Burning Love (Hearts on Fire #2)

by Heather Lyn

  Grayson: I’m sorry for our fight. I’m also sorry you felt you couldn’t talk to me. I know why you’re doing this and I understand. Just please know that you can always talk to me. I’m always going to be in your corner, and you will never have to wonder what love feels like. I’m sorry for everything, baby. Just please come back to me when you’re done.

  Tears are pouring down my cheeks, and it’s taking everything in me to not call him, to not respond. But I can’t. I need to focus on today. I just need to do what I came here to do and then I can go home. Quickly running my brush through my hair, I pull it up into a ponytail and grab my purse. Shutting the hotel room door behind me, I make my way out to my car and pull out the piece of paper with my mom’s address.

  It wasn’t hard to find where she lives since she has her address listed, but I haven’t been to Knoxville in years so I pull up the GPS on my phone and plug in her street. It’s only going to take me fifteen minutes to get to her house. Taking a deep breath, I decide to forgo coffee and just get this over with. I roll my windows down and turn on my favorite playlist, hoping to calm my anxiety. As I drive, I realize that maybe Grayson coming with me wouldn’t have been a bad idea. I miss him.

  I pull onto my mom’s street a little while later and I’m appalled. It’s filled with tiny run-down houses, with messy overgrown yards and broken cars everywhere. Reaching my mother’s house, I see that hers is actually one of the neater ones, but it’s definitely a neglected home. One of the shutters is falling off the window, and one of the windows on the garage is broken. There is an older-model Ford in the driveway, and I park next to it. Smoothing down my hair, I shut the engine off and take a deep breath.

  You can do this. Show her who’s boss.

  I grab my purse and climb out of my car, making sure to hit the locks a couple times. I head up the narrow and cracked walkway, climbing up the couple steps to the front door. There is no doorbell, so I knock several times loudly. I hear someone moving around inside, and I brace myself for whatever is on the other side of the door. A moment later the door swings open and I’m face-to-face with the woman who gave me life. I’m horrified.

  I was always the spitting image of my mom, but not anymore. Her once long and beautiful brown hair is now pixie short, gray streaks all through it. Her brown eyes that resemble mine are bloodshot, and she’s eerily thin. She’s wearing a thin, dirty tank top and a pair of old pajama pants. And Jesus, she reeks of booze.

  “Yeah, can I help you?”

  Oh my God. She doesn’t even recognize her own daughter.

  “It’s me, Mom. Kennedy?”

  I see recognition wash over her features and she gives me a wry grin, chuckling quietly.

  “Kennedy. Yes, of course. Please come in. You’ll have to excuse the mess. I wasn’t exactly expecting you. Come in.”

  I follow her inside and I’m immediately overwhelmed. The place stinks of stale cigarettes and alcohol. The first thought I have is how filthy it is. There are dirty dishes everywhere in her small kitchen, and the living room looks like it hasn’t been dusted in years. She motions to the couch as she takes a seat in the armchair across from me.

  “It’s good to see you, Mom,” I say quietly. I never thought this was what I would find. I knew she was still drinking, but this is far worse than I had expected.

  Shaking her head, she picks up a small bottle off her coffee table. “Yeah, I’m sure. Now where is my money? Clearly, you’re going to make me work for it. So say your peace and then be on your way, girl. I have more important things to do today.” Reaching down, she picks up a box of Marlboros and takes one out, swiftly lighting it and taking a long drag.

  Shaking my head, I sit back on the couch.

  “I’m not here to give you money, Mom. I came to talk to you. But, more importantly, I’m your daughter. You should be happy to see me,” I grit out. I need to keep my temper in check, but this is going to be hard. I cannot believe the condition she’s put herself in.

  “Oh please. You didn’t come here to talk. You came here to show me how well you’re doing. That you got along just fine without me, that you never needed me. That’s what your ungrateful sister told me a long time ago.”

  “You and Hilary don’t speak anymore?”

  “Oh, we speak. She comes over once a week to clean up around here. But the lazy bitch stopped giving me money, so I don’t care anymore.”

  I’m not too surprised to hear that my sister is still catering to Mom, but then again she did take her side in the divorce.

  “Listen, Mom, I came here to talk to you about something. And I need you to listen very carefully. I am not giving you any money. You need to stop calling me. Stop writing to me. My lawyer will serve you with a restraining order if you don’t stop. I owe you nothing, and you’d be smart to listen to me.” I keep my voice as steady as I can, not wanting to give away how hard this is.

  My mom just laughs at me, taking a swig from her bottle.

  “Oh, Kennedy. Do you really think I give a shit about your half-witted threats? I don’t care anymore about your money. I really don’t. Best decision I ever made was letting your piece-of-shit daddy leave me. How’s the asshole doing, by the way?”

  “I wouldn’t know. He left me too.” I have to blink the tears out of my eyes.

  “What a shame. Clearly I’m not the only one who got sick of you.”

  I didn’t expect to care about what insults my mom threw at me, but she’s really become a bitter and cruel person. I’m not sure if it’s the years of substance abuse, or if she really for some reason thinks we’re all at fault for her divorce. But I can’t listen to it anymore.

  “Shut up!” I shout, jumping up to stand in front of her. “What went on between you and Dad had nothing to do with me. Or Hilary. You cheated on Dad, drank all of the time and broke up our family. You’re the alcoholic. You’re the one who ruined all of us. Dad may have left me, but it’s only because you broke him beyond repair. You sit here and play the victim, trying to make me feel worthless. Well, Mom, guess what? You are the one who wasn’t wanted. Why do you think I never tried to find you after Dad shipped me off to college? Because I hate you! You ruined my life! You and Dad both ruined my life! I was eighteen years old. I was your fucking child. You were supposed to take care of me. You were supposed to love me! And you threw me away. How dare you treat me like this!”

  Leaning down, I grab the papers my lawyer wrote up outlining what will happen if my mother ever contacts me again. I throw them at her, then turn around and pick up my purse.

  “You may have chosen the bottle, but you missed out on everything. I graduated college, and I made something of myself in spite of you. In spite of Dad. I could have taken the same route as you and become a useless piece of shit, but I didn’t. I have a career, an amazing boyfriend, friends, and a family. I have everything despite what you did to me. So fuck you! Go to hell. And if you ever contact me again, I’ll have your drunk ass thrown in jail!”

  Turning around, I storm from her house, slamming the door behind me. I climb into my car and back out as quickly as I can. I’m breathing hard and my hands are shaking. I drive straight back to the hotel and run inside, not stopping until I’m in the safety of my room. I shut and latch the door, and without a second’s hesitation I fall onto the bed. In a matter of seconds I’m sobbing and gasping for breath, my heart shattering into a million pieces. I don’t know why, but this hurts so much more than I thought it would.

  My mother doesn’t care about me. She doesn’t want me. She doesn’t regret that I left her life, and I cannot fathom how much she must hate me. Lying there on a hotel bed, two hours from the only place I’ve ever felt at home, I wish I hadn’t come.

  What did I think, that she’d welcome me with open arms and beg for rehab? I’m so stupid.

  Rolling onto my side, I send a text to Grayson.

  Kennedy: Need you.

  Grayson: What?

  Kennedy: I was wrong. So wrong.

  Grayson:
Answer your phone.

  Seconds later my phone goes off with an incoming video call. I know I must look like a total disaster, but I don’t care. Sitting up and not bothering to wipe my tears, I hit accept. Grayson’s concerned face fills my screen and it only causes me to cry harder.

  “Jesus, baby. What’s going on? What happened? Are you okay?”

  “She...hates...me...I….” I’m having trouble getting the words out and I’m about to throw myself into a full-blown panic attack if I don’t calm down.

  “Baby, listen to me. Close your eyes and listen to me. Deep breaths, Kennedy. Take slow, deep breaths. You need to calm yourself down. It’s okay, baby. I promise.”

  Closing my eyes, I let the deep rasp of my boyfriend’s voice fill my ears. I concentrate on doing what he says, and after a few minutes my heart stops racing and I feel better. Slowly opening my eyes, I find Grayson staring at me, his eyes filled with emotion and love.

  “There’s my beautiful girl. You okay, sweetheart?”

  Tears instantly fill my eyes again and I let them fall down my cheeks.

  “She hates me. Told me the best decision she ever made was watching me and my dad leave her and Hilary. Her life was easier because we weren’t around. She didn’t want me anymore,” I whisper.

  “Oh, baby.” Grayson sighs and runs a hand down his face.

  “I was so stupid to come here. I should’ve listened to you and Aubs. I shouldn’t have left you like I did. I should’ve just talked to you. I’m so sorry, Grayson. You have been nothing but supportive and loving and I’ve treated you like shit. I’m no better than my mom,” I cry, finally expelling everything I’ve held in for so long.

  “I wanted to be a mom so bad, Gray. So fucking bad. I never thought I’d get that chance, and then you came along. And I felt like maybe I’d finally get my chance. And you know why I wanted to be a mom so bad? Because I wanted to show a child unconditional love. That even though times get hard, you love your children through it. You never throw them away.” I’m crying so much harder than I ever thought possible, and through my tears I can see Grayson wiping a few off his own cheeks.

  “And when that nurse came in and told me that I lost our baby, it felt like a knife to the stomach. It felt like I could never be happy again. I thought I was okay, but then every night we went to bed and you’d lie behind me, I couldn’t stop thinking that in only a few months we’d be finding out what we were having, setting up a nursery. Picking out names. And I was just so overwhelmingly sad that no matter what I did or said, I wanted to cry.”

  Taking a deep breath, I grab a tissue from the nightstand and blow my nose.

  “I wanted our baby so badly, Gray,” I whisper, my voice rough from my tears.

  “Kennedy, baby, I need you to listen to me for a few minutes, okay?”

  I nod at him, and he gives me a small smile.

  “I wanted our baby too. It devastates me that we lost that little peanut, but I need you to understand something. Baby or not, I fucking love you. I want to be with you. I understand everything that you’re feeling because I feel it too. You do not ever need to hide how you’re feeling from me. If you need to cry every day, then you cry every single fucking day. I’ve shed more tears than you even realize, and it’s because I’ve been trying to be strong for you. But you know what I’ve realized, baby?”

  He smiles at me, tears shining in his beautiful hazel eyes.

  “It’s okay to not be strong. It’s okay to not be okay. But we’re gonna get okay. And we’re gonna do it together. Losing our baby hurt, Kennedy, but losing you would kill me. I told you I was in this with you, baby. No matter how much you try to push me away, I’m not going anywhere. I love you. And nothing you say or do is going to change that. You are my life, Kennedy Grant, and I love you so damn much.”

  Despite my tears, I smile, staring into the eyes of the most amazing person I have ever known. “I love you too, Grayson. So much.”

  “Now come home, Kennedy. To your family. Me, Aubrey, Noah. We’re your family, baby. And we’re never going to turn our backs on you.”

  Nodding, I allow myself to cry for a few more minutes. Then I look up at Grayson through my swollen red eyes.

  “Okay. I’m coming home.”

  He’s right. They are my family. And I love them more than anything.

  CHAPTER 18

  Grayson

  My girl is coming home. Thank you, God.

  I knew Kennedy’s trip to see her mother wouldn’t go well. I knew she’d get hurt. When she came up on my phone, sobbing and bordering on a panic attack, I wanted to go to Knoxville and beat the shit out of her mother. Not that I would ever lay my hands on a woman, but with her mom I was tempted. How could someone not want Kennedy? She is single-handedly the most beautiful person I have ever known. She lights up everyone’s life.

  I hate that I’m still stuck at the firehouse, but I know she’s coming home and I just have to get through this shift. After I got off the phone with her, I found Noah so he could let Aubrey know what was going on. We went into the kitchen to grab some coffee.

  “So what happened?” Noah asks, handing me a cup of black coffee and then pouring a mug for himself.

  “Exactly what I knew would happen. Her mother was drunk and said some really terrible things to her. Told her that she didn’t feel sorry for doing what she did. Kennedy was devastated, obviously. Bawling her fucking eyes out when I video called her.”

  Noah shakes his head. “What a fucking bitch,” he mutters.

  “You’re telling me.”

  We don’t have many calls the rest of the shift. I have no idea when Kennedy will be back, and once I’m off shift I plan on going over to her place. I don’t care if I have to pack all her shit myself, but that girl is not spending another day away from me ever again.

  Once the clock hits seven, I go racing to my bunk to grab all my crap. Noah tells me to let him know how everything goes, and I take off for my truck and head home. When I pull in the driveway, Kennedy’s car is parked there. Hopping down from my truck, I jog over to the house. Stepping inside, I find her coming out of the kitchen, bottle of water in hand.

  She lets out a small giggle and comes barreling at me. I gladly let her, catching her in my arms. Immediately I take her soft lips with mine, licking my way into her mouth. I spin around and she wraps her legs around my waist as I lean her against the front door, tangling one of my hands in her soft hair. Tearing my lips from hers, I rest my forehead on hers, looking deep into her beautiful brown eyes.

  “I missed you so much, baby. God, I love you so much. Please don’t ever leave me again. Next time there’s a problem, just talk to me. We can figure anything out as long as we do it together.”

  Kennedy smiles at me, tears swimming in the corners of her eyes. “I love you so much, Gray. I’m so sorry I didn’t have more faith in us. Never again, I promise.”

  Not bothering to respond, I slam my lips back down on hers. Grabbing her again, I carry her to the bedroom and drop her on the bed. In seconds we’ve both torn the clothes from one another, exchanging wet kisses, our tongues dueling. Parting her thighs, I don’t give her any warning before taking her hard swollen clit between my lips, suckling hard.

  Kennedy cries out and arches her back, gripping my hair tightly. I gently run two fingers through her wetness and then slip them into her. Groaning around her clit, I feel her latch onto my fingers, hips rocking back and forth. I can tell how close she is, so I reach up with me free hand and pinch one of her stiff nipples. She comes on a loud moan, her release dripping down my fingers.

  While she’s still coming down from her orgasm, I reach over her to grab a condom. She stops me, looking at me through hooded eyes.

  “No condom. I don’t ever want anything between us again,” she whispers.

  “But you aren’t on anything.”

  “I don’t care. If it happens, then whatever. I just want us to be with each other fully. Please, Grayson. Make love to me. I love you so muc
h, baby.”

  Baby.

  Gathering her in my arms, I lean down and kiss her, bracing myself on my elbows. She opens her legs and hooks them around my hips. My cock is aching to be inside her, and in one swift thrust I bury myself to the hilt in her tight heat.

  “Fuuuuck, baby,” I groan, dropping my head into the crook of her neck. I have to take a moment to calm myself or I’m going to be coming inside her like a teenager getting his fucking rocks off.

  She giggles and kisses my shoulder.

  “Hey, what did I say about laughing when your boyfriend is inside you?” I lean up and flex my hips, her laugh dying on a breathy moan.

  “Oh...you said it’s not nice. Fuck, you feel so good, Gray. I missed this.”

  I don’t answer, just start moving in and out of her nice and slow, relishing in how good she feels. I can’t get deep enough, close enough. I’ve never been more in love with her than I am at this moment.

  “Fuck, Kennedy. Your pussy feels so good, baby. You feel how fucking hard I am for you? You want it harder, baby?”

  She doesn’t answer, just moans before leaning up to capture my mouth with hers. I slam my hips harder, driving her up the bed farther. Her nails dig into my hips as I start to move faster.

  “You gonna come, baby?” I groan against her neck.

  “Yeah, I’m gonna come, Grayson. Harder. Fuck me harder, baby.”

  I do just that, grunting with each thrust. I reach a hand down to her hardened clit and pinch it. Kennedy arches her back, screaming out my name as she begins to orgasm. Her pussy clamps down on my cock and I feel myself getting even harder. Then I throw my head back as she takes me over the edge with her.

  Our bodies are slick with sweat and we shudder through our orgasms together, never breaking our kiss. Kennedy has one hand on the small of my back, the other in my damp hair. I let myself collapse on top of her and then roll to my side. I pull out of her and climb off the bed, heading into the bathroom to get cleaned up before coming back out with a washcloth for her. I grab a pair of boxers from my bureau and she puts her panties back on. I toss her one of my shirts and she pulls it on over her head.