Blood Rogue, #1
Page 21
“And make losing her even harder?”
“The only reason you’re going to lose that woman is because of you, not us,” she scolded. “I’ll make sure of it.”
“Get real. What about Hunter? Better yet, you’re going to be able to convince Miklos? Hiroki? Somehow I don’t think that’s possible.” Sam started to raise her hand to cut him off, and Chaz grinned. “Okay, okay, I get the message. I don’t doubt you, Sam. Honest.”
“You doubt yourself.”
“Yes.”
“I could tell you not to, but you need to figure that out on your own. But I will tell you one thing. You’re an honorable man, Charles Tower, and I’ve known that for the last nine hundred years. Give or take a few.”
“You think so?”
“I know.” She smiled at him. “Go after her. Follow your heart.”
Could he?
Sam walked away, and Chaz could feel his heart expand with hope and contract in fear. He wanted so much to believe. Sam kept trying to tell him that the darkness was only in his mind, conjured by guilt. And yet, he knew the truth. Stacy needed an order of protection from him just as much as any other vampire walking the earth. The blood would win. The blood always won.
He could try to fight the blood. It would be a constant battle. Was he up to that task?
Chaz left the mansion in a quandary. “Ozzie?” he asked as the phone picked up.
“Yes?”
“Do you have her?”
“I am not in the habit of letting anyone down. You should know that by now.”
He sighed. Ozzie could be—trying at times. But he was still one of the best trackers the Paladin had. “I’ll be there soon. Just don’t let her out of your sight, got that?”
“I understand. I won’t let any harm come to her.”
Chaz went to his home in the city to think things through but found no solace there. He’d heard it said that the city never slept. He’d found that to be true for no matter what hour of the night, there were still sirens sounding in the distance and the rumble of a car going past. Streetlights never darkened until the sun rose. He looked out through the arched window set with brick wondering why he didn’t feel comfortable. Even in his worst moments, Chaz could look out at his neighborhood or at the wall filled with books gathered through the years and find solace. Not tonight. The walls felt too devoid of life. Characters weren’t people. The pages brought them to life but only in his head. Not for real.
Suddenly, Chaz felt the walls start to close in. So he grabbed his car and drove up along the coastline of New Jersey to West New York. River Road. At first, pure Jersey suburb with houses and malls and way too many apartments built too close to the Hudson River. Then up the hill to a much more urban, street-wise section where bodegas and stores sat beneath more apartment buildings on one side of the road and the river bordered the other. Scattered between the road and the river were patches of trees and grass, snippets of nature for families to use. Next to one, he found a parking spot and got out to sit on a park bench. He stared out at the lights of the greatest city in the world.
There was no way to describe the sight. On a clear night like this one, the lights reminded him of diamonds and stars, painted on a black background. If you stared long enough, the outlines of the buildings faded, leaving a panorama of jewels for the eyes to drink in.
Never in his wildest dreams as a human could he have imagined such a sight.
But the visual hid what lay beneath: the strength, the determination to survive, the need to grow and create made New York City the greatest city in the world. Perhaps this was the treasure of time.
Such a marvel would never have been conceived of when he was a human being. The entire modern world would have been unfathomable. Which made him wonder, for a moment, where the years had gone. Looking back, his time on this earth had been but a blink of an eye. And yet, the years also seemed beyond endless. Depending upon which way he chose to see his existence.
But there was one fact he couldn’t deny. For all their faults, humans had indeed grown in-depth and in knowledge, which made them closer yet even more frightening than ever. Man’s thirst for knowledge had brought the human race to the point where they were this close to truly accepting the idea of vampires’ existence. Would they be able to go beyond a television series and the movies? Would they be able to accept fantasy as reality?
Remaining invisible had protected them for so long. Even Sam couldn’t deny that an absolute total disaster was possible when the shadows were removed. And yet, she was making him an offer he couldn’t refuse. She was telling him she’d protect Stacy as an equal.
The choice was his.
He leaned forward and rubbed his face with his hands. The right thing to do was guard Stacy until he killed the rogue and then make sure she remained safe. The noble thing to do was make her forget all about him—the vampire with the bloodstained hands. The decent thing to do was make sure she understood that a vampire and a man were two different entities and that she belonged with a man, not a vampire.
The easier thing to do was drive a stake through his heart and not rip the damned thing out. Then let Ozzie take his head.
God, he was so toasted. Because he still didn’t know what to do. He wanted to love her, take the opportunity Sam offered, but he also knew the day would come when he would try to drain her dry.
Would he be able to stop? Would his love for her overcome the all-encompassing need for blood?
Like Sam said, the choice was his.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Stacy
Stacy slammed the car door closed, gunned the engine, and told herself speeding ticket be damned. She was that pissed off. Of course, half a mile later, she slowed down, but only because being caught would be embarrassing.
There had to be something that would push Chaz over the edge, forcing him to admit she was worth fighting for. But what?
Become the bait and flush out a rogue.
Yeah, and maybe get herself killed in the process.
Oh, well.
She reached the shore too quickly and pulled into O’Reilly’s, shuddering as she remembered the last time she was here. She shivered, remembering the way Nick and Donnie circled her like a piece of fresh meat. She remembered the rasp of Donnie’s tongue on her flesh. But in the end, that’s exactly what she was, what she’d agreed to be—a piece of meat. Stacy got out of the car and walked into the bar, feeling as though she’d never be safe again. Then she realized there was only one place she’d ever truly felt safe. And that was in his arms.
“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Pat remarked. “You okay?”
She slid onto a bar stool, grappling for a moment of normality. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve been busy.”
Pat nodded and pulled out a bar rag, which meant she was going to get an earful. “Told your Dad I’d keep an eye on you.”
“I know,”
“Guess you’re old enough to take care of yourself.” He didn’t say anything else right away, just kept wiping. “Makes me damned proud to see what you’ve done with your life.”
“Thanks, Pat.” Stacy smiled, thinking back to her idea. “Might amaze you yet, you know.”
That surprised him enough to get him to look up at her. “Oh, yeah? How?”
“I’ve been thinking about going to med school.”
The bar rag stopped rotating for a second. “Bet your Dad would bust if he were here.”
“I’ve always wanted to help people. I thought maybe I could do that if I helped catch the bad guys. I guess it’s not enough. I want to save lives. Not take them. Came way too close last time I was here.”
Pat nodded but seemed to understand this was her talk, not his, and that Stacy owed him an explanation about the night of the fight. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you about what was going down the other night, Pat. I was working an angle for the department,” she answered, embellishing the truth a little.
“I had a feeling.” The bar rag started s
wiping the counter again. “Don’t remember too much. Mike doesn’t either. Hope we put those youngsters in their place a bit before they got their licks in.”
Stacy’s heart warmed. “You are awesome.” It was comforting to know there were people around her who would always have her back. Of course, she didn’t dare tell Pat the truth. “Those two young punks were part of a drug sting.”
Pat grimaced and nodded. “Never did like you carrying a gun. Kinda figured you’d leave that to Mike. But when I found out you worked in a lab, I was okay with it,” he groused. “You’re gonna give that all up if you go to med school, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I’ll give it up,” she laughed. As she sobered, she reached out to give Pat’s hand a quick squeeze. “They wanted someone familiar with the area, and I was available. No harm, no foul.”
Pat seemed to accept her explanation. He threw the rag down and frowned. “You hungry? You look like you’ve lost weight.”
Stacy shook her head. “And you sound like my mother.”
Pat laughed. “Sue me.”
“Let me have a glass of the Pinot. The good Pinot and a burger.” She wrinkled her nose at the irony of becoming a piece of meat and eating one.
Oh well.
“Coming right up.”
Stacy enjoyed her meal, the first one she’d noticed eating in days. She watched part of a baseball game on the television behind the bar, drowning in the normalcy of the night. And she wondered. Would there ever be a time when she could do this with Chaz? Would he ever be able to accept that they could live in both their worlds?
If there was ever to be an “us” or any kind of a semblance of an “us,” Stacy had to prove to him she could function in his world. More importantly, that she could stand up to anything vampires could dish out—even rogue vampires.
So that meant she needed to make her presence known.
Stacy thought about walking then got into her car and drove the short distance to the warehouse, where she’d first encountered the rogue. And her first vampire lesson. Sitting in her car and staring at the empty parking lot, she replayed the entire night, realizing that he’d been trying to save the man’s soul, not take his life.
What a fine line between truth and deception.
Stacy laughed softly. The same could be applied to her own predicament. No one would ever be able to know Chaz existed. She would never be able to bring him into her human world. He would never truly be able to bring her into his. Her life would become part of his darkness, she would become isolated, what little piece of the vampire world that accepted her would be the only piece they could share. She had to accept that. In fact, she had to embrace it. Otherwise, she would never be able to accept the loneliness.
And yet looking back on her life, Stacy still felt out of place. Even though people like Pat and Tori and Mike cared about her, Stacy felt insulated. She didn’t want to say alone, but rather, she used the word singular. She’d never fit in. She was a scientist, a geek, a geek cop in a world that seemed to accept one or the other but not both. The only time she felt whole was when Chaz was with her. She needed him. Being with him made her come alive in the truest sense of the word.
Stacy had scoffed at the line, ‘you complete me.’ She’d never thought that plausible, let alone possible. Now she knew how wrong she’d been. Chaz was her other half. In the truest sense of the word, they were soul mates, because there wasn’t any other way they could truly mate.
The last question remained. What was she going to do with this knowledge? Logic dictated that she run as far away as fast as possible. The future with Chaz loomed uncertain and frightening. But then there was the flip side to that coin. The future without Chaz was simply unthinkable.
She loved him.
And maybe, someday, if she was lucky, she might tell Pat and Mike all about the vampire who was more human than most humans. Until then, she’d simply have to go it alone.
So Stacy got out of the car and walked around. She picked up pieces of garbage, ran her hands over the railing, and rubbed her palms on the pavement.
She yelled, figuring it wouldn’t help but knowing she had nothing to lose at this point. “Come and get me, you murderer! Come on!”
And she took a box cutter that she kept inside her purse for emergencies and cut her finger, pushing out several drops onto the pavement. She thought of them as tears of absolution because the protectors of the innocent were never fully appreciated.
“These are for Pitch!” she cried, hoping wherever his soul landed, Jeremy was happy.
She walked across the parking lot and pushed out several more. “These are for Aidan.” Who deserved a second chance for trying to save her life.
“These are for Chaz,” she whispered, knowing how much he’d suffered, believing he’d killed his human wife.
Stacy lifted her gaze to scan the entire industrial park. “Here it is!” she yelled. “Nice and warm. All ready for you. And so am I.”
“Well, I’m not!” a voice exploded from behind her. Chaz. She whirled around to see one very agitated vampire stalking towards her. “Are you freaking crazy, or do you simply have a death wish?”
He looked ready to have a heart attack. And since that was one of the organs she knew actually worked inside his body, Stacy decided to hang onto the snide reply. Instead, she asked, “How did you know I was here?”
“Ozzie. Did you think I’d ever leave you unguarded?” he exploded. “And just what in the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Saving both our lives.”
“More like trying to get both of us killed!” he yelled, reaching out to grab her shoulders. At the last moment, he must have thought better of that action because his arms fell to his sides, and his fists tightened into knots of sinew and muscle.
“I have no intention of dying.”
“Really?” he asked, his tone telling her he couldn’t believe she was that stupid. “You’ve seen a rogue in action. Explain that one to me.”
“And stand in the middle of a wide-open area while I do? Now, who has the death wish?”
He drew in a deep breath while his pale cheeks suffused with red. Fascinating.
“Damn it, woman, get in the car! Now!”
The scientist in her wondered how high his blood pressure would go. The woman simply stood her ground. “No.”
“You have half a second.”
Threats? Had he just threatened her? Good. Then her plan was working.
“Make me.”
“With pleasure.”
Stacy hid a smile. Then the air whooshed out of her lungs as he literally picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.
“You…. could…have…. been…. more…. gentle…. about…. that,” she choked out, unable to draw in a full breath as his shoulder bit into her diaphragm.
He set her down next to the passenger door, threw it open, and then shoved her into the seat. He looked ready to put a hole in her car with his fist, so Stacy held her tongue until he’d climbed into the driver’s seat.
“Where are we going?”
“Home.”
“Mine or yours?”
“Yours.”
“Isn’t that kind of like leading the fox right to the hen house?”
“Doesn’t matter now.”
“It doesn’t? I don’t understand.”
She didn’t like the marble caste to his countenance at all. But she wasn’t about to back down. He had a choice. Now or never.
“You will, Stacy. You will.”
Chapter Thirty
Chaz
Chaz had never been so angry in all his life. Never. Not even after he’d found out, he was a vampire and could never die. He’d never been so scared either. Not even after he’d woken up buried underground for the tenth time and had to claw his way through the damp earth to freedom.
A hot knife seared his insides, slicing away at his guts. He kept telling himself she couldn’t be that dumb; she couldn’t believe she could ignore the danger
she put herself in. Better yet, she couldn’t be so naïve as not to care.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked after carrying her inside the house and slamming her front door closed. Then he dumped her on the couch like a sack of potatoes. She jumped up, fist drawn back, ready to punch him. If the whole fiasco hadn’t been so unnerving, he’d have started laughing.
“Wait a second. This is my home. My turf. I didn’t ask you to come here; I didn’t ask for your help back at the bar.”
He drew in a deep draught of air and held onto it for a few seconds so that his insides wouldn’t meltdown. “Then you really are crazy. You’ve got a death wish.”
“No, I’m finishing this disaster once and for all. Then you can take your vampire friends and all your vampire games and go jump in the lake for all I care. I’ve had it. I’m tired of being treated like a piece of meat, the cheese in a trap, and a pile of crap all at the same time.”
She couldn’t mean that, could she?
“Stacy, wait.” Chaz started to pace, not knowing what to do with himself as he tried to figure out a way to get her to change her mind. “I know we’ve been a bit arrogant. I know we’ve been selfish. And that we haven’t exactly treated you with the respect you deserve.”
“We, Chaz?”
Her question dumped a bucket of cold water all over her anger. “All right. I haven’t either.”
She nodded in agreement. “You bet your sweet ass, you haven’t.”
Frustrated, Chaz raked his hands through his hair then threw them up in the air. “What would you like me to say? I’m sorry? Is that going to change anything?”
She folded her arms across her chest and stared at him, her countenance stern. “It would be a beginning.”
All right then—“I’m sorry.”
“Are you, Chaz? Are you really?”
The raw hurt in her voice grabbed at him. “You’ll never understand.”
“Try me.”
“Humans have emotions. We have shadows.”