Wanderlove

by Malory, Belle

  “Just say it,” I told them both. “I can handle it.”

  Gabe’s expression hardened. He crossed his arms over his chest grudgingly. “Go on,” he said, allowing Baro to continue.

  “Now that your memories are coming back, this situation has become a little dire.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “There are people out there, other gypsies, who know who you are. The best mind readers will be on the lookout for your thoughts and memories. Once they’ve picked up your. . .frequency, if you will, we are going to have trouble. I believe there will be those who come looking for you in order to capture you. . .Lola, what I’m trying to say is: Now that some of your memories have been exposed, your very life is at stake.”

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  It turned out Baro was a great cook. He prepared several traditional dishes from Romania, some of which I hadn’t tasted in years. He filled the table with saramura, stuffed peppers, assorted sausages, cabbage rolls and several soups and stews. And since Baro now considered himself an American, he even baked a turkey.

  Everything I tasted was so incredibly delicious. The food was reminiscent of Redwood Forest, the gathering point for all gypsies. Regrettably, there had been no one in our troupe who enjoyed cooking very much and so I didn’t often come across the chance to enjoy a meal like this. Since the performers were our cover and everyone else was talented in other areas, (robbery being the main area of expertise), we didn’t have time for cooking and we ate on the road more often than not. Sometimes, it could be enjoyable. We were able to try a lot of foods from various cultures. But Baro’s meal simply beat out all the rest.

  Everyone at the table mostly just ate over dinner, with very light conversation. Thankfully, Molly didn’t speak to me. In fact, she did her best to ignore me, pretending like I wasn’t even in the room. I was fine with it. I wasn’t up to trading barbs with her, anyway.

  I was still reflecting on everything Baro had said to me earlier, wondering what danger lay in my future now that my memories were coming back. I desperately wished I could speak with Zetta. I was beginning to realize how much I had relied on her wisdom over the years. It was unsettling, not knowing what my future held. What if I didn’t even have a future now?

  I felt Gabe’s hand reach for mine underneath the table. I turned to him, noticing his expression was as worried as my own.

  “Are you okay?” he whispered so that no one else would hear. Everyone else’s attention was currently turned to Cam, listening as he gave his opinions about the upcoming presidential elections.

  “I’m fine,” I replied. I gave a small smile, trying to prove it.

  “I was thinking that maybe you could move into the house. You know, for added protection. We have four empty bedrooms here and you can have your pick.”

  I shook my head. “Don’t be ridiculous,” I told him. “I’m only next door and within your line of vision.”

  He didn’t seem to approve of my reply, and told me so. “It’s still not close enough.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I assured him. “Besides, I don’t think we shouldn’t worry until I start remembering everything.”

  He sighed, a heavy sound. “I saw what happened last time, Lo. I don’t want to take chances this time around. I can’t lose you again.”

  I felt something flutter within the pit of my stomach. Butterflies, I’d heard it called that before. His determination to keep me and that fire growing within his typically cool eyes simply won me over.

  And that’s when I knew it couldn’t go any farther than this. Gabe and I would never be together again. Sadly, I was steadily realizing that maybe we were never meant to.

  I stared at him gloomily. He was truly beautiful. My eyes wandered over the strong lines of his jaw, his straight nose, his absorbing eyes. . .I wondered if this was the last chance I would ever have to view him so candidly.

  After dinner, Baro invited me to play a game of poker with the rest of the family. I told him I was tired and I should probably go home. I hugged everyone goodbye, with the exception of Molly, and then Gabe walked me back to Miriam’s house.

  We were both quiet as we walked along the beach. Our sandals sank into the silky sand, causing the walk to take longer than if we had chosen to stroll along the grass. Gabe held my hand securely in his. Again, I found myself wondering if it belonged there.

  “Gabe, there’s something I need to say to you.”

  He stopped, turning to face me. “What is it?” he asked.

  “I want you to marry Annika.”

  There. I said it.

  The words were out of my mouth and I could never take them back.

  A flash of pain struck in his gaze, but it quickly disappeared, overshadowed by something else. I couldn’t read him. I had no idea what he was thinking.

  Suddenly, Gabe grasped both of my arms and drew me towards him. His hands ran up the sides of my arms until he reached my neck. Then he drew me completely against him, tilting me backwards. A tingling sensation ran up the length of my spine, sending chills over my entire body.

  I began to panic.

  Was he about to kiss me? Did I even want him to kiss me? This was not exactly what I’d anticipated might happen after telling Gabe that I wanted him to marry Annika.

  With the gentlest touch, Gabe traced a finger across my jaw and then along my bottom lip. The warmth of his touch lingered along my skin even after he stopped.

  “Tell me,” his voice was ragged as he whispered in my ear. “How could you possibly want something like that?”

  “I umm. . .” My train of thought was shattered.

  The closeness of him, that clean, citrusy scent, his warmth, his hand across my back that kept me from falling- I didn’t want to break away from any of it.

  “Do you remember what it was like when we touched like this? Do you remember the fire that ignited between us?”

  Though I could hear his words, I couldn’t quite grasp what he was saying. He never did give me the chance to answer, anyway. The next thing I knew, he was leaning over me, his warm lips lightly touching mine. Touching quickly became tasting, and suddenly, it felt as if he were absorbing me completely.

  He couldn’t get close enough, and his hands became disheveled into my hair as he tried to pull me even closer to him. Gently, he prodded my lips open, surprising me for a split second by the way he invaded my mouth. I wasn’t sure exactly when I became participatory in the kiss, but I began feeling an urgency that matched his. I clung to his arms, feeling the strong muscles beneath my grip, and matched his fervor with my own lips and tongue.

  This must be passion, I thought. And at that exact moment (because I had allowed room for thought in my muddled brain), I realized this should definitely not be happening. Before I lost my mind completely, I lifted my hands to the panes of Gabe’s chest and shoved him with all my might.

  He hardly even swayed. Annoyingly, he didn’t even lose his footing. I think he only pulled away because I had confused him with my pushing.

  “You can’t possibly tell me to marry someone else after experiencing that,” Gabe declared heatedly. We were both breathing heavily. “And you can’t tell me you don’t love me,” he added. “Because I know you do.”

  I compelled myself to square my shoulders and stand my ground. As much as I hated this, I resolved to get through it.

  “I do want you to marry Annika,” I said resolutely. “This was a mistake. I should have never come here. My memories wouldn’t have started to come back if I hadn’t, and from the way everyone describes it, I’ve put the world in peril because of my remembering. So whatever this is, it stops now.”

  He shook his head, refusing to believe what I was telling him. “Lola, I can protect you. We’ll find a way to make it through this. I swear it to you.”

  “No,” I breathed.

  I swallowed. I think I knew the words to say that would make him listen to me, but I was afraid of saying them- because it would be flat-out lying. But I was
good at lying. It wasn’t like I hadn’t done it a million times before.

  So why was it so hard to do it this time?

  “Lola,” he pleaded with me. “I was lost without you. And I know you were miserable without me, too. Why are you doing this?”

  For you, I wished I could say. So you won’t be unhappy anymore. And because Annika deserves you much more than I do.

  But instead, I lied to him. “Because I don’t want it to be like the last time, Gabe. I don’t want to commit suicide and I don’t want to put everyone else at risk. If we just stop now, maybe the things I’m not supposed to remember will never come back to me. I’ll go back to Zetta and let her curse me again. I’ll stay near her, and hope it stays powerful. That way, no one’s lives are at stake, including mine.”

  I bit my lip, waiting for his reaction. I wondered whether or not he would buy it.

  And then I saw the pain building in his eyes again. His expression was a stony mask, but I could see the truth there. I had hurt him. And more than anything else, I knew he wouldn’t risk hurting me.

  My success caused me no overwhelming joy. Because any amount of agony he was feeling right now, I was feeling it, too.

  “Okay,” he said. “I get it. I don’t want to risk your life.”

  Heavy tears grew in my eyes, fogging my vision. I cast my head downwards, trying not to let him see if they happened to spill.

  “So we’ll stay away from each other?” I asked.

  “Yeah. I’ll stay away from you.” His voice was broken, dead. My tears started to fall, but the darkness of the night sky hid the evidence.

  And besides, Gabe wouldn’t be able to see me cry. He had already started walking away from me. I guess he had meant what he said.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  “You’re not eating.”

  I scowled to let Cam know just how obnoxiously obvious he was being. It was lunchtime and my peanut butter and jelly sandwich sat in front of me, untouched. But so what if I wasn’t hungry? It’s not like it happened very often.

  “I just thought I’d point it out,” he said, shrugging. “There’s no reason to get so moody about it. Sheesh.” Though his voice remained very even and monotone, I could hear the underlying sarcasm in it.

  Annoyed at this point, I looked away from Cam, hoping he would change the subject. I don’t know why I continued to hang out with him at school. He reminded me too much of his brother, and I really would prefer not to be reminded.

  “You know, not eating is a common sign of depression.”

  “I’m not depressed,” I told him.

  “Did you know that depression is often a result of a broken heart? Apparently, it happens a lot. People write songs about it and stuff.”

  “Cam,” I stated emphatically. “Drop it.”

  He sighed, acting as if he were annoyed also. “Fine, whatever.”

  A few moments passed awkwardly before Cam asked me, “So are you going to eat that?”

  I pushed the sandwich toward him. “Take it.”

  Cam swooped up my food like a vulcher and grinned cheerfully. The bell rang not long after he finished eating.

  “Come on,” he said. “I’ll walk you to class.”

  Honestly, I didn’t even feel like going. And next period was biology, one of my favorite subjects. But I really just felt like curling up in my bed, with my grandmother’s lavender-scented sheets surrounding me, drifting off to a blissful slumber.

  I ended up letting Cam walk me to class, regrettably.

  “Hey.” He smiled as we came to a stop in front of the classroom door. I looked up at him, watching as his gray eyes sparkled. Just like Gabe’s beautiful gray eyes.

  Great. Another freaking reminder.

  “Cheer up. Christmas break is coming soon and we’ll be off for two whole weeks.”

  He made a good point. I could look forward to two weeks of peaceful, uninterrupted hibernation. It was the best news I got all day.

  “Thanks. See you later.”

  Biology dragged by. There were no labs today and the professor lectured the entire hour. Mostly, I just tuned him out and stared at the clock as it ticked on and on, until it finally reached my beloved three p.m. And then the bell rang. I thought it may have been the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard in my life.

  I grabbed my satchel and ran out the door. Sometimes I let Cam drive me home, but today I felt like walking. Knowing he’d probably talk me into letting him drive me, I hurried to flee the campus before I ran into him.

  It wasn’t a long walk to Miriam’s house from the academy, anyway. Only about twenty minutes if I power walked. I plugged my earphones in, letting the sound of the loud music tune out the world around me entirely. It wasn’t freezing, but there was a slight chill in the air, causing me to shiver. I pulled my jacket from my bag and slipped it on. The jacket was thin and had a hood, which I pulled up and over my head in case Cam drove by.

  I’d been walking for maybe ten minutes before I decided to change my Ipod to a different play list. I slowed my step so I could read the display.

  However, the steely arms that grabbed ahold of me and wrapped around my mouth were unexpected.

  I started to scream, but the noise was only a small, muffled sound because an itchy burlap bag was thrown over my head. I couldn’t see anything through the scratchy material. My world had transformed into an inky darkness.

  Fear unfolded inside of me, and it was quickly growing by the moment. I kicked and wrestled with all my might from inside of the bag, but it was no use. I felt myself being tossed up and then thrown hard against the man’s shoulder. The impact knocked the air out of me.

  There was nothing more I could do. The more I struggled, the harder it became to breathe. I was terrified I might suffocate.

  It wasn’t long before I heard the clicking of a key unlocking a car door. . .and then it sounded like a trunk was popped open. Feeling myself being tossed inside of the trunk, I gasped as I hit the floorboard. I wondered where I was being taken. It was absolutely terrifying, of that there was no doubt. But even more so, I couldn’t help being enormously curious. I wanted to know exactly why I had been trussed up and thrown into the trunk of a car.

  Apparently, whoever had abducted me hadn’t planned on taking me very far, because it was only about a fifteen minute ride to their destination. The vehicle’s engine suddenly fell silent and I could hear the driver shutting his car door. Followed by this, I heard the sound of footsteps clicking across a cement ground. The trunk popped open and the man dragged me upwards, his arms cutting into my waist painfully. He carried me again. A squeaky door soon opened. I listened to the sound of my abductor’s boots hitting against a hollow floor. We must have entered inside of wherever that door led.

  Once inside, I felt the weight shifting beneath me, as if we were headed upstairs. A few more doors opened and closed.

  Eventually, I was dropped onto a cold, hard ground. However, it was a few more moments before the bag finally came off of my head. As soon as it did, the smell of dust and grime instantly hit my nostrils. I looked around in the dark, attempting to view the man who had accosted me. No features came into play until a match was abruptly lit.

  The man was glaring at me. . .with green eyes that were filled with a vengeful fury. I watched as his psychotic eyes subdued into a smug gaze.

  I couldn’t find my voice for a long while. Every time I tried to speak, only a slight breath of air escaped my mouth. Without any explanation, my abductor pulled me against some sort of column. There, he began tying me up with a thick band of coarse rope. I couldn’t move afterwards. The bindings were too tight. It didn’t look like I would be getting out of them any time soon.

  Mustering up the little breath and courage I possessed, I whispered, “What are you planning to do with me?”

  He didn’t give me an answer. He didn’t even look me in the eyes. The moment after he made sure the rope was secure, he left the room. The door slammed behind him, creating a resonating echo thro
ughout the hollow space.

  Oh God, my mind screamed. Could he really have just left me here with no explanation of any sort? And in the middle of. . .who knows where!

  As soon as I heard the sound of a car driving away, I began to struggle against the rope. I tried to find any loose knot that could be undone, but the knot had been tied with too much strength. There was no way I was getting out of the hold. And the more I continued struggling, the tighter and more painful the rope became against my body.

  Later, I tried screaming. And I continued to scream for what seemed like hours. But all my efforts were a waste of breath. I was probably somewhere in the middle of the woods, for all I knew. If that was the case, I would never be heard.

  When was the giant man coming back for me? And what would he do to me when he got back?

  I swallowed. I couldn’t remember being this frightened, ever. The not knowing part made matters ten times worse. I couldn’t even escape the terror through the quiet escape sleep would bring. As hard as I willed myself to fall asleep, I was too anxious. Not to mention I was severely uncomfortable due to the hard post to which my back was secured. All I could do was worry and contemplate for the rest of the night, making myself sick with panic.

  I remembered Zetta’s lullaby and began to quietly sing. I was hoarse from screaming and I could barely muster the words. My voice seemed…broken. Anyway, it certainly wasn't enough to put me to sleep. But the familiarity of the lullaby did bring a small form of a hazy calmness to this horrifying nightmare I was currently living in. It was something, at least.

  TWENTY-NINE

  “My darling, Lily. It’s been much too long.”

  I was simply too tired to mince words with the strange, beautiful woman standing before me and so I was decidedly blunt. “My name is Lola. And I’ve never met you before.”

  Her name was Natasha. She’d announced it before she walked in by shouting, “Darling, it’s me, Natasha!” She’d said it like she’d arrived for afternoon tea or something. And just like that, she expected me to know who she was, like she was a long, lost pal of mine. As a gesture of our apparent estranged friendship, she ordered her ruffian lackey to untie me. I was allowed to sit in an actual chair, thank God.