by Owner
"But you didn't. As always, it is your actions that speak to your character, not your consideration of the possibilities." I made a frustrated noise. He still didn't get it. "Forget it. I have to get out of here." I crawled over to the foot of the bed and lowered my feet to the floor, keeping my hand on the mattress until I was sure my balance would hold.
"Are you running from what you nearly did, or are you running because of what you didn't do and the destiny that leaves you with?" He made no move to stop me.
"Both," I snapped. An odd lethargy pinned my feet to the floor, making it difficult to escape in any form of a hurry.
"Where will you go? You know you cannot return home." He watched me as I rounded the edge of the bed, preparing to take my first step away from the support of the mattress. "You will bring danger to yourself and to all those innocents around you."
"No. I got these nifty powers, remember?"
"Until someone else notices them or sees you fighting against Nevan. Do you think the humans will lock you away or the Observers?" The coldness in his voice raised goosebumps on my skin. But I kept going. "You don't belong there anymore, Zara." 169
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I halted, his words turning over in my mind. He was right, in more ways than he'd meant. The diner, the house, even Scott, none of that was truly mine anymore. I mean, even best case scenario, that my parents knew who and what I was when they took me in, everything still belonged more to Scott than it did to me. Worstcase scenario, some Observer had messed with their minds and not even allowed them a choice about taking me in. Well, then Caelan was right again. I couldn't go back there again.
"But I don't belong here, either."
Caelan moved up behind me, sliding his arms around me.
"None of us belong here, Zara. But with your help, we will find the truth and find a place to belong, even if it is of our own making."
He turned me around to face him, brushing the tear and sweat-dampened hair from my face. "Human or Observer, you are who you have always been. Good, despite what you might think of yourself." He pressed his mouth to my forehead lightly. "And I have loved only you from the beginning." Before I could respond, before I could even think to respond, a wave of exhaustion swept over me and nearly pulled me under where I stood. Caelan ushered me back to the bed and sat me on the edge, then lifted my feet up and tucked the covers over me. Though weariness tugged at every inch of me, the sense of comfort, something I hadn't felt in so long, warmed me, made me feel safe.
"Rest now. Your efforts of the last hour have drained your energy. We will come for you when you have had time to recover." He started to walk toward the door. I caught at his hand. "Stay with me." The words bubbled out before I had time to stop them.
He hesitated, his eyes glowing bright silver in the light of the bedside lamp. Then he said, his voice sounding rough, "I would like nothing more, Zara." He squeezed my hand, his thumb 170
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rubbing gently over my skin. "But I fear that you have had enough unrest for one day." A small smile appeared. "And if everything is as I believe, I may only be a small portion human, but sometimes it is that which controls me. So I cannot stay." He leaned down and brushed his mouth across mine, a brief taste of heat and him. Then he released my hand and strode out of the room, closing the door behind him.
I stared up at the water-stained ceiling above me, the feel of his lips still on mine, a phantom sensation, but one that warmed my blood nonetheless.
"Right," I muttered. "Like I can sleep after that. 171
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Chapter 16
But I did. Sleep, that is. I must have dozed off, though I didn't remember falling asleep. I woke suddenly, my heart jumping into my throat. I sat up and looked around for whatever had startled me into opening my eyes. Night blanketed the outdoors, leaving the bedside lamp in here the only bit of visible light. I frowned, looking for a clock, but there was none to be found in the room. It had been early afternoon when Caelan brought me in here. I must have slept a good four or five hours. I stretched my arms overhead, careful of my ribs. That much sleep must have been why I felt so much better, so rested. I hadn't felt like this in...years. A knock at the door sounded at the same time the ramifications of that thought clicked through. I stared back at my pillow, as if expecting to find the answers there. I hadn't had a nightmare this time. I'd never managed to sleep and then awaken without it happening, not once in the last two years.
"Zara, are you all right?" Namere's voice sounded muffled by the closed door, but I could still hear the worry in it.
"Yeah, I'm fine." My heart lifted at the idea of sleeping freely once again. But that benefit had consequences as well. If I no longer had the dream, then that must mean I'd uncovered whatever had caused it in the first place. Whatever microscopic bit of doubt I'd felt about Caelan's theories disappeared with the gift of those beautiful hours of sleep.
"May I come in?" Namere sounded hesitant.
"Oh, yeah, come in, come in." I shifted my legs over the side of the bed and stood up, my energy and balance restored. No, revitalized.
The door opened. "Are you all right?" Namere asked again. I grinned at her. "No more dreams. I'm not crazy, I'm just part 172
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alien."
Namere's eyes went wide and silver. "Perhaps I should call Caelan."
"No, no." I shook my head. "I'm fine." More than fine. There was so much more relief knowing the answers, even if they weren't the ones I might have hoped for. "Did you need me for something?"
She hesitated, as if still not certain whether or not to call for help. "Yes," she said finally. "Dinner. It is ready to eat if you are hungry."
My stomach moaned at the mention of food. I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten a meal instead of repetitive snacking. I slid my shoes back on and followed Namere out of the room, practically bounding down the stairs. She kept watching me over her shoulder, like a mother evaluating a child for illness. She led me into the dining area, the trestle table already set for five.
I looked at the fifth place at the head of the table. "Asha's coming?"
Namere nodded. "She feels she has recovered sufficiently to join us."
Well, this should be interesting.
I started to take a seat at one of the places along the side, but Namere stopped me. "No," she said. "That is your place." She gestured to the seat at the head of the table.
"All right." I moved over to take the place she designated. I'd have bet money that this had been Asha's seat until yesterday. So, correction: this meal was going to be very interesting. Caelan and Thane brought pots and pans of steaming food out from the kitchen and set it down on the table. Mashed potatoes, rolls, rice. "Carbo-load much?" I muttered. Then I said in a louder voice, "Do you need help with anything?" Thane and Caelan paused and looked over at me. Namere 173
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hastened to my side to lean over. "They are responsible for the cooking of food," she whispered.
"Why?" I whispered back.
"Because Asha and now, you, are the better warrior." Thane apparently had no patience for pretend secrecy in a telepathic world. "Your time is better spent otherwise."
"That's a bunch of crap." I frowned. "If you like doing it, that's fine. Otherwise, everyone should have a shot at it." Thane immediately dropped a pan of chicken breasts on the table. "Do you mean this?" he asked. I looked at Namere who was practically squirming in discomfort. "Uh, yeah?" I answered a bit uncertainly. The first smile I'd ever seen from Thane spread across his face, lightening his features considerably. "It is difficult work, and I will be glad to do it less often." But then his face fell, his familiar scowl returning. "But Asha will not support this." Namere nodded anxiously. Caelan lifted a shoulder, a small smile playing on his lips, as if to say, what are you going to do?
"She's not in charge anymore, is she?" My confidence grew a little. If I'd been given this role, I was going to play it.
No one responded. "Well, is she?" I demanded.
"No," Namere whispered. Thane shook his head. And Caelan just gave that same enigmatic smile.
"All right, then," I said. "Let's eat." The three of them started to take their places along the table.
"How easily you all forget what has been done for you." A voice sounded to my right and all of them froze. I looked up at them and shook my head. "Keep going," I said to them quietly. Then I raised my voice to Asha. "I'm glad you're feeling better." I tried to sound genuine. It was one of the only things I could think of to say that wouldn't sound controversial. If I invited her to sit down, it would be making a big deal of my taking her place as leader. If I asked if she was hungry, that would imply 174
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that giving or taking of food belonged to me. After a long moment, she said, "You think too much, human." And then she strode forward and took her place at the table. Right next to me. Caelan sat on the other side of me, so maybe he'd be able to help me keep from screwing this up too badly. Once everyone was seated, we just sat there for a few minutes. I kept waiting for someone to begin passing a bowl of something. I didn't think we were waiting on a prayer or anything. Eventually, Caelan leaned forward. "It is your right to eat first." Oh. I waved my hand. "Forget it. Everyone can eat together."
"No," Asha said sharply.
I looked to her, surprised.
"It is also your responsibility to eat first." Her eyes, the silver cold in them, bored into me.
I turned back to Caelan. "I don't understand." He hesitated, then said, "In the days after first arrival, we did not know which foods were safe to consume. As leader, Asha tasted all first before we ate, presuming that as the strongest, she would be the most likely to survive if something was not right with the food."
I stared out at the many bowls on the table, many of them containing foods, like broccoli, that I didn't even like.
"Finding your role as leader less than you expected?" Asha raised her eyebrows.
I glared at her and spooned a little of everything onto my plate. After tasting it all, I sat back and waited for them to dig in, which they did about three minutes after I'd taken my last bite.
"This is ridiculous," I muttered. Thane, and most likely Caelan as well, had prepared the food themselves, and I recognized it all. It wasn't like either of them was going to poison anyone. Though, I glanced over at Asha, it might be a wise move to keep some of them away from the pantry.
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Nevan?" I asked.
Everyone stopped and stared at me. I stared back. Apparently, the lack of conversation was some kind of social more. Caelan set down his silverware and pushed his plate toward the center of the table. "There are several options to consider." He glanced around until everyone but Asha followed his move by putting aside their food. Caelan to the rescue again. I gritted my teeth.
"Wait, you don't have to stop eating," I said. "I just wanted to hear what you were thinking about Nevan." Another moment of prolonged silence indicated I'd stepped in it again.
Caelan intervened. "We wait until we have eaten our fill before conversing," he said. "It is uncomfortable for us to communicate, even by thought-sharing, and eat at the same time. We feel more vulnerable to attack if our minds are occupied with communicating and our bodies with eating."
"Why?"
"Because the distraction may cause us to miss signs of an enemy approaching," Thane spoke up.
"Here?" I lifted a hand to indicate the wood-paneled dining room. "It's not exactly a war zone or anything."
"It's not something we can control, more of an instinct." Caelan glanced at Asha, who continued to eat, undisturbed, a small grim smile on her face.
I gritted my teeth until the urge to scream passed. "No problem," I said. "I'll wait." So I did, until everyone, including Asha, pushed their plates toward the center of the table. I opened my mouth to repeat my question from earlier, but before I could, the now-scraped clean plates and platters rose from the table and headed to the kitchen. I watched them go, unable to keep from staring, as the procession of white plates flew away, like a convoy of miniature UFOs. 176
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"There are several options to consider," Caelan said again, as if I had repeated my question. "But the significant point for each of them is the likeliness of finding Nevan unguarded."
"Unguarded?" I frowned.
"Outside of the embassy in your capital, he does not move about unaccompanied," Namere said.
"Is that typical of others like Nevan? Other Council members?" I asked.
No one responded, but they all engaged in a moment of staring at one another, so I had to assume they were conferring. Namere eventually answered with a shrug. "We do not know. What anyone else does has never been our concern." The very definition of tunnel vision, folks.
"So, these guards, that's why you can't just get Nevan and hold him hostage until he talks?"
Thane looked over at me with hardness in his blue and silver eyes. "We could defeat his guards." He sounded angry that I'd suggested otherwise.
"Or at least, engage them in battle long enough for two of us to take Nevan. On his own, he is not strong enough to resist more than one of us," Caelan added.
"Then why haven't you?"
"Because there are some here who feel that a dream must rule our every plan," Asha interjected before Caelan could answer. She stared at me. "That we must work toward a half-remembered fantasy, instead of survival."
I didn't want Caelan's vision to be true any more than she did. But facts were facts, and it was time for both of us to face them.
"We have not taken him because his absence would eventually be noted," Caelan answered my question.
"Noted by who?"
"Other Council members, at first, and then, your government and media, if the Council decided to notify or involve them." 177
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"Have you ever gone to the Council? Asked them for help?" It seemed to me they might be interested to hear that one of their esteemed members was running around withholding important information from others of his kind and trying to kill humans. Well, half-humans, anyway.
"And if they share Nevan's opinion that we should return to the tanks to start again?" Caelan said.
Then there'd be just that many more out there against them, probably enough to make them do whatever the Council decided, regardless of how strong they were against just Nevan. All right, good point.
"But that means you think he hasn't already told them about you. If he could get that kind of help to get you guys back in the tanks, why wouldn't he do it?" I frowned.
"Enough," Asha snapped. The room trembled with her power.
"This discussion is pointless. We will not confront Nevan." She leveled the challenge at me without blinking. She seemed to be trying to make me angry, like proving she wasn't afraid of me or what had happened–which could only mean she was. But I was more afraid of it than she was, though I wasn't planning on sharing that with her.
I looked around the table. No one seemed particularly surprised by her outburst, though with them it was hard to tell. "I thought you...some of you wanted answers."
"And you offer them answers at the expense of their lives." Asha leaned forward, her hands flat on the table. I risked a quick look at Caelan for help with this one. No matter how much I wanted the truth, for them and me, I wouldn't force anyone into this. Too much at stake, including their lives, for that. "Fine. I'll go alone, or with those who wish to accompany me."
"You cannot." Namere's face was a study in misery at being forced to contradict me.
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"Her decision is rule." Asha gave a sharp look to the other female. A little light went on in the back of my head. I sat back in my chair. "So, if I take off, that's considered abandonment, which let me guess, gives you grounds to take over ag
ain?" I raised an eyebrow at Asha.
Her lips twitched with a barely restrained snarl, and I knew I had her on this one.
"So now what?" I muttered to Caelan.
"Order us to go," he answered in a normal voice. I can't. I won't. This is a free country, for now, at least, I thought at him.
"One to which we do not belong," he responded quietly.
"If your order it, I shall follow," Namere said.
"As will I." Thane gave me an abrupt nod. All eyes turned to Asha. A ghost grim of amusement flickered in her eyes. "I will not go, despite your order. If you give such an order, I will challenge your right to lead this group, to rule in the name of their safety and protection as I have done for so long."
"Yeah, safe and protected except from you," I retorted. She touched the fading bruise on her temple with a tight smile. "Perhaps. Though it seems we are not so different in that respect." With that, she swung her legs over the bench and walked off.
A long moment of silence held after her departure. "Got any help for this one?" I asked the remaining three in general.
"Accept her challenge," Thane said immediately. I shook my head. "I almost killed her last time. I won't...can't do that again."
He shrugged, as if to say her death would be an understandable outcome to such a challenge.
"She must come with us," Caelan said. "Without her, all elements of the vision may be altered, including the outcome." 179
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Namere, who'd remained silent during most of the discussion, looked up at me then, her silver and gray eyes, which I'd once found so frightening, now seemed simply calm and unflinching.
"If you cannot order her to accompany us, then you must convince her."
Okay, but how do you convince the criminally insane? "I'm guessing that my saving her life didn't earn me any favors." Collectively, they shook their heads.
"And probably bribery, given that I have nothing to offer, is not a good option." I tossed my napkin on the table. "I'm out of ideas." Unless we hit her over the head and dragged her out, but I wasn't sure anyone, including me, would volunteer to get close enough.
