by Kim Bowman
The sound of thunder woke me hours later. The bed dipped alarmingly as a weight landed beside me, trapping me between it and my sister. I knew in my befuddled state that it must be Grayson, yet I was too tired to protest. The bed’s mattress was unbelievably soft, the blanket smelling fresh and clean, and I didn’t want to break the spell by protesting Grayson’s sharing it. Rolling onto my side, I settled back down into the feather pillow as he wrapped an arm around my waist. As long as that arm didn’t stray, I thought, what harm could there be in him sleeping beside me?
I woke early the next morning ensconced in his arms, my head pillowed on his chest. I felt the edges of the bandage under my cheek, and when I realized what it was I pulled back, not wanting to cause him pain. It was then I realized that my sister was not in the bed with us. She must have gotten up in the night. I looked around and saw her on a pallet near the fireplace. Grayson rested on his back and I was greedily taking up the middle plus my side of the mattress, lying as I was with one of my legs nudged between both of his.
I glanced at his face, hoping that my movements had not disturbed his slumber. My hopes were soon dashed, seeing an unholy grin tickling his mouth. His eyes darkened and I could see the flames of the fire reflected. He watched me, making no concession to my embarrassment and I waited with little breath for him to say something, to do something, to call attention in some way to my immodest position.
Amelia was a sound sleeper and located where she was, Grayson and I were trapped by nearly complete privacy.
I tried to pull my leg free of his but he moved, caging it with his knee. I looked at him uncertainly and he outright laughed ¯ a masculine sound pitched so as not to disturb the sleeping child. It sounded so cocky, arrogant, and self-assured that I knew he enjoyed my discomfort. How dare he? What sort of gentleman would deliberately prolong a woman’s embarrassment in such an uncomfortable situation? Why didn’t he say something?
Chapter Five
I pushed myself up off his chest, using his muscled arm as leverage. For a moment I thought he would refuse to let me rise; he hesitated on freeing my trapped limb.
“Sleep well?” He stretched almost lazily, reminding me of old Louie, the peach and white tom cat that wandered my uncle’s farm in search of lady friends and leftover meals. Grayson's movements had the same grace as that cat, his eyes the same look of sleepy contentment ¯ and the decided air of a male who knows the effect he held over the female of the species. What was it about the soldier that was at once compelling, yet still so unnerving?
“Yes, you?” I decided to try and brazen my way out but my voice trembled and came out in a breathless whisper. His eyes darkened and his mouth parted. He reached for me with one hand, glancing toward the blanket-wrapped bundle near the fire. Amelia hadn’t stirred, and it still being early morning I knew we had several hours before she would awaken. My sister was not an early riser and the past few days had been strenuous.
“I believe you said we’d talk when she was asleep?” I reminded him, scooting to the edge of the mattress. It creaked, the ropes supporting the mattress stressing.
“We will,” He moved toward me and the bed swayed again, markedly precarious for such a sturdy looking piece of furniture. I rolled back toward him and let out a small squeak when his hand splayed across my stomach. I straightened, backing away from him, wanting to see his face.
“I have to get back to my men.” His eyes met mine, unblinking.
“What about¯” I stopped, my pride catching hold. I didn’t need him; I could take care of Amelia and myself without him. It was just the easier route, staying with him, after all. We’d go... we’d go to Chicago. Find Rachel. Surely I could find work in such a big city. Factories, I had heard, were hiring women now. I could teach ¯ I possessed a first rate education. Our mother had been a teacher before my brother was born and had insisted that all of her children be well educated. “Yes. I figured you would.”
“Where will you go?” His fingers tightened in the material covering my stomach ¯ thin cotton that served little protection from the heat of his fingers.
“I don’t know. I need to think. We haven’t any money.” My mind ran rapidly, evaluating our options. I refused to let him see the fear that was tightening my insides. “You needn’t worry. We will be just fine. You are free to go about your business at anytime.”
“Don’t be that way.”
I didn’t need him. I had managed for the duration of this stupid war, hadn’t I? Since the moment my father had placed a crying Amelia in my arms and told me to care for her as if she were my own, I’d planned and protected. I would do so again.
“What do you want me to say? To beg, perhaps?” I asked him, forgetting to keep my voice down. Amelia stirred and the soldier and I froze ¯ neither wanting the girl privy to our discussion.
“No. Dammit.” He growled at me, throwing the beautiful quilt back over me. “I have no choice! Do you think I like the idea of leaving you out here alone?”
“I really have no way of knowing what you think.” I told him, disconcerted once again by the little I knew. “I don’t know you at all.”
He stared at me a moment and I thought he would comment. I refused to look away ¯ why should I give in? I didn’t ask to find him lying along the banks of the Ohio. I didn’t invite this. If he hadn’t insisted on my bringing him a horse I would be sleeping in my cramped bed in my uncle’s house. Though it wasn’t an ideal situation, I had been assured of a roof over my head and food and clothing for my sisters. The soldier was the one responsible for my changed circumstance. Why should I apologize for being upset with him?
“I’ll get you money.” He told me, jerking the blanket back and standing ¯ sending the bed creaking. He settled into the alcove by the window, cramping his long legs onto the narrow bench. “Go back to sleep.”
Surprisingly, I had little trouble following this instruction. I had let him know I would not be cowed by the likes of some southern fighter and I was quite proud of myself. I drifted off to the sounds of him squirming on his new bed. I hope he is miserable!
The next morning I awoke to feel Amelia shaking my shoulder. “Olivia, Olivia. He’s gone! Grayson’s gone!” Her voice rang with an urgency that jarred me from the last lingering remnants of slumber.
“Gone?” I looked around the room, searching for some reminder of his presence. “Good.”
“Good? Olivia, we’re here without any money!” Amelia was close to tears. I remembered how it was for me at that age. I cried over everything and John had tormented me with much enthusiasm.
“So? We’ll manage.” I told her, reaching for my dress. There was a silver hairbrush on the nightstand and I quickly made use of it on my tangled hair.
“What will we do?” Amelia asked.
“We aren’t totally helpless, Amelia. We have the horses; if we have to, we’ll sell them.” I didn’t want to think of that eventuality. Fran and Sally were the last vestiges of our life in Maryland. If we had to sell the two old horses I just prayed we’d get enough for two train tickets to Chicago and some clothes and food. Enough money to support us until getting settled, at least.
“Sell Fran and Sally?” Amelia looked horrified, and I longed to tell her that of course I wouldn’t sell the horses ¯ but that would be a lie.
“I will delay as long as possible. But if we are given no choice, then what are we to do?” I asked her, deciding then and there that I would not hide anything from her again. She was growing, near an adult. It was past the time to stop coddling her.
Amelia stared at me a moment and I could see as she realized the gravity of our situation. I was proud of her, then, for she offered no argument, just straightened her shoulders and nodded, accepting my dictum. I was given a glimpse of what sort of a woman she would become, and I was pleased¯knowing I had had a large hand in the shaping of that woman.
“Get dressed. I want to get out of this town quickly.” I told her, making the bed.
“Yes, ma’am.” A
melia did as she was told though I could tell her thoughts were weighing heavily upon her mind.
After gathering our things we went in search of the proprietress. I wanted to thank her for the beautiful room and to see if she could give direction to the next town.
“Where’s your man?” Suspicion was ripe in her voice, as she stared me down.
“He went to see to the horses.” I told her, daring her to contradict me. I hoped I could brazen my way through any explanations as to why I had checked in with a husband but was leaving without one.
“That so?” She turned toward my sister and frowned as if wanting to say something else. She must have thought better of it for she wished a happy journey and we went on our way.
Our first stop was the stable to gather Fran and Sally. The stable master was much friendlier than on my one previous occasion. We waited for several moments, making small talk with the man while two stable-lads saddled and fetched the two horses.
When the lads returned leading our mounts, I was astonished to see General being led alongside old Fran. I had assumed the soldier had taken the big horse when he left early this morning. “Has my… husband… been by this morning?” I asked.
“No, ma’am.” At the mention of Grayson, the stableman backed up several steps as if expecting to see the younger man appear at my side at any time.
I could have told him that wouldn’t happen ¯ that the soldier had run off, but didn’t. Better to keep Amelia and myself as unremarkable as possible. We took charge of our horses and I had the stableman harness the General to Fran by way of a leading rope. I was unsettled at that notion ¯ unsure if the stubborn mount would object to following in Fran’s wake, but was determined to get far from town. I thought to go north, hoping to maybe find another group of travelers heading to Chicago ¯ or at least Indianapolis.
Though no expert on Indiana geography, I knew that the two great cities lay to the north and northwest. I had, years earlier, successfully navigated the paths from Maryland to Indiana with little mishap. Surely, I could find the way to Chicago.
We led the horses out of the barn and toward the main streets of the town of Paoli. It was set up in a square with a large courthouse of white stone with tall columns and beautiful grounds. It looked garishly out of place among the wood plank buildings facing it. My eyes scanned the storefronts and buildings as we passed, looking for some sign of the soldier and hating myself for feeling the need.
Why hadn’t he taken the General? Didn’t he know I wouldn’t have cared? What was I to do with the big horse? I had difficulty as it was just controlling Fran. Fran and Sally were my horses ¯ I felt no qualms about ownership of them, but the General was my uncle’s. I couldn’t risk selling him ¯ not if it meant jail and Amelia being returned to my uncle.
“Hey, now, ladies,” A voice called near my horse and I startled ¯ for a moment thinking it was the soldier. I peered around Fran’s chest to see a shabbily dressed man and two others leering at me. They were perhaps older than the soldier by a good five or so years, and most likely hadn’t seen the inside of a washtub in just as long. “Where ya’ headin’?”
“To join my husband. He’s waiting impatiently.” I held tightly to the leading reins of my horse, trying not to betray any hint of nervousness.
“Hear that boys? Her husband is waiting impatiently.” The one who had first spoken mocked me, stepping closer to Fran and closer to me as I kept myself partially hidden behind the old mare. The General snorted in protest as the man laid a hand on the big gelding’s side.
“Why don’t we accompany you to him, little lady.” The man gave a kitschy chuckle that froze my stomach. Pure malice reverberated in his tone and I motioned for my sister to stay close to her horse.
“That will not be necessary,” I told the man, “Grayson is waiting just ahead. He had some business to attend to.” I hoped and prayed they couldn’t discern that I was lying. I had never been a good liar.
“Now, we were only being hospitable,” one of the men said, though hidden by Fran’s bulk I couldn’t tell which one.
“Like I said, we are perfectly fine, sir.” There was no way Amelia and I could travel by horseback unescorted and that fact slammed into me as I stood facing the trio. We couldn't even walk down one small city block without being accosted ¯ what made me think we could travel over two hundred miles? I was foolish, tricking myself into a confidence that was misplaced. For a moment I damned the soldier ¯ wishing again I had not found him.
Guilt filled me, and I was ashamed at having such a thought. If I hadn’t found him, he’d be dead. Simple as that. I didn’t blame Grayson for leaving ¯ he obviously had duties he felt took precedence over two Yankee females. “Have a good day.”
I led the horses and my sister down the block a little more, feeling the stares of the three men as they stood near the open doors to what must have been a bar. Amelia had been silent, drawing the men’s attention little ¯ a fact I was quite grateful for. I didn’t know what to do, and the weight of our situation settled about my shoulders, making me feel more than a little ill.
We reached the edge of town, mounted the horses, and set out on the dirt road. I felt some relief that we were not traveling completely alone on the road¯that we at least had various merchants and farmers leaving town after selling their wares early this morning.
I thought once more of the soldier, wondering whether he was possessing of food and if he had purchased a train ticket to Louisville. Kentucky was a Union state; chock full of soldiers ¯ I worried he’d not find his men, would be found and shot dead. Even my uncle had discussed the shootings of Confederate prisoners being ordered by General Burbridge back in January. I couldn’t recall whether the military governor was still running the city, and I prayed fervently that he wasn’t. I could not bear the thought of Grayson being executed for being Confederate. Battle was one thing¯but being hauled in front of a mass of people and shot¯that was murder.
I checked Fran’s saddlebags, measuring the remainder of the flour. I estimated we had enough for two more days if used sparingly. If we stayed near a river or creek, Amelia could maybe catch some fish, so we wouldn’t starve. That was one worry I had been afraid to vocalize. I felt as ill-prepared for this journey as I had my first when just a girl. Then, though, I had had Rachel ¯ only fourteen at the time ¯ to help me. Of course, Amelia was young, but possessed the maturity and wisdom of a much older girl. That would be a blessing in the coming days.
As the hours passed, travelers on the road became sparser. We stopped for an hour near a large creek, eating the last of the leftover biscuits and washing them down with cool spring water. I had tested the water first, glad to find that it held no taste of the sulfur that some of the waterways possessed. North of my uncle’s farm were several underground rivers that rose sporadically. Many people claimed the waters possessed magic healing properties but I had little belief in that nonsense. After we ate our little lunch I sent Amelia searching through the nearby woods. It was time for the wild mushrooms to be prevalent and after the storm of last night and this morning’s heat, I felt the pickings would be ample. If she found enough we would have welcome divergence from biscuits and fish. I was brushing Fran, keeping an ear out for my sister, when I heard them approaching.
“Well, now. I take it your husband hasn’t completed his business?” The men who had addressed me in front of the tavern stood between me and the General. They grinned at me, leering, and I began to shake. What did they want?
“He’s with my sister. He’ll be back shortly.” I told him, stepping closer to Fran’s side. If they moved to attack me, I wanted to be close enough to mount.
“Now, here’s what I think. That man weren’t your husband.” One man said as he moved to my left. “I think you just said that like.”
“If he wasn’t my husband ¯ would I have this horse?” I asked, motioning to the General. The horse must have sensed the tension rippling along my spine for he pranced, pawing the ground, with his ear
s flat and the whites of his eyes showing.
I pulled on his leading rein and he settled slightly, though he watched the men with wariness and trepidation. The other two men closed in, trapping me against Fran’s side. They were so close I smelled the stale sweat emanating from them and I prayed with silent fervor that my sister would stay in the woods until these men finished whatever it was they were about.
“Where’s the girl?” Another of the men asked.
“With my husband.” I had no room to mount, caught between the men and my horse, still tethered to the General. I was afraid to scream, certain it would bring my sister running. We had seen no one on the road for several hours and I had no hope that anyone would hear me.
The General reared, pulling on the strap containing him, and jerking Fran in his direction. This freed up some space behind me, as the gentler of the horses moved closer to the gelding. I used the opportunity to grasp the saddle horn and pull myself into the saddle. I had become more adept at mounting in the past few days ¯ a skill I was grateful for now. From my new vantage point I was able to see the three mounts that had brought the men this far and I wondered if they had deliberately followed my sister and me.
I kept my eyes on the three men as they crowded closer to Fran and the General. I couldn’t leave¯not with Amelia still happily hunting mushrooms in the woods. If they wanted to, they could pull me off of Fran with little difficulty. I had no weapon, no gun, nothing suitable for defending myself ¯ all at once I cursed Grayson. How could he leave me alone like this?
The ringleader of the men stepped toward me and I jerked the horse around, putting her head between us. It made the man angry and he grabbed the bridle, controlling Fran. “Let go of my horse, sir, and let me on my way.”
“Or what?” the man jeered, looking about as if to say who is to stop me from doing whatever I want?
