Because of the List

by Amy Knupp

  “You sure?” he forced out.

  She answered by kissing her way along his jaw back to his lips, teasing them briefly before kissing him full on. She pressed her tongue inside his mouth confidently, as if knowing she was about two seconds from being able to get anything and everything she wanted from him. “Absolutely sure,” she said between kisses.

  That was all the confirmation he needed and then some. He walked toward the deck with her wrapped around him, kissing her, nearly stumbling over a bump in the ground. Laughing with her, their breath mixing, their bodies twisting together. He made his way up the deck steps, oblivious to any pain in his leg—the last body part he was concerned with just now.

  He carried her to her room, to her bed, set her down as he eased on top of her. Something moved on the mattress to the left of them, startling the crap out of him.

  “Elanor,” Taylor said, laughing.

  He heard the feline race out of the room and down the hall then quickly forgot about it.

  Taylor insistently pulled him to her by the neck. Devoured his lips with hers. God, this woman made him wild with need.

  She pulled his shirt out of his pants, unbuttoned it. Slid it off him one arm at a time. She ran her hands over his bare chest, then wound them around him and again pulled him to her.

  He needed to feel her flesh, taste her skin. He sat up in an awkward straddle, his left leg angled out slightly since he still couldn’t support a lot of weight in that position. His concern was fleeting, though, as he took Taylor’s tank off her. She arched upward so he could unfasten her bra and she tossed it over the side of the bed.

  Faint light came in around the edges of the curtains, and he feasted his eyes on her milky skin, her perfect breasts. He ran his hands over every inch of her before readjusting his leg and bending over her to taste her.

  He took her breast into his mouth, suckled her, teased her. First one, then the other, until Taylor pressed her lower body insistently into him. He peeled her pants and panties down her legs as one and threw them aside.

  The sight of her, naked in the moonlight, her dark red hair splayed on her pillow—holy hell, he could never get enough of her. He pressed his lips to her navel and kissed his way slowly up her body, then shifted slightly to the side, brushing his fingers along her inner thigh. When he grazed her core, she eagerly lifted into his touch and moaned.

  “You blow my mind,” he whispered, nipping and kissing her ear, all the while still exploring her. Learning what drove her wild. He watched her eyes meet his, then flutter shut as she let his name slip out.

  TAYLOR HAD NEVER RESPONDED so wildly to a man’s touch. Not that she had much experience, but instinct told her that had nothing to do with her reaction.

  She should feel shyer, try to hold herself back, but this was Alex. He did amazing things to her and she was just going to go with it. As if she had any choice—in a good way. He touched her body as if he knew all the secrets of it, ones she’d never realized herself.

  When he kissed his way down, to her navel and then farther still, her eyes popped open. The instant his tongue took the place of his fingers, heat shot through her, had her dropping every last ounce of inhibition. She clung to him, encouraged him, begged him with her movements and her words. She didn’t know this woman he’d unleashed and could no longer find her inner shy girl. No longer cared. Just needed.

  He carried her to the edge with his tongue, repeatedly, until she thought she would die. Then at last, release. Her body exploded and she couldn’t hold on to a single thought.

  Slowly she regained the use of her brain, aware of Alex caressing her everywhere, his hands and mouth feasting on every inch of her skin. It occurred to her she’d been nothing but selfish. He’d made her crave him so much, need him more than air, and he hadn’t even gotten his pants off yet.

  With a self-conscious grin, Taylor reached for his fly.

  “These are supposed to be off,” she said apologetically, unzipping his pants, sliding them down.

  She rose partway to better reach him, but instead of helping her, he took her nipple in his mouth again. “You have this way of distracting me.”

  A sexy deep laugh came from his throat, vibrated on her breast. “Good.”

  She couldn’t reach any farther to get his pants off and he made no move to help her.

  “Don’t you want…?”

  “Taylor, I want. Like you wouldn’t believe.” He worked his way to her other breast. “I’m a patient man.”

  He finally shifted to the side and quickly dispensed with his pants, then resumed where he’d left off. His hardness jutted heavily against her leg. She touched him and he sucked in his breath, making her savor this unfamiliar power.

  A few seconds later, he reached for her hand. “Going to make me lose it.” He wove their fingers together and kissed her gently, as if it was their first kiss.

  “Taylor…” His voice sounded strained.

  “Yes?” Had she messed something up?

  “I don’t have protection…”

  She grinned, relieved. “It’s okay. I’m on the pill. For medical reasons.” She didn’t know why she felt the need to explain that now.

  “I don’t care what reasons,” he said, kissing her urgently again. “I’m just thankful.”

  He wasted no time in showing her exactly that.

  ALEX ACKNOWLEDGED THAT NOT being with a woman for going on a year meant that almost any sex would be good. But though he made a point of not thinking too much, a nagging alarm in the far reaches of his mind told him this was more than simply a physical release. This was Taylor.

  The thought disappeared as the incredible things this woman was making him feel took over. He’d said just one night, but love of God, he never wanted this to stop. He couldn’t get enough of her lips, her breasts, her skin. The sounds she made, the little things she said drove him wild.

  Yet again, her uninhibited passion blew his mind. Well, okay, everything about her was blowing his mind. She was every bit right there with him, as if they’d had years of being together.

  He held on for as long as he could, but she did him in when she uttered his name repeatedly, and he came along with her.

  He kissed the side of her porcelain face, their hearts thundering together. He tried to catch his breath. Eventually, he registered the coolness of the air on their sweaty bodies. They hadn’t even managed to pull back the covers.

  “I had no idea you were capable of that, Taylor.”

  “Neither did I.” She sounded genuinely surprised and a little self-conscious.

  Chuckling, he shifted to the side, pulling her with him. He caressed her tousled hair. Drank in her scent. It took several minutes for him to register the throbbing in his bad leg, but he didn’t give it a second thought. Thinking was overrated. Dangerous, in fact. Because he knew if he thought too hard about anything right now, it could ruin the moment. And this moment was too damn good to mess with.

  TAYLOR KNEW BEFORE SHE opened her eyes the next morning, before she even stirred, that he was gone.

  She lay without moving. Refused to open her eyes. Maybe she could go back to sleep. Put off the inevitable. Ignore reality.

  If she tried hard enough, she could imagine his body beside her, so close she could feel his heat.

  Who was she kidding?

  She rolled onto her back, took inventory of her sore muscles as she stretched. Savored that soreness in seldom-used places because it proved it had been real. Alex had been here, in her bed, doing all kinds of lovely, wicked things to her body throughout the night. She’d practically had more orgasms in the past eight hours than she’d had in her entire life.

  Warmth spread through her as she allowed herself to remember in slow, minute detail everything he’d done to her. Everything she’d brazenly done to him. Maybe she’d found the courage because she knew it was one night only, the single chance she had with him, and she’d needed it to be as spectacularly memorable as possible. Maybe she’d thought that by
letting go of her inhibitions he’d find spending the night with her hard to resist, be tempted to pull a repeat.

  Or maybe just because it was him, and that’s how he affected her. Alex Worth made her lose her everloving mind.

  The warmth morphed into an embarrassed flush as she shifted back to her side, away from where Alex had slept. She drew her knees into her chest, hugged the tangled blankets to her, pulling them securely around her chin. The motion did nothing to combat the sensation of utter nakedness. So much more than her body had been exposed.

  She leaped out of bed, taking the top blanket with her and securing it at her chest with one hand while she picked out clean clothes to put on. In the bathroom, she turned the shower on and dropped the blanket. She stared at herself in the mirror, at her face, her body. Wondered what Alex had seen when he’d looked at her—and, oh, lord, he’d had ample opportunity to look. Her cheeks reddened as she studied herself. Had he seen her as a lover, as a woman who could fulfill his needs—at least for one night? Or had he seen Scarlet, his friend’s younger sister, who needed protection, guidance?

  How much of last night had been out of sympathy or some gallant attempt to build her self-esteem?

  Shaking her head and turning away from the mirror, she clenched her jaw defiantly, battling her own doubts.

  She’d known going into this that it was just sex. She was the idiot who was trying to bring feelings into it, trying to make it something it wasn’t.

  It was just sex.

  Exceptional, toe-curling sex, granted.

  Taylor distractedly stepped into the stream of hot water. The trick would be not to get more hung up because of the sex. She’d been with Alex. She’d adored every second of it. But it still came down to the fact that he was not her list man. Not even close.

  The best way to stop thinking about Alex was to find someone else to occupy her time and her brain. That would never happen if she spent every evening in this mausoleum-like house.

  It was time to step up the mission. Time for a social life, even if she had to fake it.

  Crashing professional meetings, hitting happy hour with coworkers…at this point she’d resort to church and the grocery store if she had to.

  All she needed was one decent man who didn’t have a hang-up on an ex, didn’t have a video-game obsession, and did meet her simple list of qualifications.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  FALLING ASLEEP ON the ancient, more-for-looks-than-comfort sofa in the living room was a bad move, but it had nothing on what he’d done last night.

  Alex sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, cussing up a storm. A damn cot on the army base was more comfortable.

  He’d made the walk of shame home just before daybreak, wearing suit pants, a dress shirt and dress shoes so uncomfortable he’d been tempted to toss them in the trash upon arrival. His suit jacket was still in Taylor’s car and could stay there for the next decade as far as he was concerned. He dreaded seeing her again.

  She’d agreed to a one-night thing and that had sounded damn good at the time, when he had her in his arms, her hungry lips on his. But reality the morning after was a different story. Taylor wasn’t a one-night type of woman, regardless of what she’d said, and he never should’ve treated her like one. But what the hell could he do now?

  He’d blown it.

  The door to the garage slammed shut and he heard whirlwind Vienna sweep into the kitchen. He stood, intending to escape to his bedroom, but his damn leg locked up and pain shot through it. Apparently dancing, sex and walking three miles in shoes with support slightly less than cardboard had taken a toll on his recuperating muscles.

  He sat back down on the couch from hell, stretching his leg out in front of him and massaging his thigh.

  “You’re awake.” Vienna poked her head around the arched doorway between the kitchen and dining room, which gave her a direct view of him. She disappeared for a second, then carried a fast-food sack into the living room. “I brought you lunch.”

  She sat across from him on an overstuffed chair, took out a cheeseburger and fries for herself, then passed the sack to him.

  “Thanks,” he said, taking out a double and fries. “What’s the occasion?”

  “Looked like you had a hard night. What time did you sneak in?”

  “I didn’t sneak in.” Much.

  “Alex, I was up till four-thirty studying. You weren’t home when I went to bed.”

  “Last I checked I didn’t have a curfew.”

  She eyed him knowingly, an annoying grin tugging at her mouth. “I hope it was good. You sure got decked out for her, whoever she is.”

  “What are you studying for?” He took a large bite of burger and chewed, not tasting it. Not listening to her answer.

  His sister would have a field day if she found out where he’d spent the night. It was Taylor’s choice whether she fessed up or not, but he wasn’t about to discuss his mistake.

  Hell of a mind-blowing “mistake” it was, too. But nope, not going down that road. Couldn’t afford to recall details of Taylor, not now, not ever.

  “…as if you’re even paying attention,” Vienna said, and damn if he couldn’t recall a thing she’d been yammering on about.

  “Sorry. I’m sure you’ll ace your test.” If she had a test. “Have you talked to Taylor lately?”

  “Not for a few days. She’s been preoccupied with Joel. Seems like he makes her happy.”

  “Yeah, uh, you should call her today. She could probably use a friend.”

  “What’s wrong?” Vienna scowled. “Did something happen with him?”

  “I’ll let her tell you.”

  “If he turns out to be a louse…”

  “That’s a positive.”

  She swore and Alex nodded in agreement. The women in this family had always been able to hold their own when it came to foul language. He couldn’t think of a more deserving recipient than that scrawny punk.

  “I’ll head over there in a few. When did you see her?” Vienna asked before shoving fries into her mouth.

  “Went over to do some work yesterday morning.” All true. All she was getting from him.

  “Speaking of louses…lice? Whatever. Marshall needs a come-to-Jesus talk from you.”

  “What’d he do now?” He’d barely seen his brother for a week. They held different hours these days—Alex those of a working man, and Marshall a drunkard’s. Twice last week Alex had managed to take his brother’s car to Chicago and back for therapy without Marshall even realizing it.

  “Have you been in the basement lately?”

  “Haven’t had any reason to.” Marshall had turned the finished lower level into his domain since moving home.

  “It smells like a distillery and looks even worse.”

  “So what are you waiting for? Tell him to clean it up.”

  “I tried. He won’t listen to me. I’m his baby sister—what the hell do I know?”

  “Good question.”

  She crumpled her burger wrapper and nailed him with it.

  “Mom’s tried to talk to him and he basically told her where to go.”

  “Classy.” Alex stood, slowly this time, stuffed his trash into the sack and held out his hand for his sister’s empty fry container. “I’ll give it a go but he’s got no reason to listen to me, either.”

  “Wrong. You’re a good man, army guy.” She grabbed the bag from him and headed to the kitchen. “See you later.”

  A good man. Like hell. A good man wouldn’t be weak enough to give in to Taylor. He scoffed at himself. Give in made it sound as though she’d had to convince him to take her to bed.

  Shaking his head, he paced toward the fireplace, braced his forearm on it and rested his head on his arm. Tried to figure out what he would say to Taylor when he saw her again. It’d be a lot easier if he didn’t have to see her, but that would be the coward’s way out. After their conversation in her backyard about her insecurity, he knew exactly how she would see it if he cut her off.
She’d take it as confirmation that her self-doubt was justified. It’d be a challenge finding the right balance, though. He couldn’t give her hope that they could be anything more than friends, but neither could he make her believe he regretted what had happened between them. Though sleeping with her had been a big-time screwup and he was a lowlife for letting it happen, he couldn’t honestly say he regretted it. How could a guy regret some of the best sex he’d ever had? Yep, he was a pathetic bastard through and through.

  Jaw clenched so tight it ached, Alex lifted his head and stared at the cluster of framed photos his mom used to decorate the mantel. It took several seconds before he registered what was directly in front of his face. A picture of him and Quinn, taken the day before they’d left for basic training. They were skinny, young guys. Naive. Ready to take on the world.

  So damn full of life.

  The sudden tightening in his chest nearly choked him.

  “So freaking sorry, man,” he whispered.

  He flipped the frame forward and set it facedown on the mantel, unable to look his best friend in the face.

  TAYLOR’S MOTIVATION to put her house on the market had been lagging until now. Today, the longest day of her life, the house seemed to have come alive and actively taunted her with reminders of Alex at every turn.

  Evidence of him and his work existed in almost every room. The trim and countertop in the kitchen. Ceiling and doors in the basement. Closet doors in her room and light fixtures in her bathroom. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. She couldn’t find peace today, no matter where she tried to settle.

  She’d ended up doing what she did best—starting a new list. A complex, multicolumned one that would take up a whole notebook page.

  While the major work was just about done, with the exception of the hall bath, there was deep cleaning, decluttering, and prepacking to do before she called a Realtor. Lots of busywork.

  Busywork was good.

  A knock came at the door and she halted midword in her scrawling. Her first thought was Alex, but she realized before her heart even started beating again that he’d be the last person to show up on her front steps. He’d shown her exactly where he stood by sneaking out this morning.