On the Plus Side

by Vargo, Tabatha

  With every kick, I could hear the echoed laughter of teenage girls. I could hear them calling me Large Lilly. It was a replay of when I was fifteen, except instead of a group of girls I was being kicked and punched by a grown man. I must say I preferred the girls.

  Just like before, my body went numb and I could no longer feel his kicks. I knew in the back of mind that the numbness was a bad thing.

  I heard Jenny scream again and I tried with everything I had to get up once more. Instead of my stomach, I saw his foot coming toward my face. I tried to reach out, but I couldn’t lift my arms. I felt his large boot on the side of my head, and then the room went black.

  Twenty-One

  Breaking News

  I heard my cell phone ringing. In my sleep I couldn’t decide if it was really ringing or if I was dreaming. I kept thinking in my sleepy daze that maybe it was Lilly calling me. Then I realized my cell phone really was ringing and had been for a long time.

  I jumped up quick and rummaged through the strange, dark room looking for my phone. I found it inside the couch I was sleeping on.

  The number wasn’t familiar. I figured it must be Renee. How she got my new cell number, I had no idea, but only she would have the guts to actually call me at this time in the morning. Knowing her, it was probably something juvenile and stupid.

  “Hello!” I screamed into the phone.

  “Devin! It’s Dad, you awake?” He sounded like he was panicking. Dad never panicked.

  “What’s wrong?” I said.

  I rubbed my eyes abruptly and shook my head trying to shake the sleep from my brain.

  “You need to get back in town as soon as possible…something’s happened.”

  I was already on my feet and the minute he said that I felt like I was falling.

  “What’s happened? Are you OK? Where’s Jenny?” I blurted out as I grabbed at random pieces of clothing I had lying around the room.

  I pulled on a pair of jeans and the t-shirt I wore earlier that day. I threw things into my suit-case and was ready to go before he spoke again.

  “Jenny’s been hurt. There were so many of them. I should’ve been there. She couldn’t…I don’t know how, but Lilly…she tried…,” he stuttered.

  “Slow down, Dad. Calm down and tell me exactly what happened. What about Jenny and Lilly?” I asked in a panic.

  “She’s…I don’t know if she’ll be OK. If it wasn’t for Lilly she might not have…we need you home, Devin. Jenny was asking for you. Just please get to Saint Marion Hospital as soon as possible OK? I don’t wanna do this over the phone and please be careful. I can’t stomach the thought of losing either of you tonight. I love you, Son, and I’ll see you soon.”

  There was silence on the other line before the screen on my phone went black. Dad had hung up and whatever was going on was bad.

  Dad was sober and he was still stuttering. That alone scared the shit out of me. What the hell was going on back home?

  I didn’t even stop to tell Alex I was leaving. I didn’t care about that. I just needed to get back home to Charleston as soon as possible. All I could do was pray that they were OK.

  Questions filled my mind as I threw my suit-case in the backseat of my car. I stood beside it for a minute before I got in.

  Had the world stopped turning? I suddenly felt like my brain was spinning while the world around me was still. I thought I was going to faint. I shook my head trying to clear it. Jenny needed me, and I think Lilly needed me, too. They were the only women in my world who didn’t break me down or hurt me and I wasn’t there for them. I needed to be there for them, no matter what.

  I made it to the hospital in record time. A four-hour trip had taken me a little over two.

  I jumped out of the car and ran into the hospital. When I made it to the front desk there was no one there. I was about to lose control when I noticed Dad walking toward me. He was so pale. He came up to me and wrapped his arms around me and squeezed.

  I followed him to a room where my sister was laying in the bed. I stood in shock for a minute as I took in the fact that she looked as if she’d been beaten pretty badly. I ran to the side of the bed and grabbed her hand.

  “Jenny, what happened sweetie? Tell me what happened. I’ll kill the son of a bitch who did this, I swear!”

  I could feel the anger rising inside of me. I meant it! I’d kill whoever it was that had put their hands on my baby sister.

  “I’m OK, just some bumps and bruises—nothing I can’t handle,” she said roughly. “I fought him, Dev. I even kicked him in the balls a few times. Oh, sorry…I said balls again.” She attempted to smile.

  She went over the events of the day. I felt a stab in the stomach when she told me about her and Lilly spending the day together and Lilly helping her get ready for a dance. She explained the after party full of drugs and older people and told me about how she called Lilly before being pulled upstairs into a bedroom by three strange men. I felt like I was about to snap with rage.

  “If it wasn’t for Lilly, they would’ve raped me, Devin. There’s no telling what else.” Tears spilled from her swollen eyes. “Then a bunch of people from the party came bursting into the room—they must of heard my screams—and the guys took off running. Thankfully, someone called an ambulance.”

  I looked around the room for the first time. I wanted Lilly there with me. I wanted to hug her and thank her for protecting one the most important people in my life, but as I looked around she was nowhere to be found. I looked over at my dad who was in tears.

  “Where is she, Dad? Where’s Lilly?”

  “Follow me,” he said sadly.

  He didn’t say much else as I followed him to the elevator and then down the long hallway of the intensive care floor. He opened the door and walked into the room. I couldn’t make myself go through the door. I just stood there in the doorway staring in. Lying in the bed across the room was Lilly, and she was covered in tubes and wires.

  Her face was swollen and unrecognizable. Her hair was smothered with dry blood. There were stitches over her left eyebrow and bruises everywhere. When I got the nerve to walk to her bed, I slowly reached out and grabbed her soft hand. She didn’t move. The loud machine next to her bed was beeping so loudly, but everything sounded muffled.

  She was unconscious, and from the funny looking machine that blew air into her lungs, it was obvious that she wasn’t even breathing on her own. My knees felt like they were going to give out on me. I held onto the wall next to me to keep myself from falling.

  This can’t be happening!

  “Is she going to be OK?” My throat felt thick.

  “I’m so sorry, Devin.” Dad said to me as the tears flowed down his cheeks.

  For the first time since my mother left, I cried on my dad’s shoulder.

  About thirty minutes after I contacted Shannon, she showed up at the hospital and cried over Lilly. She then called Mrs. Sheffield, who was hysterical. I listened as Shannon tried to calm her. Soon she was stuffing her cell phone back into her purse and at Lilly’s bedside again.

  “Mrs. Sheffield is losing it. She’s on vacation and can’t get here for at least two days,” she sniffled.

  Shannon seemed upset by the fact that Lilly’s mom wasn’t going to be there for two days. I, on the other hand, was a little bit relieved. I knew her mother should be there, but I knew the minute she saw my face all would be revealed and I wasn’t ready for that. I wanted Lilly better and I wanted to hold her at least one last time before the truth came out.

  Later, the doctor came in and talked to Shannon and me. Lilly had some internal bleeding as well as some swelling around her brain.

  “I think if we can get the swelling around her brain down, I’ll feel a lot better about her prognosis. Right now it’s hard to say. She could wake up at any time, or she could be in this comatose state for a while longer. There’s no way to know until the swelling goes down a bit more. We have her on some antibiotics to fight some possible infections. I’ll know
more as soon as the rest of the test results come in.” He seemed as confused as we were.

  Needless to say, none of us felt any better after speaking to him.

  I spent the rest of the night in between Lilly and Jenny’s rooms.

  I proceeded to internally kick my own ass. I should’ve been there. I shouldn’t have gone to Florida. I should’ve been there for them. Jenny would’ve called me and I would’ve killed those spineless assholes. What kind of man could beat on a woman that way?

  One that deserved to die, that’s what kind.

  I was in Lilly’s room when the sun came up. I hadn’t slept a wink all night. Dad and I had taken turns in the girls’ rooms. Nurses had been in and out of both rooms all night.

  We found out around seven in the morning that Jenny would be released from the hospital later that day. Lilly, on the other hand, still wasn’t responding. I was slowly losing grip with reality, either from lack of sleep or from the shock of seeing the woman I loved with all of my heart on a ventilator and in a coma.

  “You look like you could use this.” Shannon handed me a cup of hot coffee.

  “Thanks.” I grabbed the cup and slowly sipped the hot liquid.

  I needed anything that would keep me awake so that I was there when she woke up, or should I say if she woke up.

  Shannon sat in the chair across from me.

  “I just can’t believe she’s going through this again.” She started to tear up.

  Her words caught me off guard, and I thought maybe I was hearing things.

  “Again?” I asked, confused.

  “Yeah, again. You didn’t stick around to find out, but when Lilly was a teenager she got teased a lot because of her size and didn’t really have any friends. One day, she was approached by a bunch of the girls on the cheerleading squad and they made her think they wanted to be friends with her and asked her to meet them in the woods on the outskirts of the school property. She went, and when she got there the girls proceeded to call her names and then beat her until she was unconscious. Her mom told me more about it than Lilly did, but I know she was in the hospital for a while.”

  Why hadn’t she ever told me about that? I thought she told me everything.

  “What happened to the girls?” I asked with anger.

  I could feel my grip on the coffee cup tightening.

  “Nothing. Lilly refused to press charges or anything. Considering what they took from her, I would’ve sued the little bitches, but not our Lilly. She just switched schools and never spoke of it again. That was the last time she cried—well, until you.”

  Shannon quickly got up and busied herself. The conversation had just taken an awkward turn.

  I, on the other hand, suddenly felt sick to my stomach. Just knowing that I was no better than the girls from her high school crushed me. I made her cry. I was paid to date her and then I made her cry.

  I stepped up to the side of Lilly’s bed and grabbed her soft hand again. I’d been doing that over and over again throughout the night. I’m not sure why I did it, but I think maybe it was because I needed to know that she was still warm—that she was still alive.

  Suddenly, something that Shannon said ran through my mind once more.

  Considering what they took from her….

  “Shannon…,”

  She stopped what she was doing and turned to me.

  “Yeah?”

  “You said those girls took something from her. What did you mean by that?” I asked, confused.

  “They beat her and kicked her so bad in the stomach that she had internal bleeding along with a ton of other problems. Lilly can’t have kids now.”

  Those last words shook me. I felt lightheaded and suddenly had to sit down. I’d taken her virginity and then said some of the cruelest things about her getting pregnant and me being stuck to her. My last words to her ran through my brain.

  What if I’ve knocked you up? Do you think I want to be stuck to you like that?!

  Thinking back, I remember her trying to tell me something before I stormed out of her room. Could she have been trying to tell me that it wasn’t possible—that she could never have kids?

  I felt like shit—officially. In the short time that I’d known her, I’d managed to hurt her more than any of the horrible people that had entered her life before me, and I’m in love with her.

  I was going to make everything better. I was going to make it all go away. I silently promised that no matter what, I was going to make it up to her.

  Shannon walked out of the room as I had my mental break down. How could have I been so cold-hearted?

  I stood once more and walked over to Lilly’s bed. She looked bruised and pale, but her lips were as pink as rose petals. Without a second thought, I leaned over her.

  “Please wake up, baby,” I whispered.

  I pressed my lips against hers as I felt a single tear slide down my cheek.

  “I love you, Lilly. I’m so sorry.”

  Twenty-Two

  True Love’s Kiss

  Somewhere far away I could hear voices. They were followed by sharp pains behind my eyes, which I couldn’t seem to open. I felt warmth in my hand and then more voices. I couldn’t make them out—they were so far away.

  I tried to take a deep breath, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move anything. Slowly I was coming to more and the sounds around me were becoming more defined. I could hear Shannon talking and someone else—a male voice.

  Was that my father? Who was that?

  Then suddenly the voice was familiar.

  Devin.

  Instant sadness took over me, I’m not sure why. I was having a hard time focusing on anything. I tried again to open my eyes, and then a sharp, bright light broke through and I quickly shut them again. There was a loud beeping noise that was starting to aggravate me, and I wanted it to stop.

  Once more, I slowly tried to open my eyes. It hurt to move them. I managed to open them and there he was—Devin. He was standing over me with his head down and it looked like he was crying.

  Did I die?

  I closed my eyes again because it hurt so bad to keep them open. I could hear Devin’s voice again. Then there was warmth against my lips. There was softness and warmth that I never wanted to end. I tried once more to move my hand, and it moved.

  “I love you, Lilly. I’m so sorry,” I heard him sniffle.

  Yep, I was dead. I was dead and I must’ve done something good in my life because regardless of the severe pain that comes along with death—I was in heaven.

  I opened my eyes again. Pain shot behind them when the light came in. Devin was looking at me, and even though he still had a tear running down his face, a huge smile appeared.

  “Lilly,” he whispered as he wiped the single tear from his cheek.

  I tried to speak. I wanted more than anything to tell him that I loved him, too, but something was stuck in my throat. Then the memories of what happened came crashing over me. I had been in a room and Jenny was being attacked. I tried to scream for Jenny—to let Devin know to go to her, but again there was something lodged in my throat. Then I realized that I wasn’t breathing and I started to panic. Whatever it was in my throat was keeping me from breathing.

  The beeping noise in the background got faster. My arms became easy to move as terror set in. I wasn’t breathing and something was choking me. Jenny was being hurt and Devin didn’t know—he had to stop them. My arms were flailing about as I tried to get up and dislodge whatever it was in my throat at the same time.

  “Calm down, baby. Can I get some help in here?” I heard Devin yell.

  Then he was holding my arms down.

  Why was he holding me down?

  I heard myself make a strange choking noise and then there were nurses followed by a strange man standing right over me.

  “Lilly, I need to you stay calm until I get your breathing tube out, OK? This is going to be uncomfortable.”

  I felt a tugging on my throat and then I gagged harder as so
mething was pulled from my throat. Then I was able to take my first breath. It hurt my entire body to breathe, and instead of screaming from the pain like I wanted to, I heard myself make strange moaning noises.

  “What’s going on? Is she Ok?” I heard Devin saying in the background. “Someone, please tell me what’s going on!”

  “We’re going to give you something for the pain, Lilly.” The strange man was really close to my face.

  I tried to tell him to move. I wanted to tell him to get out of my way. I needed to tell Devin to help Jenny, but as hard as I tried, nothing would come out. Finally, the pain was starting to wear off and I could feel myself becoming even drowsier. I closed my eyes for only a second and when I opened them again the stranger was gone and Devin was standing over me with worry in his eyes.

  Jenny—Devin—help Jenny.

  “Help—Jenny,” I managed to whisper.

  It felt like fire coming out of my throat. I saw the expression on Devin’s face change into a mix of sadness and admiration. Then, when I couldn’t take it anymore, I slept.

  I’m not sure how long I slept, but when I woke up again Devin was sitting beside my bed slumped over sleeping. My vision was still blurry, but I could see well enough to see that he looked so peaceful and yet very exhausted. It looked like he hadn’t shaved in a while. I was looking at a different man, physically and emotionally. I didn’t move, I just sat there half awake and in horrible pain. I didn’t want to take the chance of waking him up. Just sitting there watching him sleep was new.

  I slowly pulled my hand out of his and ran my fingers through his dark hair. He made a soft, childlike noise and my heart ached. After everything that had happened over the last few weeks, all I could think about was how much I loved him. I loved everything about him, and his wonderful family was just the cherry on top.

  He shifted again as I softly ran my fingers through his hair.

  He’d said he loved me.

  I was having a hard time putting the pieces together, but I specifically remember him saying it. Then another memory came and I had to wake him. I shook his shoulder a little.