Second Chances

by Younker, Tracy

  His big feet pound up the stairs and he bursts into a fit of laughter as he steps into my room. I shoot him a dirty look in the mirror.

  “Why, Haylee Jo, I do believe you are growing up right before my eyes,” he mocks and even pretends to wipe a tear from the corner of his eye.

  “Shut it, Griff, or I swear to God!” I threaten and spin around to face him. He's teasing the shit out of me because I never spend time getting ready or worry about what I'm wearing.

  He glances all around my room, chuckling to himself. “Shit, Haylee, if I didn't know better I'd say a tornado touched down . . .just in your bedroom,” he is now bent over laughing at his own joke.

  “I couldn't decide what to wear, you asshole!” But I can't be mad at him, and next thing I know I am laughing right along with him. “I don't know what's wrong with me.”

  “I do,” he smirks. “His name is Chase Atwood and you like him and he's gonna be at the bonfire tonight.” I chuck a sneaker at him and it catches him right in the chest but he reaches out and grabs it before it hits the floor.

  “It's just weird that he's back all of a sudden,” I sigh and flop down on the mound of clothes covering my bed. “And he's just a friend.”

  “I'm not blind, Haylee. There is something more between you and Chase than just friendship, and I think it started long before he ever left.” He plops down in the wicker chair in the corner of my room, which is also piled with clothes. Griff may have been right about my feelings, but I am fairly confident that Chase only sees me as a really good friend. He's been with all those Cali girls for four years. I just can't compare with that.

  “He didn't lie to me after all, Griff,” I speak softly as I lay there just staring at the ceiling while I think about what Chase told me on the boat. I have been so hurt and angry for so long. Now I hurt again, but in a different way, knowing that he tried to contact me and I'd never even known it. “He wrote a bunch of letters but I never got any of them. He said he'd written to you and Brynn in them as well.”

  “Is that what ya'll we're talking about on the boat when we interrupted?” he asks. “'Cause it looked pretty heated from where I was standing.”

  I pick my head up to glance at him to see if he is teasing me again. Sure enough, he's smiling at me with a single raised eyebrow. “Yes, as a matter of fact it was.” I tell him and stick my tongue out like a child.

  “So is that what you're wearing?” he raises both eyebrows as he looks over my skimpy thrown-together outfit. “You might be a little cold out there tonight in that.”

  “Get your sorry ass out of my room and I'll change already!” I say as I wad up a pair of jeans from beside me and launch them at him.

  “Hurry up, Princess.” He laughs at me as he saunters past and closes my door behind him. I stand up and look at myself in the mirror again. I am no princess! I do have to admit though that I feel different all of a sudden. My stomach has been in knots all day and I am suddenly so worried about how I look. I suppose this happens to most girls at a much younger age but I've just never cared this much before now. I've dated guys because I know that's what I am supposed to be doing, but I've never felt anything for any of them. Chase is supposed to be my friend so it's a little, well, a lot strange to have these strong, new feelings for him.

  I sigh. I don't know the first thing about dressing sexy or what kind of thing will turn Chase on so I give up. I tug on a pair of skinny jeans and pull a white tank top over my head and cover that with a purple and blue flannel shirt. I leave a bunch of the top buttons undone and realize that the neckline of the tank dips low enough to display some cleavage. I smile at that and pull a brush through my hair one more time. I dig through the mounds of clothes until I find my purple Converse and head downstairs. I quickly throw in a load of laundry so that I won't be out of bathing suits tomorrow.

  I find Griff sitting on the couch in the living room with his flip flop shod feet propped up on the coffee table, watching TV. He glances at his watch and says, ”Impressive. I thought for sure I'd have to come up there and dig you out of the rubble.”

  I choose to ignore him this time. “Where is Chase anyway?” He is staying with Griff and going to the bonfire as well, so why isn't he with Griff now?

  “He is going to go and try talking to Brynn. Let her know he is in town. He said he'd meet us over there,” Griff replies and my eyes go wide with shock. I actually feel sorry for him. He has no idea how much Brynn has changed. “Don't worry, I warned him, and I would give anything to be a fly on that wall.”

  We both laugh as Griff stands up. I have no idea how Brynn will react to seeing Chase. She pretty much doesn't do anything you would expect a normal human being to do these days. Brynn's mom and my dad were brother and sister, and her mom had a hard time after his death as well. She seems to be handling it better than my mom is now though, but she doesn't really know the extent of how much Brynn has changed. They know we don't hang out anymore and they are constantly trying to get us back together.

  Griff and I head out to his truck. He'll have to drive because we have to get all the way out to the field and my little Corolla won't do well out there. By the time we get over to Shelper's field, it's chock full of trucks, jeeps, and SUV's. I can see the orange glow of the giant bonfire as soon as we near the field and the trees were no longer in the way. People are laughing and mingling and music can be heard above it all.

  “You nervous?” Griff asks as he walks around the truck and stands beside me.

  “No, why do you think that?” I ask nonchalantly as I let my gaze take it all in.

  “Because you were wringing your hands like a crazy person the whole way here,” Griff smiles down at me.

  “Oh,” is all I say. I wasn't even aware that I was doing it, but yeah, I am pretty nervous.

  “You know he's still just Chase, right?” Griff asks and we start walking through some of the trucks parked haphazardly around us.

  “I'm fine,” I reply quietly. It's my standard response and Griff just nods his head twice like he is acknowledging that he can see right through that. The sky is dark and clear overhead but you can't quite make out the stars because the light from the fire is that bright.

  Griff slaps hands with a few people along way and then he stops to talk to someone that I recognize from the garage where he works, so I keep walking, watching people as I go. Tonight for some reason, being here reminds me of the one time that Brynn and I had come to one of these with Griff and Chase after their freshman year of high school. She and I weren't even in high school yet, but Griff and Chase had been like big brothers that night. They made sure that no one gave us a hard time and that we had fun. Not many guys would willingly choose to hang out with their younger, platonic female friends at a mostly high school party. I found myself reminiscing more now that Chase is back in town.

  “Haylee!” I hear a shrill voice call out and I cringe and wish I could become invisible for a moment. “That was some practice you had this morning!” Valerie, the ridiculously tall, leggy brunette, steps in front of me with her hand cocked on her hip. She places it there so often, I start to wonder if she's stuck like that. Valerie is Brynn's new BFF and hands down the meanest bitch I know.

  I try to step around her and just ignore her but she slides over to block me. “What do you really want, Valerie?” I ask. I'm so tired of her crap. We aren't in high school anymore, thank God, and I really just want her to move on.

  “I just wanted to congratulate you on getting your sorry ass kicked out of class this morning. I've been dreaming of that moment for years,” she laughs.

  “So have I, Valerie, so have I,” I mutter.

  “If you hate it so much, then why are you still there?” she demands, leaning right over in my face. I'm not scared of her in the least bit. She may tower over me, but I have no doubt I can beat the shit out of her. It's her mission in life to aggravate the crap out of me every chance she gets. I also know that she's jealous of me. Somehow she is aware that I am really not inte
rested in dance, but I'm good at it. She and I are the top dancers in Madame Eileen's school, and she wants nothing more than for me to leave so that her closest competition is gone.

  I roll my eyes when Brynn steps up beside Valerie. “I had the strangest visitor show up at my house a little while ago,” Brynn smirks. She's a little taller than I am and her hair is light brown and pulled up into a high ponytail with perfect ringlet curls flowing from it. “And now that I'm thinking about it, I'd be willing to bet that Chase being back all of a sudden is what had you all worked up in dance this morning. Naturally he would come see you first. You two were always stuck together at the hip. I don't know what got you so flustered though; I'd practically forgotten all about him.”

  “You're a terrible liar, Brynn,” I tell her. I know for a fact that she had been devastated when he'd left, just like Griff and I had. I turn on my heel and am about to walk around the two of them when Brynn's hand shoots out and catches my arm.

  I turn back to face her with a frown. “There's no point in getting yourself all worked up over him. He's in a whole other league now. He's goddamn jaw-dropping and he's been with real women. He won't want his tomboy playmate anymore.”

  I pull my arm out of her grasp and walk away from them. Unfortunately, Brynn always knows just what to say to cut me right down. I slowly make my way through groups of people here and there, unable to shake off what my hateful cousin has said, because I know she's right. Chase is by far the best looking guy I've ever laid eyes on, and I am just a simple, small town tomboy. I stop by one of the many coolers spread out around the field and grab a beer as I get closer to the circle of people around the fire.

  On the opposite side, there are a few trucks backed up to face the fire and there are people sitting up in the beds of the trucks. I recognize the majority of the faces in the crowd from school and around town, but I'm feeling very much alone.

  I take a big gulp of my beer and when I look across the huge fire again, my breath leaves me for a moment as I make eye contact with Chase as he stands talking with a couple of guys who'd played hockey for the high school. He smiles at me and I feel a warmth settle over me that has nothing to do with my proximity to the roaring fire. How am I supposed to turn these feelings off?

  “There you are,” I hear someone say just as a set of arms come around my waist from behind. I flinch and turn to look over my shoulder. Parker is smiling down at me and he looks stoned already.

  “Come on, Parker,” I mutter as I wiggle out of his grasp and spin around to face him.

  “I've been looking for you,” he smiles, his eyes barely hanging half open.

  “What are you on, Parker?” I ask him as he's stepping closer, trying to wrap his arms around me again. He gets high with some buddies of his every once in a while, and I am so turned off by that shit.

  “Don't you worry your pretty little head about me, Haylee. I'm good.” He's whispering and bringing his mouth down close to my ear. I shiver from the contact that I do not want and push him back with both of my hands against his chest.

  “You're not good, Parker. You're drunk and stoned!” I hiss at him. “What the hell is the matter with you?”

  “I missed you. Why don't you come with me?” he slurs and takes a hold of my wrist as he starts to pull me away from the fire.

  “Damn it, Parker! Let go of me!” I yell and try to pull my arm away. His grip is tight though, and he isn't paying any attention to what I'm saying as he drags me through people. I am struggling against his claw-like grip on my wrist when I run smack into his back because he finally quits pulling on me. He doesn't let go of my wrist though, and I look past him to see what's going on.

  Chase stands in front of Parker with a fierce look on his face.

  “Chase! Long time no see,” Parker tries to joke as he attempts to take a step around him. Chase put a hand up to Parker's chest, stopping him cold. “What the hell, bro?”

  “Haylee asked you to let go of her,” Chase replies calmly as he looks down to where Parker is squeezing my wrist. Parker looks down then too and quickly releases my wrist. “Why don't you go sober up?”

  Parker looks back at me with a sad expression and then continues on, shoving and stumbling his way through the crowd.

  “Are you okay?” Chase askes me as he steps closer. I rub my sore wrist with my other hand and shake my head. “Is he like that all the time?”

  I shake my head again. “No, not at all. I mean I've seen him high a couple of times before, but not all the time.”

  “What about the way he was dragging you like that?”

  “He's never done that before. I think he is just messed up,” I reply.

  “You don't do that shit with him do you?”

  I roll my eyes at him acting all big brother toward me like he used to. “No, Chase, I've never touched drugs and I have no interest. I do need another beer though.” I smile up at him, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Come on then,” he smiles back at me and holds his hand out to me. It's nothing at all like what Parker just did to me. I put my hand in his and let him lead me through the bodies toward one of the coolers. My hand feels small and delicate inside of his and I find that I like him holding my hand even if it is just to get me through the crowd. He stops beside a cooler and reaches in to grab a beer, but doesn't release my hand. He hands me the cold bottle, then grabs one for himself.

  Still holding my hand, he leads me around to the other side of the fire where I'd seen him standing earlier and over to a black Dakota. He set his beer in the bed of it and pulls open the tailgate.

  “Whose truck?” I ask as he lets go of my hand to climb up inside.

  “Technically it belongs to Enterprise, but it's mine for the time being,” he says as he grabs a blanket from the corner behind the cab and spreads it out in the bed. “I got sick of the Focus and traded up.”

  I laugh, almost choking on a sip of beer, as he leans over and holds his hand out for me again. I give him my hand again and let him help pull me into the bed of the truck. “Besides, I knew the Focus wouldn't make it out here,” he explains and I sit down on the blanket with my knees up in front of me. He sits down beside me and he's so close that I can feel the heat of his body warming the side of mine. He reaches over and takes my hand, weaving his fingers with mine, and I can't help but look down at our entwined hands. Luckily we are just far enough from the fire that I don't think he'll be able to see the way my cheeks flame red. I like holding his hand like this but I wonder if this is something that friends do.

  “Griff told me you went over to see Brynn,” I say softly and glance over at him to see his reaction.

  He purses his lips and nods his head once. “Yeah. . .she's. . .a pretty angry person these days.” A laugh bursts out of my mouth. That's putting it mildly! “You still dance with her then?”

  “Unfortunately,” I sigh.

  “I thought for sure you'd have been long done with that,” he replies and I can feel his eyes glued to the side of my face. He's known all along that I never liked dancing. Mom used to plead with me when I would ask her if I could quit. She'd always say something like, “Stick it out for six more months and then we'll see how you feel.”

  “I never had the heart to complain about it again after Dad died. It just seemed like it meant so much to Mom, and sometimes it feels like it's all she has. . .”

  “Does Brynn talk to you at dance?”

  “Not unless she's bitching at me about something.”

  We're silent for a few minutes as we watch the craziness going on all around us. Being up here in the bed of the truck sort of makes it feel like we're alone out here despite the music and noise of people everywhere.

  I notice that his thumb is rubbing small circles along the back of my hand and I find myself resisting the urge to kiss him. I can easily get addicted to the way that I am feeling right now. No wonder so many songs are written about how people do such crazy things for love.

  “So do you have any time to hang
out tomorrow? Just you and me?” he asks and I tilt my face up to look at him. His pupils are vast pools of darkness with tiny flecks of the brillant blue that I can see from the flames of the fire flickering in their depths. I'm not sure I can think about tomorrow right now. . .except that he is asking me to hang out with him. . . alone.

  “Um. . . I have a make up dance session in the morning and then I'm free,” I say slowly and notice that his gaze seems to have moved down to my mouth. I swear that all the chaos has gone silent around us.

  “Can I pick you up at. . . noon, then?” His voice seems lower than normal and kind of husky, and I can feel the sound of it vibrate right down between my legs.

  I hope I still have a voice left to answer him because I am not sure anything is functioning correctly inside of me right now. “Sure. What are we doing?”

  His lips quirk upward on one side and I feel my heart clench at the sight. “You'll have to wait and see,” he says softly and begins to lean forward just a bit. The only thing I can hear in that moment is my heart hammering inside my chest, and it actually sounds like it is right behind my ear. If it's that loud, he can probably hear it as well. I can just feel the warmth of his breath against my lips when -- damn! -- loud shouts and hollering erupt behind us. We both pull back and turn around to find Griff, Max, and a few other guys running up alongside the Dakota and piling into the bed around us.

  I've never wanted to murder Griff more than I do at that very moment.

  Chapter 10 - Chase

  Seeing Parker putting his hands on Haylee is getting old on a good day, but when I see him wrapping his arms around her from across the fire and her pushing him away, only to have him try again, I just lose it. Seeing that move brings me right back to a game we all went to at the high school.

  When Brynn and Haylee were in seventh grade, the four of us had gone to a high school football game together on a Friday night. Haylee had gone down to the concession stand and I saw her making her way back through the hoards of people to the bleachers where we were sitting. She was so small that she could easily get swallowed by a crowd. I happened to be watching her when a guy approached her and the two of them started talking. I'd gotten the strangest feeling in the pit of my stomach as I watched. The guy was a year older than me and I had PE with him. He was a total player and was always talking in the locker room about the girls that he'd 'banged.' The guy wasn't a friend of mine or anything, but at that moment, I realized that I hated him. I hated the fact that he was talking to Haylee.