Randall Renegade

by Judy Christenberry

  Patience stopped his words by covering his mouth with her hand. “No, Jim, I don’t want to discuss it. I always say the wrong thing. I won’t hold you to anything right now. You’re safe. Just…love me.”

  This time she kissed him, needing his touch now more than ever.

  He smiled at her after their kiss and took her nightgown away from her. “You won’t be needing this, honey.” Then he began unbuttoning her knit top. She’d assumed she’d be horribly embarrassed, but she found she wasn’t. This was Jim, and Jim was the right person, whatever happened. She began unbuttoning his shirt, too.

  “Damn!”

  Patience jerked her eyes open. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t suppose you’re on the Pill, are you?”

  It took her a moment for his words to sink in. “Uh, no.”

  “Okay. I’ve got to go to my bedroom.”

  She moaned. How could he do this to her when she’d finally gotten up the nerve to tell him what she wanted?

  He kissed her. “Not for the night, honey. I’ve got to go get protection. It won’t take but a couple of minutes.”

  “Oh. Okay.” She kept telling herself she was pleased that he’d thought of it. “Sure. I’ll wait here.”

  He kissed her again quickly and backed out of her bedroom.

  She only hoped he remembered to button his shirt before he went through the kitchen.

  WHEN JIM RUSHED back up the stairs, after trying to appear calm as he strode through the kitchen, he found Patience’s bedroom door closed.

  What would he do if she’d changed her mind? He certainly hadn’t. He rapped softly on the door. “It’s me,” he said.

  “Come in,” her sweet voice called out. So far, so good. Jim opened the door to find the room darkened. “Patience?” he called, reaching for the lightswitch.

  “No, Jim, don’t turn on the light.”

  “Why not?” he asked as he approached the bed. In the shadows, he could see Patience in the bed, the covers drawn to her neck. “Did you change your mind? If you did, I won’t be angry. I know this is a difficult time for you.”

  “I thought you wanted me.”

  “I do. Absolutely. But I don’t want to force you or anything.”

  She threw back the covers, revealing her naked body. “Does this look like you have to force me?”

  “Mercy,” he muttered, and began tugging off his boots and unfastening his jeans as fast as he could.

  She sat up and began unbuttoning his shirt again. In less than a minute, he was as naked as she was, and sliding under the covers, flesh against flesh.

  He kissed her, his hands touching her everywhere. She loved the feel of him, the warmth of him and, most of all, his eagerness. Just when she thought she was going to explode, he stopped moving.

  “Jim? What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”

  “Hardly,” he told her, chuckling, “but my trip to get the condoms was a waste of time if we don’t use them.”

  “Oh!”

  He reached over her, found his jeans on the floor and fished a condom out of his pocket. After he’d prepared himself, he turned his complete attention back to Patience. Then he positioned himself over her, eager to become one with the only woman he’d ever loved.

  As he pushed her legs apart and began his entry, something kept niggling in his mind. When he felt the initial resistance, he knew what it was. She was a virgin.

  Patience almost whimpered his name. “Jim?”

  “Honey, why didn’t you say it was your first time?” He gritted his teeth.

  “Because it doesn’t matter. I want you!” she exclaimed. “Do you want me or not?”

  “Of course I want you. There’s no question of that.”

  “Then make love to me, please,” she said quietly.

  Jim gave up. They’d talk tomorrow, he assured himself, but he couldn’t turn down what he wanted so badly. He built their momentum to fever-pitch again, to make it less painful for Patience. Then he pushed through.

  She gasped, and he stroked her body, whispering sweet words in her ear. When she began to relax, he started moving, creating a rhythm that seemed to explode between them only a few minutes later.

  He removed the condom and deposited it in the wastebasket beside the bed. Then he cuddled Patience in his arms, remembering their night in the cabin. “Patience?” he whispered.

  “Just hold me, Jim. Just hold me,” she pleaded as she pressed against him.

  That he could do. In fact, he intended to do so for the rest of their lives. He’d tell her so tomorrow.

  THEY’D MADE LOVE again a couple of hours after the first time. Again, as Patience had requested, there’d been no conversation. Afterwards they’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms.

  When Jim awoke the next morning, it was very early. But he’d slept better than he had for months. He grinned. No wonder. He’d made love to Patience. He’d like to wake her now and make love again, but he’d only brought two condoms to her room last night.

  He’d better concentrate on getting to the bachelor pad and taking a shower before the rest of the house was up. He had about fifteen minutes before Red appeared in the kitchen.

  He quietly dressed, forcing himself to leave without kissing Patience. He didn’t want to disturb her sleep when there was nothing he could do about it.

  Half an hour later, he entered the kitchen and filled a mug of the coffee Red had brewed. “Morning, Red.”

  “Morning, boy. Patience okay?”

  “Yeah, she’s fine.” Jim didn’t meet his gaze.

  “How about I fix her breakfast and you can carry a tray up?”

  “Good idea. She might be tired. All this stress can get to a person.” Jim hoped Red prepared a tray soon. He’d rather not face his father this morning. Not until he’d had a chance to talk to Patience.

  When Drew and Josh came in, Jim realized they were coming off guard duty. “Any problems last night?” he asked.

  “Nope,” Drew replied. “It was so quiet we had trouble staying awake.”

  “Good. I hope Kane’s given up and gone away.” Now that he and Patience were together again, he could almost forgive Joseph Kane for his crazy behavior. Without it, he might still be sitting here miserable and alone, with a big chip on his shoulder.

  Instead, he’d held Patience all night long, just as he’d dreamed.

  “Look at him,” Drew said, poking Josh. “We lost a lot of sleep and he’s sitting there grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary.”

  Jim wiped the smile from his face. “Sorry, I was thinking of something else.”

  “Here’s the girl’s tray, Jim,” Red said. “Get it up to her before it gets cold.”

  Delighted with Red’s timing, Jim nodded to his brother and cousin and, grabbing the tray, beat a retreat. As he climbed the stairs, he noticed that Red had included a second cup of coffee for him.

  He didn’t bother to knock on the door. He expected Patience to still be sleeping in the big bed they’d shared. He shut the door behind him and turned to the bed, a smile on his face.

  The bed was empty.

  He hurriedly set down the tray and scooted to the bathroom down the hall. Knocking on the door, he quietly called, “Patience?”

  “Yes?”

  Relief filled him. “I’ve got a breakfast tray for you in the bedroom.”

  She didn’t respond. “Patience, did you hear me?” he asked.

  “Yes. But take it back downstairs. I’ll be down in a minute.”

  “But, honey, I thought we could talk about last night. You know, have a little privacy.”

  She yanked open the door, a frown on her face. “I told you last night I didn’t want to discuss it. I still don’t. I’ll get the tray.” She tried to brush past him.

  Hurt by her behavior, Jim held her back. “I’ll get the damned tray. You can skitter down the stairs to safety!” He was practically shouting by the time he finished.

  “Thank you,” she said coolly,
and walked past him.

  He stood there, boiling mad that she could dismiss their lovemaking as she had. Was she through with him? The thought almost stopped his heart.

  He went back to her room and picked up the tray, his movements so hurried that the coffee slopped on to the tray. He reached the kitchen in time to hear her say to Red, “You don’t need to wait on me. I’ll take my breakfast with everyone else.”

  “We start early around here,” Red warned.

  “Tommy does, too. I’m used to early hours.”

  Patience then sat down beside Drew and began talking to him.

  Jim frowned at her. What was she doing? He set the tray down hard, spilling more coffee, and set the full plate of food in front of her. “I’ll refill the mugs,” he muttered. He took the tray to the sink and poured off the spilled coffee, then topped off the mugs. He almost spilled them again when he turned and saw Patience laugh at something Drew said and reach out to lightly tap his arm.

  “Jim! Be careful or you’re gonna scald yourself,” Red warned.

  “Yeah,” Jim muttered as he reached the table and sat down on Patience’s other side.

  “Haven’t you eaten already?” she asked.

  “Yeah. What’s it to you?” he growled.

  Drew stared at him. “Wow, that was quick. Five minutes ago you were smiling to beat the band. Now you sound like a real sourpuss. What happened?”

  “Mind your own business,” Jim growled, not looking at Patience or his brother.

  After Patience finished her breakfast and put her dishes in the dishwasher, she left the kitchen to go check on Tommy. Jim followed her. “Wait a minute.”

  She turned to look at him. “What?”

  “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but don’t flirt with Drew. That’s not fair!”

  “Flirt with Drew? Don’t be ridiculous. I was just talking to him.”

  “Yeah, right!” He wasn’t buying it.

  “Morning,” Megan called as she came down the stairs. “Everything okay this morning?”

  “Yes, fine,” Patience assured her as she stepped aside. “I’m just going up to check on Tommy.”

  “I think Elizabeth is doing the same thing. I heard voices in the boys’ bedroom.”

  “Oh, I’d better hurry. I don’t want to give her double duty.” With a smile, Patience hurried up the stairs.

  Jim stood there, staring after her as if someone had stolen his favorite toy.

  “What’s wrong, son?”

  “Uh, nothing, Mom. I was just wondering if I needed to follow. I’m not moving as fast as usual, you know.”

  “Come have some coffee with me. I’m sure Davy and Tommy will be down to breakfast soon. I don’t want you overdoing things.”

  The rest of the day followed the same pattern. Patience avoided being alone with him at every turn. He tried to figure out what she was thinking. He even asked his father in a roundabout way, but Chad only shrugged. “Better ask your mother. Women are hard to figure out.”

  Jim had no intention of approaching his mother. She’d have all his secrets out of him in no time. She was good at that.

  When Tommy went down for his afternoon nap, Jim caught Patience in the hallway alone. “What are you—”

  She broke in with, “You’d better go gather some of your things and put them in my room, so you don’t have to run back and forth every day.”

  He stared at her, stunned by the implications of her words. She pulled from his hold and continued on down the stairs.

  By the time he collected himself, she was out of sight. It took him only a couple of minutes to decide to do as she suggested. He wasn’t strong enough to resist making love to her tonight if that was what she wanted. So he’d get some clothes and every condom he had, and move them to her room.

  That night, she went up to bed when he was speaking with his father, and it took him a few minutes to get free. He hurried upstairs as fast as he could, anxious to discover if she’d meant what she’d implied earlier.

  When he opened the door, the light was again off and Patience was in bed.

  He gulped and cleared his throat. “Do you want me to stay here with you?”

  “Yes, of course,” she agreed calmly, reaching a bare arm toward him.

  He abandoned his clothing in a flash and joined her under the covers as he had the previous night. The condoms he’d left on the bedside table were quite handy…fortunately.

  The next morning, he didn’t worry about disturbing Patience’s sleep. He kissed her awake and they made love in the early-morning light. He couldn’t think of a better way to start the day.

  After he rolled off her, he leaned over and kissed her lips again. “Good morning.”

  “Morning,” Patience said, but she was already trying to slide out of bed.

  “Wait a minute, honey,” he said, catching her arm. “We need to talk.”

  “No, we don’t. I told you I don’t want to talk.”

  “But we can’t continue like this,” he protested, wanting to explain his plans for the future.

  She misinterpreted his meaning. “If you don’t want to sleep with me, Jim, stop climbing into bed with me.” Then she stood and pulled on her robe. Before he could recover from the surprise and the pleasure of seeing her nude again, she was out the door and headed for the bathroom.

  What was wrong with her? Why was she acting as if what they did at night had no meaning?

  He knew she hadn’t behaved like this in the past. Not with him, not with anyone. So what was going on?

  When she returned from her shower, she told him he’d better hurry if he wanted to use the bathroom. She thought her mother would be heading there in a few minutes.

  He was out the door at once. Then he remembered Mrs. Anderson’s saying yesterday that she didn’t get up until around eight. Patience had suckered him into rushing into the bathroom so she could go downstairs without him.

  When he went downstairs, she and Elizabeth were taking care of the children, and she declined his assistance.

  And that was how the entire day went. By the time he went upstairs after her that night, he’d given up trying to talk to her. But he couldn’t give up making love to her. Again she welcomed him to her bed and enthusiastically participated in the lovemaking.

  He decided she had some kind of plan that she didn’t want to share with him. But as long as she let him make love to her, he didn’t think he had the energy to resist.

  The next morning, however, when they were both having breakfast with his parents, she announced she was going into town.

  “What?” Jim demanded at once, noting the surprise on all the other adults’ faces, too.

  “I’m going to town. I need to check on the house. And get my gun. The waiting period is over.”

  “But Patience,” Chad said, watching both her and Jim, “I don’t think it’s safe yet.”

  “Mr. Randall, I appreciate everyone’s hospitality and sacrifice, but it can’t go on forever. There’s been no sign of Kane—I think I must have imagined seeing him. It’s time to get Tommy’s life and mine back on track. Besides, I’ll be getting custody of Tommy soon, and Kane will have to leave us alone.”

  Jim considered arguing with her, but he decided to do that later. Right now he needed to ensure she spent her day safely. “I’ll go with you,” he said, his voice like steel.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Patience’s car hadn’t been started for several days and it took a minute to warm up. “Good thing I wasn’t trying to make a fast exit.”

  “Seems to me your exit was pretty fast as it was.” Jim stared straight ahead.

  She shifted into reverse and began backing up. Her little car was parked between two large trucks. She shifted into first and headed down the long driveway.

  “I’ve leaned on your family for too long already. Besides, there’s obviously no danger. No one has seen or heard from Kane since we came down from the mountains.”

  “What about
your seeing him in town?”

  Patience shrugged. “I think I just panicked because someone resembled Kane. If it had been him, he would’ve made his move by now.”

  “What if you’re wrong?” Jim still stared straight ahead, his voice cold.

  Patience mentally compared the warm, loving man she’d spent the night with to the angry man beside her now. She wanted to be able to fall into his arms and leave her safety up to him. But she couldn’t. And the nights spent in his arms were making her weak.

  She had to protect her family. That was her job. And she couldn’t make Jim responsible for her and Tommy just because she’d slept with him. He’d believe forever that she had purposely trapped him. Which was why she had to end her stay at the Randall Ranch.

  Because she also had to end her affair with Jim.

  Slowly, each word measured, she said, “If I’m wrong, I’ll be the only one hurt.”

  “And Tommy?”

  “I…I want to ask a favor, Jim. If something happens to me, would you keep an eye on Tommy?”

  “Pull over!” Jim snapped.

  She eased the car to a halt on the side of the county road. “Yes?”

  “Don’t you know how much it would hurt me if anything happened to you?”

  Now it was her turn to stare straight ahead. She couldn’t face him.

  When she didn’t respond, Jim grabbed her shoulders and turned her toward him. “Patience, what’s going on? You know I love you!”

  “No, I don’t,” she said, trying to twist free.

  Jim withdrew his hands. “What?”

  “I know you like to have sex with me. That’s all I know.”

  “Because you kept telling me you didn’t want to talk. I don’t understand what you’re doing, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

  “Jim, we had…sex because we both wanted it. That’s all. I wasn’t trying to trick you into marriage. I didn’t ask for a proposal before I’d sleep with you.”

  Jim was confused. “What are you saying?”

  “Nothing. I’m saying nothing, and I don’t intend to spend the day on the side of the road involved in a meaningless discussion.” She put her car in gear and drove on toward Rawhide.