Don't Close Your Eyes

by Hilary Storm

Watching him rise to meet my face again is very real. His eyes are dark and hungry. I love having this effect on him. Our lips meet and we fight for air during the kiss that eventually leads to ice cold water. It's nice to have someone who likes to spend time kissing.

  Once the water turns cold, we step out and towel dry. I watch him mess his hair up with the towel and smile at the thought of running my hands through it soon. We move into the bedroom and both climb into the bed. I wait for him to begin to push this further, but he doesn't. He pulls me in, wraps me up and we both fall asleep.

  I wake in his arms. This is progress. Of course, Livi, it's not like he can leave his own house. My stomach is growling and I'm sure he'll be hungry once he wakes up. I slide out of bed, being careful not to wake him. His closet is full of T-shirts, so I throw one on. It's probably not a good idea to cook breakfast naked. I grab my phone so I can call Michael.

  Quietly, I slip out of the room and down the hall. His house is much larger than I remember from last night, of course I didn't get a chance to get the tour since I passed out on his couch. I pass a few doors in the hall that are all open, noticing he has quite a few extra bedrooms for guests. I'm very intrigued with some of the decor he has throughout each of the rooms. The last door on the right is closed, so I turn the knob to take a peek.

  This room is absolutely breathtaking. There are books from floor to ceiling on the one wall and a huge ornate desk in the center. The other walls are filled with more art. My phone vibrates as I begin to really look at each piece. It's Michael, who else would it be since Liam is here?

  "Olivia, where are you?"

  "I'm fine, Michael."

  "I don't think you understand how ridiculous you're being. There are insane people and I worry about you. Hell, right now we have two women missing and you probably have no idea since you don't watch the news anymore."

  "Michael, you're overreacting. I'm at Liam's. I stayed the night with him and I'm getting ready to make breakfast." I start to move through the room, admiring some of the novels on the shelves.

  "Is it too much to ask that you let me know when you're going out and with whom?" I'm not really listening to him rant anymore. I begin to run my fingers around the edge of the desk and the gorgeous woodwork has my interest. Walking around the massive desk, I try again to calm him down.

  "Look, Michael, I'm seeing Liam now. I don't go anywhere else. He's not a criminal and you're going to have to let me have some space on this." I let my fingers travel over the drawer handle, sliding it open as he continues to nag at me.

  I'm confused by a picture of me that’s on top of a folder. I pull the picture out for a closer look. How did he get a picture of me during my signing?

  "Olivia, I need to meet him. What's his address?" I slide the drawer open further and lift the top of the folder. There are more pictures of me. I pull a few out and my confusion only gets worse. There's one of me at the airport, one of me getting my hair colored and one of me in my front yard. What the hell?

  I reach in to pull the whole folder out, not responding to Michael due to the shock of what my eyes begin to see. Pictures of me in my house fill my hands. I'm just doing everyday things in my own living space and someone is invading my privacy by taking pictures. My shock only gets worse when I see one in my bedroom.

  "Olivia. Did you hang up on me?" I set the folder on the desk and spread out all the pictures. My eyes move to the pictures where I'm changing or soaking in the bathtub and horror takes over my thoughts. How did he get these pictures?

  The pictures range from right after James's death all the way up until this week. I begin to feel violated and my instinct is to scream, but I know he'll hear me.

  I grab the phone tight and start to panic. "Michael, you have to come get me, NOW. Come right now." My voice is hysterical and my breathing is out of control. I can't think straight and I'm overwhelmed with repulsion that I just spent the night with someone who would do this to me. Why would he have all of these pictures?

  I'm startled by a sound across the room and my insides scream in terror the second I see Liam standing in the doorway.

  "What's the address? OLIVIA, TELL ME THE ADDRESS!"

  Chapter Eleven

  My body is frozen. The look on Liam's face scares me so much that I can't make a sound. I need to tell Michael where I'm at, but my mind can't even process the address.

  Liam continues to casually lean in the door way. He still hasn't said anything when my brain finally allows me to hear Michael screaming in the phone.

  "Uh. Michael.... I need you....." The glare from Liam interrupts me. A look so intense, I know I'm not to say another word to Michael. The grip from his stare feels like it's choking me. I can't breathe.

  The sound of my phone landing on the desk should've pulled my eyes from his, but he's holding me. My heart is racing and I want to scream, then run from here until I can lock myself in my house and never come back out. This is what I get for letting someone in again.

  His slow saunter toward me as he keeps the hold on me with the intensity in his eyes seems to take forever. The sound in my head as he takes each step is deafening.

  "Please." My pathetic voice trembles as I begin to plead for my life. His steps still heavy, he walks right up to me. I know not to run. There isn't an exit in this room that he hasn't locked. The window could be an option if I get desperate and would rather fall to my death than stay for the torture he will unleash on me.

  I refuse to let my eyes fall from his. I want him to see the hurt in my eyes when he destroys me even further than he already has with the images splayed out on this desk.

  His hand reaches for my phone once he gets close, but he never leaves my eyes. One last step brings him face to face with me. His breath match mine as he watches me begin to well up with tears. It pisses me off that I let him get to me. I swore to stay clear of heartache and pain. Burying my husband should be enough pain for a life-time.

  His eyes pull from mine when a tear escapes my eyes. He watches the moisture run the entire way down my face before he takes a finger to stop it. He brushes his hand across his naked chest and turns to the large fish tank in the corner. He drops my phone in the water and then walks to the desk chair as if nothing has happened. As if pictures of me aren't scattered in front of us. Pictures of me naked. Pictures of me walking some of the few times I left my house. Pictures of me in my house, in my safe haven.

  The way he sits reminds me of the first time I met him on that airplane. It irritates the shit out of me no less.

  "Livi. It's not what it looks like." My heart is still thumping so hard I can feel it in every breath. His words don't help that.

  "REALLY? TELL ME WHY YOU HAVE PICTURES OF ME? TELL ME WHY YOU HAVE PICTURES OF ME WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BY MYSELF. HELL MOST OF THESE PICTURES ARE FROM BEFORE I MET YOU, YOU FUCKING CREEP." He stands instantly and pulls me close to him again.

  "I can't stand you hating me. That look in your eyes is gutting me, but I can't fucking tell you why I have these pictures."

  "You just expect me to respect that and not ask questions? You're fucking crazy. Liam, let me go."

  "I can't. You have to stay safe."

  "Right! That's why I'm walking the fuck out of here and I don't want you to stop me." I rip my arm from his grip and turn to walk out of the room. I know this door is locked, but I have to try all of the options. I lean my head on the door once the realization hits me that I'm truly trapped. Flashes of the room start to play in my head as my mind goes into survival mode.

  I turn and walk straight for the plant stand. The sound of the pot crashing against the door shouldn't have startled me since I threw it, but it did. The damn door doesn't budge with my attempt at forcing my way through it. The plant stand is a fucking joke and now I'm getting pissed. Being scared is a thing of the past, now I'm outraged. How could he do this to me?

  I turn to charge straight toward him and notice his cocky ass sitting in the chair, looking at me like he wants to fuck me.
>
  "Let me out of here. Liam, I swear to God I'll bite your fucking dick off to get that key. I'm not some stupid bitch that will just listen to everything you say. You're fucked up and I'm done."

  "You're sexy as fuck when you're mad." His words disgust me.

  "WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I stop on the opposite side of the desk from him. Pieces of my life still laid out between us. I grab one of me in the bathtub and hold it up. "Let me guess, you jacked off to this one." Then I lift one of me in the kitchen. "Tell me, Liam, why the kitchen? Does this do it for you? How about the one of me when I was throwing up. I bet that one was fucking hot for you.... Oh wait, here's one of me talking on the phone. How is this even a picture that you'd want? You're a sick fuck and I can't be with someone who would violate my privacy like this..... Did you like my tits in this one? How about my ass in this one? Maybe I should have bent over and let you have a better view you sick asshole....."

  "STOP."

  "YOU STOP! YOU STOP ACTING LIKE I'M THE CRAZY ONE. I WOULD NEVER VIOLATE YOU LIKE THIS."

  "I know. Livi, I'm sorry."

  "SORRY! SORRY? YOU SAY YOU'RE SORRY. OH WELL, FOR FUCKSAKE..... NOW EVERYTHING IS PERFECT AND FORGIVEN. WE SHOULD MOVE IN TOGETHER"

  "I agree. I'll have your stuff moved here today."

  "You're insane." His eyes begin to travel over my body. I sit in a chair and try to cover myself as much as possible. I regret walking out of his room looking like this. How could I have known how my life would get turned upside down within twenty minutes of me stepping out of his bed. It would've been nice to have had some sort of clue of what I was walking in to.

  "You mean the world to me. I'd never do anything to hurt you." Sadly, I don't doubt that. These pictures are just a really sick way of watching me and I can't let that slide.

  "Liam, there's no way I can get past this."

  "In the end I need you safe. It's all that matters."

  "So why the pictures?"

  "I didn't take them."

  "Sure you didn't. Someone just planted them in that drawer for me to find."

  "I put them in the drawer."

  "Where did you get them?"

  "Someone brought them to me last night."

  "Liam, I don't want to play games. Just tell me where the damn pictures came from."

  "I can't tell you. It's classified information and I can't chance ruining everything I've worked for."

  "How could my personal life be so top secret that I'm not allowed to know it?" His cryptic answers are really pissing me off and each new answer makes me more frustrated.

  "Livi, do you trust me?"

  "NO. Why would I?"

  "Because deep down you know that I wouldn't do this. You know that I only care about you and want what's best for you. You know that I'd kill someone for doing this to you." I start to process what he's saying. All of that I would've agreed to an hour ago, but right now I don't know what to think. I bow my head and try to process this nightmare.

  "When can I go home?"

  "I can't let you leave until I know you'll be safe."

  "How long will that be?"

  "It could be today, or it could be weeks from now." WEEKS? I know as I sit here that I won't be here for weeks. I'll get out of this house or die trying. The irony of that isn't lost on me. I've spent months trying to stay locked up in my house away from everyone. Now that I have the perfect opportunity, I want nothing to do with it.

  "I can see your head turning. Don't even try to pull any shit on me Liv. I'll tie your ass up if that's what it takes." My eyes fly to his. I have no doubt that he's capable of that.

  "Why do I think you'd enjoy that?" The grin on his face reminds me of the playful side of Liam.

  "Not on your fucking life."

  "Oh I doubt that."

  "I don't"

  "We'll see." Now his conceited attitude is back. This is the part of him I could do without. Well, that and the fucking crazy ass, picture taking, stalker shit.

  "I refuse to stay here without some more information. How can you expect me to just give up my life because you say I need to. I need some details that let me know you're not the freak I should be running from." He stands from his sitting position and flattens both hands on the desk. He bows his head so that the stare in his eyes is even more intense than it has been. I can't hardly look into his blue, almost glass colored eyes. Why does he do this to me? I should be terrified with that look, but for some reason it reminds me for a second what he's about. He's passionate. He isn't the type of guy who could do this to me. Or at least, I don't think he would do this.

  "If you think I'm the psycho who did this, I will take you straight to my parents’ house. I know you'll be safe there and I will stand guard outside until I know you're safe. There isn't room for debate on this Livi. There are only two places in this world that I know for a fact that you'll be safe. I've given you both options. You say the word and I'll arrange to have you moved." Should that make me feel more relaxed because in a way it does? He begins to walk toward the door. I watch the sky through the sheer curtains and try to imagine the feel of fresh air right now. It's funny how you start to miss something the instant it's taken away from you.

  I turn to see him exit the room after the sound of the door latch opening pulls me from my short daydream. This is all too much for me. How can my mind process all of this if I'm only given pieces of the truth? Why can't he just tell me what I need to know? I could trust him so much more if he would just give me the information about where the pictures came from.

  Hell, is there a camera on me right now? My eyes scan the ceiling and shelves for proof that there is one. I can't see any evidence of any cameras, but I know they make them so small that I'd never be able to spot one just glancing around like this.

  I pick up a few of the pictures. Maybe if I try to put the pieces together, something will make sense. A creepy sensation spreads over my skin as I look at one of me in the bathtub. I'm laying my head on the side of the tub and I know when this picture was taken. It was exactly three days after James' death. That's how long it took me to agree to getting out of bed to clean up.

  The next picture is of Michael holding me that same day. If it weren't for Michael, I never would've moved from that bed. He was the only person I would let near me. I could feel James when he was near. It probably wasn't fair to him that I used him to fall asleep during those first few days. When I buried myself into his chest, he reminded me of James. He just held me while I fell apart, while my life kept flashing over and over. They always say your life flashes in your eyes before you die. I know this, because I felt like I was dying a very slow death.

  It took me a month to step away from the person I used to be and try to live a new life. As far as I'm concerned the woman in this picture is dead. She looks dead to me.

  The next picture that catches my attention is one from the day I went to dinner with Liam. Could he have been spying on me before he arrived to pick me up? Who else would be doing this? I just can't deal with the not knowing.

  I start to sort them. Starting a pile where I'm naked, then I try to place the rest of them on the desk in chronological order. It seems the pictures start the day after James died. There are a few that I can't place perfectly, but I know about how many weeks it took me before I went to the store or began to cook again.

  I remember this picture very well. It was after I finished writing my first book. I needed to feel close to James. The picture of us at our wedding was near me, so I held it close to my chest and cried myself to sleep on the living room floor. I woke up so cold and it was a hard day for me. It marked the day that I did something without James knowing about it. It's a huge accomplishment and I just wanted to share it with him so badly. He would've been proud of me and would've pushed me to publish. That book is something that I will always have with him. I spent the next day reading it out loud to him as if he were there listening. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, but it seemed
to be a turning point for me.

  I was able to move to the next book right after and the words flowed like they had never before. It was as if a weight had been lifted and I could breathe again.

  There are so many pictures. It reminds me of how mundane my life has been. None of them are exciting. I'm only smiling in a few. In fact there's only one that I'm smiling big enough to say that I was happy in that moment. I'm talking on my phone. I can only imagine that I'm talking to Liam.

  He's really the only thing that made me feel happy for months. I start to really focus on the pictures. Where could the cameras be in my house? There's at least two in my bedroom, one in the bathroom, one in the kitchen, and three in the living area. That doesn't count the pictures that were taken when I was out of the house.

  Who would do this? The only person I let in my house was Michael. He definitely wouldn't do this to me. He was there for me when my life ended. He knows how hard all of this has been for me. Shit, Michael. He's probably worried out of his mind with the way the conversation went. I wish I would've let him know the address. He's trained in this stuff though, so I have no doubt that he's working on trying to figure out how to find me.

  I pile the pictures together and hold them to my chest. I still feel violated and I just want the feeling to stop. An eerie feeling that I'm missing something begins to wash over me. Sliding the drawer open again, I look for any other pictures that may have fallen when I ripped the folder out.

  My heart falls when I see it. There's only a corner showing, but I know that boot. It's one of the boots I sent for him to be dressed one last time. That was his favorite pair of shoes to wear when we went out. They were perfect for the outdoor activities we always did together. God, how I wish I was away with him on one of our hiking adventures this very moment.

  I close my eyes just as I slide the picture out in full view. I placed it on the back of the stack without looking. This is the final dagger for me. Not only was I violated, but someone did this to James too. I'll never allow someone to get away with hurting him like this. The rage flowing through my body right now gives me the strength to face him again.