Educating Callie

by Emma Jayne Mills

  “That’s the plan Angel.” he winked and began to pepper two huge steaks, while I had a mini panic attack about his words.

  It turned out Adam was pretty fantastic in the kitchen. He cooked the steak to melt in the mouth perfection and even made his own onion rings. Seriously, the man knew how to make batter. And the fact that he had cooked a proper meal and not one of those namby pamby no more than a mouthful on the plate meals went a long way in my book.

  “That. Was. Fantastic!” I said, topping up our wine glass and feeling fit to burst.

  “I’m glad you liked it.” He smiled as he laced his fingers through mine and led me from the kitchen to the living room. We sat, close together, on the huge blue sectional sofa and talked effortlessly. When it was like this I could forget the way he’d reacted over my seeing Jase and I got a glimpse of the real Adam, my Adam. Mine. Ha! Now I sounded like him.

  “So, since when do you have a key to my house?” I pried in an attempt to stop my mind from going into overdrive.

  “Cam gave it to me today. It’s a safety precaution Angel. I’m not trying to check up on you or own you or anything like that. But now that the gifts don’t seem to be from Jase and after the messages you got, we’re covering every angle.” he defended quickly. “Greg, Mick and Vinnie also have them. Greg and Vinnie handed out keys to their places too.”

  “It’s so strange having to think this way, that we might not even be safe in our own homes anymore.” I said, leaning into him. “Thank you, for being there and looking out for us.”

  “No thanks necessary.” he said and kissed my forehead then lifted my chin to look into my eyes. “Talk to me Angel, all this stuff with your parents coming to light must be so confusing for you. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

  “You shouldn’t try and get inside my head Adam, it’s too dark for you.” I told him. New information and old whirled through my mind constantly; I couldn’t even make sense of it myself.

  “Angel, I’m already there. I’ve been there since the second we met. I’m in your head the same way you’re in mine. We’re fighting this darkness together, remember?” Adam already had many of the details of my abduction, more than I’d given anyone else.

  “It’s him Adam. I know it’s him. He’s back and it’s me he wants.” I said quietly.

  “Angel, we don’t know anything for sure yet.” he gave me the usual spiel.

  “Don’t Adam, please don’t sugar coat it for me. I expect it from Cam and even Greg, but not you. I can’t take it from you.” I pleaded with him.

  “I’m sorry Angel, I try not to, I just don’t want you worrying about this. When I see that haunted look in your eyes all I want to do is make it go away.” Adam said as he pulled me closer to him.

  “And you do Adam, you help more than you know. But I need one person, you, to be straight with me. I feel like I’m going insane half the time!”

  “There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of crazy.” he smiled. “But I promise, from now on, I won’t bullshit you. I’m still going to tell you not to worry though.”

  “You believe he’s back?”

  “I believe there are too many coincidences for it not to be him. And now with your Dad’s files and what I read in them, I do think there’s more to all this than the detectives are picking up.” He admitted and rather than fill me with dread, his words actually gave me a feeling of relief, that it wasn’t just my messed up head making up stories and blowing it all out of proportion.

  “Did you read them?”

  “I did. Your Dad believed your Aunt knew her killer. There were no signs of struggle in her flat, no signs of a break in. She let whoever killed her in. And she lived in Marbledon yes?”

  I nodded, “I don’t know where but yes.”

  “And that’s the closest town to the house he took you to.” Adam was cautious, watching me to gage my reaction.

  “Oh my God your right. And now he’s started leaving the bodies there.” I gasped.

  “It still doesn’t give us much and it’s all circumstantial, but I can’t help think it’s all connected and that your Aunt’s murderer, your abductor and whoever is killing now are the same person and also...” Adam trailed off making me look up at him.

  “What? What is it?” I demanded.

  “Your parents. Their deaths are too close to the case for them to be accidental in my opinion.”

  “I think so too.” I admitted quietly.

  “Cam agrees. We just can’t prove it, your Dad didn’t have all the information. He believed it was someone in town, someone they knew, but that’s as far as he got.” He explained, never having read the files myself I had no idea what my Dad had found out.

  My mind, buzzing with new information, slipped into memories and Adam sat back and gave me a nudge with his shoulder, encouraging me to talk to him. So I let the words spill from me like a waterfall.

  “I don’t know what freaked me out more, the fact that I never heard him speak or that I never saw his face. Not that either of those things could have made it any better, but it sticks in my head because of the way it made me feel. More so than the pain, more than the isolation. The scars from his knife have mostly faded, I don’t get flashbacks every time I look at my reflection anymore. The pain I can forget. But the way he made me feel? That will stay with me forever. The terror I felt when I heard his footsteps on the stairs, wondering if this was it. Was it finally my time to die? The hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach when he turned those empty eyes on me from behind the mask. My frustration and desperation when I screamed at him to speak, to answer me, at least tell me why. The feelings will never fade. And I don’t have a reason for any of it or a face to connect it to, to get angry with or blame. And now I know there could be so much more to it all than I ever thought, yet I don’t know what to think or feel about any of that because none of it is certain. There’s still nothing that allows me to make sense of it all.” I was wringing my shaking hands together in my lap; Adam reached over and took them, weaving our fingers together, grounding me and calming the shaking.

  “You Angel, are the bravest, strongest most incredible woman I have ever met. You could have given up. You could have crumbled and let the darkness consume you. But you didn’t, you fought. You continue to fight every second of every day. You refuse to let him win. He didn’t break you, because you won’t give him that kind of power over you. You are proof that you can walk through hell and come out the other side an angel. My beautiful, powerful, snow angel.” His words stilled me. How could he possibly look at me and see all that?

  “I don’t feel strong or brave or any of those things. I’m tired Adam. Tired of living in the darkness. Tired of being afraid. Tired of being strong. Tired of fighting. I don’t want to fight anymore. For once I want to be fought for. Just for a little while.” I admitted. I knew I was allowing myself to be defeated, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to step back and let someone else carry it all for a while.

  “I’m fighting for you Angel. I’ll always be here to fight with you and for you. I will fight every day by your side. I’ll stay in the shadows when you want me to. But when you need me, when you get tired, I’ll step out of the shadows and protect what’s mine. Together, just like we promised.” He hooked his arm around me and rested his chin on my head. “You with me Angel?”

  “Always.” I whispered.

  *****

  I’d done it again. Used Adam as a body pillow. Sprawled all over him. Legs all tangled up with his. Hands bunched up inside his shirt. Yes. Inside. His. Shirt. You heard me. My hands were on his bare skin. I’d pulled a Callie good and proper. Oh giant fucking shit balls!

  “Morning!” an amused voice came from above us.

  “Cam,” I groaned as I pried my eyes open. Even bigger shit balls!

  “Morning.” Adam said, pulling me closer to him and rubbing his hands over my back as though this was a normal, everyday occurrence.

  “Good night?” Cam asked and I could hear t
he smirk in his voice. That dick!

  “Perfect.” Adam replied, his arms tightening as I tried to pull myself away from him. “Going somewhere Angel?”

  I groaned and laid my head back down on his chest heavily, “Obviously not.”

  “Coffee?” Cam called from the kitchen.

  “Strong!” I replied refusing to look at Adam.

  “Just when I think I’m getting somewhere you close off again. Will you ever stop running from me Angel?” he asked me quietly, running his fingers through my hair.

  “Is it enough that I think I want to?” I admitted. I knew he deserved more, but it was all I could give him.

  “It’s enough.” His arms tightened around me again and he leaned down to kiss the top of my head, “You didn’t have a nightmare.”

  “Never do with you.” I whispered, relaxing into his chest.

  *****

  Twin 2: You do realise sis, that the only time you will ever be the same height as Adam is when you’re lying down? Dude is going to have serious back problems in years to come.

  Me: Zero Cameron. ZERO funny!

  *****

  Me: Oops!

  Liv: Again? FFS! Witch, just shag him and get it over with.

  Me: Good talk Olive.

  I had opened the pub for breakfast; something new Mick and I were giving a trial run. We’d devised a small breakfast style menu including tea, coffee, pastries and fresh juices. I was able to do some of the baking myself in the pub kitchen but the pastries we had ordered in from Bea who owned the bakery in town. There was nowhere in Frost Ford that offered anything similar, so, although it was late for breakfast at 11am, we had cornered the market and it was doing well. Adam sat at the bar having driven me to work, he was on nights that night so wasn’t going into work that morning and had stayed for breakfast. Mick sat next to him reading a newspaper while I was behind the bar serving. I was busy laying out a coffee cake and various muffins at one end of the bar for the customers to choose from.

  “Morning.” A familiar, heavily accented voice rumbled from behind me as I placed mine and Adam’s shared cup down between us. I turned to find Jared, Mick’s younger brother (younger making him the same age as me), dressed only in grey pyjama pants, framed in the doorway that led to upstairs. Jet black hair the same shade as Mick’s but longer, to his shoulders, hung messily around his face. He rubbed his pretty green eyes, squinting and yawning.

  “Red!” I cried and flung myself at him, making a sound I’m pretty sure could only be heard by dogs. He caught me and staggered back a step, laughing.

  “Jaysus are you a sight for sore eyes.” He murmured in his Irish accent against my hair as his arms squeezed me tightly. “Missed you beautiful girl.”

  “Missed you more.” I grinned like a maniac as we pulled back to look at each other.

  “Put some fecking clothes on brother!” Mick grumbled across the bar without looking up from the paper he was reading.

  “Gorgeous as ever.” He charmed, ignoring Mick. Jared flirted with me and the other girls a lot. He joked that if any woman could turn him it would be me, but we both knew Vinnie was more his type. I’d noticed a spark between them when Jared had been over the last time, but Vinnie had denied it completely.

  “Hang on a second...” he narrowed his eyes and held my face in his hands, looking into my eyes, he addressed Mick. “What the hell? What’s going on here Mikey?”

  “I warned you.” Mick replied with a sigh, turning the page of his newspaper.

  “What?” I squirmed in his grasp.

  “You never said it was this bad. Shit! When did this happen?” I assumed he was still talking to Mick, but his eyes hadn’t left mine.

  “Do you really need an answer to that?” Mick answered.

  “Are you two speaking in code?” I frowned, moving away from him.

  “Your light went out beautiful.” Jared said quietly and pulled me back to him. Shit! Not hiding it as well as I thought after all.

  The screech of wood across the tiled floor alerted us to Adam standing abruptly and pushing his stool back from the bar. “I’ve gotta go in to work after all.” He said, turning to leave. Not even glancing in my direction.

  “Later mate.” Mick frowned thoughtfully at Adam’s back as he walked away.

  “Something I said?” Jared joked, rubbing his hand across his bare stomach.

  “Ah, of course.” Mick said, looking at me and tilting his head towards the door Adam had left swinging behind him.

  “What?” I questioned.

  “Get after him woman.” Mick said as if it should be obvious.

  “Why? He’ll be back later.” I said, oblivious.

  “Just trust me on this love.” Mick said as Jared obviously clocked on to something I was missing.

  “Go.” Jared slapped my backside playfully. “And then get yer sexy arse back here and tell me all about the hot new man in yer life.”

  “It’s just Adam.” I mumbled as I wandered out from behind the bar and towards the front door.

  Out in the street I stopped and looked towards the police station, Adam was about to cross the road. Unsure what Mick and Jared actually expected me to do; I called out to him and started along the footpath towards him.

  “Adam.” He stopped and turned, waiting for me to catch up. “You okay?” I asked.

  “Fine.” he snapped and I frowned.

  “You erm , you left really quickly. I thought you weren’t going in to work? You didn’t say goodbye. Like, I dunno you were mad or something?” I fumbled.

  “Nope, not mad. Stupid maybe, but not mad.” He turned to go and I reached out and grabbed his belt loop, hooking my finger through it and pulling him back towards me.

  “Adam?” I questioned.

  “I have a mountain of paperwork to do Callie.” He said, sounding impatient.

  “Callie?” I was shocked. I don’t think I had heard him use my name since the night we met. And in all honesty, it hurt to not hear my nickname. I wracked my brains for something to say, but came up short.

  “Is that not your name?” he looked at me finally, sighing loudly, like I was wasting his time.

  “Not to you it’s not.” I muttered, looking at the floor as my hand fell from his belt loop. I hadn’t realised until that moment just how much the nickname had meant to me. It was just a word though. A silly private joke about the night we met and my ridiculous appearance on his doorstep in the middle of the night. And nicknames didn’t really mean anything did they? Okay, fine, I could deal with this. He had just well and truly friend zoned me, but that was alright, that was what I wanted. Wasn’t it?

  “Look Adam, I erm...I just want you to know that, well, thank you.” I sputtered, fiddling with the sleeves on my sweatshirt.

  “For?” He frowned.

  “Everything. I mean, that is, the last few months. Everything with Jase and Amy, the night we met, being there for me. Chasing the nightmares away. Fighting the darkness with me. Protecting me. I don’t think, no, I know I couldn’t have gotten through it without you. You’ve done so much for me and you didn’t even know me. I was just some crazy woman who turned up on your doorstep ranting and raving. You didn’t have to do any of it. But you did. I know that I’m moody and guarded and not always very nice to you, but you still did it. All of it. Without question. So I wanted to say thank you. And I wanted you to know that I noticed. I noticed all the little things you did for me and I appreciated them. I appreciate you Adam. But you don’t have to keep doing it, not if you don’t want to. I mean I know in a way it’s your job, some of it at least, but you shouldn’t feel obligated. So you can stop now. If you want to.” I breathed finally. How was that for waffle of the century? Nick would be so proud of me right now.

  Adam’s thumb and forefinger came up and lifted my chin until our eyes met, because apparently I was still looking at the floor.

  “Angel.” He smiled and I sighed in relief at the sound of my nickname on his lips, not realising how close I had been
to tears. “It’s good to finally hear that I matter to you as much as you do to me.”

  “You do Adam. You really do. You have no idea how important you are to me.” I confessed quietly. I may have only just realised it mid ramble, but in the short time since we met, Adam had become one of the most important people in my life.

  “Save me a slice of that coffee cake okay? I’ll be back in later.” He pulled me in for a hug and I locked my arms around his waist not wanting to let go.

  “The biggest piece.” I promised to his chest and I heard Dana’s giggling inside my mind when he leant down and kissed my forehead.

  “And for the record, you’ll always be my Snow Angel.” He told me before he turned to cross the road.

  *****

  “So how long can you stay?” I asked Jared as we worked the bar together while Mick did paperwork in his office.

  “Ah, you don’t get rid of me that easily. We’ve got business to discuss, an empire to build. I’m here for good!” He announced with a grin.

  “Really? You’re really staying? We’re actually doing this?” I bounced on the balls of my feet excitedly. I resisted the urge to mentally berate myself for getting excited when I would probably be dead soon and they’d be doing it all without me. Ugh! Get a grip Callindra!

  “That we are. That and hopefully a certain tall dark and tattooed someone.” He winked at me.

  “Vinnie?” I screeched “Seriously? You and Vin? That would be so good!”

  “Shush”” Jared clamped a hand over my mouth, “I said hopefully. Nothing is set in stone. He doesn’t even know I’m here yet. Let’s just say I fecked up last time I was over and there is every chance he won’t even give me the time of day.”

  “Mmm-hmmm.” I nodded eagerly and mumbled against his hand. He laughed and removed it. I knew he and Vinnie had flirted and gone out in the past but had no idea it went further than that. “How did you fuck up?”

  “Got scared and ran for the hills.” He shrugged.

  “So, man stuff, can’t admit your feelings?” I surmised, realising it sounded familiar. Especially after the little epiphany I’d had that morning.