A Fresh Start

by Grace, Trisha

She was tempted to snatch her hand from his and deliver a slap across his clueless smile to wake him up from the ludicrous world he imagined he was in.

  But the moment her eyes noticed the living room Daniel was now showcasing, her heart fell to her stomach, and she almost lost it. Almost.

  The clash of normalcy and insanity was stark.

  The living room was a replica of her living room back in her house in New York.

  The beige couch with a white fleece throw neatly draped over its arm. The wrought iron coffee table overlaid with a glass surface, sitting over a large white rug that had the same design as the one her mother had chosen for her. Even the light brown curtains had the same flower imprints and another translucent curtain within it.

  She stepped onto the rug and ran her finger down the arm of the couch, the way she did before she left her house.

  She closed her eyes, feeling the sting behind her lids returning.

  Everything appeared normal. Everything except the dozens of photo frames.

  Every single flat surface area, except for the coffee table, was clustered with photo frames filled with photos of what used to be Cole and her. All the photos had been edited, replacing Cole’s face with Daniel’s own face.

  Except it wasn’t really Daniel.

  Daniel didn’t use to wear those thin, half-rimmed, gray spectacles. He used to wear thick, black plastic rims that had grown popular in the recent years.

  Daniel didn’t used to have ginger hair either. His hair was dark brown, almost black.

  Yet now, he looked exactly like Cole and was even wearing the same design of clothes that Cole always wore.

  “This is my favorite,” Daniel said when he noticed her staring at the photos. Lifting one of the frames off the shelf above the fireplace, he smiled sweetly at the photo as if he was reminiscing the memory of that day.

  He turned the photo over with a wide grin. It was a photo of Cole proposing to her.

  Not only was Cole’s picture edited out, her own face had been edited to another where she was smiling.

  She was certain that expression never appeared that day. Surprise or shock, maybe, but not that.

  “You remember? You were so happy when you saw the ring.”

  She forced her lips into what she hoped was a smile even as her mind reminded her of what she’d done with the ring. How was she going to explain things when he asked about it?

  She pretended to scan the room, trying to buy some time.

  “Of course I remember.” She moved toward the same shelf and picked up another photo frame. “I remember this, too.” She smiled at him and continued. “We both got a raise and we were out celebrating.” Then, hoping to conclude the conversation, she yawned softly.

  “Tired?”

  “A little. My head is feeling kind of weird, but I want to see the rest of the house.”

  “And you should eat something.”

  She didn’t know how she was going to stomach any food, but nodded anyway.

  “Come, I’ll show you the kitchen. You’ll love it.”

  Even before walking in, she had an inkling of how it’d look like.

  And she was right.

  The same dark brown cabinets, the silver fridge and oven. Besides the difference in the dimensions, resulting in larger cabinets, the design was another replica of her own kitchen.

  She didn’t even bother checking if the fridge and oven were of the same brand, she was certain it was. “It’s beautiful.”

  “See, I know exactly what you like.”

  She nodded with a small smile. “Yeah.”

  “What do you want to have?” He opened the freezer’s door and stepped aside for her to see the stacks of frozen food within.

  Junk food.

  She laughed as she heard Justin’s voice in her head.

  “What’s so funny?”

  She shook her head and mustered a genuine smile. “I just really love those pizzas. I’ll have the four cheese pizza.”

  “All right, sit.” He gestured toward the same dining table she’d bought from Pottery Barn.

  She sat without saying anything and tried to remain casual as Daniel came over.

  Unlocking one of her hands from the cuff, he hooked the cuff over one of the table’s leg.

  He took out a pizza from the fridge and placed it into the oven, then washed a glass and filled it with water.

  While he was busy across the kitchen, Paige took another look around the place.

  He couldn’t have been in her house only once. He knew every detail of her living room and kitchen.

  She didn’t dare think how her room would look like.

  When that thought entered her mind, she had to clarify and set her mind at ease. “Daniel, I know we’re engaged and all, but I don’t believe in moving in together.”

  “I know, I know,” he said, moving over with the glass of water in his hand. He set it down on the table before her. “You have your own room. I love you, I won’t do anything to upset you.”

  She smiled, at least that was one less thing she had to worry about.

  “Drink.” He gave the glass a nudge. “I’m sure you’re thirsty.”

  She twirled the ring around on her finger and stared at the glass, contemplating if it was safe to drink.

  Daniel must have sensed her skepticism. He picked it up and took a gulp.

  “There’s nothing inside. I wasn’t sure how you would react just now. I want you to trust me from now on, all right?” He grinned at her, his eyes creasing. “We do have to live together for the rest of our lives. It’s much easier that way.”

  Tugging at the handcuffs, she questioned, “Then this?”

  “I took a gulp of water to prove to you that I didn’t put anything in there.”

  “So you want me to prove that I won’t run? I can’t prove anything if you don’t give me the chance.”

  Daniel narrowed his eyes.

  “You don’t trust me at all, do you? Why do you want to live with me if you don’t trust me?” She turned away because she couldn’t get herself to cry. She was a terrible actress.

  She tried hurriedly to think of something sad, to try and get some tears or redness in her eyes. She shut her eyes and thought about the moment she saw her giant of a brother lying in the hospital bed with half his leg missing and tubes of all sorts stuck into him.

  She blinked as her eyes watered.

  What she would give to have Justin, Andrew, or her mom at her side right now.

  She tipped her chin and tilted her head back as she drew in a deep breath.

  She could do this.

  The control is yours, Justin reminded her.

  “All right, don’t cry.” Daniel reached over and brushed his thumb down her cheek.

  She shut her eyes tight and froze, willing herself not to flinch at his touch. Then she heard the click and felt the pressure across her wrist disappear.

  She looked down at her freed hand and rubbed at the line imprinted on her skin.

  “Why didn’t you tell me it was too tight?”

  “I didn’t know it could be adjusted. I’ve never been arrested.”

  “You’re not arrested. You’re the love of my life, and I’m yours. We belong together. But Paige, if you try to leave, if you ruin everything, I’ll kill us both.”

  She swallowed hard, then quickly smiled. “I’ve no intention of leaving.” She lifted her freed hand. “And now I can prove it to you.”

  She sat dutifully and ate her dinner. She kept away from the water until she finished her pizza. Sufficient time had passed. If there was something inside the water, the effects would have shown in Daniel.

  When they were done, Daniel led her up the stairs and showed her the bedroom.

  The room lived up to her expectations. Every piece of furniture was like her own room in New York.

  But as she moved over to the dresser, she felt the air rushed out of her.

  Every item, down to her makeup was exactly the same, placed the
same way she did back home. She moved over to the wardrobe and saw the same clothes, hung exactly the way she arranged.

  Tops were arranged from the shorter sleeves to the longer sleeves, then from the lightest shade of color to the darkest shade within the same category. Dresses from the shortest to the longest, then by sleeve length, and lastly, color shade.

  OCD, Andrew had called it.

  She twirled the ring around on her index finger, trying to stop herself from thinking how many times he’d been in her house without her knowing. She moved over to the window, hoping to get some fresh air.

  “The grill is locked.”

  She nodded without turning to look at him and tried sliding the glass window pane across. “Is it all right if I slept with the window open?”

  “Yes, of course. Whatever makes you happy,” he answered. “And, to show you that I can be trusted.” He stepped forward toward her and lifted her hand, dropping two keys into her palm. “These are the keys to your room. So you can lock your door and don’t have to worry about anything.”

  “Thank you.”

  He leaned in and she shut her eyes again, her thumb clenched tight over her ring. “Goodnight.” He kissed her on her cheek and left the room.

  She closed the door and locked it before dashing into the bathroom to wash her face. She didn’t have to scanned the bathroom for what she needed, the cleanser was exactly where she’d expected; right beside the sink, placed alongside with her toothbrush.

  She stared into the mirror, water dripping down her chin, her tears mixed in among the droplets.

  She had wasted three years of her life on fearing Daniel. Without the mask of anonymity, he didn’t seem so scary. She brushed away the tears and took in a deep breath, then slowly exhaled through her mouth.

  Think, she told herself. She had to get out of the house and get some help.

  Smiling, she opened the cabinet above the sink and took out the shaver. Without any water or shaving cream, she shaved down her arms and legs. Then she turned on the shower and made herself step into the hot running water.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Paige opened her eyes and glanced over at the alarm next to her bed. She’d woken up every hour since she went to bed. She didn’t know if it was the overload of the day finally catching up on her or simply the unfamiliar bed.

  It was only four in the morning.

  She laid back against the pillow, her eyes wide opened.

  Everything was so familiar but completely different.

  The walls were of the same off-white color. The same table lamp stood on top of the cabinet beside the bed. Within the single drawer of the cabinet was a Kindle, and inside the Kindle were books that she had in her own Kindle.

  She was wearing her comfortable cotton tank top and long cotton sweats as pajamas. Though the scent of detergent and softener was clear on her clothes, her top and comfortable pants also had the new clothes smell.

  Even the bed sheets had the same smell that would only go away after a second or third wash.

  The first time she woke up, she thought she had been dreaming.

  No stalker. No Pine Bluffs. No Justin.

  Only the smell from her pillow reminded her otherwise.

  She had laid in bed then, waiting for the tears to come. But she couldn’t cry. No matter bad the situation was, it was a situation that led her to Justin.

  She was afraid. She didn’t quite dare to think about what would happen if she failed in what she wanted to do. She didn’t dare to think where she would be a week from now.

  The only time her eyes stung was when she thought about what she had in mind just before everything gone wrong. She hadn’t had the chance to tell Justin that when the time came, she would leave Pine Bluff’s with him.

  No, she told herself. Choose anger.

  She tossed over to the other side.

  She would get out of this insanity. First step, getting out of the house. God would settle the rest.

  She could already feel the prickling on her arms and legs.

  Unlike all the other times when she had to resist the urge to scratch, she scratched each time her skin pricked, not caring that it’d probably cause her skin to bleed.

  Another hot shower would definitely flare up her rashes.

  She couldn’t help smiling at how a problem that had often given her trouble and frustration was now her key to perhaps getting out of this nightmare.

  She needed her sleep. She would need her wits tomorrow and a slow reacting mind wouldn’t help her.

  “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.” There were more to the bible phrase, but she couldn’t remember the rest of it.

  She repeated that over and over again until she fell asleep.

  A sudden sound of running water woke her up from her sleep. Her brain was in full alert the moment her eyes opened. Whatever was clouding her mind yesterday had lifted. She had a plan, and her mind was more than ready to help her begin what she needed.

  She sat up in bed and scratched down her arms.

  Glancing over at her arms, she could see the bumps that had formed after a whole night of scratching. Her upper arms were especially cooperative, it was bright red and the rashes were beginning to spread up her shoulders.

  Another hot shower would make it worse.

  She got off the bed and moved to the bookshelf over at the corner of the room. Since everything was arranged exactly as her original bedroom, she reached for the book she had in mind and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

  She flipped through the pages and grinned when it was exactly the same edition. The string binding of that particular edition would allow her to tear a page off without leaving any telltale sign.

  Unless Daniel was going to check each page number, he wouldn’t know what she’d done.

  Placing the book on the vanity table beside the sink, she reached for her eyebrow pencil and rubbed the edges along the side of the paper that she had no intention of using. Once it was sharp enough, she set it aside and folded the paper.

  She pinched the paper with her nails and went over the line several times before slowly splitting the paper into a smaller piece that she could easily hide. She quietly tore up the rest of the paper and dumped them into the toilet bowl.

  Retrieving the pencil, she wrote down her name, added all the instructions that she had chanted over and over again in her head, and the amount of time Daniel had driven.

  It wasn’t much, but it was everything she knew.

  She tightened the grip on the pencil and tried to use the edge to make the letters thinner. The softness of the eyebrow pencil wasn’t exactly meant for writing. Each time she tried to control her handwriting, aiming to make it smaller, a part of the pencil would break off.

  She put down the pencil and shook the tension from her hand before continuing. She blew away the broken lead and wrote again, squeezing the letters and words as closely as she could.

  Two story house, brownish walls, gray roof, white window grills. Trees around, no neighbors.

  Lastly, she sent a message using a method Andrew had taught her when they were young. That way, he’d know the message was from her.

  When she was done, she flushed the toilet and watched to make sure that all the paper went down.

  Then all she had to do was to step into another way too hot shower and let her sensitive skin get to work.

  The moment she stepped out of the shower, she began perspiring. She wiped away the sweat on her forehead and the fog on the mirror. She got ready as per usual and picked out the thinnest cardigan she had in the wardrobe.

  Though her sensitive skin never allowed her to stay too long in the sun without getting a bad reaction, she couldn’t tolerate cold either. All her sweaters were thick and unsuitable for her pretense.

  She pulled on the thin cashmere sweater; an impulse buy. She’d loved the design so much and had somehow convinced herself that for some miraculous reason, her skin would be able to withstand the
scratchy material.

  She had only worn it once, and on that one occasion, she couldn’t even keep it on throughout the day. Just an hour into wearing it, she’d taken it off and her skin was red even without her scratching.

  Cringing, she arched her shoulders back and stretched her neck at how rough the material was against her skin. Endure. She straightened her back and opened the door.

  “Good morning, dear.”

  “Morning.” She smiled at him even as her legs froze right by the door.

  “Did you sleep well?”

  She dropped the smile she’d conjured and fidgeted. “Yeah,” she said after a moment’s pause.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” she quickly answered. She saw his brows furrowing for a moment and couldn’t help her inner self from jumping with excitement.

  “You’re unhappy about being here, aren’t you? You’re thinking of a way to leave.” Daniel took a step toward her and shoved her against the wall. “We’re meant to be together. I’ve already overlooked your indiscretion with the construction guy! I won’t let you leave me.”

  In the split second when the back of her head hit the wall, she forgot her plan. One of her hands reached up to the point of impact as her blood boiled.

  She huffed and looked away, forgetting who she was dealing with.

  Pulling her hand from her head, she checked her fingers to make sure there wasn’t any blood. Then, she threw her hands in the air and said, “If you don’t trust me at all, why did you bring me here? For you to yell at? For you to shove around simply because I was slow in answering your question?”

  Daniel stared at her, dumbfounded.

  “You know everything about me? Then you should’ve known that I can’t stand wearing new clothes or sleeping on new sheets unless they have been washed at least twice.” She was impressed with how well she was lying.

  “I shouldn’t have done that,” he muttered under his breath, “but you shouldn’t have left!”

  The sudden yell startled her, but she wasn’t going to hand this fight over so easily.

  She shouldn’t have lost control. She should have enough common sense to know that agitation and insanity wasn’t a good combination.