Frederick's Queen: The Clan Graham Series

by Suzan Tisdale

  “I ken, lass, I ken.” He couldn’t imagine having a child that he could not publicly claim as his own.

  But what to do now? How should he proceed? Was there anything he could do to keep Mermadak from sending the boy away? His heart suddenly felt quite heavy for he was uncertain he could come up with a solution that would please anyone involved.

  Frederick knew what he must do next, but did not want to involve Aggie in his decision. “Aggie, lass, the hour grows late,” he said as he patted her back. “Let us get ye into bed. I must leave, but only for a short while. I promise, if ye want, we can talk more when I return.”

  Aggie scrutinized him closely for a moment. “But ye will b-be comin’ back?”

  “Of course I will. I promise, I’ll no leave ye Aggie.”

  Her expression and countenance told him she was wary. “Aggie, I swear as God is me witness, I’ll no’ leave. I want to go see yer da and see what I can do to keep him from sendin’ Ailrig away.”

  A look of doubt flashed in her eyes and he worried she would begin to cry again. “I swear that I’ll do whatever I must to make certain he does no’ go to the Bowie.”

  “But what if d-da refuses to see ye or to listen?” she asked, her tone worried.

  Frederick thought on it for a long moment. What would he do if he could not convince Mermadak to allow the boy to stay? He did not rightly know at the moment. He sent a fervent prayer up to God that he could think of something if he had to.

  “Let us no’ think of all the what ifs fer now. Just believe in me, Aggie. I promise, no matter what, I’ll no’ allow Ailrig to go to the Bowie. I swear it.” He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince Aggie or himself.

  Aggie remained quiet for a time before she slid from his lap and made her way to the tiny room where they stored their clothing. Frederick stood, recounting all that had happened and all that Aggie had shared with him. “Lady wife,” he called to her through the curtain. “Would ye like to see Ailrig before ye retire fer the night?”

  The curtain flew open and Aggie stood before him in her nightdress. The smile he so loved to see had returned. “Ye’ll still l-let m-me see him?” she asked excitedly.

  “Of course, Aggie!” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck in exasperation. “What kind of ogre do ye think me?”

  Her smile vanished. “I d-do no’ think ye an ogre, Frederick. B-but ye’ve no’ told me what ye plan to d-do with Ailrig.”

  He sighed. “Aggie, I promise I’ll no’ allow him to be sent away. I also promise that I’ll no keep him from ye or ye from him. We’ll keep things as they are fer now.”

  Her bottom lip began to quiver as she started toward him but came to an abrupt halt. “Can I still hug ye?” she asked hesitantly.

  Frederick smiled thoughtfully. “Lady wife, ye may hug me any time the mood strikes ye,” he told her as he opened his arms for her. As she wrapped her arms around his torso, Frederick breathed a sigh of relief. “Aggie, nothin’ truly changes between us. I still hold ye in high regard. I still want to be yer husband. Please, do no’ think that by tellin’ me the truth about Ailrig that somehow, I’ll no’ want anythin’ to do with ye or the boy.”

  “Thank ye, kindly, Frederick,” she whispered into his chest.

  “And please, do no’ be afraid to tell me what you be thinkin’ or feelin’ or wantin’. Ye can ask me anythin’ ye wish, anytime ye wish it. Ye ken?”

  She nodded her head and gave him another squeeze before breaking the embrace. Frederick rested his hands on her shoulders and bent to look into her eyes. “Ye must be exhausted,” he said. “Please, rest now. I promise to wake ye when I return.”

  Aggie accepted his promise and climbed into the bed. Frederick pulled the furs up and made certain she was warm and settled in before quietly quitting the room.

  He knocked on the door across the hallway. Moments later, Ian answered it. Frederick peered into the room and saw that Ailrig was fast asleep on a pallet by the fire. “How fares the boy?” Frederick asked.

  “We didna tell him what was happenin’,” Ian said. “Didna see any sense in upsettin’ him.”

  “Good,” Frederick gave a nod of approval. “I must go below stairs and would like ye to go with me. We’ll send someone up to keep watch in the hallway.”

  Ian raised an inquiring brow. “And what, pray tell, will we be doin’ below stairs?”

  “I have a feelin’ that before the night is out, I’ll be eaten’ crow and ye’ll be actin’ as witness to such.”

  Twenty-Six

  AFTER SENDING FOUR guards above stairs to watch over his wife and newly discovered stepson, Frederick and Ian sought out Mermadak. They found the man in his study, sitting in a chair before the fire. Donnel was there as well and both men were well on their way to being drunk.

  No seat was offered to either Frederick or Ian, so they stood opposite Mermadak. The auld man looked up at Frederick with bloodshot and bleary eyes. “What do ye want at this hour?” he asked before taking a gulp of his whisky.

  Deciding that beating around the bush would gain him no more ground than being blunt, Frederick chose to get straight to the heart of the matter. “Aggie and I want to formally adopt Ailrig.”

  Mermadak looked up with disbelief. “Ye what?”

  “We want to adopt the boy, Ailrig,” Frederick repeated.

  Mermadak set his cup down on the table next to his chair. Mermadak had hoped that his plan to send Ailrig away would reach Aggie’s ears before the day was out. He had hoped that she would come to him on hand and knee begging him to change his mind. He hadn’t expected the Mackintosh to appear at such a late hour, with the offer to adopt the boy. “Nay.” His voice was firm, a signal that the topic was not open for discussion.

  “May I ask why no’?” Frederick asked as he clasped his hands behind his back.

  Mermadak was unaccustomed to people questioning his decisions. The fact that the Mackintosh had yet to learn that he was not a forgiving man nor one whose mind could be changed, irked him to no end. “Because I said nay! Now be gone with ye.” He gave a dismissive wave of his hand and picked up his tankard.

  “McLaren,” Frederick decided to take a softer approach and hoped he’d not be choking on his words. “I ken ye be the chief and Ailrig is technically yer charge. But he be a fine young man and I see much potential in him. He could be a good leader someday. What harm could come of allowin’ Aggie and me to adopt him?”

  “Bah!” Mermadak shouted. “And risk the bastard born brat inherit? I think no’!”

  Resisting the urge to kick the auld man in his gut, Frederick ignored the insult. “We could write a contract betwixt us, agreein’ that Ailrig could no inherit or become chief of Clan McLaren,” Frederick offered.

  Mermadak sat back in his chair and studied Frederick. He imagined it could potentially be another act of thumbing his nose at his dead wife, to allow a bastard born to inherit and become chief of this clan. Though that thought was tempting, what wasn’t as tempting was the potential of Aggie being happy. And she would be very happy to keep the illegitimate child here. In the end, he simply couldn’t allow it, reasoning that what made Aggie happy would somehow make Lila happy even if the whore was now burning in hell.

  “And what if ye and Aggie do no’ have any children?” Mermadak asked. “What then? Nay, I canna take the chance that an illegitimate child would someday inherit.”

  Frederick’s next statement was a full out lie, but Mermadak couldn’t know it yet. “There is a verra strong possibility that Aggie is now carryin’ me child.”

  Ian couldn’t contain his surprise and turned to look at his brother. “Congratulations!” he said as he slapped Frederick’s back.

  Frederick had to maintain a certain facade. He didn’t relish lying to his brother, but the situation called for it. “We canna be certain just yet,” he explained. “But I imagine we’ll ken fer certain in a few weeks.” If he had to, he was certain he could convince Aggie to join with him sooner than either of t
hem planned, if it meant she could keep Ailrig.

  Mermadak was not nearly as happy with the news. “Me answer remains the same. The boy will go to the Bowie Clan to foster. He leaves on the morrow.”

  Frederick felt his mettle being tested. He had made his wife a promise and he meant to keep it. For a brief moment, he considered stealing Aggie, Ailrig and Rose away and taking them all back to his father’s land. But he was not quite ready to relinquish their futures or the possibility that he’d someday be chief.

  Even Frederick was surprised by the next words that came out of his mouth. Ian stiffened as soon as he heard Frederick’s declaration. “If I declare me fealty to ye, would ye allow Aggie and me to adopt Ailrig?” ’Twas all he could do not to retch all over the chief’s boots, but he somehow managed to get the words out.

  Slowly, a smile began to grow on Mermadak’s face. Ian’s scowl increased in direct proportion to Mermadak’s smile. Frederick knew he’d never hear the end of it from his younger brother. He could only hope that once he explained the situation to him, that Ian would understand why this declaration was of such importance.

  “In truth?” Mermadak asked as if he weren’t certain he had heard Frederick the first time. “Ye’d declare yer fealty to me just to adopt a bastard born lad?”

  Frederick’s jaw tightened as he drew his hands to his sides. He did not think he could contain his anger if Mermadak continued to refer to Ailrig in such a disrespectful manner. He was momentarily tempted to tell Mermadak the truth, just to see the man’s smile fade. But he simply could not shame Aggie. God knew the woman had been through enough.

  “Aye,” he ground out.

  Mermadak gave the offer some weight, twisting his lips and drumming his index finger against his temple. Time seemed to crawl by as Mermadak considered Frederick’s offer. He began to wonder why adopting the boy was so important to the man. More likely than not, it was important to him because it was important to his wife.

  Mermadak could remember a time when he would have done anything for Lila. He would have sworn an oath to the devil himself if it would have made her happy. In the end, his fealty to his wife hadn’t mattered one bit. She had deceived him, lied to him and betrayed him. He supposed he could get some measure of satisfaction knowing that Frederick would suffer the same fate.

  “So be it,” he drawled. “Ye and Aggie may adopt the little shite, as long as ye declare yer fealty to me.”

  He hid his relief behind a facade of calm. “So be it. Ye have me fealty, Mermadak,” Frederick said. As long as ye do no’ betray me, he said to himself.

  “I CANNA BELIEVE ye swore yer fealty to that man,” Ian said as the two men walked down the corridor to head above stairs.

  “What choice did I have, Ian? ’Twas that or have Ailrig sent to the Bowie,” Frederick countered.

  “And would that be so bad? I ken the Bowies are a devious bunch of thieves, but to swear yer fealty to the McLaren?” He shook his head, still unable to believe what he had witnessed.

  With so many ears about the keep, it wasn’t possible for Frederick to explain everything to Ian. The risk of someone overhearing him tell Ian about the boy’s true bloodline was too great. If word got out, Aggie would never forgive him.

  “Brother, I ken ye dunna understand the why of it just yet, but I promise ye, on the morrow, I shall explain things further and ye’ll see that I had no other option but the one I took,” he explained as he led the way up the stairs.

  Ian stared at his brother’s back. He seriously doubted that anything Frederick had to say to him would convince him that he had made the right decision.

  Outside the bedchamber, Frederick thanked the men who had stood guard and dismissed them for the night. Still stunned, Ian shook his head and entered his own chamber without bidding his brother good sleep.

  WITH A HEAVY heart, Frederick returned to his bedchamber. As he had promised, he woke Aggie to tell her the news. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he took a finger and brushed a strand of loose hair from her forehead. The tiny movement was enough to rouse her from sleep. Aggie sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “’Tis done, Aggie. Ailrig will no’ be goin’ to the Bowies.”

  She let out the breath she had been holding in one gush of air and her shoulders relaxed. “Thank ye, Frederick!” she said relieved. “B-but how? How did ye do it?”

  Debating on what exactly he should tell her, he fell silent. Aggie placed a hand on his arm and tried to gain a sense of what might be wrong. “Frederick?” Her voice was husky from sleep and too much crying.

  He worked his jaw back and forth and looked away. Worried that if he confessed what he had done, sworn his fealty to Mermadak, then Aggie would look upon him less favorably and think him less a man.

  “Frederick,” she repeated. “Am I the only one who has to t-tell the truth?” She sounded sad, if not downright disappointed. The longer he remained quiet, the more frustrated she became. “I see,” she said, folding her hands into her lap. “I was wrong. All m-men be the same. They do n-no’ have to abide the rules they create.”

  The truth stung. He did not want her thinking ill of him and soon began to understand more fully why she had kept her secrets to herself. Shame and fear could be grand motivators. “We will be officially adoptin’ Ailrig. Ye will be able to call him son and none will be the wiser.”

  The news should have made her heart sing with joy, but the manner in which Frederick spoke, told her that mayhap he was not as keen on the idea as she would have liked. “Frederick, if ye d-do no’ want to c-call Ailrig son—”

  Frederick cut her off. “Nay! That be no’ it, Aggie. I’ll be verra proud to call him son.”

  “Then why d-do ye seem so sad? Have I d-done somethin’ else to upset ye?” she asked, sitting straighter in the bed as if she were preparing herself for another argument.

  “Nay,” he said with a shake of his head. “’Tis no’ ye I be upset with.”

  Aggie waited patiently for an explanation.

  “In order to get Mermadak to allow us to adopt Ailrig, I had to make two sacrifices and I fear both will make ye think me far less a man.”

  Her face contorted into confusion, still, she remained quiet so he could continue.

  “I had to swear me fealty to yer da, Aggie. I swear I nearly retched doin’ so!” The sadness he felt moments ago quickly turned to frustration.

  “Och! Frederick!” she exclaimed, placing her hands on her chest. She knew that was a tremendous sacrifice he had made and he had made it for her, so that she could keep her son. There was possibly nothing else he could have done to make her more proud of him. Still, it ate at her heart that he had been forced to swallow his pride to accomplish what she thought a few hours ago to be impossible.

  “Ye said there were t-two things?” she asked, her voice breaking slightly as she choked back tears.

  “Aggie, I didna want to do it but I had no other choice in the matter,” he began, stopped and took a deep breath. “Please ken me heart, lass, and ken if there had been any other way, I would have taken it. But, come Ailrig’s tenth birthday, I will have to send him to the MacDougalls to foster.”

  “Och! Is that all?” she exclaimed, throwing her hands around Frederick’s neck, much to his surprise. “Ye had m-me scared near half to death!”

  Flustered and confused, Frederick broke their embrace so that he might see her face more clearly. “Ye be no’ upset?” he asked skeptically.

  “Nay, I be n-no’ upset with ye! Ye made a tremendous sacrifice this night fer me, Frederick, a tremendous sacrifice. For me and me son. I could n-no’ be more proud of ye!” He would have sworn that her smile lit the room.

  “But what of sendin’ him to the MacDougalls?” he asked.

  “Och! I be n-no’ worried over that. He’ll n-no’ be ten until the end of February,” she said, as if her answer explained everything. Frederick continued to look confused and perplexed. “Don’ ye see? Da will be dead by then.”

  BY THE TIME Aggie w
as done explaining the fact that her father had, at the most four or five more months to live, he could have been knocked to his knees with a feather. Mermadak McLaren had a disease of the lung and was dying.

  Frederick felt a tremendous amount of guilt for taking relief in the knowledge. But one look at his wife’s sweet face and recalling all that Mermadak had done to her made the guilt disappear.

  “So, ye see,” Aggie told him. “Yer fealty is only fer a short amount of t-time. And come Ailrig’s n-next birthday, da will be long d-dead and buried and we willna have to send him away, unless we wish to.” And it be me fervent prayer that me husband will no’ wish to.

  Frederick sat in stunned silence for a time, mulling his options over in his mind. Knowing that Mermadak was not long for this world did lift his spirits. He was able to look at things quite differently now.

  Summer would be ending soon enough. If Aggie was correct, Mermadak would be dead by November. That did not leave him much time to gain the trust of the clan. He had originally assumed he would have several more years with which to make his place among these people. Years of leading by example, of showing these people that he was up for the task of becoming chief. He would have to pack several years’ worth of work into a few short months.

  Aggie studied him closely. “Frederick, d-do you no’ think that is good news?”

  “Aye, ’tis, but still, that does no’ give us much time to show these people that I would be a good chief.”

  Aggie rolled her eyes. “Och! D-do ye no’ see that ye’ve been showin’ them that since the day ye arrived? Och! After all these years of l-livin’ hand to fist, under Mermadak’s c-cruel hand, m-me people will be glad to have ye. I would n-no’ worry it overmuch, Frederick.”

  He supposed she did have a good point. There was nothing to be done about it at the moment. Dawn would soon be breaking over the horizon. His legs and arms suddenly felt as heavy as lead and he realized he had yawned several times.

  Aggie smiled at him thoughtfully. “Ye look as t-tired as I f-feel,” she told him. “Come to bed, and let us n-no worry over it any longer.”