Looking for a Miracle

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  “Those two stories are reason enough for your daed not to let you drive alone,” Daniel said with a note of conviction. “None of us would want anything to happen to you; that’s for certain sure.”

  Rebekah’s heart did a flip-flop at Daniel’s thoughtful words. Did “none of us” include him? Was he trying to tell her that he would care if something bad happened because he had romantic feelings for her? She shoved the thought aside, sternly reminding herself that Daniel was only a friend, nothing more.

  The ride to Rebekah’s house was over much too soon. She’d been having such a good time that she wished it could go on forever.

  When they pulled up near the house, Daniel climbed down from the buggy, using the aide of his crutches. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “To ask for some help in getting you down.”

  Rebekah watched as Daniel hobbled up to the steps. Just as he was about to knock on the door, her father stepped onto the porch.

  “I spotted your buggy pulling in,” she heard Dad say. “Do you need some help gettin’ my daughter out of your buggy?”

  Daniel nodded. “If it weren’t for my bum leg, I’m sure I could manage fine on my own, but under the circumstances, I will need your help.”

  “No problem.” Dad stepped off the porch and hurried out to the buggy. He removed Rebekah’s wheelchair first, then lifted her down with ease and placed her in the chair as though she weighed no more than a child.

  “I appreciate the ride home,” Rebekah said to Daniel as Dad pushed her wheelchair up the ramp and onto the porch.

  Daniel smiled and leaned against the porch railing as if he was in no hurry to leave. “I’m glad I could do it.”

  Rebekah felt relief when Dad grabbed hold of the doorknob and said, “I’m sure you two would probably like to visit awhile, so I’ll just go inside now and see what your mamm’s up to.” He gave Rebekah a sly grin, opened the door, and stepped into the house.

  As soon as the door shut behind Rebekah’s father, Daniel moved to the front of her wheelchair and leaned over so his face was close to hers. The full moon sent a shaft of light shimmering down from the starry sky, and Daniel’s mahogany-colored eyes seemed to dance in the glow of it. “Rebekah, I was wondering something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Well—could I maybe come calling on you one night soon?”

  Daniel’s whispered words made Rebekah’s head feel kind of woozy. Was he asking if he could court her? Oh, surely not. He must mean—“Rebekah, did you hear what I said?”

  Her chin quivered slightly. “What was it, Daniel?”

  “We have so much in common, what with our love for flowers and all, and I want to court you.”

  The rhythm of Rebekah’s heartbeat picked up. She hadn’t misunderstood him after all. He really did want to court her. It was almost too much to comprehend. “Daniel, I’m honored that you would ask such a thing, but I don’t—”

  He looked away, and his shoulders slumped. “You don’t care for me? Is that it?”

  Rebekah felt the sting of hot tears at the back of her eyes, and she blinked a couple of times. “That’s not the problem. I ... well, aren’t you in love with Mary Ellen?”

  “Mary Ellen?” he sputtered.

  She only nodded in reply.

  “But Mary Ellen’s a married woman, for goodness’ sake!”

  Rebekah gritted her teeth. What was wrong with Daniel? Did he think she was verhuddelt? “I know my cousin’s married, but before she and Johnny started courting, it seemed as though you were quite smitten with her.”

  “Now why would you think that? What have I ever done to make you believe such a thing?”

  “You were always hanging around her.”

  He chuckled. “And you didn’t know why?”

  Rebekah didn’t see what was so funny. It irked her that he would laugh about such a serious matter as this. “I—I thought you, like so many other fellows, had your eye on my cute, outgoing cousin.”

  “The only thing my eyes have ever wanted to look at is you, Rebekah Stoltzfus. I only hung around Mary Ellen because you were usually with her. I wanted to be near you, but I never had the courage to say so before.”

  Rebekah swallowed against the lump in her throat, and despite her best effort, several tears dribbled onto her cheeks. “Oh, Daniel, I’m flattered by your words, but I—I can’t agree to let you court me.”

  “Why not?” His poker face couldn’t hide his obvious surprise at her response. “I think I’ve made it clear that I’m not in love with Mary Ellen, so there shouldn’t be a thing wrong with us courting—unless you don’t care for me.”

  Rebekah’s eyelids fluttered. “That isn’t the problem, Daniel.”

  “What is the problem?”

  “Courting for us would be pointless.”

  “Pointless? What could be pointless about two people who enjoy each other’s company and have so much in common agreeing to court?”

  Rebekah drew in a deep breath and reached up to swipe at another set of tears. “For most couples, courting often leads to a more permanent commitment.”

  “What’s wrong with that? Love and marriage go well together, you know,” he said with an impish smile.

  Rebekah smiled, too, in spite of her tears. Daniel was everything a woman could want. He was all she wanted; that was for sure. She felt certain that any normal girl would never have considered turning down his offer.

  However, that was the problem. Rebekah was not any normal girl. She was crippled and always would be. To her way of thinking, her handicap didn’t make her a good candidate as a wife. There were many things she couldn’t do without the use of two good legs. And children—she wanted to be a mother so badly. Daniel probably wanted to be a father, too. But it was unlikely that she would ever conceive, and even if by some miracle she could get pregnant, how would a mother in a wheelchair or walking stiff-legged with cumbersome crutches ever care for a baby?

  The very thing Rebekah wanted most—to be courted by a man—particularly this man, was being offered to her right now. As much as it hurt, she knew she had to turn it down. She gazed into Daniel’s serious brown eyes and blinked rapidly. “I’m a cripple, and I’ll always be one.”

  “I know that already.”

  “But you don’t understand what it’s like for me.”

  “I do understand, Rebekah.” He lifted one crutch and nodded at his broken leg.

  “But your handicap is only temporary. Once your leg heals, you’ll throw those crutches away and walk like a normal man again.” She pushed her wheelchair toward the door. “Our relationship could never go any further than just the fun of courting, and as much as it pains me to say this, my answer has to be no.”

  Daniel stepped between Rebekah and the door and stood for several seconds, staring at her like he didn’t quite believe what she’d said.

  “Gut nacht, Daniel.” Rebekah opened the door and wheeled into the house without another word.

  CHAPTER 18

  It had been four weeks since Daniel asked if he could court Rebekah, but the pain she felt over her decision made it seem like only yesterday. She dreaded facing Daniel at the preaching service again today, but there was no way she could get out of going because church was to be held in their home this time.

  “Oh, you’re up,” Mom said as Rebekah rolled her wheelchair into the kitchen. “We must hurry and get breakfast on if we’re to be ready in time.”

  Rebekah glanced out the kitchen window. Huge snowflakes fell like powdered sugar from the sky. “It’s starting to snow,” she said. “Maybe no one will come.”

  Mom smiled. “It’s not coming down so hard. Besides, a little bit of snow isn’t likely to keep any of our people from worshiping God.”

  “I suppose you’re right.” Rebekah sighed and wheeled away from the window. “What can I do to help?”

  “You can set the table and cut the breakfast pie. I’ll have Nadine get out some
cereal and milk when she comes in from collecting eggs.”

  As if on cue, Nadine opened the back door and hustled into the kitchen. Her cheeks were pink from the cold, and she stamped snow off her feet. “Brrr ... it’s sure chilly out there. I think winter’s definitely on the way.” She set the basket of eggs on the counter, slipped out of her jacket, and hung it on a wall peg. “Soon I can get my sled out of the barn, and I’m sure it won’t be long until the ponds in the area will be frozen over. Then we can all go ice skating.”

  Winter, with its drab, gray days and bitter chilling winds always makes me feel sad, Rebekah thought. Sledding and ice skating for me are out of the question, and Nadine knows that. Is she trying to rub vinegar on my wounds or start another argument with me this morning? Oh, if only...

  “Rebekah, are you going to the singing at the Rabers’ tonight? Will your beau be bringin’ you home again?” Nadine asked suddenly.

  Rebekah nearly dropped the plate she’d been about to place on the table. “My what?”

  “Your boyfriend. We all know Daniel Beachy gave you a ride home in his courting buggy last month, and I saw him leaning real close to you after Dad came inside, so I’m guessing he’s pretty sweet on you, sister.”

  Rebekah’s face heated with embarrassment. She hadn’t said a word to anyone in the family about Daniel’s offer to court her, and with good reason. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Nadine. Furthermore, you shouldn’t go around spying on people.”

  “I wasn’t spying. I just happened to be looking out the living-room window when Daniel’s buggy pulled into the yard.” Nadine puckered her lips. “I’ll bet he even kissed you when he thought no one was looking.”

  “He did no such thing!” Rebekah’s voice shook with emotion. So much for her resolve to get along better with Nadine and have more understanding.

  “I’ll bet you’re just too embarrassed to admit it.”

  Rebekah was about to offer a comeback, when Mom spoke up.

  “Nadine, this little discussion has gone on long enough. Stop bothering your sister now. Rebekah will decide when to let us know what’s going on with her and Daniel, and she doesn’t need your teasing.”

  Rebekah’s eyes filled with tears, clouding her vision. “The simple fact is that there’ll never be anything going on between me and Daniel except friendship. Now, can we get on with breakfast?”

  Mom gave Rebekah a sympathetic look. “Jah, it’s on the way.”

  ***

  All during breakfast, Nadine sulked, barely able to eat anything she had put on her plate. It didn’t seem fair that Mom always took Rebekah’s side on things, but it had been that way ever since Nadine could remember. She’d only been a baby when Rebekah had lost the use of her legs, so she had no memory of her sister ever walking in a normal way. Nadine had grown up watching her folks, especially Mom, treat Rebekah as if she was someone special—someone who always needed to be stuck up for and sheltered.

  “Anything wrong with your eggs?” Dad asked, tapping Nadine on the shoulder.

  She shook her head. “I’m not so hungry this morning.”

  “You’re not feeling grank are you?” Mom asked with a look of concern. “If you are, then you’d better get upstairs and into bed.”

  “I’m not sick.”

  “Then why the sour face?” Simon asked, giving her arm a nudge.

  First Dad and then her little brother. Nadine wished she had sat in another chair.

  “I think she’s put out with me,” Rebekah spoke up before Nadine had a chance to respond.

  “Why would that be?” Dad questioned.

  “Because I got upset with her for spying on me and Daniel when he brought me home from the singing four weeks ago.”

  Dad shook his finger in Nadine’s face. “You know better than to spy on your sister. What were you thinkin’ of, girl?”

  “I wasn’t spying. I can’t help it that I happened to be looking out the window when Daniel and Rebekah were on the porch.”

  “You were looking out the window so you could see what was going on.” Rebekah squinted at Nadine from across the table.

  “No, I wasn’t trying to see what was going on. I was just—”

  Mom held up her hand. “I’ve heard this once already, and I’m not in the mood for another go-round.” She pointed to Nadine’s plate. “Now hurry and finish your breakfast so we’re all ready when the others show up for church.”

  Nadine’s stomach clenched as she picked up her fork and stabbed a piece of egg. Rebekah had won again.

  ***

  As Rebekah rolled her wheelchair into the living room, she noticed that everything was in place and ready for the church service. The large hinged doors that separated the living room from the rest of the house had been flung open wide, and the furniture had been replaced with the traditional backless benches used in their worship services.

  Soon everyone began to file into the house. The women and girls took their seats on one side of the room, while the men and boys sat on benches across from them.

  Rebekah spotted Daniel sitting on a bench between his brothers, Abner and Harold, and she was pleased to note that the cast on his leg had been removed. When he smiled and nodded at her, she felt her face flame so she averted her gaze, hoping no one had noticed. There was no point in giving Daniel any reason to believe she might have changed her mind about them courting, and she certainly didn’t want to give anyone the impression that she was interested in him. It was bad enough that Nadine believed it to be so.

  The three-hour service seemed to take longer than usual, and the room grew hot and stuffy, despite the cold day. Rebekah fidgeted in her wheelchair, wishing she could be someplace where there was some fresh air to breathe. In spite of the fact that the padded seat of her wheelchair was a lot more comfortable than the hard, wooden benches, she was getting tired of sitting and felt relief when the service was finally over and she could wheel into the kitchen to help with the noon meal.

  Several tables were set up throughout the house, and the guests ate a nourishing lunch of soup and sandwiches, followed by cookies and plenty of hot coffee and apple cider.

  The men and boys were fed first, and Rebekah made certain that the group she helped serve were the ones farthest away from the table where Daniel and his brothers sat. Nadine had been assigned to that table, and Rebekah was grateful.

  When the men and boys were done eating, they headed outside to the barn. Then the women and girls sat down to their meal. It was during this time that Rebekah was able to visit with Mary Ellen.

  “How’s it going with being a full-time wife and not teaching school anymore?” she asked.

  Mary Ellen shrugged as she offered Rebekah a wide smile. “I’m getting used to it now. Besides, being married to Johnny makes me happy.”

  Rebekah didn’t know quite how to respond. She wanted to express happiness for her friend. She would have liked to say that she, too, was in love and hoped to be married. However, she said neither, for she was sure she would never marry or find that kind of joy.

  “I hear you and Daniel Beachy have begun courting,” Mary Ellen said suddenly.

  “What?” Rebekah’s mouth fell open. “Where did you ever hear such a thing?”

  “Someone who attended the last singing said Daniel took you home.” Mary Ellen grinned at Rebekah. “I always did think he had an interest in you.”

  “So he says.”

  “Then you’ve agreed to begin courting?”

  “I told him no.”

  “You what?” Mary Ellen’s wide-open eyes revealed her obvious surprise. “Oh, Rebekah, why? Don’t you care for Daniel at all?”

  Rebekah nodded. “I care very much for him.”

  “Then why won’t you let him court you?”

  “You, of all people, should know the answer to that. You’ve been my friend a long time, and I’ve shared many things with you.”

  “It’s about your handicap, right?”

  Rebekah nodded,
her eyes filling with tears. “I care for Daniel, but if we started courting, he might want marriage—and later, kinner. I can’t give him those things, and you know it.”

  “I know of no such thing, and neither do you. If you’ll just trust God and give yourself half a chance—”

  “A chance to do what? I’m not a complete woman. I could never make Daniel happy.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “Don’t say what?” Nadine asked as she joined the women at their end of the table.

  Rebekah’s head snapped up. “Nothing. It was nothing important.”

  “I think you two must have been talkin’ about boys. Everyone always closes up like a star tulip whenever I come along. Mom especially does that. She thinks I’m too young to be thinkin’ about boys.” Nadine clicked her tongue. “It’s just because I’m the boppli of the family—that’s all.”

  Mary Ellen squeezed Nadine’s arm. “Just hold on a bit longer, for your time is coming. Sooner than you think, you’ll end up like me—an old married woman.”

  Nadine shook her head. “You’re not old, Mary Ellen, but you sure are pretty. No wonder Johnny wanted to marry you.” She glanced over at Rebekah. “My sister has a boyfriend, too, only she won’t ’fess up to it.”

  Rebekah slammed her empty coffee cup down with such force that she thought it might be broken. When she realized it wasn’t, she gave it a little shove, then pushed her wheelchair away from the table. “I’m going outside for some fresh air!”

  ***

  As Rebekah left the room, Mary Ellen looked over at Nadine and shook her head. “I wish I knew what’s gotten into your sister today. She sure seems upset.”

  “Rebekah’s always upset about something.” Nadine grunted. “Of course, she gets away with it because of her handicap.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “Mom’s always taking Rebekah’s side, and she favors her over me.”

  “Your mamm has always taken good care of Rebekah, but from what I’ve seen, she’s not treated her any different than you or Simon.”