Violet Lane (Love is Music Book 1)

by R. M. Lynn

  He sees me see them, especially since there is nowhere to go. He gives me a casual smile. Since we talked in his room and hugged it out, our relationship was pretty much just how it had been before the party. However, seeing him with her like this, makes me feel an awful kind of way.

  “Hey, Livy,” he says when they near, a smile on both their faces. “Practice tonight, right?”

  I give him a nod and a polite smile. He says he’ll see me later, and then his arm is around Stella, and they continue past me. I hurry to meet Mackenzie. My heart is beating out of my chest the entire walk, and when I find her at our usual table in the café, I plop down with a heavy sigh and run my fingers through my hair.

  “Mack, I have a serious problem, I think,” I say as soon as catch my breath.

  She raises an eyebrow at me. “What kind of problem?”

  “I like him,” I state. “I’ve liked him this whole time. We both knew it. He begged me, begged, for me to give him a chance. And I stayed with Scott. I’m still with Scott. Why the fuck am I with Scott?”

  “Whoa, girl,” Mackenzie replies and puts a hand up. “What are you talking about? Who do you like?”

  “Kyler,” I whisper as if the people sitting at the tables around us will know exactly who I’m talking about. “I like him. A lot. I really, really like him. Oh, God, Mackenzie, I seriously fucked up everything.”

  “How? He told you his feelings haven’t gone away,” she reminds me.

  Sighing, I say, “But you didn’t see them, Mack. How happy he was. She adores him. I can tell from the way she looks at him.”

  “He adores you,” she insists. “I can tell from the way he looks at you.”

  “I don’t think so,” I say with a shake of my head. “Not anymore. Either way, I have to break up with Scott. I did everything I could. I did, and now I know it’s just not meant to be.”

  “I agree. I’ve never liked him. But I understand why you stuck around. I know you’re stubborn and you have to give everything you have into whatever you do. So, I get it. But I’m glad you’ve come to this conclusion.”

  “When should I do it?” I ask after a moment. “Break up with him, I mean?”

  “As soon as possible,” Mackenzie tells me. “You can’t drag this on any longer than you have.”

  She’s right, so I nod. We get our food and finish lunch within twenty minutes. We head to our next classes, and I prepare myself the entire time for my next conversation with Scott. When my classes for the day are over, I call him and ask for him to come over to my apartment. I change my clothes so I’m in gray sweatpants, a plain red t-shirt, with my hair up in a ponytail and my glasses on my face. Hopefully, if I don’t look as presentable, he won’t be as upset with me about the break up. Around six-thirty, there’s a knock at my door. I smile politely, let him in, and lead us to my bedroom. Scott smiles at me from the desk chair he sits in.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, I say, “So, we should talk.”

  “Sure, babe, what’s up?” he asks.

  Nibbling on my bottom lip, I mutter, “I know we’ve been kind of struggling lately, and I just think maybe we’ve done all we can to make it work.”

  “Where are you going with this?” he mumbles and runs a hand through his hair. “You’re not giving up, are you?”

  “I don’t have to give up. I did everything I could,” I insist. “It just isn’t there, Scott. I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t understand. We can get there again, Liv. We can.”

  I sigh, and hesitate, finally wanting to just get it over with, I say, “Scott, I… I can’t be with you. I have… I met someone. And I can’t be with you knowing that I’ve got feelings for him.”

  “What?” he snaps and stands suddenly. “Who is it? Did you fuck?”

  My eyes widen at his outburst. “What? No. I would never. I just… I’m sorry, okay?”

  “Fuck you, Liv,” he retorts angrily. “Fuck you and whoever the fuck you’re with. For the record? I cheated. Happy? I cheated every chance I got. It’s not my fault you’re a prude bitch.”

  “Get out, Scott!” I shout.

  “Gladly,” he mutters.

  He leaves my room, slamming the door. A moment later, I hear the front door slam as well. I climb into bed, pull the covers over me and plead with myself not to cry. However, the tears come. They come for all my wasted time, for the moments I could have had with someone else. Someone like Kyler.

  ◆◆◆

  I must fall asleep, because when I open my eyes, the sun is down. The light from the parking lot dimly shines a streak of light across my ceiling. I let out a breath, deciding not to move from the bed. My eyes close once more, and just as sleep begins to take me, I hear my door creak open.

  “I just want to be alone, Mack,” I mutter, my eyes trained on the window and my back to the door.

  “It’s not Mack,” a deep voice rumbles.

  I squeeze my eyes closed and whisper miserably, “Please, go away, Kyler.”

  “What happened, Livy?” he murmurs as my bed shifts under him.

  “Kyler, please,”

  He’s sitting, looking at me. I can feel his eyes on me. He puts a hand on my calf, the blanket the only thing between his skin and mine.

  “You missed practice. You didn’t call,” he explains quietly. “I tried calling. Even Dylan tried. Noah finally called Mackenzie, and she said you were upset. I came right over.”

  “You didn’t have to do that,” I mumbled as tears form in my eyes all over again.

  “You know I did,” he insists lowly. “Can I lay with you?”

  “No,”

  He’s silent for a moment. And then, “I’m going to anyway.”

  Before I can object, he slides under the covers with me. One of his arms slips under my neck while the other wraps around my middle. He pulls me into his chest, his forehead pressing against the back of my head. He’s wearing jeans, I can feel them rub against my legs. His arms are uncovered, and I briefly think about turning so I can see what color t-shirt he’s wearing.

  “What happened?” he whispers.

  “I broke up with Scott,” I mumble with a sniff. He doesn’t respond. After a while, I tell him, “I’m not upset about it. Not really. I guess I’m just upset that I wasted so much time for no reason, because I’m just so fucking stubborn. I could’ve spent that time… with anyone else.”

  “Why’d you do it?” he asks so quietly, I almost don’t hear him.

  “I just had to,” I tell him.

  His arm tightens around me as he lets out a breath, his face moving to my neck. “He didn’t hurt you or anything, right?”

  “I mean, he admitted he cheated. So, that sucked to hear, but I think I already knew,” I explain. “He wasn’t exactly nice about it, but I’m fine.”

  “I’m sorry you’re upset,” he murmurs. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

  I don’t reply. If anyone doesn’t deserve anyone it’s me not deserving Kyler. He’s sweet, funny, and so talented. He’s the best friend I have ever had. I lay quietly with his arms wrapped around me. I’m not sure how long we lay there, but eventually my eyes begin to close. I can hear his heart beating as his breathing deepens. Minutes pass, and we’re soon both fast asleep.

  “Livy,” sounds through my sleep. “Liv, I got to go.”

  I let out a tired moan and roll onto my back. Kyler’s sitting on the edge of my bed, his hair slightly messy and eyes tired. His hand moves to my knee under the cover.

  “You going to be okay?” he asks quietly.

  I nod groggily. “What time is it?”

  “About two in the morning,” he mutters. “I got to go home to bed.”

  “Okay,” I whisper in response.

  He looks me over before standing. Bending slightly, his lips run over my forehead softly.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” he murmurs and pushes the hair away from my face gently.

  I give him a tired smile and nod. He flashes a small smile over his shoulde
r before he slips out of the bedroom and closes the door behind him. I close my eyes and drift back to sleep, wishing he had stayed.

  ◆◆◆

  Chapter Eight

  Kyler

  “I’m nervous,” Alivia whispers to me as we stand backstage of our lecture hall.

  We’re minutes away from our performance for Professor Field’s class. Ayden is checking out his drumset while Dylan tunes up his guitar. Noah is on his laptop with his Beats over his ears. I shift my guitar strap off of my shoulder and place the guitar down on a stand. Pulling her under my arm, I give her shoulder a squeeze with my hand while she takes a deep breath.

  “It’s going to be fine,” I insist. “It’s just a class project, remember? Everyone will forget about it in a day or two.”

  “I should’ve went to smoke with Dylan,” she says with a short laugh.

  “Livy, you’ll do fine,” I assure her and turn her so we’re facing each other. Tipping her chin up so she looks at me, I add, “All you have to do is look at me. Okay? Look at me. Sing to me. Just like at practice. It’s just us. Forget about them.”

  “Sing to you,” she repeats, her eyes searching mine.

  “Yeah, Liv. Just you and me out there, okay? Your song is great. We’re going to be fucking awesome.”

  She lets out another breath and nods slowly. The group before us finishes their set. Ayden, Noah, Dylan, and I get our equipment set up. Alivia brings out two stools and places them in front of Noah’s stand. Ayden and Dylan slip backstage, and I set a microphone in front of each stool as Alivia sits down on one.

  “You and me,” I whisper to her.

  She gives me a nod. I sit down next to her, look back over my shoulder and give a small nod to Noah. Seconds later, he starts his remix of Closer by the Chainsmokers. His version makes the music slightly slower. I look over at Alivia.

  “Breathe,” I mouth.

  She does, letting out a breath. She watches me as I start singing the words. When her part comes, her eyes stay on me, and I smile to let her know how well she’s doing. When we sing together, the crowd cheers, and my heart beats faster in my chest. I’ve been singing with her several times a week for the entire semester, but never in front of a crowd. She’s fucking incredible and singing with her like this gives me the best feeling. It’s like we were made to be on stage together. We finish the song, the applause of the crowd giving me a slight adrenaline rush like it always does. I stand and give her a hug while she remains seated. Her arms wrap around me, her head hitting my chest.

  “So fucking good, Liv,” I murmur against her hair.

  “You were amazing,” she says in return.

  Ayden and Dylan replace Noah, my guitar is in my hands, and soon, we’re back in position. I give a smile to Alivia as Ayden starts the song on his drums. Alivia begins to sing before I do. She sings about loss and regret. The song that I know is about me even though she’ll never admit it. I sing with her when it gets to my verse. My heart is beating loudly in my ears when we finish the song. That’s my favorite part about performing on stage. The rush afterward. Professor Fields praises us for our good work, taking a final note in her notebook about us and releasing us. We carry our equipment off of the stage. Alivia immediately hugs me.

  My lips graze her temple while my arms hug her back. She pulls away a moment later to hug the rest of the guys. After all of the other performances, Ayden takes his drums while Dylan takes his guitar with Noah to the Challenger, and I take my guitar with me to my Jeep. Alivia comes with me after I offer her a ride home.

  “So, winter break starts after finals,” she says. “Are you excited?”

  I shrug. “I guess. It’ll be cool to see Mom.”

  “Yeah, my mom tends to be a bit overbearing, but I’m excited to see my grandpa,” she tells me.

  I know she’s from Illinois, so it’s unlikely I’ll be able to see her at all over break. However, if she asked me to drive the three plus hours to get to her, I would.

  “I’ll make sure to send you videos of gigs we do over there,” I say. “Although, without Oliver and Ayden around, we usually just do a lot of acoustic sets. They live at least an hour or so away. But we try to meet up as much as we can.”

  “Maybe I can drive out to see you?” she suggests softly.

  I smile down at her. “That’d be cool.”

  “What about Stella? Will you be able to see her at all?”

  The truth is, probably not. Our relationship isn’t exactly conventional. We’re exclusive, but it never was a serious commitment for either of us. Our relationship is essentially steady sex with each other. We hang out and have good times, but our conversations never get truly deep. We never even were the ones to label ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. Others did, like Noah and Alivia. We just never bothered to correct them. Living three states away from her doesn’t help the situation. We’ve been a bit distant lately, and adding the physical distance will likely cause the rift to deepen, even if break is only four weeks long.

  “She’s from Missouri,” I say to Alivia as we near my Jeep. “I don’t think we’ll be able to see each other at all over break.”

  “Oh,” she mutters. “That sucks, huh?”

  I shrug. “It’s a different kind of relationship, I guess. We haven’t really gotten all that serious.”

  “If you say so,”

  I ignore her insinuating tone and dig my keys out of my pocket. “When are you heading home then?”

  “Probably Thursday,” she answers me before climbing into the passenger side. I get into the driver’s seat and start the engine. She then adds, “My last final is at noon, so I’ll probably just head home after that.”

  I give a nod, turn onto the main road, and ask with a smirk, “You going to miss me?”

  She bites her bottom lip, her face serious. “You know I will.”

  “I’ll miss you, too, Liv,” I insist and put my hand on her thigh. “Just don’t forget to text me.”

  “I won’t,” she promises.

  We pull up to the apartment building a short ride later. We head up the stairs together, and I walk her to her door. I probably won’t be able to see her before she leaves, which sucks. I didn’t lie when I told her I’d miss her. I’d miss her like fucking crazy. I set my guitar bag down and pull her into my arms. She hugs me back, her arms wrapping around my waist.

  “You did great today,” I tell her. “Being up there with you… It felt right, you know?”

  She looks up at me, her chin in my chest. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

  Cupping her face in my hands, I kiss her forehead and step back, grabbing my guitar. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

  “Break will go by fast,” she assures me with a smile.

  “I know you’re lying,” I say as I head toward my apartment. Looking over my shoulder, I smile and add, “But I’ll play along with you.”

  We head inside our apartments at the same time. Winter break will be the longest four weeks of my life.

  ◆◆◆

  Kyler: Merry Christmas, Livy.

  Alivia: Merry Christmas, Kyler. Are you having a good break?

  It’s been about a week since break started, and she’s all I think about. We text regularly, but it’s beginning to not be enough for me.

  Kyler: It would be better if you didn’t live so far away.

  I slip my phone into my pocket after the reply sends. Noah comes from the kitchen into the living room, plopping down next to me on the couch. He looks me over, squints at me, and then smirks.

  “You’re texting Alivia again, aren’t you?” he jests.

  “So, what if I am?” I mutter and run a hand through my hair.

  “You only text her every second of the day.”

  I roll my eyes. “That’s a bit exaggeratory, don’t you think?”

  “If you don’t fuck her, I will,” he smarts back.

  In the next moment, I have him pinned on the floor. His arms are held by my hands behind his back while his
face presses into the hardwood. He winces when I reach up and smack the back of his head.

  “I’ll fucking kick your ass,” I laugh out as he struggles under me.

  “Get off of me,” he snaps before wriggling free and rolling onto his back to punch me in the stomach.

  “Fuck,” I gasp out and curve forward in pain. “Don’t be a bitch. Hit me like you mean it.”

  “You’re fucking crazy,” he laughs and goes to hit me again.

  This time I block him and hit him harder in his stomach so he knows how it feels. He curls into a fetal position. I hit him again in his bicep just for good measure right as my mom walks in.

  “Kyler Michael,” she rebukes as soon as her eyes take in the situation. “You get off of him this instant.”

  “He started it,” I insist as I climb off of Noah who then sits up from the floor.

  “Bullshit,” Noah snaps in response.

  “Bullshit on your bullshit,” I retort.

  My mom puts her hands on her hips and scolds, “Language, boys. Enough.”

  Mom walks over to me and dusts off my plaid shirt. When Noah stands, she does the same to him.

  “I don’t know what to do with you two,” Mom sighs out with a shake of her head. “I hope you’re acting like mature adults staying in that apartment of yours.”

  Noah and I both smirk. An occasional fight breaks out between us. It comes with the territory of having to live with each other. I only hit him hard enough to bleed once, though, since moving into the apartment, and I had good reason for it. Usually Dylan was the one to separate us, but he also tended to let the physical violence go on longer than my mom.

  “Please, behave once everyone gets here, okay?” Mom implores with us softly.

  I’m a sucker for my mom. She’s all I ever had until she met Conner, Noah’s dad. Then, we had them and their family. Noah’s grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins all became mine, too. It was the family we never had.