Second Chances

by Younker, Tracy

  “Punkin is a she, so I wouldn't be too worried,” I tell him with a smile of my own.

  “And you come over here to the barn, but you don't come see me,” he murmurs as he sits down beside me. Is he really jealous? He reaches his hand out to pet Punkin and she leans her little head right into his hand with her eyes closed contentedly. Hell, I feel like doing the same thing when he's near.

  “Sorry, but I needed some time to just. . . think for a while,” I explain. He nods his understanding and glances to where Momma is crouched. I tell him what the note said about her.

  “So, we won't be able to get you out of the barn until she has her kittens, will we?” he teases. There have been a couple of pregnant cats here before and I always want to be there for the birth. There were even a few nights when I was young that I'd slept in a sleeping bag in the barn. I'd made Griff, Brynn, and Chase join me once too.

  “I don't know. If you kiss me like you did earlier, I might be more interested in other things,” My cheeks flame even as I say it and his blue eyes light up.

  “So we're okay then? I was afraid if you thought about things too much you'd toss me aside where I probably belong,” he says and I sit up to face him. I hate to hear him talking down about himself like this. He's never been like this before.

  “Chase, I couldn't turn away from you,” I say and hold his gaze with my own. “I'm scared to admit it, but I love you.”

  “I love you too, Hayles,” he whispers. He reaches one hand up and lets his fingertips trace along my cheekbone as his eyes travel down to my lips. I shiver from the chills I get from his touch. “So much.” His eyes begin to close as he leans toward me and then I feel the warmth of his lips against my own. I want to draw closer to him but Punkin is still in my lap and I'm sure she has no intention of moving. I tilt my head though and nip my teeth along his bottom lip. He moans and brings his other hand up to the base of my neck. I gently push Punkin out of my lap and she meows in protest. I'd make it up her later. I move so that I'm straddling Chase's legs, letting my hands travel up into his hair. This brings another groan from deep in his throat and he weaves his fingers into my hair at the nape of my neck. Something inside me is telling me to keep going and it's an addictive feeling. It's the powerful feelings and the passion I feel for this boy. . .man. I love the way his arms feel around me and the taste of his mouth as it moves against mine.

  “Whoa,” comes someone's voice, and Chase and I pull away from each other. We find Griff standing in the main doorway to the barn with Sam at his side, trying to look anywhere but at the two of us. “Gonna take some time to get used to seeing that,” he jokes, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans and walking farther in.

  Chase smiles at me as though he likes the way Griff is reacting. I quickly scoot off of his lap, a little bit embarrassed. I've never been one for PDA and I had thought we were alone.

  “I was just coming out to check on the cat Dad just told me about, but I can leave if y'all want,” Griff offers, as a shit-eating grin spreads across his face.

  “That'd be awesome, man,” Chase calls out to him and I smack his arm. They both laugh at me. Great. I really need a girlfriend!

  “Momma is over here,” I tell Griff, trying to distract them from their little laugh session at my expense.

  “Momma, huh?” Chase asks.

  “Hey, it fits,” I shrug, but I can't tear my mind away from that kiss. It's as if I've been possessed and can't get enough of Chase. Griff leans over to peek at Momma and I look over at Chase. He can stand there doing nothing and still set my heart racing. Of course he looks over and catches me checking him out. He winks at me and holds out his hand.

  “We all sleeping out here tonight?” Griff asks as I take Chase's hand. They both look at me like they think I'll say yes.

  “No, don't worry I won't make your grown asses sleep out here,” I tell them and feel Chase weaving his fingers through mine. We've held hands plenty of times before but this time is different. I can tell that he thinks so too by the look on his face. That half smile and those heavy-lidded eyes. This feels so right, but that scares me for so many different reasons. I'm really wishing that Griff hadn't shown up. Not that I'd have taken it all the way in the barn or anything, but I definitely want to take it all the way somewhere and soon!

  We spend what's left of the daylight out on the water and the Michaels invite Chase and I to join them for a late dinner. It's dark by now and they're grilling out on the patio. It feels like the old days aside from the fact that Brynn is missing.

  Chase walks me home that night even though I've walked home alone in the dark a million times before. He holds my hand in his as we walk and everything feels brand new. My heart is soaring with happiness and there seems to be an endless rush of adrenaline coursing through my veins. So this is what it feels like to be in love and actually have that person beside you. I love the feeling and never want to come down from the high I'm on.

  We stand facing each other on my front porch and I'm glad that the light is off so that Mom won't be able to see anything. I know that he is going to kiss me. It's strange to be living the cliché. Guy kisses girl good night on her front porch as they're secretly hoping their parents aren't watching. I feel like I'm thirteen!

  “Today was a great day for me, Hayles, even with emotions all over the place at the river,” his voice is low and husky and he reaches a hand up to tuck my hair behind my ear, letting it rest along my neck. “I can't tell you how happy I am.”

  “Me too,” I tell him. “You can come inside,” I suggest, my newly awakened libido doing the thinking for me now. I don't know if Mom is still up, but I figure not. I just don't want to say goodbye to him.

  Even as a boyish grin spreads across his face, he's shaking his head no. “You're really testing my resolve here, Hayles.” His voice is even lower now and he leans down to kiss me briefly. “I'll see you tomorrow.” He kisses me again, and this time he isn't brief, and his lips and tongue are insistent. I wonder if maybe he's going to change his mind about coming up, when he suddenly pulls away and I'm left cold and alone. I still smile though as I head inside. Chase and I are finally together.

  The next morning I'm up early for dance and dreading it even more than normal. I haven't heard Mom up and about and I'm hoping to get out of here before she is. I'm not ready to face her yet. I slide into a blue sports bra and grey boy shorts. I pile my hair up on top of my head, grab my dance shoes, and head downstairs. I luck out and Mom isn't anywhere to be seen. I can't help but look over at Griff's. Chase is there and I just want to be with him. Just get it over with, I tell myself as I climb into my car and head into town towards the studio.

  It's brutal as usual and I can't stop looking at the clock the whole time we're practicing. I'm sure Madame Eileen noticed, but thankfully she doesn't say anything. I'm the first one to grab my bag and dart for the door. I shove the glass door open with my car keys on the ready and I freeze when I look up. Chase is leaning against the wooden railing that edges the sidewalk. To say that I am surprised is an understatement. I didn't even tell him what time I get done with practice.

  He looks absolutely delicious. His brown hair is still damp from a shower and his snug grey t-shirt accentuates the muscles along his shoulders and chest. He's wearing jeans and has one leg propped up behind him. He's smiling at my reaction and his blue eyes are devastating.

  I walk right up to him and wrap my arms around his neck. He smells amazing as always and I nestle my face close to his neck in order draw in more of his scent. You would think that I am a cat in heat! All of a sudden the door behind me opens and chatting, giggling girls begin to file out. They stop and snicker, and some even try making eyes at Chase.

  “God, Haylee,” Brynn's voice shoots right through me. “Could you be any more desperate? I mean, really. He's back in town for like two days and you're throwing yourself at him. He's only going to leave again.”

  I draw away from Chase and spin around to face her, but like a co
ward she and her bitch squad have already started walking away.

  Chase takes my arm and turns me back around to him, wrapping his arms around me again. “Don't let her get to you,” he says, and I relax again. Brynn's words, though, have already settled into my mind, 'He's only going to leave again.' I can't think about this. He's here to stay; at least that's what he said

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, leaning back just a bit to look up at his perfect face.

  “What? Not happy to see your boyfriend?” he asks with a wicked grin and I think I almost pass out. Boyfriend? Is that what he is now? It's what I want for sure, but I've been afraid to let myself think it.

  “Of course I'm happy to see you.” I insist with a smile that may have very well been permanently plastered on my face. “I just didn't expect you here.”

  “I like to surprise you,” he says quietly and bends down to kiss me. I'm surprised all right. In so many different ways that I feel like I'm spinning. His lips are warm and taste like cinnamon. The firmness of his chest pressed against mine and the warmth of his hands splayed along the bare skin of my back cause me to shiver.

  Realization dawns on me and I pull back a bit. “I need to shower,” I say as I scrunch up my face. He smells so delicious, and I'm sure I smell nasty after dancing for an hour and a half. He just shrugs though.

  “You look amazing,” he whispers beside my ear, which causes me to shiver again. I could not look amazing! My hair is piled on my head, I have no makeup on, and I'm sweaty after dancing. “I'm going to see you in that outfit in my dreams tonight.” I giggle then. Hopefully he'll be seeing the real thing instead of just a dream.

  He follows me home and lounges by the TV while I take a quick shower. I put on a cotton sundress and a little makeup. I finger-comb my wet hair, not wanting to take the time to dry it, and hurry back downstairs. I love the way his face lights up like a child on Christmas morning when he sees me. I can see his eyes taking in every inch of me, but I'm also aware that Griff is sitting beside him on the couch.

  Griff clears his throat, glaring at Chase. I guess he's noticed his perusal of me as well. Chase just smirks at him though.

  “Did you check on Momma this morning?” I ask Griff. He nods.

  “No kittens yet,” he replies.

  “Um, since you're both here, I wanted to let you know that I'm gonna fly back to California tomorrow,” Chase starts saying and my stomach knots up immediately and my good mood evaporates. “Before you freak out,” he looks right at me when he says that, “I've gotta go back for a competition that I'm already registered for and to get my stuff packed up. As soon as I'm done, I'll be on my way back here.”

  No one says anything for a few seconds and I wish that I was sitting down because my legs feel like overcooked pasta, ready to drop me at any second.

  “Hayles,” Chase says imploringly. He stands up and takes my hands in his. He bends down a bit to look me in the eyes. “I'm coming back. This is where I want to be, I promise you. And you know now that I keep my promises.”

  I nod. I believe him, but I still have to accept the fact that I will have to say goodbye to him again. . .tomorrow. He pulls me into his arms and I hold on tight. “The sooner I go, the sooner I can get back. That's why I'm going tomorrow. I just want to get this over with. The competition is Saturday, and I can pack up some stuff beforehand. I'll try to get everything worked out as quickly as possible.”

  “You have people to help you pack?” Griff asks from where he still sits on the couch. I feel Chase nod. “Yeah, my friend Dylan already offered to help out.”

  Brynn's words from earlier are haunting me. 'He's just gonna leave again.' She'd been right and I hate that! Maybe it isn't like she thinks, but it is still difficult. I'd so quickly gotten used to having him around again.

  The three of us spend the day on the lake and lounging on Griff's dock. I check in on Momma every so often and she seems more receptive to me already. I'm trying my best not to think about the next morning but the thoughts are there every time I look at Chase. We start a bonfire in the fire pit in Griff's backyard when it gets dark out. His parents don't mind that I'm not old enough to drink yet as long as I don't drive anywhere, so we have a few beers. I sit snuggled in Chase's arms in front of the fire and we relive old stories of some of the crazy and stupid things we've all done. It feels good to laugh like this. When we finally get tired, Griff heads in first to give us some privacy. Chase walks me across the street and assures me that things are going to be good now. We stand facing each other on the porch beside the front door.

  “I won't be gone very long,” he says as he runs his knuckles along my cheekbone. “I can't wait to get back here and start my life over again, with you.” He smiles as he leans down and captures my lips with his. The warmth of his mouth and body envelop me immediately and I want to stay just like this forever.

  I hate to leave him but I make myself go inside and slowly climb the stairs to the bathroom. I brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Mom is already asleep and I don't even bother to turn the light on in my room. I slide out of the sundress and into a tank top and shorts. I crawl beneath the covers and I can't stop the tears from coming. I can't believe tha Chase just got back, and declared his love for me. Now he is leaving all over again and I don't know if my heart can take it. How can I say good-bye to him all over again? Do I trust that he will keep his promise this time and come back? I want to . . . I need to, but there is no reasoning with my heart. I am still scared.

  Chapter 16 - Chase

  I had known that Haylee wouldn't handle the news of my leaving tomorow well, but I really want to get this transition over with and just be back here so I can be with her forever. We had a great day together just hanging out like old times. Getting to hold Haylee in my arms by the bonfire had been amazing. She's so tiny and soft. She's ripped with muscles from boarding, but her skin and curves are still perfectly soft. Her hair smells like strawberries, which I remember from when we were young.

  It kills me to say good night to her and walk away. I know she is upset even though she is trying to hide it. I know she wonders if I'll really come back this time and I plan to show her that I keep my word. I get ready for bed, pulling on a t-shirt and athletic shorts, and step into my bedroom at Griff's, but I know I won't be able to sleep a wink. The house is quiet already as I turn around and make my way back down the stairs as softly as possible. I jog across the street and around the back of Haylee's house, and I scale the tree outside her window in no time. The branches are low and in need of trimming without Haylee's dad to keep up with it. I plan to help them out with a few things around here when I get back. Mr. Weston taught me so much, the very least I could do is watch out for his widow and daughter.

  I ease my way out onto the branch that reaches closest to her window. I weigh more than I had at sixteen, so I want to make sure it'll still hold me. I can just hear her dad telling me, “You're gonna fall and break your leg one day Chase.” Her light isn't on, so I wonder if she's even in there or maybe she's asleep already. I tap lightly on the glass and wait. Nothing. I tap again and I'm startled when the window pane slides up.

  “Chase!” she exclaims and practically drags me inside. Here I'd been afraid she wouldn't want to see me. “You scared the shit out of me!” she hisses but even in the darkness I can see that she is smiling and my heart pounds more strongly because of that smile.

  “I can go,” I say in a hushed voice as I turn back toward the window.

  “NO!” she shrieks and throws a hand over her mouth as she reaches out and catches my arm. I spin back around with a grin. Her reaction is exactly what I've been hoping for. Minus the high pitched outburst, of course. We hold still and silent for a moment, waiting to hear if her mom stirs. Nope. We're good.

  “Sorry, but there is no way I am going to sleep over there tonight,” I whisper and touch my fingertips to her cheek. Her skin there is damp and it's not from sweat. “You've been crying.”

  She shrugs and rea
ches down for the bottom of my t-shirt. My body immediately thinks she's going to take my shirt off but she just pulls it up enough to wipe the tears from her cheeks and then she drops it back down. I let out a tight laugh. She never does what I expect and now I probably have a tent in my athletic shorts. I really don't care though as I pull her to my chest and wrap my arms around her. “You believe me when I say I'm coming back, right?”

  “Yes,” she whispers. “It's still tough though. My heart feels the same way it did the last time. You're still leaving tomorrow and you don't have a return ticket yet. You're not sure how long you're gonna be. . .”

  I release her and take her face in each of my hands. I lean down so that I'm right at eye level with her. “I am coming back as soon as I possibly can, I promise,” I whisper, my voice is determined and then I kiss her firmly with that same determination.

  “Okay,” she says softly when I break the kiss, but her eyes are still sad. She takes my hand in hers and leads me back over to sit on the edge of her bed with her. There's just enough light from the moon coming in the open curtains of her window that I can see her clearly. She looks even more beautiful here in this light. “Will you be okay while you're gone?” She asks and her concern tugs at my heart. She's worried about me.

  “I'll be fine,” I assure her and she turns her body to face me. I run my hand up and down the soft skin of her arm. I just feel the need to touch her all the time. “Dylan'll help me pack up. I don't have that much stuff anyway and the competition should be a breeze.” I don't mention that things will be difficult with Lexi. Haylee doesn't need to know any more of the nasty details of my life. I know that she's worried about me using again too, but I don't want to bring that up tonight. I'm done with that shit. It isn't even on my radar anymore.

  Her lips have this full, pouty look about them from the shadows cast by the moonlight. I reach up to rest my palm against her cheek and trail my thumb along her bottom lip. Her tongue darts out to lick where I've just touched and my dick is rock hard. I groan and close my eyes as I lean forward and kiss those perfect lips. She gasps at my suddenness but responds to me right away. She reaches up her hands and plays with the hair at the back of my neck. It feels amazing and pushes me to keep going. I just want to feel like this forever. I lick at those lips of hers and kiss my way down the smooth column of her neck. I can feel her pulse pounding beneath my own lips and I feel like I might lose my mind. Kissing someone has never before been so intense. She has a thin cotton tank on so I easily slide the strap aside and kiss and nip along her collarbone. She tilts her head back and I can hear that her breathing is quick and heavy. I am a goner for sure. She shifts a bit and then all of a sudden her thighs are on either side of mine like in the barn earlier. If I don't calm down, I'm gonna blow it in my shorts.