A Chance at Forever

by Melissa Jagears

  Or maybe that would be worse. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Would it really matter if they gave Jimmy time to adjust? He’d always gone berserk the moment anyone talked of adopting him. But with little children in residence he could now push around . . . “All right.”

  “Good. We’ll pray this works out as well as I hope.”

  She nodded, Nicholas left, and she felt Aaron come closer, his massive body warming the air behind her.

  “What do you think?” she whispered without meeting his eyes. Aaron had spent more productive time with Jimmy than the rest of them. He’d somehow gotten him to work in the garden, and if any of them had had success in making Jimmy obey, it had been Aaron—though likely due more to his size than any real persuasive power.

  He remained silent, and she turned to look up at him. He was looking at her as if happy she’d asked his opinion but sad about the question at the same time.

  He sighed and looked away toward the front of the mansion, where Franklin was setting a trunk out by the entrance. “I don’t know this Mr. Ragsdale.”

  “He’s a good man who attends our church and has had tremendous loss this past year. His youngest daughter married and moved away last spring, then his wife died. His son recently died in a tragic accident as well, so he’s living alone now. But his children turned out decent.”

  “Were any of them difficult?”

  “One girl had a forceful personality, but she ended up marrying well and seemed to have matured into a good woman. She was older than us. Do you remember a Dorothy Ragsdale?”

  He shook his head.

  She hadn’t known her well, but she was a lot like the snooty Miss Sorenson—though Stella did seem to be softening the more time she spent with Sadie at the meetings. “What do you think about giving Jimmy no warning though?” Surely he’d think that was a bad idea and could talk Nicholas out of it easier than she could.

  Aaron shrugged. “Could be terrible, could be what he needs.” He shook his head and looked down at her. “He’s been mean to Isabelle lately. I can understand Mr. Lowe’s desire to get him out as quickly as possible.”

  “But surely we could protect her for a few days.”

  “If I’d been your father, I would’ve done whatever I could to keep ten-year-old me from hurting you any more than I did.” His expression softened with regret. “I don’t blame Lowe for worrying about that.”

  She closed her eyes. How was it possible to feel such a mix of feelings toward the man beside her? Anger at what he’d once done to her, yet sort of cherished knowing he wished to go back in time to protect her from himself.

  “Well.” He clicked his tongue. “Why don’t you drive the wagon up, and I’ll load his trunk. We can’t overrule Lowe, but we can pray it goes well.” He headed toward the mansion.

  She slowly climbed into the wagon and started toward the portico. Why was she feeling so hesitant about this? Aaron was right. They couldn’t question Nicholas without a good reason, and simply saying she felt uneasy wasn’t enough to stop his plans.

  When she pulled to a stop, Caroline was waiting with a fussy Katelyn. “Did you hear we’re taking Jimmy?”

  She nodded and took the baby so Caroline could climb onto the bench seat.

  The boy in question walked out and glared at Aaron as he loaded his trunk.

  Aaron swiped his hands on his trousers and gave the boy a nod. “Best of luck.”

  Jimmy made no move to climb into the wagon. Instead he fidgeted in a way that appeared more fearful than angry.

  He’d always acted as if the orphanage were the last place on earth he wanted to be . . . but perhaps it truly had been an act. She turned to see him better. “Mr. Ragsdale is a good man, Jimmy. I know you don’t want to go, but you must give it a try.”

  The baby let out a wail. Seemed Katelyn wasn’t happy about leaving the mansion either.

  Aaron tried to put a hand on the boy’s shoulder, but Jimmy shrugged it off. Aaron stepped back and looked at Jimmy as if he could feel his pain. “You’ll have a room to yourself, I bet. That’s something.”

  Jimmy looked out over the hill toward town, standing in place as if he’d try to wait them out.

  If he didn’t learn to get along with others soon, the second he graduated from school—if he graduated at all—he’d likely head to the red-light district and cause problems, hurt others, and die young. Since the day Jimmy had arrived, she’d prayed he’d soften enough to become a decent man, but it seemed nothing they’d done had helped. He was still as hard as the day he’d arrived five months ago with nothing but his clothes, driven to them by a grizzled old man who’d found him shivering in the alley between two brothels.

  Jimmy had told them nothing about his past.

  Caroline started bouncing Katelyn in an attempt to shush her as they waited to see if Jimmy would throw a fit or capitulate.

  His arms were wrapped around himself as tightly as barbed wire around a fence post. “You can’t adopt me out.”

  “We’re not.” She forced herself not to tell him she had half a mind to ask Nicholas to give him some more time. “We’re just seeing how this goes.”

  “Get in, Jimmy.” Aaron’s command was loud enough to be heard above Katelyn’s cries, yet soft with sympathy.

  “Fine.” Jimmy stomped to the wagon and flopped into the bed. “But I’m not going to stay.”

  Mercy squeezed the reins. If that was true, were they making things worse? If Jimmy ran away, they could lose their chance to help him entirely.

  Oh, she could second-guess this all day, but Aaron was right—it was Nicholas’s call.

  As they left the mansion property, the baby quieted with the swaying of the wagon, and Mercy glanced back to see Jimmy slumped in the corner of the wagon bed, ripping apart leftover straw.

  What did this boy actually want? Maybe if he felt this was being done less to get rid of him and more because he was needed, he’d perk up. “We’d love to keep you at the mansion, but Mr. Ragsdale needs you. He lost his wife a year ago and his son just a few months back. He’ll be grateful for your help.”

  “How’d they die?”

  At least he was listening. “His wife’s heart failed, and his son was in an accident. The horse he was tending trampled him in a stall. I don’t know more than that.”

  “So you’re sending me off to be a slave to this farmer who’ll make me do the same chores that killed his son?” Jimmy’s voice shook.

  Mercy’s stomach tightened as if she’d just been punched in the gut. Even Caroline winced at how she’d stumbled upon the worst thing to say. “It was an accident. Mr. Ragsdale wouldn’t have asked his son to do anything he wouldn’t do himself.”

  “You’re sending me to my death.” Jimmy threw the straw in his hand as hard as he could, though it only ended up littering his pant legs.

  Caroline turned in her seat to glare back at him. “You’re just as likely to die at the mansion with the way you disobey. Remember the time Mr. Parker almost ran you over—”

  “The old man should’ve looked where he was going.”

  Caroline shook her head. “If you’d been inside doing your chores instead of sleeping on the horse blankets in the carriage house, you wouldn’t have been in danger. Perhaps fear will be a good thing if it’ll make you obey.”

  Mercy pressed her lips together to keep from smiling at Caroline’s vehemence. Katelyn was either going to be a perfectly behaved angel or she would drive her aunt crazy for the rest of her life.

  “If Mr. Ragsdale’s son’s death was an accident”—Jimmy’s voice was cutting—“it wouldn’t matter whether he was obeying or not.”

  Mercy fought the desire to sigh in frustration as they came upon Mr. Ragsdale’s property. If Jimmy did run, hopefully he’d return to the mansion since it was nearby.

  She looked back as they passed through the gate. Jimmy’s face appeared hard, but he was curled up tight with his arms around his middle. Would anything they decided in regard to Jimmy ever feel
right? “You might like it here and want to stay.”

  “You don’t understand.” His voice cracked. “Take me back.”

  She steeled herself against the sound of his voice breaking. He was only afraid someone would make him do as he ought. But being taught to obey would be the best thing for him, whether he believed it or not. “Give it time, Jimmy.”

  Mr. Ragsdale exited the barn, pulled a bandanna from his overalls’ back pocket, and wiped his hands as he approached. He was in his early fifties with a head of frosty blond hair and lines around his mouth that weren’t hidden by his thin mustache and beard. The man was approachable yet world-worn. Hopefully that combination of soft and hard would help Jimmy.

  “Ho there!” he called.

  She stopped the wagon. God, please keep Jimmy’s mouth from spilling out anything that’ll make Mr. Ragsdale turn him away. But if this is a bad idea, please make it clear with something other than Jimmy’s whining.

  Mr. Ragsdale came to her side to help her down, but she shook her head. “Thank you for giving this a try, Mr. Ragsdale, but I think it best we not prolong the good-bye. I’ll return next week to check on him.” Jimmy would likely only try to argue with her the longer they stayed. Better Mr. Ragsdale see a pouting, sulking boy than hear whatever foolish things Jimmy might say to her.

  “All right.” Mr. Ragsdale went to the back of the wagon, where Jimmy sat like a knot in the wood. “Nice to meet you, Jimmy. I’m hoping we can make a go of this. I can use your help.”

  Jimmy’s backside didn’t budge an inch. “I’d rather go back to the orphanage.”

  “They told me you aren’t fond of work, but at least feeding animals and digging ditches is men’s work. Much better than polishing silverware at that mansion. You’ll get strong and lean and feel like you can take on the world.”

  Mercy cringed. A Jimmy who felt like he could take on the world would probably be even harder to handle.

  The boy only glared at the man. “And if I don’t want to?”

  Mr. Ragsdale shoved his bandanna into his pocket and stared right back. “I’m afraid you don’t have a choice, son.”

  Mercy closed her eyes. Lord, don’t make him have to wrestle the boy out. I’m not sure I could sleep this week if that’s how I last see him.

  Jimmy’s jaw wriggled, but then he huffed and slid off the wagon. “You got food?”

  Hurrah for a boy’s empty stomach.

  “I’ve got ham and a sweet potato pie the neighbor lady gave me. Good enough?”

  Jimmy nodded and shuffled off toward the little white farmhouse.

  She turned to give Mr. Ragsdale a nod. “I hope you’re able to handle him.”

  He gave Mercy a halfhearted smile. “Nothing I haven’t dealt with before. My daughter Dorothy gave us a lot of stubborn lip around his age.”

  “Good luck, then. Feel free to call on the mansion or Mr. Lowe if you have problems.” Though she couldn’t guarantee they could come up with anything to help Jimmy behave any better.

  Mr. Ragsdale tipped his hat and followed the boy toward the house, his steps dragging almost as much as Jimmy’s. Was it wrong to ask him to deal with a hard child after he’d had such a terrible year?

  Then again, he’d agreed, and something had to change before Jimmy was completely lost. Since this wasn’t an official adoption, nothing would keep her from checking on him whenever she liked. Or maybe Aaron should check on him.

  She huffed a silent chuckle. Just weeks ago she’d worried about Aaron having any contact with the children, and now she was thinking it best he look after one instead of her.

  Turning the wagon, she rolled the tension from her shoulders and loosened her grip on the reins. Aaron had told her they could pray that the plan went well, and so she would.

  A cute squeak of a noise escaped Katelyn. The infant was fast asleep, but her slack chubby cheeks made her little lips pucker as if whistling. Caroline readjusted Katelyn in her arms and sighed. “Mr. Ragsdale was right about there not being much to do at the mansion but polish silverware now that everyone’s settled. I’ve been thinking I need to find myself somewhere else to go.”

  All the tension in Mercy’s shoulders came rushing back. “Don’t be ridiculous, Caroline. When the Lowes return to their old house, they’ll need you to stay at the mansion.”

  “Problem is, I’m not so sure they’ll move back to the other house.” Caroline readjusted the baby in her arms. “I overheard them talking about contracts lost and the cost of rebuilding, wondering if it’d be better to absorb the loss and move on. And if Mr. Lowe is uncertain . . . Well, if they stay at the mansion, I’m not needed. Sadie’s highly capable, younger, and without dependents.”

  Mercy stared at the horse as they drove through the industrial part of town. If the Lowes stayed at the mansion, her family wouldn’t be needed either, even if Timothy straightened out enough to be worthy of the orphanage director position.

  With only four orphans under their care, it did seem lavish to pay for the upkeep of an entire mansion with double the staff. More children could show up on their doorstep any day, but if the Lowes didn’t move back home . . .

  “I think I’ve decided.”

  Mercy shook the gloomy thoughts from her head and turned to Caroline. “Decided what?”

  “Even if the Lowes leave at some point, they’ve always planned to return to the mansion once their children were older. They won’t need us all eventually.”

  True, but that time felt so far away.

  “Before you take me to see Lily White, can we stop by the flour mill?”

  “Beauchamp Mill?”

  “Yes. If we go now we might get there before it closes. Henri said he’d support Katelyn, so I’d like to see if he’d give me a job. I’ve spent my inheritance helping district women, and all it got me was . . .” She stared down at Katelyn. “Well, it’s got me into a predicament.”

  Mercy shook her head. Caroline wasn’t thinking this through. “Who’d watch the baby while you worked?”

  Caroline shrugged. “I’ll pay someone to watch her.”

  Turning at the intersection, Mercy kept her mouth shut. Henri likely didn’t have a job Caroline could do that would pay enough for a nanny and living expenses.

  She pulled to a stop in front of Henri’s mill. The smokestacks billowed, and the roar of active machinery was muffled by brick-and-concrete walls. “Let me take the baby for you.”

  Caroline transferred Katelyn into her arms, and the babe’s soft little face pressed against Mercy’s chest. How could Caroline hand this child over to someone to work in a factory all day?

  The door to the mill opened, and Henri came out. His hand went up to put on his hat, but he stopped with it an inch above his head upon spotting them. He tucked the cap under his arm and headed toward the wagon. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

  Caroline fidgeted for a second before turning to climb down from the wagon.

  Henri jogged straight for her, taking Caroline’s arm as she stepped down onto the rutted road.

  She backed away a space and brushed herself off. She looked up at the baby for a second, then back at Henri. “I guess I should’ve asked if you had time to talk before I got down.”

  He lifted a shoulder. “I’m on my way to a meeting, but I left with plenty of time to spare. Did you need something?”

  “I won’t keep you long, but I was wondering if your offer to support Katelyn might include giving me a job.”

  His expression turned incredulous. “Did something happen with the Lowes?”

  “No, but you know they’ve moved to the mansion after the lumber mill fire, yes?” At his nod, she continued. “Well, I figure the Lowes need to trim their staff. Wondered if I might get a job at your mill or another business of yours.”

  He fidgeted, putting on his hat, then taking it right back off. “How do you plan to care for the baby? You can’t have her with you in the mill like you can at the orphanage.”

  “I don’t think i
t’s fair for the Lowes to pay me to watch a child when my job is housekeeping. I could ask Mercy to care for her, but . . .” She shrugged. “Katelyn’s not exactly a charity case like the others, so that’s unfair too. Anyhow, the Lowes should be helping people needier than I am.”

  The look in Henri’s eye as he shook his head only confirmed that Caroline hadn’t thought her request through. “But my giving you a job wouldn’t solve that problem. The jobs you could do here aren’t going to pay enough for you to pay someone to watch Katelyn.”

  Caroline’s shoulders slumped, and she looked away from him. “I didn’t take the job at the orphanage to become a charity case. No one in my circumstance would demand a full salary from their employer to do a modicum of work while they cared for their own kin.”

  Henri shuffled his feet, turning to look toward town, then down at his watch. “Infants get easier to care for as they get older, right?”

  “Easier, yes, but not so easy I can work as well as I did before.” She shook her head, looking back in the direction of the mansion. “I could ask the Lowes to cut my salary, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not needed.”

  Henri glanced at his timepiece again and let out a rough exhale. He looked at Caroline, though she wasn’t looking at him. His expression turned wistful, and he seemed to be memorizing every aspect of her profile. “I have to go, but please, go back to the mansion and allow me time to think about what we can do that’s best for Katelyn.”

  She nodded almost imperceptibly. “I know I’ve been unfairly mad at you in regard to my sister, and—”

  “No you haven’t. I deserved your wrath.”

  She looked at him then, and they stood in silence for a moment.

  The moment turned a bit too intimate as they stared at each other, so Mercy busied herself with rearranging the baby’s blanket. She’d never pried into Caroline’s life. The housekeeper was one of the most guarded women she knew, so being witness to this somehow felt wrong.

  She’d heard that Henri had had a falling-out with Nicholas and Caroline over how he viewed their charity work in the district, but she’d never heard the details.