Counting One's Blessings

by William Shawcross

  7 November 1953 to Queen Elizabeth II

  Clarence House

  11 p.m.

  My Darling Lilibet,

  I have just got back here, and I must write one line to tell you why I had to rush away when you produced a statue of Papa.* It was because I knew that I was going to burst into floods of tears, and I am sure that you realized this & understood.

  I could not look at a statue of my beloved husband in front of all those people.

  I did not know that a model had been done, or that a site had been chosen, & it was such a shock, & I felt terribly upset.

  I must send this line to explain, tho’ I am sure you know how I felt darling,

  Your very loving Mummy

  11 November 1953 to Sir Alan Lascelles

  Clarence House

  My dear Tommy

  Here are volumes four and five of the King’s note books.

  When reading them, memories become almost too vivid to bear, and one feels at once transported back to those days when everything went against us, & yet one was convinced that in the end we would win.

  You will remember that the King kept these notes groaningly for reference & not as a Diary.

  Yours very sincerely

  Elizabeth R

  23 November 1953 to Queen Elizabeth II

  Clarence House

  My Darling Lilibet,

  I have tried to telephone you several times today, but you have always been engaged which I quite understand. It must be a ghastly day for you,* poor darling.

  I wanted to know 2 things. One, if the children come here in Feb:, would it be possible for my lady in waiting to sleep at BP?

  Also, what have you done with Papa’s letter.

  Also, would you tell Nanna that they are to come here later? I am thinking of good nights etc.

  Your v. loving

  Mummy

  14 December 1953 to Queen Elizabeth II

  Clarence House

  My Darling Lilibet,

  This brings you all my most loving wishes for a happy Xmas. It won’t seem at all the same here with you & Philip away, but we shall all be thinking of you very much.

  I am sending you a little Fabergé clock which I do hope will be useful. I thought it such a pretty clean colour, like strawberry ice, & as Fabergé things are now becoming scarce, I thought you might like it for your table. Anyway, it brings you a great deal of love.

  The children are very well. They were at R. Lodge for the weekend, & we took a great deal of exercise! They adore the pony at Windsor, & rush down there in the mornings, & ride, & it seems a great success. Charles appears to enjoy himself hugely, & so does Anne. On Sunday afternoon I took them to the Farm. Thank God for the Pellys!* There are so many wet & dangerous things to avoid. Having unpacked some of the eggs which had just been carefully packed, we went into the chicken runs, where Anne found a large & heavy tin food container hung by a small bit of iron, & swung it about until it nearly fell on her head. After picking up some eggs the children rushed ahead into the cow shed, & turned on every tap with great abandon!

  Having scooped Charles down from some tottery straw bales, which threatened to fall & engulf him at any moment, we then had a dear little cat hunt by some dogs who I always thought of as quite nice Corgis and Sealyhams. But not when a cat appears! Ravening wolves & blood-thirsty tigers aren’t in it!

  Having extricated the children from among the calves, they unfortunately saw some farm machines & had to climb up on each one. Gleaming knives & rusty sharp prongs abounded, and of course their joy was great when a cart full of manure was found!

  They then saw a pram with a baby in it, and it was with the greatest difficulty that I could persuade them to leave it. They cooed and patted its hands and leant lovingly & heavily over it!

  ‘Mummy has promised us a baby’ I heard Charles saying proudly to Mr Pelly, as they walked away. Being a sailor, he took the information quite calmly. Having leant over the pigs, & fed the cows etc etc etc, we came home – the children fresh as paint, & me? – well, perhaps well exercised is the word!

  But they have been so good, and talk about you & Philip a lot. ‘My papa says’ etc. The weather has remained very warm & still & grey, almost too hot for tweeds!

  M’as tu vu† is well, & runs again on Saturday at Hurst Park. Peter [Cazalet] doesn’t think he will win, as he has to give Miss Paget’s Shock Tactics a lot of weight. But it will be interesting to see how he does.

  He ran very well at Lingfield, and pulled out a nice little bit of speed after the last fence. It was very exciting, & absolutely extraordinary to see a horse win again!

  I have been terribly busy since you left, and seem to have done a great many very boring things!

  Fergie* & Betty came for the night last weekend. What a nice person he is, so good & kind to his mother. I am thankful that he is going to stay on in the Scots Guards, and he is blissfully happy too.

  […]

  I do so hope & pray that you won’t get too overtired in N.Z. & Australia. I know the deadly strain all too well – it’s the length of it all that kills. If only you can get to bed in good time.

  I can’t tell you how much I miss you darling, it’s awful having nobody to talk to about things – I can talk to Margaret up to a degree, but I see very little of her.

  This I am very glad of for her sake, as she has been lunching & dining out a great deal. Even a lunch with Billy Wallace!† I felt quite cheered up.

  I will write again very soon, & in the meantime all my love. I think of you so many times a day.

  Your very loving Mummy

  28 December 1953 to Queen Elizabeth II

  Sandringham

  My Darling Lilibet,

  First of all, I want to thank you and Philip for the lovely plates, which will join the others and which have given me great pleasure. They are beautiful & such a wonderful surprise when I found them on my table. It was too angelic of you both darling.

  The children all enjoyed Xmas, it passed off without any major colds or rows! There was the usual tense excitement after tea, with Charles & Anne galloping down the passage to the Ballroom, being brought up short at the door by Marrington with his hand on the switch, & then the ‘oh’s’ & ‘ah’s’ & ‘isn’t it BEAUTIFUL’ when the Tree was revealed. They then all rushed at their tables, & settled down very happily to undoing parcels etc. […]

  On Xmas we all went to Holy Communion at 8.45, & then all the children came to the 11 Service. Anne behaved like an angel, & the only time her voice rang out was ordering Nanna to ‘kneel down properly’. They adored putting a coin in the bag, & then at the end when we all filed out, Charles took up a position at the altar rails & stared at Mr Anderson. He would have stayed there for hours I believe!

  In the afternoon we listened to your broadcast which came through remarkably well, and everyone was delighted with it. Then I gave the presents for you [to the staff], there was one excellent moment when Ainslie announced ‘Mr Smith, estate blicklayer’, which was the signal for hearty laughter & jolly good jokes about blicks!

  On Sunday Marina & Eddy & Alexandra & Michael & Olga & Paul & Elizabeth arrived!* So I have had to move into Granny’s room, which is very nice & light, but very cold. There is no heating or power points in her rooms. Would you agree to me telling Marrington to fix a radiator & put in power plugs when I move out? One really must have them nowadays, & also a fixed basin in the bathroom. If all these things are done, I think that you will like the rooms, & it will give Philip a sitting room too. I believe that Papa had pipes laid in Granny’s rooms all ready for the radiators to go in – she had a thing about heating, as we know to our costs.

  It seems very odd to look out of the window and not one pheasant on the lawn! Such a thing can’t have happened for many generations.

  The horses seem very well – Birdcage Walk, Contango & Rodney are down at Appleton, & the 3 two year olds & Devon Loch are at Wolferton.

  By the way darling, I got a large hotel bill for
their stay at Wolferton last year, which was a bit of a surprise on the top of pretty big bills for food etc, which naturally is an understood thing. But I wondered whether you knew about the weekly rent down at Wolferton, & if it is the usual thing – I had never thought of it I must say! Anyway it’s all paid up to now, & of course I want to do the right thing – I just hadn’t heard of that one I suppose.

  Manicou is looking too glorious for words – he really is a model horse, & has quite recovered his bloom. But no foals I fear! What do you think one ought to do. Isn’t it all sad & difficult. Bradly thinks that Devon Loch might get sound.

  I thought that I would go over to Newmarket one day, Cecil [Boyd-Rochfort] kindly asked me to go to lunch. I hear that Rohays [his wife] is much better.

  The servants’ Balls went very well, but of course you & Philip were greatly missed. The one at Windsor was, as usual, the nicest (for me) & I had a waltz with Lord Freyberg* […] which was very exciting as it was the dance when balloons descend from the roof. […]

  The children are so well & being very good. This is such a good place for them, and I hope to stay here till the very beginning of February.

  Dermot wouldn’t send the little Windsor pony, in case it was ruined here, but the Scotts have lent the tiny pony again, so I hope it will be a success.

  I did feel so deeply for you over that awful train accident. It complicates everything so much, & in a small country like NZ must make a great impact.†

  I follow your journey with such deep interest, & being able to visualise so much is a great help. I remember Fiji & Jamaica so vividly, also Auckland & Rotorua etc.

  Lots of love darling, from your very loving Mummy

  10 January 1954 to Queen Elizabeth II

  Sandringham

  My Darling Lilibet

  The children are very well. I took them to church this morning, and they went out during the hymn before the sermon. As they got to the end of the pew, & Mabel was opening the door, Anne spotted Mr Anderson advancing up the aisle to lead the Bishop to the pulpit. She bounded up to him, & very politely shook hands & said goodbye! It really was rather delicious, & Mr Anderson, tho’ surprised, behaved very well, & bowed politely. The Bishop unfortunately was bowed in prayer, so missed the charming interruption to the service!

  Charles has started his lessons with Miss Peebles [governess], & seems to be happy with her. She comes to breakfast & lunch, & seems very nice ‘about the house’.

  The great game in the evening is dumb crambo. It is a great success, & they adore acting, tho’ the rhyming is slightly vague. Something to rhyme with ‘stop’ – ‘pheasant’ said Charles triumphantly – that’s the way it was played at first, but now they are getting much better at rhyming.

  Hugh & Fortune [Grafton]* have been here this week which was very nice, I do so like them both.

  I have cut everything down so as to have as few servants as possible, so I hope the expense for you will be quite small. It is quite easy really, & as there is no shooting, no parties. Charles Moore† was here this week, & he & Hugh & Arthur went out several times after woodcock & got some old cocks which Dodd wanted, & enjoyed it tremendously. Do you remember what fun we used to have, beating out the garden & ponds ourselves? There is nothing there this year, tho’ I see quite a lot of water hens out of my window!

  The weather has been very good on the whole, a few days of cold & frost which was a very good thing.

  Margaret & I went over to lunch with Cecil on Tuesday, & saw the horses out. Aureole* looked wonderfully well, & seems to have thickened out tremendously. […]

  Dear Manicou looks such a picture. I wonder if he would do for someone kind to ride out with horses at Newmarket. Hobbs has Finure of course, & Murless has Red April, but they must be getting on, & perhaps in a year or two they would like a beautiful ride like Manicou. He has got something special, hasn’t he darling? I don’t know what it is, but even Charles feels it! […]

  We miss you so much, and do wish that May wasn’t so far away.

  We follow your journeys very well by the papers, and some good news reels. How well one knows the procedure, & how monotonous it becomes. But one simply can’t think of any other way of letting people see the sovereign, than getting up on a dais & driving round a town. It’s really all they want, & with fine weather I am sure that everyone has a good chance of a look. I do hope that you are keeping well, & getting enough sleep. How is Philip – men are sometimes even more exhausted than women – I do trust that he isn’t tired. It makes just the whole difference in the world doing things together – one gets such moral support, doesn’t one. I find that doing things without Papa nearly kills one – he was so wonderful. And if one had to go off on one’s own, there was always the nice feeling of arriving home, & rushing to his room to say ‘I’m back’, & he was always interested in everything.

  I believe that was why he was such a good King, because no detail was too small for him, & he minded what happened to people – Queen Victoria had it very strongly, & I think that you have that gift too. […]

  It’s rather sad to think of Tommy & Joey & Ulick all gone in a year. […] I am sure that Michael [Adeane] will be a very good successor to Tommy, tho’ I suspect that the latter was probably the best private secretary for a hundred years. Don’t you think so?

  With lots of love darling, I don’t know if you will ever wade through this letter, from your very loving

  Mummy

  10 March 1954 to Queen Elizabeth II

  Clarence House

  My Darling Lilibet

  Your ‘family’ letters have been a great success, and I have kept them together so that you can enjoy them in a year or so!

  I went to Cheltenham last week – staying with the Spicers, and we had some very good racing. M’as tu vu started off jumping very well, but about half way round he suddenly stopped, and Francis pulled him up.

  It was rather disappointing, but I wasn’t surprised, as he did not do very well in his last races. Francis* said that he hit a fence rather hard, & then he felt him going lame – so very sensibly pulled up. Peter, I know, likes the horse, but if he doesn’t run well at Lingfield I would like to take him out of the National. How disappointing racing can be, but also what fun! There is always hope. And I do like horses!!

  Darling, I do hope that you aren’t too tired. I remember so well how tired we got in 1927 – one just gets through and yet, thank goodness, one is uplifted & carried on by the wonderful loyalty & affection.

  And one feels again, how moving & humble-making, that one can be the vehicle through which this love for country can be expressed. Don’t you feel that? When one is exhausted, & maddened by the idiocy of everybody, one is sustained by the feeling that people need a sovereign – it can be a help to know that. […]

  Lots of love darling – I will write again soon. I have been desperately busy – from morning to night, and am feeling really fairly well. Considering that life without Papa is a perpetual strain & anguish, I am really quite O.K.

  Your very loving

  Mummy

  28 March 1954 to Queen Elizabeth II

  The Royal Lodge

  My Darling Lilibet

  It was so lovely talking to you today, and I always wish that I could tell you more interesting things when we talk! But I am so anxious to hear how you & Philip are, & the children so eager to talk, too, & Margaret poised to snatch the receiver, so that I become bemused and forget all the exciting & boring news I have to tell you!

  I can hardly believe that you will be home in just over six weeks. I do hope that you will have good weather on the homeward trip, so that you can relax & rest a bit. I believe that you are going to Balmoral shortly after you arrive, that ought to be very agreeable & comforting.

  The children seem very well, and I feel sure that Miss Peebles is a success. Do you remember what you felt like at 5 or 6 years old? I think that one doesn’t remember enough, and one really felt very deeply about things, and you may find Charles much
older in a very endearing way. He is intensely affectionate & loves you & Philip most tenderly – I am sure that he will always be a very loving & enjoyable child to you both.

  I have heard of a very good music teacher (tell you when you get home). […]

  To change the subject – The Pactolus 2 year old went very lame – Did I tell you? Anyway I got hold of Strong, & he goes down at weekends to treat him. He has a badly wasted muscle behind his shoulder, isn’t it sickening – but I do hope that he will become sound again. He is easily my favourite, the most charming and beautiful horse, with a lovely disposition – he really is too nice for words. […]

  Wasn’t he nice, & wasn’t he a B—E.

  I feel very anxious about the polio in Western Australia, & shall be very glad when you are all safely out of [reach of] any possible infection. […]

  I took Anne to Chapel this morning. She was too angelic, and sang the psalm & hymns in a very penetrating voice, quite tuneless & extremely loud, & reduced everyone to happy laughter. She was absolutely natural, & luckily never looked at Mr Gillingham who was enjoying it all immensely, and she really was too heavenly for words. She is very intelligent, & very sensitive & very funny!

  I have been without a Comptroller again! Adam Gordon* came into my room a month ago, & had to suddenly sit down, & said he felt very giddy. I opened the window, & rushed him home to bed, & the doctor found that he had ‘vertigo’ – that balance in your ear that can go wrong, so that you can’t stand up properly. Isn’t it sad for him, poor little man. He has gone to the South of France to recover.

  Well, darling, I need not say how wonderful I think you & Philip have been, & are – it is a great source of pride & joy to your very very loving

  Mummy

  26 August 1954 to Queen Elizabeth II

  Birkhall

  My Darling Lilibet

  It was so delicious being at dear Balmoral once again, and it worked its usual magic on me, and I felt much calmer and better by the time I had to leave.

  You know how much I adore being with you & the children, and without exaggeration, these moments are my only happiness in this curious grey unreal world that I live in without Papa. That sounds rather groaning, but it’s true, and therefore those days with you all were so wonderful, and do help to give me courage. It’s very funny, that sometimes one feels so frightened – isn’t it silly.