by Zoe Dawson
I heard our doorbell ring and Aubree swore. I’d never heard her swear like that.
“Someone is at the door.”
“Go answer it. I’m pretty sure you’ll be happy.”
“Aren’t you coming back to New Orleans?”
There it was. The question I was dreading. My next words stuck in my throat, and when I pushed them out, it was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do, my gut clenching, a kernel of anxiety trying to develop into something more.
I wanted her semester to be over first. I wanted her to do what she had to do, but wanted more than that, too. Much more. I wanted time alone with her, uninterrupted time. We urgently needed a chance to talk, to sort things out. “I was thinking I should…stay here and give you the time you need to finish everything. I’ll work on getting some of my wedding duties out of the way and up-to-date so you don’t have to worry about them.”
“Distance isn’t going to make our issues go away.”
She might have acknowledged that we needed each other as strongly as we ever did, but I wasn’t going to kid myself that she wasn’t still harboring doubts. And the only way we were ever going to put those doubts behind us was to have time to explore our feelings, to talk about all the things we had stored away over the past eight months. I knew in my heart that before we could move forward, we had to go back. And that was totally scary.
All those fears of abandonment came back at me. But I breathed through them. My daddy hadn’t left us. I reminded myself over and over. River Pearl had uncovered the shocking truth. Our daddy had been murdered by River Pearl’s cousin, Earl. She had also proven that our ancestor, Duel Outlaw, had been an upstanding citizen, and that her lauded ancestor Colonel Beauregard Sutton was the one who caused Duel’s hanging when he robbed a Confederate gold shipment while riding my ancestor’s borrowed mare.
Our curse had been lifted, and all of us were so grateful to River for that. Now she and Verity were at the door, and they were going to be there for Aubree. We trips truly had found ourselves some stellar women.
“No, and we’ll discuss every one of those issues as soon as you can focus on our personal relationship one hundred percent. Right now…” The doorbell rang again. “…focus on your studies and your job. Three weeks isn’t that long.”
She huffed softly, and I groaned. “Ah, who the hell am I kidding? It’s going to feel like a freaking eternity. I’m going to miss you like hell. Call me when you can.”
“Booker…” The doorbell sounded again and she made this soft sound in her throat. “We’ll work this out.” She sounded so distraught, and I hated it. “Oh, Booker, could you do me a huge favor?”
“Of course, my beautiful.”
Her tone got lighter. “Dr. Rust was just named national Country Doctor of the Year. The town is even putting up a billboard for him, and there’s going to be a celebration. Can you go for me and wish him well? Tell him I’m so sorry that I couldn’t…make it. It’s next weekend and I’m just so swamped…Oh dammit,” she said when the knocking started. “Coming,” she yelled, then she was back. “Get him something nice. I’ve got to go. I love you.”
“Love you, too. Bye.”
So great. We talked. I’d finally gotten it all straight in my head. I needed to back off. Except there was one little problem with my noble, self-sacrificing plan: It fucking sucked.
Yes, I’d screwed up, but she was mine. I wasn’t giving her up without a fight, and if the damned doorbell hadn’t rung, I would have told her that totally, hewn-in-stone, irrefutable goddamned fact.
Chapter Four
Aubree
I was nearly sick with relief after Booker and I finished our conversation. Nothing had been settled, and I knew we had some major issues to work out, but he was as committed now as he was before. I could hear it in his voice.
Another wave of relief swept through me, along with major irritation.
Who the hell was banging on my door? I gasped when I saw two familiar faces staring back at me through the glass of the double panel, four-paned front French doors. With a cry of joy, I opened the door and threw myself into Momma’s arms. Booker’s momma, Evie, stood next to her, and as soon as I finished hugging my momma, I gave her a tight one too.
“Well, if the girl won’t come to Suttontowne, we’ll bring Suttontowne to her.”
My eyes popped open and I squealed with delight when I saw River Pearl and Verity coming up the walk.
I ran to them and hugged them just as hard. It was like a shot in the arm for them to show up out of the blue, just when I needed them the most.
“Come on in.”
All of them had been to our place before, but even so they exclaimed again over its wonderful location, nestled in the Veux Carré, or the French Quarter, in one of the best cities in the world. I loved New Orleans with a passion, even its rowdiness, which I thought was quaint. Booker was the one who had discovered this three-story cottage, which was tucked away and completely hidden from the street.
We lived about five miles from Tulane, and less than a mile from Bourbon Street. Historically it had served as a servant’s quarter condo, but after renovations—including a spacious, thirteen hundred square feet of wood floors, a lively street scene-patterned wallpaper in the kitchen creating a beautiful contrast with the stainless steel appliances, and a cozy living room with overstuffed brown and turquoise couch and chairs—it was a very comfortable living space. Booker liked to say we had enough throw pillows to cushion every back in New Orleans. Booker and I shared the top loft-like bedroom with a view of the French Quarter.
After all the hugging and greetings were exchanged, I said breathlessly, “What are you all doing here?”
River narrowed her eyes at me, and Verity gave me that look that said I should darn well know why they were there.
My momma said, “Well, sweetheart. Your soon-to-be momma-in-law and I had no idea your two friends were coming, or we would have coordinated better. But I suspect they’re here for the very same reason we are.”
“The wedding.”
“Yeah,” River said, rolling her eyes. “Just a minor, little ol’ thang.” Taking my arm, she led me to the sofa.
“I have lemonade in the fridge,” I said, ready to get up.
But Evie pushed down on my head gently and said, “I’ll get some for us, sugar.”
She went into the kitchen and threw comments into the discussion while she got out the pitcher and five glasses, grabbed one of my pretty trays she had found on one of her scavenging forays and settled everything on it. She came back into the living room and poured and passed around glasses.
“Your wedding is a month away, and we’ve barely finalized the details. We’re here to take over whatever you need us to do.”
“About your gown…” River said.
Those words triggered immediate turmoil. I had put off getting my wedding dress. I didn’t know why. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry Booker. It wasn’t that I had doubts about us…well, at least about us getting married. My doubts were my own feeling of inadequacy when it came to juggling everything. It probably was just sheer exhaustion because of everything I’d been dealing with in the last eight months…or was some other kind of fear lurking in my subconscious, ready to leap out and bite me?
River looked at Verity, and she nodded. “We have a marvelous solution for that problem. Verity?”
I turned to my pretty friend Verity, loving the way her dark hair was untamed and wild. She’d gotten some layers trimmed into in the long black tresses, which framed her beautiful, glowing face. Her makeup, subtle shades of gray and purple, was lovely on her, her dark brown eyes highlighted by the dark liner.
She smiled and took my hands. “I know you said you didn’t want a fuss. I know you said you didn’t want us to go to a lot of bother. And I know you said you would find something when the time was right.” I eyed the garment bag she had thrown over the back of the couch. “But…” she bit her lip and gave me a sheepish grin, “…I couldn�
�t help myself.”
“She designed you a dress!” River burst out, and then gave an unapologetic smile when Verity raised her eyebrows at her.
“And, we helped, so all you need to do is try it on to make sure it fits properly,” my momma said.
“It’s so you, and breathtakingly beautiful,” Evie said. “I can’t believe little Verity Fairchild conjured it up out of her talented imagination.”
“Thank you, Ma,” Verity said, and then turned back to me. “I’ve been working on this dress since Booker proposed to you in the bayou when we were frogging.”
“That’s my son, so romantic,” Evie said with a chuckle.
“It was romantic,” I said, laughing. Exactly the kind of thing only an Outlaw would do. They were never conventional. “And Booker is the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Evie reached over and squeezed my hand. “I think he would say the same thing about you.” She looked over at my momma. “So, Aubree. We’re also here because we noticed Booker’s back in Suttontowne without you. We…uh….came to—”
“Meddle,” River Pearl said. “So what gives?”
“I’m just so busy. Every minute. Booker was feeling…neglected, and he had a right to his feelings.”
“Well,” Evie said. “Booker can sometimes have tunnel vision when he wants something. Have you two been communicating?”
“No, not really. We’ve been…I’ve been…preoccupied.”
“He’d better get used to it, because in this case…it might be a bit tougher than, well…brain surgery,” Verity said, and they all laughed. “You’re studying to become a doctor. That’s huge and time-consuming.”
“It’s a learning curve,” my momma said. “Every couple has to work that kind of thing out.”
I nodded. Hoped they were right.
“Let’s see the dress,” I said to Verity, who took a deep breath and stood up.
“River, could you help me? Since you’re taller, you can hold it up so she can get the full impact.” She looked at me. “Okay, cover your eyes, and no peeking.”
I did as she asked, impatient with curiosity and anticipation. This was actually happening! I was getting married to Booker.
I heard the zipper and a rustle of cloth. “Okay, open your eyes.”
River was holding the dress up over her head so the hem cleared the floor. I studied it for what seemed like a long time, and then sighed softly.
Then I stood up, covered my face, then threw my arms out and whooped. “Wow! Verity…I don’t know what to say. It’s so beautiful and so perfect.” And it was. A-line to fit nicely to my small waist and wider hips. And clean lines, since flouncy, fluffy clothes didn’t suit me.
“It’s Crystal Tulle embellished with lace motifs over a fitted satin skirt. I went for dramatic and sexy,” Verity said.
The embroidery and beading were so unique, with swamp flowers expertly sewn in a wrapping, flawless spiral all the way from the bodice down to and around the train. There were trumpet and water lilies, along with ferns, curlicues, and embellishments. “Oh, Verity, the swamp flowers are the perfect touch. And so beautifully done.”
“Those were Minnie’s idea, so I can’t take credit. She helped me some with the design. She is so amazing.”
“Let me see the back,” I said and River turned the dress. “Oh, my, definitely more than a little sexy, too.”
Verity nodded. “Yep, gotta have that for Booker, and that was my idea.”
“Right,” River said. “He’ll have fun unlacing you out of that corset closure, too.”
I blushed, and there was no hiding it on my white skin. River giggled. I hugged Verity, hard. “Bless you for ignoring every word I said.”
She hugged me back just as hard.
After I released her, she reached down and pulled a USB drive out of her purse and offered it to me. “Here is a video of me making the dress, and all of us pitching in on the sewing. Boone recorded it for me, so you’ll have to put up with his lame-assed comments.”
Tears flooded my eyes as my throat tightened. I took the USB drive out of her hand, eager to watch it and add to my fond memories, to be watched and re-watched again later. After brushing away my tears, my momma hugged me too, and then we had another hug fest.
“Tomorrow we’re going shopping.” River held up her hand when I opened my mouth. “It’s Saturday, and you have no classes, so we’re going to have a day of fun, no protests,” she admonished. I had no recourse but to smile and give in.
“We’ll find the perfect veil, shoes and unmentionables,” Evie said.
“Yes,” River agreed, “…more fun for Booker.”
“Of course, this has to be a perfect wedding!” Verity said.
“You all are the best. Thank you so much for doing this,” I said, my voice shaky.
At midnight, even though I was bone tired, I couldn’t settle after all the discussion and excitement with my friends and the mommas. I gave up my room to my momma and Evie. Verity and River got my guest room, and I opted for the comfortable pull-out couch. Hours after everyone else had bedded down, I went out to the courtyard and settled on a bench, resting against the wall behind me.
My mind wandered, anxiety eating at me, the dark of night weighted by the hint of sultry heat on its way. I wondered if Booker could sleep, and ached to call him, but if he was sleeping, I didn’t want to wake him. The weeks until I saw him again did feel like an eternity. I’d believed I had control of everything, including my constant need to excel, and my terrible perfectionism. But I had been wrong. My grueling schedule had brought it all back, pieces of the past resurrected. Maybe those traits were too ingrained in me.
The door opened and River came out to join me. Her long brown hair fluttered around her slim shoulders, playing against her slender ribs all the way to her waist.
She was wearing a white tank top and a pair of barely-there yoga shorts, her feet bare. She was carrying two glasses, and—bless her!—a big bag of M&Ms.
She handed me one glass and sat down on the bench next to me, setting the open bag of delicious hard-shelled candy between us. “How are you holding up? I get the feeling you’re holding back on us, Aubree. First, that pisses me off, and secondly, it doesn’t surprise me. You do love the dress, right?”
Suddenly cold, I slowly rubbed my upper arms, my gaze riveted on the frosty glass of lemonade in my hand. “I adore the dress. Absolutely. It’s so beautiful, and I am also very grateful that you guys took that task off the list. I think I waited and waited because I was worried I would make the wrong choice.”
Setting the lemonade onto a small side table, I grabbed a handful of candy and popped a few into my mouth.
She turned toward me. River, who was always straightforward and blunt. I loved her like a sister, and the fact that she and I were going to be sisters-in-law was icing on the cake. That feeling doubled at the thought that Verity was in the same boat with us. My sweet friends were there for me through thick and thin. And we would support our Outlaws through it all.
River squeezed my arm. “You put too much pressure on yourself,” she said, then leaned back, eating more candy. “We’re not totally home free. After veil, underthings, and shoe shopping we’ll be a step closer.”
Her voice dropped, her eyes dark, as I popped in more chocolate. “Booker was pretty much tied in knots when he was suckered into coming over to the house for this stupid drinking game.”
I stopped chewing and groaned. The inflection of disgust in her voice heralded more Outlaw shenanigans. “Oh, God. I made him promise…?”
River laughed. “Oh, sugar, they’re Outlaws. They can’t help themselves.” She shook her head. “Drunk fighting. All three of them were hammered on fruit punch moonshine with a black eye apiece. And plenty of cuts and bruises.” Her eyes dancing, she said, “Booker was passed out cold. Geez, I bet Braxton punches hard.”
Regardless of all the stuff I was dealing with, I rested my head back while my body shook. Those…Outlaws…OMG…
what to do with them. I slapped my hand over my face, shaky laughter still bubbling. “He wisely didn’t say anything about that on the phone. Smart man.”
River laughed with me. “They suckered him good. Lured him with candy-flavored ‘shine.”
“He can’t resist anything that has to do with red and Gummy Bears.”
I lifted my head, my gaze connecting with the lingering humor, concern, and sympathy in River’s eyes. I held her gaze for a split second, then closed my eyes, dragging my hair back, frustration and a sense of helplessness raging through me. I exhaled heavily and rubbed my eyes, trying to dig through the rubble of my mind.
“I messed up.”
“So, won’t be the first time, probably won’t be the last,” she deadpanned.
“You know how I am.”
“Yeah, organization personified. What did you do, schedule him into your calendar?” she said off the cuff.
When I bit my lip, she rolled her eyes, giving me an incredulous look. “Ohmigod…Aubree….”
“No, not that, but I always seemed to be putting him second. And, I guess when he didn’t complain, I thought he was okay with it. O-chem is kicking my butt, and I have my sorority commitments, studying for my other classes, and my volunteer job. So many things to juggle. But I should never have juggled Booker. He’s my life, River.”
“Well, speaking from experience, I know what it’s like to love like that. Brax is…everything, too. He’s so wonderful, I would give up everything else for him.”
“According to your parents you did that when you gave up modeling.”
“Yeah, I know, but they can’t complain. Brax’s sauces are bringing in a hefty profit, and we’re all reaping the benefits of his genius. I love my gallery so much, and being able to paint again is the best.”
“I had no doubt.”
“Okay then, Aubree, why don’t you cut yourself some slack? Ease up on the self-chastisement and accept that even you…” She shook me. “Yes, even you make mistakes. Screw ‘em. Mistakes are on the human continuum. We learn from them, and it makes us oh-so-much-smarter.” She made a funny face at me and I laughed. “At least, that’s what I tell myself. Besides, when you see Booker, the makeup sex will be…great.”
