Pioneer Love: Damaged Hearts Head West: Mail Order Bride 5 Bundle

by Indiana Wake

  Jolene put her head in her hands and began shaking. Ryan knew she was crying and so he got up and went to her. Hesitantly, he put a hand on her shoulder and even though she jumped slightly, she didn't shrug it off. Feeling hopeful he squeezed her shoulder. "Don't worry about Anna,” he said. “She'll come around. She was just caught off guard by all this, is all. You shouldn't worry."

  Jolene lifted her head and looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I couldn't tell her Ryan, I just couldn't. She will hate me for not telling her about the engagement being called off, but I just can't face her and tell her about what happened. I'm a coward, but I just can't." She began to cry again, burying her face in her hands.

  Ryan patted her back, soothingly, trying to give her comfort however he could. "I understand, Jo, I do and eventually Anna will get over it, too. She just needs time to process that you might have a life outside of her now. She will be fine with it; you know she's not one to hold a grudge."

  Sniffling, Jolene looked back up at him with a watery smile. "You think so?” she asked. “We'll be fine?"

  "Absolutely. Now enough crying." He gently lifted two fingers and wiped the tears from under her eyes. Jolene blushed at this gesture of comfort and concern and Ryan went a little red in the neck as well. He got up from in front of her and went back to his food and they sat eating their food in companionable silence.

  Chapter 9

  Over the next week, Jolene and Anna walked around each other like two barnyard cats. They flashed eyes, spoke in short, sharp, busts, and Ryan felt as if they would fly at each other at a moment’s notice. It made him sad because he knew both were hurting. If Anna understood what the problem was she would help Jolene, but Jo could not let her in.

  Jolene felt guilty for not telling her best friend what had happened to her, but she just couldn't bear the thought of Anna’s pity. Every day she tried to shrug off the whole thing. Tried to pull Anna into a conversation or get her to do something with her but Anna was extremely hurt by her secretiveness and wasn't ready to go back to how things were.

  As a result, Jolene began to spend a lot more time with Ryan. She found him kind, understanding, and most of all safe. He listened when she ranted about Anna and always had supporting words to say and hopes to bestow. In desperation one day Jolene suggested that maybe she should just go back home. It caused fear to churn in her stomach but the last thing she wanted was to upset Anna.

  Ryan was angry. “You will not go home,” he said. “It is out of the question, until something is sorted about that beast of a man.”

  Jolene felt so warmed by his support. She knew he would not let her go back to that monster of a man. Feeling much happier she agreed to stay, for despite the difficulty with Anna this was the best place she could be.

  Jolene was growing closer to Ryan and was spending most of her time with him. This did not go unnoticed by the other members of the household.

  Anna saw Jolene and Ryan whispering together and spending so much time in each other’s company. She was jealous that her friend was now spending more time with her brother-in-law than she did with her. But more than that, she felt that Jonathan was being cheated.

  She truly believed that Jolene and Jonathan were meant to be with one another and that some silly misunderstanding or nerves had made her friend run off. She didn't want her friend to make a mistake by giving up the love of her life and she knew sooner or later the two would work it out. She also didn't want Ryan to get his hopes up. It was obvious to her that he was falling for Jolene’s charms. Well, what man wouldn’t? She could see the way he looked at her, the way he cared for her and smiled at everything she did or said.

  One afternoon, a couple of weeks after her fight with Jolene, Anna cornered Ryan and took him to his study to talk. "Ryan, I love you like I would my own brother and that is why I am saying this,” Anna said. “Don't get attached to Jolene."

  Ryan looked at her in surprise. "Why ever not?” he said. “She is not engaged and quite frankly whether we do or not is not of your concern."

  Anna sighed with frustration. "You do not know her like I do,” she said. “Sooner or later she will get back together with Jonathan. You didn't see the two of them together, Ryan. They have always been inseparable and whatever this misunderstanding is between them, it will get cleared up. Then you will be here, left alone, broken-hearted. I don't want it to come to that, for you are like my brother."

  Ryan looked away. "It is too late to preach now, dear sister,” He said softly. “I have already fallen in love with her. I don't know if she will ever want me but I love her with all my life and all my heart. I will protect her and be there for her, no matter what form she accepts me in, even if it is just as a friend."

  Anna looked at her brother-in-law sadly and finally let out a deep breath of regret. "I'm sorry, Ryan. I should've warned you sooner. I just thought that with her being engaged, it wouldn't be a problem. I hope you don't get too hurt when she is back with Jonathan.” Anna turned to leave, but looked back over her shoulder. How much hurt had she brought into this good man’s life. “I am always here if you need to talk," she said before reaching forward and squeezing his hand. Then she turned and slipping out of the door.

  As much as it pained Ryan he ground his teeth together and remained quiet. It was not right but it was best to let Anna feel sorry for him. It was the first time he had admitted that he loved Jolene and now the words wer out he knew they were true. He would always love her and protect her and if all he could ever be was a friend… Then so be it. Jo would take time to heal, he knew that but maybe one day he would have a hope. But even if he never had hope he would keep her safe. Would give her time to get over what she had been through. Maybe one day he would tell her he loved her but it would not be soon.

  Anna squeezed his hand in a gesture of comfort and left the room. He left behind her and was surprised to see Jolene standing outside the door. He jumped and looked at her guiltily, wondering if she had heard anything and what her reaction would be. Thankfully, she smiled at him.

  "I was just coming to ask you if you wanted to go for a ride again,” she asked looking wistfully down the hallway at Anna’s retreating back as she limped away. “The weather is lovely this afternoon and I do so want to go for a ride."

  Ryan scrutinized her expression to get an inkling if she had heard or not but after a thorough examination, he concluded that she had not and so, smiling at her, he agreed. "I'd love to. Will Anna be joining us," he gestured towards Anna, who was just turning the corner, leaving.

  Jolene looked sad. "Anna didn't reply or accept my offer. She's still mad at me."

  Ryan put a hand, soothingly, on her shoulder and looked deep into her eyes. "She will get over this,” he said. “And soon you both won't even remember what it was you were fighting about… But maybe it would come quicker if you confided in her. Or at least told her some of the reason why you broke up with Jonathan.” Even saying that man’s name made Ryan wince and he watched Jolene flinch. But she soon put a smile back on her face.

  “Maybe one day,” she said but not today. Can we please go for a ride?”

  Ryan nodded and turned away. Looking back over his shoulder he called. “Come along now, I believe I have a race to win."

  It brought a smile to her face and joy to his heart. After all he had a surprise for her in the stables.

  Anna rushed towards Lighter’s stall and stopped suddenly. “Where is Lighter?” she asked.

  Ryan tried to stop the grin form breaking out across his face. “He is further down there look,” he said pointing. “This is Summer; she is yours if you will have her.” He waited his breath held as Jolene looked into the stable.

  Her eyes widened in wonder as she looked at the beautiful appaloosa. Her white coat shone and across her rump was a number of palm sized brown spots. Her head was fine, her eyes kind and Ryan knew she was fast.

  “I love her,” Jolene said and she turned and placed a kiss on his cheek.

  Ryan felt
as if his heart had stopped. Had she said she loved him? Then his brain reengaged and he knew she meant the horse. At least he had made her smile and this one he knew was genuine. Not the half, false smiles she had been wearing for a lot of this visit.

  Chapter 10

  Two days after Anna had pulled Ryan aside to give him "the talk,” they were all sitting in the private living room. It was raining outside and had been the entire day. A storm like this hadn't been seen for over a year and as a result everyone was cooped up inside until the rain let up.

  Ryan, Jolene, and Ian were playing a game and Anna was sitting in the corner engrossed in a book. Ian was laughing as Ryan tried to explain how to play cards to Jolene. She was making faces behind Ryan's back much to Ian's amusement. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

  A servant came in. "Sorry to interrupt,” he said, “but there is a visitor here for Miss Tisdale."

  At the announcement, Anna sank low into her sofa and hid behind her book, even though no one was paying any attention to her. Ryan and Jolene looked at each other, surprise on their faces.

  Still looking at her, Ryan said, "Send them in."

  The door opened and a tall, handsome man, with golden hair and deep blue eyes walked in. There was an air of arrogance about him as he glanced around the room until his eyes found Jolene. A smirk raised his lip and he stepped towards her. Jolene shrank into her seat, fear engraved on her face.

  Ryan took one look at her and stood up, placing himself in front of her. Anger poured off of him and he growled at the man, "Who are you?"

  The man looked at Ryan's stance and his set jaw. "I'm Jonathan and I'm Jolene's fiancé,” he spat out. “Who are you and what gives you the right to be so close to MY Jolene?"

  Ryan tensed ready to leap forward and tear the man limb from limb. Many a night he had imagined this meeting. Had imagined how he would make him pay for what he had done to that sweet girl. He took a menacing step towards Jonathan but was stopped by a gentle hand on his arm. He looked down to see Jolene’s sweet face staring up at him and it calmed his heart.

  “Leave this to me,” she said.

  Jonathan looked from Jolene to Ryan with suspicious eyes but before he could say anything, Jolene marched towards him.

  "I am not your fiancé,” she said. “You lost that right after what you did. Understand I'll go to hell and back before I would ever agree to marry you.”

  Jonathan cowered back as if her very words were like body blows, but Jolene wasn’t finished,

  “How could you show your face after what you did to me? How could you and how did you know where to find?” she demanded.

  Jonathan looked at Anna with surprise and then turned back to her."Why Anna wrote to me, told me where you were and how much you missed me. The minute I read her letter, I was on the next train here."

  Jolene turned to Anna with a look of utter betrayal on her face.

  "I can explain,” Anna said her face red and flushed with guilt. “Please let me explain."

  "I told you it was over,” Jolene yelled, “and that I wasn't going to get back with him. How could you do this to me and behind my back on top of it? You have no idea how much I despise this man. Anna you were supposed to be my friend and yet you brought this monster here where I thought I was safe!" Jolene turned in a flurry of taffeta and ran out of the door, tears streaming down her face.

  Ryan looked at Anna with disgust and turned to head after Jolene. He was almost out the door when Jonathan grabbed him by the arm and stopped him.

  "That is my future wife out there,” Jonathan said icily, “and I should be the one chasing after her, not you. So, back off, pretty boy."

  Ryan saw red. Without saying a word, he pulled back his arm and punched the monster so hard in the face that Jonathan landed in a sprawling heap ten feet away from where he stood.

  Anna shrieked, “What did you do that for, Ryan?"

  Ryan turned angrily on Anna and took a step towards her.

  Ian stood in front of her, eye to eye, toe to toe with his brother. "Calm down, brother,” he said. “She didn't mean any harm."

  "You want me to calm down? Do you have any idea what this sick monster did to Jolene? He…” Ryan had made a promise he would not say it, would not. But it was so hard that the words just came from him. “A month before their wedding and he beat her and then used her. He'll be lucky if I let him leave here alive!"

  Anna's face had gone white as ash and she dropped to the floor clinging to Ian's arm, a look of sheer despair on her face. Ian himself looked sick to his stomach.

  Ryan needed to go find Jo but he had to do one thing first. Slowly he walked over to where Jonathan lay on the floor. As he got closer the man raised his arms as if afraid. Ryan wanted to beat him, to kick him and even to fetch the rifle from above the fire and put a bullet between his eyes. But that would be wrong and he prayed that what he was about to do was right. Not for him or Jonathan but for Jolene. "When I get back, you'd best be gone,” he snarled. Raising a fist he watched the man cower. He punched out but stopped just before his knuckles kissed the already broken nose. “If I find you still here, you'll have a lot more broken than your nose." And with that he ran out of the door and after Jolene.

  Chapter 11

  Ryan searched all the rooms and asked the maids and servants. Finally, when he couldn't find her anywhere, he went to the main door. It was hanging open and rain was pouring in the lodge. With a sinking feeling, Ryan ran out the door, calling out for her as loud as he could. Was history repeating itself? Would she have run away just like Anna once did?

  Rain was pouring down in rivulets and Ryan couldn't see very far. The lantern would be no use to him in this weather. Trusting his instincts, he set out calling for her, praying and hoping she hadn't gone far.

  He looked all around but couldn't find her. Finally, soaked to the skin he thought that maybe she had sought solace with the horses. He moved toward the stables, calling out for her. Finally, he walked in, soaking wet from head to toe. He peered into the darkness and at the end he could make out a figure huddled on the ground. Slowly, he approached her and when he was sufficiently close, he called out softly, "Jo, Jolene, is that you?"

  The sniffling stopped and she stood up, backing away from him. There was another exit near her and Ryan was afraid she might run out. Taking small steps, he approached her, hands in front of him as one would try to get near a spooked horse.

  "Jo, Jolene, I won't hurt you, you are safe here,” he whispered softly. “Trust me, I would never hurt you. I won't touch you if you don't want me to. I just need you to listen to me that is all. Can you do that, please?"

  Jolene nodded her head and Ryan took another small step towards her, "Jonathan is gone. He can't hurt you anymore. You don't have to hide or run, he's gone."

  Jolene looked at him with desperation in her eyes. “For how long, Ryan?” she sobbed. “Eventually I will have to go back and he will be there. I can't escape him forever."

  Ryan now stood right in front of her. Hesitantly, asking permission with his gaze, he lifted his hands and gently placed them on her shoulder. He looked at her with his green eyes filled with concern. "You don't ever have to go if you don't want to,” he said. “You can live here, at the lodge. No one would mind and Anna would be very happy to have you."

  Jolene looked up at him, as he watched she seemed to calm. It was as if she saw the truth in his face. He willed that she did and willed that she could see so much more than his words could say.

  Jolene blushed at the unspoken things his eyes were communicating. "Why would you do that for me?” she asked. “It would be inappropriate for me to stay. Why would you want to do that to your reputation?"

  Ryan felt heat creep up his neck and flood his cheeks with color. "I would do anything for you," he said.

  "But, why?"

  "Because I love you, Jo. I am in love with you and I would do anything for you, even give my own life if needed. I don't expect anything in return and I am perfec
tly all right being your friend if that is what you want. I just want you to know you can always trust me and that I will always look out for you. You will have a place in our home for as long as you chose."

  Jolene's heart soared at his words and the sincerity that she saw in his eyes. She had grown close to him over the weeks and she trusted him, explicitly. She had begun to feel something for him since the first time he heard her play, but she had been too afraid to admit it, even to herself. Her experience with Jonathan had made her wary of all men.

  As she looked into his eyes, she saw the love for her that she now realized she had never seen in Jonathan's. Ryan was a kind, loving, caring man, who looked after the well-being of every single life he came across. She thought of a life in which she didn't have Ryan to share her day with or debate with or have long races with and her heart broke a little at such an empty picture.

  Somewhere along the way, Ryan had crossed her defenses and made her trust in life and in love again. She hadn't realized it until just that minute. How very much she too had fallen in love with him and now that he had said he loved her too, she felt all her walls come crashing down.

  She looked up at him, a blush caressing her cheeks. "Ryan, I love you too,” she said. “Somehow I fell for you without even realizing it but the truth is that I love you."

  Ryan stared back at her in total shock. It was as if he had died and woken up in a heaven. He had never expected that she would ever love him back. He closed his open mouth."I'm sorry, I think I misheard you. Did you just say you love me?"

  Despite the situation, Jolene laughed and said, "Yes, Mr. Ryan Gellman. I love you, I love you, I love you."

  Ryan smiled the brightest smile he had ever smiled and picked her up in his arms and twirled her around. She giggled at this turn of events. Slowly, he put her down and looked at her with a love so profound that she felt herself melting on the spot.