When I Fall

by J. Daniels

  “I want this,” he says, moving his finger along my cheek, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. “Whatever this is between us, I want it. I can’t stop thinking about you. I haven’t been with anyone else since you kissed me that first time. I don’t want to be.”

  I smile, leaning into his hand as it caresses my face. “I want this too. So much.”

  He stares at me thoughtfully, looking all over my face. “Beth, I’ll never hurt you, but you could very easily hurt me. I can’t want you more than I want you right now. I can’t. What we’ve been together when it’s just been us, that’s what I’m offering you.” His other hand cups my face. He inches me closer. “You and me. You understand?”

  I look back at this man, at the pain he’s lived with that burns slow beneath the charming exterior I fell for. He loved that girl, and she made a fool out of him. He’s worried I’ll do the same thing.

  God, I hate her. How could she hurt him?

  I could never do that to Reed. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted, even if he’s scared to give it to me right now. He needs to see that I’ll never hurt him, and it could take time, but I want time with him. I want this. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want this. I can show him that I’m not like her, that he can love me without fear. He can love me.

  No one will ever love you the way I do.

  I shut out Rocco’s voice and press my lips against Reed’s. “You and me. Let’s do it.”

  “Yeah?” He slides his hands down my back, cupping my ass, smiling when I nod vigorously. He kisses my chin. “I haven’t been a boyfriend in nine years. I might suck at it.”

  “You were a good fake boyfriend.”

  He rolls his eyes, laughing. “I still can’t believe you roped me into that shit. Jesus.”

  I punch his chest. “I didn’t rope you into it! You agreed on your own, remember? At the pizza place? You came outside and dropped the whole ‘you and me’ line. That was all you. I was set on going to that party alone.”

  In one quick motion, I’m flipped onto my back and he’s settled on top of me, his weight pressing me into the mattress.

  “All me? Sweetheart, I had spent the past three days stroking my cock, thinking about nothing but you and that damn kiss. Then you walk in looking hot as shit, smiling at me like you do, reminding me how completely fucked I was over you already. You roped me in, Beth. You did it the second I looked at you that night at McGill’s, and you did it again when I saw you that day at Sal’s. I would’ve agreed to anything just to spend more time with you, but that was all you. Nobody else would’ve gotten to me like that.”

  Goodness. Filthy and sweet. I don’t stand a chance here.

  My face feels ready to split wide open with the smile I’m holding in, until I see the somber look wash over Reed’s face. I brush his hair out of his eyes. “What’s the matter?”

  He opens his mouth, pinches it closed again, hesitating, then sighs.

  “Reed, what?” I urge him.

  “I want to know what happened after your mom died.” His hand keeps my head from turning away, forcing me to look at him. “Don’t. This might be hard for you to talk about, I get that, but it’s going to be real fucking hard for me to hear it. I don’t like thinking you were alone, Beth. I want to know what you went through, all of it, and I want you looking at me.”

  I nod against his hand, swallowing back my reluctance. He’s shared things with me that weren’t easy for him to talk about. Walking in on Molly with that other guy. The proposal. It’s only right I do the same.

  He settles on his side, tucking me close to his warm body, keeping his eyes on me as I roll over to face him. His hand strokes my arm, a fluid, soothing motion that calms my mind.

  I wet my lips, staring into his eyes. “My momma was a drug addict. That’s how she died. It was sudden, and not something I could’ve prepared for. I didn’t have enough money lying around to stay in the trailer we lived in, so I packed up everything I could fit into my car and I moved into that.” I touch his hand on my arm that had gone still. “Can you keep doing that?”

  He blinks several times, nods, then continues the path his hand was taking.

  “I ran out of money pretty fast,” I continue. “But it was the loneliness that scared me, not starving to death. I hated not having anyone to talk to. It’s why I freaked out last night and begged you to stay on the phone with me. I got home, saw that note, and I panicked.”

  “You told me you didn’t live in your car that long. What happened?”

  Inhaling deeply, I shift my head closer to him on the pillow. “Please understand this, Reed, I hated being alone. I was terrified I’d never have anyone to talk to again. When someone finally did talk to me, and bought me food, and offered me a place to stay, I took it. I know it sounds crazy moving in with a stranger, but I did what I had to do.” I drop my eyes to a spot between us. “I only lived with him for a couple months before I found out about my aunt. Then I moved here.”

  Reed tilts my head up. “Were you with this guy?” he sternly questions, holding my gaze.

  I’m slow to answer. “In the beginning, yes. When the relationship changed, I stopped being with him.”

  With a heavy sigh, Reed drops his hand away from my face. “What do you mean, when it changed?”

  I can’t get into this. Not with Reed. I don’t want him knowing this ugliness.

  “Relationships change,” I explain, keeping my voice even. “We stopped being with each other, and strictly became roommates. There’s really nothing more to it.”

  This isn’t a lie. I’m just leaving out a few details.

  What good would telling Reed the whole truth do me? Or him? Rocco is a part of my past. He isn’t in this future I want with Reed. I don’t want even the memory of him in it.

  Reed, seemingly satisfied with my response, leans close and buries his face in my neck. “You’re fucking brave, you know that? My brave girl.”

  I close my eyes, moving my fingers through his hair.

  We stay quiet for several minutes. Our hands explore each other, light touches that turn hungry with the more time that passes. Limbs tangling together, we get lost in the sheets as breathless promises are spoken against my ear.

  “Never would’ve let that happen if you were here. You never would’ve been alone.”

  I hold him tighter, kissing his mouth, his jaw, scraping my teeth against his shoulder. He flips me underneath him and pulls against my hips, bringing me to my knees.

  “I have to be inside you,” he murmurs, squeezing my ass, running his finger along my slit. He moans when I shudder. “Mm. Do you like that?”

  My head falls forward. “Yes,” I breathe.

  I should feel vulnerable like this. I’m completely exposed to him, and I know he’s staring at the most intimate part of me, closely, his warm breath heating my flesh. But this is Reed. I’ve never felt more alive than when he touches me, when he stares at my body with that raw need burning in his eyes. The silent promise of wicked things.

  “And this . . . do you like this?”

  I bite my lip through a moan when he presses against the tight ring of my ass. “Mm.”

  God, who knew that could feel so amazing?

  He laughs darkly. “I could fuck you right here and you’d love it, wouldn’t you? You’d beg me for it.”

  “Reed.” I squirm as one . . . no, two fingers slide into my pussy, a third pressing into my ass. Wetness sticks to the inside of my thighs as I rock back, taking more.

  “Look at you. So greedy, Beth.”

  “I just . . .”

  “Shh, I know. You want me to fuck you. This is what you want, right?” His fingers leave my body. His cock slips between my legs. A hand fists my hair as he teases my pussy, sliding along my slit. “Where do you want it? I have two very sexy options here.”

  My arms begin to tremble. I drop down to my elbows, closing my eyes, relishing in the feel of him. I’m so wet I should be embarrassed. I’m so horny I could take it
anywhere.

  He smacks my ass and I gasp. “Where?” he demands, tugging my hair.

  “My pussy.”

  He makes a hungry growl in the back of his throat. His cock nudges against my slit.

  “Wait.” I look at him over my shoulder.

  His wild eyes lift from between my legs and lock onto mine. His lips are parted. A light sheen of sweat beads across his brow.

  God, he looks amazing.

  “Do you have any rope in your truck?” I ask, wetting my lips as his slowly curl up. I’ve been bound twice by Reed, both on our first night together. There’s something about giving up all control to him, watching him take his pleasure instead of delivering it.

  I want that now. Even if I can’t see the look on his face, I’ll be able to hear him.

  He loosens his grip on my hair and runs his hand down my spine. “None I can use on you. You want me to tie you up?”

  “Yes.”

  “Beth,” he groans. His eyes shift around the room, then widen. “Hold that thought.”

  He scrambles off the bed, retrieving his jeans off the floor. He whips his belt out of the loops and prowls toward me like a predator.

  A belt? Shit, how is this going to work? He’s not going to hit me with it, is he?

  More important question, would I be into that?

  The mattress dips behind me as he climbs back onto the bed. I shift nervously on my knees.

  “Put your hands behind your back. Keep your face down.”

  A shiver runs through my body as I lower my head to the mattress and offer him both my hands.

  He grabs my wrists, pinning them together as the smooth leather of the belt slides under my arms, stopping just above my elbows. I gasp as the belt tightens, pulling my shoulders back.

  Holy shit.

  “This okay?” he asks softly, leaning over my body to brush the hair out of my face.

  He’s always so sweet in these moments before he takes me. Always making sure I’m on the same page as him. I know if I say I’m not, that this is too much he would rip that belt off me so fast I wouldn’t even remember the feel of it.

  “It’s okay. I’m okay,” I reassure him, linking my fingers together. I smile against his lips forming to my cheek. His hands run down my arms, over the belt, circling my wrists. I’m so ready my legs begin to tremble. “Are you going to fuck me now?”

  The air leaves my lungs as he drives into me.

  “Reed!”

  “Fuck!” He grabs my shoulder, keeping me pinned as his firm thighs slap against my ass. “Fuck, Beth. Come on . . . come on.”

  “God, yes,” I pant. “Reed . . . Oh shit.”

  He lifts my breasts and tugs on my nipples. He smacks them until I groan.

  Over and over he fucks me. There’s no teasing. There never is when Reed takes me like this, rough and wild, desperate and deprived. I writhe underneath him when he slaps my ass with enough force my eyes sting. I moan when he presses words against my back, telling me how hard he is for me, how much he needs this, and how he loves my sweet, tight pussy. How he wants to fuck it until I beg him to come. How he won’t stop until I do.

  He pulls out and runs his tongue up my slit, tasting my desire, making me wetter. I buck against his face. He moans as he consumes me, as he sucks and bites my lips. He slaps my ass and kisses the sting away. My arousal oozes from me. I don’t know who loves this more. Him or me.

  Me . . . no . . . him. No . . .

  He fists my hair and tugs me upright until my hands press into his abs. His chest heaves against my arms. Sweat clings to his skin. He buries his cock inside me and thrusts deep.

  God, so deep. So full. I’m so close.

  “Goddamn, you’re perfect. You’re so swollen. So trusting, Beth. You know what that does to me?”

  I tilt my head, granting his lips access to my neck. My palms form to his skin with each thrust.

  “You feel so good,” I tell him. “I . . . I’d trust you with anything. Everything. I love what you do to me.”

  He growls against my skin. “Perfect,” he whispers. “Do you want to come?”

  “Yes.”

  He wraps his arm around my waist, his other hand glides down my stomach. One finger teases my clit. “Let me hear you.”

  “Please,” I moan, letting my head roll back.

  His thrusts become frenzied, hurried. I know he’s close but he won’t let either of us come until I beg him for my own release.

  “Please, let me . . . come. I need to come. Touch me.”

  “Beth, yes.” Two fingers pulse against my clit, circling. His hips pound against my ass. “Fuck, fuck, do it. Come on my cock. Come all over me. God, I fucking need this.”

  My orgasm builds between my hips, warming my body in that delicious heat, spreading down my spine and arching my back. His arm around my waist slides up my chest and his hand squeezes my throat.

  “Oh, God, Reed,” I moan, shaking violently. “Reed . . . Reed.”

  He makes filthy noises against my ear as he gives me his release. His pleasure spills into me, mine drips down my thighs. His hand around my neck loosens as he buries himself deep inside me and stills.

  We’re both gasping, swaying on our knees.

  “Beth,” he sighs, squeezing my breasts, kissing my shoulder. “Beth.”

  I smile as my head rolls forward, loving the sound of my name. Loving all his sounds, every note of his voice.

  The belt loosens and disappears from my skin. It hits the floor with a clink. We both tumble down onto the bed and Reed pulls me against his body, rubbing my arms, kissing the flush of my skin.

  My phone beeps across the room. Reed grumbles against my neck.

  “Sorry?” I ask, giggling when he holds me down, preventing me from standing.

  He bends his head and sucks on my nipple. “Nothing. I didn’t want any interruptions, but if I don’t eat something soon and replenish my body, I might not be much use to you the rest of the day.” He releases me and rolls to his back. “My dick might also be broken.”

  Laughing, I swat at him and climb out of bed. Reed follows suit and reaches for his boxers, stepping into them.

  “You like eggs?” he asks. “I’m fucking starving.”

  “I like eggs.” I reply, pulling up the new text on my phone.

  Mia: Hey! No lunch today. Ben took off the rest of the week and we’re spending all day together. Xoxo

  Good. That’s exactly what they need after all they’ve been through.

  I watch Reed move toward the door. Stopping himself when he’s almost through it, he turns his head to look at me, bracing his hand on the wall.

  “I just want to eat and fuck all day. You in?”

  I don’t need to say anything.

  His eyes drop to my smile, lingering there a moment before he breaks away shaking his head. He exits the room, mumbling two words under his breath, over and over.

  “So fucked.”

  Reed

  ON MY BACK IN THE middle of my bed, I absentmindedly move my fingers through the ends of Beth’s hair as she lays still, sleeping. Half her body is sprawled on top of mine, while the other half is nestled against my side, leaving no space between us. I stare up at the ceiling as warm breath blows across my chest, as her heart knocks against my ribs.

  A lot of women have slept in this bed, but not like this. They would stay on one side, and I’d stay on the other. I liked it that way. I’ve never been a contact sleeper, until I slept with Beth. She needs to have some part of her body touching mine at all times. Even if it’s just her hand on my hip, or her foot pressed against my calf. She seeks me out in the darkness when we unintentionally drift apart. It’s as if her body knows I’m here even when her mind is quiet. I’m a light sleeper. I always have been. The second I feel her flesh, I’m stirred awake, pulling her against me, never satisfied with just a piece of Beth. And fuck me, if she doesn’t smile in her sleep when I do it.

  Always giving me that smile.

  Groanin
g, she shifts her body against mine, raising her head to peer up at me through the dark strands hanging in her eyes.

  “Hey.” I push her hair out of her face, my hand lingering on her cheek. “Go back to sleep.”

  She looks at the clock on my night stand, her eyes widening. “Oh my God, Reed. It’s almost three o’clock. We need to get up and do something.”

  “We’ve been doing a lot of something,” I tease. Her cheek lifts against my hand. “If you’d like to change locations again, I think there’s still a surface in this house I haven’t pinned you up against. I’m willing to explore that.”

  She blushes instantly. I fucking love that I do that to her.

  Wiggling out of my arms, she scoots to the end of the bed. “You’re crazy.”

  I grab her waist, pulling her back down and pinning her underneath me. She squirms, laughing against my neck. I lock her wrists above her head with one of my hands while the other palms her breast. My lips brush against hers, my tongue wetting her skin.

  “It’s Saturday, and the only thing I plan on doing today is you. I’m making up for lost time.”

  “Oh,” she moans, rolling her head to the side as I kiss along her neck. Her body tightens up again. “Wait, what lost time?”

  I lean back, waiting until she looks up at me. “The ten hours I worked yesterday.”

  “Reed,” she laughs. “We had sex all night!”

  “So?”

  She pinches her lips shut, shaking her head.

  I rock my hips. “Like you don’t want it.”

  “I’m beginning to forget what daylight looks like.”

  “I can fuck you outside.”

  Her phone rings somewhere in the bedroom. Gasping, she tries to throw me off her, bucking against the mattress. Her efforts are adorable.

  I groan, dropping my head until our foreheads touch. “Feels good. Keep doing that.”

  “It could be my aunt. Let me up,” she demands, her face burning red from exertion.

  I roll onto my back, laughing when she playfully glares at me before sliding off the bed. She searches through the pile of clothes on the floor, finally pulling her phone free.

  “Oh, it’s Mia.”