Quest of Honor

by Ellie St. Clair

  He kissed her eyes, her cheeks, and her mouth, then lowered himself down beside her.

  “Are you all right?” he asked.

  “Perfectly,” she responded, lifting her hand to his cheekbone. “It did hurt a little, but I expected it. And a little pain was certainly worth what came both before and after.”

  He took her fingers in his, then kissed her knuckles. “It’s been a long day, love,” he said. “Sleep now. Good night.”

  She turned, her back to him as her body cuddled into his. As her eyes drifted shut, her lips curled into a smile and she slept better than she had in months, with the stars twinkling above her and Callum’s arms wrapped tightly around her.

  Victoria opened her eyes to chirping. The ground was hard underneath her and her back was pressed up against something warm. Where was she? Was she outside? She rolled over and looked up into the clear blue sky. She kept turning and… oh, right. Callum. It was his chest on her back and she was here because they had just celebrated their wedding night.

  Her cheeks flushed as she thought of the night before. It was so much more than she had ever expected. Despite her inexperience, Callum hadn’t made her feel clumsy or awkward, but beautiful. She looked over at her sleeping husband with a smile on her face, and suddenly found herself staring into his bright blue eyes.

  “Good morning,” he said with a lazy smile.

  “Morning,” she said, her cheeks reddening.

  “Sleep well?” he asked, sending her into an even deeper blush.

  “Yes of course,” she responded.

  His fingers flitted over her stomach. “How do ye feel?”

  “I feel fine.”

  “Not sore?”

  “No, I don’t… I don’t think so.”

  “Want to try again?” he asked, his fingers playing even lower.

  “Here? In the daylight?”

  “No one can see us,” he said, rolling her over and tucking her underneath him.

  Once they had dressed and prepared the horse, Victoria realized she was absolutely starving. Callum had had a few dinner rolls in his bag but it wasn’t enough to appease her growling stomach.

  Callum hoisted her onto the horse. “Well milady, where to?”

  “Oh Callum, I don’t know. Where should we go? What do we do now? In all the stories I’ve read once they reach this part it’s just happily ever after, but you don’t have a home and I don’t have a home — it’s the boardinghouse or Aunt Sarah’s.”

  “Why don’t we try your Aunt Sarah’s first,” he suggested. “She’s probably going to be wanting a chat with ye anyway, what with your stepfather and the Duke invading her living room and you sneaking off like you did. And then the marriage part may be something to mention as well.”

  Victoria’s hands flew to her throat. “That’s right, I forgot! How terrible am I, Aunt Sarah must be worried sick between the visit from them yesterday and my disappearance. Oh Callum how could I do this to her? We must leave at once.”

  “‘Tis all right, lass, word travels fast around these parts. She’ll know you’re all right. Now, away we go.”

  Their ride down through the valley and into the town was short and uneventful. As they neared the town, however, the dream that had been the past night settled into an uncomfortable reality for Victoria. Of course it had been a wonderful interlude and Callum had said he was interested in marriage to her, but what else was he to say? He would never hurt Victoria by telling her her didn’t want to be married once it was done. Beforehand, however, he had told her time and again that he had a life to return to and no interest in taking a wife — particularly an English wife — back with him. He may be kind and generous towards her, but he didn’t love her. As much as her heart ached, did she really want to be married to someone who didn’t love her in return? She would cherish their night together forever, but she wouldn’t hold him to his vows. He had helped her out of this mess, but she wouldn’t make him live in it for the rest of his days, as much as it hurt her to admit to herself.

  Victoria’s pulse raced a little faster when they neared the doctor’s office and Aunt Sarah’s house. Before Callum could even bring the horse to a halt, Sarah was flying out of the door and running down the roadway.

  “Victoria! Oh I was so worried. But then we saw Charles and the Duke being escorted to the train station by Sergeant McLaren and I felt so much better. What happened? And Callum, thank you so much for helping her. Not that Victoria cannot help herself, but I was relieved to know you were there.”

  Victoria had dismounted, and she stopped Sarah’s flow of words by wrapping her in a hug. “I’m fine, Sarah, but thank you so much. I am sorry to have left you worried for so long.”

  “But what happened?”

  Callum began leading the horse towards the small stable behind the house. “We’ll meet you inside Sarah, and tell ye everything.”

  Once inside, they arranged themselves on the sofa and chesterfield. Charlie was with them, sitting close to Sarah in a gesture of support.

  Victoria and Callum looked at one another. He took her hand, which Sarah watched carefully, and told Victoria to go ahead.

  Victoria began the tale from the arrival of the Duke and Charles and her foray out the window — “and Sarah, I must say, you should really add some trellises or something of the sort” — and involuntary shivered when she thought again of the sudden arrival of the Duke and Travers. She shook off what could have been her future and continued.

  Sarah let her finish the story through, though her face turned to one of shock when they came to their time in the church.

  “So… you’re married?”

  “Aye,” Callum answered.

  “Well, for now,” added Victoria.

  “What do you mean, for now?” Sarah asked, frowning.

  “Well, I mean, we haven’t talked about… the future,” said Victoria, cursing her cowardice as she stared at her hands, carefully avoiding his intense gaze. “Callum, I’m not sure if he’s, well, if he’s going to be going home or wanting me to come or stay, or what the arrangement is. We didn’t quite discuss our next steps. He was helping me avoid marriage to the Duke and we didn't think far beyond that.”

  She peeked up at Callum. His eyebrows were knit together and he looked down at her frostily, letting go of her hand to clasp his own together.

  “Victoria,” he said, his words clipped, “to me, marriage is marriage. Did I not make that clear? Or does that not suit ye? Apparently we see this quite differently.”

  “No, Callum, that’s not what I meant, I just didn’t want you to feel trapped…”

  “Now listen, the two of you —” Sarah started, but then Charlie interrupted her.

  “Sarah, perhaps we should let the two of them discuss this,” Charlie said. “Why don’t we walk down to my place?”

  Sarah looked like she was about to argue, but Charlie put a hand on the small of her back and steered her out the door.

  Victoria and Callum looked at one another in the silence that followed.

  “Callum, I didn’t mean to make you angry. I simply do not want you to feel obligated to me. You have a whole life somewhere else and I don’t want you to give it all up for me.”

  “Victoria, did you not understand when I told you what my vows meant? Did last night not mean anything to you? Do you think I would allow us both to move on without another thought towards that?”

  “No, but…”

  “Victoria. When I give my word, I keep it. Please, do not question that. Now, we best determine where we’ll be staying for the time being. I wish I had a place of my own for us to stay tonight but alas it’s the boardinghouse or your room here. I’d think staying with Sarah may be best but we’ll discuss with her.”

  Victoria kept her gaze to the ground.

  “And how long do we stay here? What follows?

  Callum sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. “I do not quite know yet, Victoria. I really do not know. What I do know is I’ve made a
promise to you, but I made one to my father as well. Before anything else, I must find my cousin, and then determine where we go from there.”

  “All right,” said Victoria. He’d saved her from a life she’d dreaded with all her being, and she loved him more than she’d ever loved another. Yes, she longed to stay here in this new country. She had made a vow too, however, and she would go where he went.

  18

  Victoria ate a few pieces of bread and jam and took a bath after Callum left to retrieve some of his things from the boardinghouse. Once she poured herself a hot tea, she felt quite a bit better about everything. Funny how a few comforts can make such a difference. She sat on her bed and began thinking over her life, from the time her father died to Callum sweeping into her world and saving her. While it slightly irked her that, in the end, a man had come to her rescue, somehow it seemed that because it was Callum, she could be agreeable to the situation.

  She was so appreciative of him, and, she realized, she did love him. She had always thought love would come in one sweeping moment when she would gaze on someone and her heart would instantly fill, but now she knew that love was not always like that. Perhaps sometimes it was — she had certainly immediately lusted after Callum even when she hadn’t liked him all that much — but it seemed more often than not that love was really something that grows over time after coming to know someone better and feeling able to trust them and lean on them in the truly necessary times.

  She knew Callum’s destiny was to return to Scotland. She had resolved that she would follow him there, but now that it had become an actuality, she was overwhelmingly apprehensive about it. She had really come to love it here, and had just reconnected with Aunt Sarah. But she was married now and she couldn’t — didn’t want to — leave Callum. So go she would.

  Callum welcomed the reprieve to collect his thoughts as he returned to the boardinghouse to gather up his few belongings. He knew wherever he was going it would include Victoria, but he had seen the panic in her eyes she couldn’t quite hide when she spoke of the future in Scotland. As much as she may say she’d be happy returning across the ocean, he knew she’d found a home here. What was he supposed to do about that? Should he stay? He had responsibilities at home, but he enjoyed the country here, and the freedom to make a life for himself and not take on what was pre-destined for him. As he made clear to Victoria, however, his word was solid and bound him to return to his father as much as it did to keep her by his side.

  Exactly why he’d tried to stay away from her. He sighed.

  He thanked Mrs. Johnson, telling her only that he would no longer be needing the room. She, of course, had already heard of all that had transpired and was not surprised. Callum packed his few belongings in his bag, tidied his room, and strode down the street toward his new lodging. As he climbed the porch steps, he could heard Charlie’s loud laughter from inside, and he smiled to himself. These were good people. He opened the door to find not only Sarah and Charlie but Maisie, Gilbert, and Archie as well. Apparently they had heard of the wedding and came to offer their congratulations. As Callum entered the revelry and chorus of voices, Sarah took him aside and enveloped him in a warm embrace.

  “Callum, I didn’t properly thank you earlier for all you’ve done. Not only have you kept Victoria from Lansingburg, but I know you’ll do well by her. I only wish I could have been there. For the wedding, and for Edward Travers the Third being told off by the two of you and a priest!” Sarah pealed into laughter. “Oh and I’d be more than happy to have the two of you stay with me until you can build a home of your own. What fun it will be.”

  Victoria, overhearing the conversation, turned her face away before Sarah could see the frown. They wouldn’t be building a house here, as soon enough they would be returning to Scotland, where they would live with the McDougall clan. She didn’t know how she was going to tell Sarah she would be leaving so soon after their reunion.

  “Victoria?” Maisie broke her daydream. “I must ask you something. We were so excited to hear of your wedding, and, well, it has us thinking. You see, Gilbert and I,” her cheeks reddened and Gilbert turned the color of his hair, “we are not actually married, and we were hoping that, perhaps, I mean, do you think Father John would marry us too?”

  “Maisie!” exclaimed Victoria. “Of course he would. But I cannot believe you never told me!”

  “We were so judged at home. I am quite beneath Gilbert’s station and he was promised to another. I was a maid in their house, and we fell in love. His father would not allow the marriage, even when I became with child. We decided to leave. Gilbert gave up everything, and traveled here to prepare a home for us. We decided to come as a married couple, but now that we are here, we would like to make our marriage true before God.”

  “How different yet alike our stories are,” murmured Victoria, “running from the past to a new life. I’m sure Father John will marry you. And how exciting — to plan a wedding!”

  Victoria helped the stuttering Maisie and Gilbert announce their plans to the others with a few explanations, and joined in the merriment of the assembled group. Callum smiled at her, pondering the many surprises this new country had to offer.

  That evening as Victoria readied herself for bed, she found a feeling of unease rolling through her stomach. She knew she was supposed to be an ecstatic, excited young bride welcoming her new husband into her bed, but she felt more uncomfortable than anything. It had all happened so fast. One moment she was trying to push away her feelings for Callum and the next she was married to him. Now she was waiting for him in her — their — bedchamber, which was cluttered with his things — a pair of boots beside the door, pants casually thrown over the chair in front of her mirror.

  She felt short of breath and sat down on the pants, with her head in her hands. “What did I do?” she thought to herself. It had been one thing to lay with him outdoors with pine trees for walls and the night sky as a ceiling, but it was quite another to be here with him in her bedroom in Aunt Sarah’s house. Would he expect them to do — that — here?

  She was so preoccupied with her thoughts she didn’t even hear Callum come in. She jumped when she felt his hands on her shoulders. “Callum! I…”

  “Shhh,” he said. “Ye don’t have to say anything.”

  His hands brushed her hair to one side of her face and he began to gently knead the tight knots in her neck and shoulders. Her head rolled from one side to the other. It felt so, so good. She closed her eyes for a few minutes, and when she opened them he was gazing at her in the mirror. He held out his hand to her and said, “Come, get some sleep.”

  She shimmied into the bed and turned to face the window. He slipped in behind her and cupped her into the curve of his body. He put his arm around her, content to hold her for the night. She had looked troubled when he walked in, and he knew it had to do with the rushed and hurried nature of their marriage — the unease at where they stood with one another and what shape their future together would take.

  She was comforted by his quiet presence behind her, but confused as to whether she was supposed to do anything further, or wait for him to take initiative. Or did he just want to sleep? Or did he not want her anymore after their first time together? Or —

  “Victoria. I can hear you thinking,” Callum said in a soft voice. “Relax.”

  Relax? She thought. What did that mean? Relax so they could make love again, or relax so they could sleep?

  “Would you like to talk about what’s bothering you?” he asked as he felt the tension in her body remain.

  “What are we supposed to do now?

  “Do?”

  “Yes. Do we, do… what we did last night? Or do we wait awhile between? Do you not want to do it anymore?”

  “Victoria,” he said with a soft, low chuckle. “Of course I want to make love to you again. I think I will always want to make love to you. However, a lot has happened in the last few days and I don’t want to push you into doing anything you do not want
to do.”

  “I think I do want to. As long as we’re quiet. Aunt Sarah is really just down the hall.”

  “I can do quiet if you can.”

  Still spooning her from behind, Callum tweaked her nipple with his fingers, rolling it gently through her nightgown until she lightly whimpered. When she seemed to want more, he grasped the garment from the bottom and lifted it over her head so she was naked against him. He softly stroked the underside of her breast, then began to graze her ribcage up and down with his fingertips. He inched his way down to the center of her and began to stroke her most sensitive spot until she was pressing into his hand with need.

  He put slight pressure on her hip to turn her around, and pushed his fingers into the hair that had curled around her face earlier when he looked at her in the mirror. He kissed her long and deep, before turning her onto her back and framing her face with his arms. He trailed soft kisses down her body, then entered into her with tenderness. He covered her mouth with his to keep her from crying out as he began rocking into her. Her legs wrapped around his hips as she moved with him. The bed gave a little rock and bang, and she giggled as he cursed under his breath.

  They moved together in harmony, building to a crescendo until she found her release, urging him into his own.

  Afterward, as they lay together once more, Victoria no longer had any thoughts running through her head as she fell into a deep sleep.

  19

  The next week flew by with Victoria and Sarah splitting their time between working with the doctor and preparing for Maisie and Gilbert’s wedding. Callum spent his days tracking down leads with Angus, and his nights teaching Victoria the pleasures of marriage. They laughed and immensely enjoyed each other, but there was still an invisible wall between them, one made of unspoken feelings and apprehension of the future.

  Callum was now sure the three Scotsmen were responsible for Gregor’s disappearance, but he remained hopeful his cousin was alive. Mrs. Johnson had made a comment about the amount of food the men ate, and Charlie had confirmed they bought an odd arrangement of supplies some time ago including rope and sheets — which men living at a boardinghouse should not need. They claimed it was for when they were on the trail hunting.