Absolutely Alfie and the First Week Friends

by Sally Warner

  “Ew-w-w,” Alfie and Arletty chorused softly.

  Mr. Havens introduced Principal James to all the kids. Then Alfie’s teacher gave a speech to the wriggling kindergartners about teamwork, art, and recycling cardboard. Alfie wasn’t sure how much of it sank in. The kids looked pretty baffled.

  But then, as the kindergartners bumbled out the door, Mr. Havens gave each one a cute eraser from a basket he held in one humongous hand.

  That perked them up, Alfie noticed, still smiling.

  “This is fwee?” Sasha asked, unable to believe her luck. “I can’t wait ’til second gwade!”

  Take your time, Sasha, Alfie wanted to tell the little girl. Enjoy the fake-y field trips and free erasers while you can.

  Because being in ‘the bigs’ could be tough.

  17

  Perfect Together

  “Hey, EllRay,” Alfie said a few hours later, poking her head into the family room. Their parents had just left for Back to School Night.

  Princess was asleep atop her new carpeted cat tower. She was tiny, but her purring filled the room.

  “Huh?” EllRay said. He pressed pause on the console of the kid-version of his current favorite video game. He looked away from the TV screen, where three drooling, gauze-wrapped zombies were now also frozen mid-lurch. “Is the pizza here already?” he asked, his eyes lighting up. “And where’s Bree?”

  Bree was their sixteen-year-old babysitter, though neither Alfie nor EllRay liked to use that word. “Is the teenager coming over tonight?” was how they liked to describe her.

  “No pizza yet,” Alfie reported. “We just phoned it in five minutes ago. Three different kinds. Pineapple and ham for Bree, all-meat for you, and just-plain-cheese for me. And Bree’s talking to her boyfriend in the living room,” she added. “I think they’re fighting,” she whispered.

  “What?” EllRay said. “Her boyfriend’s in the living room? And you were listening in?”

  “I wasn’t,” Alfie objected, fibbing a little. “She’s on her cell. But can I talk to you for a second?”

  This might be her only chance tonight, Alfie figured. Because once their pizzas arrived, any hope of privacy would be gone. Their time would be filled with gobbling down pizza, then watching a pre-approved movie.

  After that, she would have to deal with with her mom and dad, once they got home from Back to School Night.

  “Yeah, I know I did the teamwork assignment wrong.”

  “Yeah, I learned my lesson about paying attention.”

  “Yeah, I know I’m supposed to say ‘yes,’ not yeah.”

  “You wanna talk to me?” EllRay asked, setting aside his console with some reluctance after giving it a loving pat. “Talk about what, though? Your cardboard project, or those special friends of yours? Lanni and Hulu, right?”

  “Quit it,” Alfie said. “It’s Hanni and Lulu. And you were listening to me that night?” she asked, amazed.

  “Sometimes I can’t help it,” her brother teased. “It’s like this tiny mosquito buzzing in my ear. Nzz. Nzzzz. Nzzzzzz,” he whined, darting pinched fingers toward her as he imitated the annoying sound.

  “Quit it,” she said, swatting his hand away. “Yeah, it’s about Hanni and Lulu,” she said. “See, I wanted the three of us to be best friends forever—because we were perfect together. Like s’mores,” she tried to explain. “I tried everything I could to make it happen.”

  “But it blew up in your face, right?” her brother asked.

  “Yeah, only not so violent,” Alfie said, thinking about it. “It was more like, pyu-u-u-u,” she said, making the sound of a balloon losing its air.

  “And Lulu used to be your best friend last year,” EllRay reminded her.

  “I know,” Alfie said, relieved that her brother understood the unfairness of the situation. “And the two of them are hanging out with Suzette Monahan now. So they’re the three special friends,” she concluded, shaking her head. “And the whole idea was my invention! My plan.”

  “But you can’t plan people,” EllRay told her. “Because other people have plans, too. And their plans are usually different.”

  “Only now, my first week of second grade is over,” Alfie said. “And it’s ruined. I tried my hardest, but everything went wrong. And I ended up with zero friends.”

  “I thought Mom said that some girl named Phoebe invited you over to play at her house tomorrow afternoon,” EllRay said.

  “Yeah, Phoebe’s mom did,” Alfie admitted. “She called our mom after school. But Phoebe is brand-new, from somewhere in Arizona. I don’t know anything about her. And she wasn’t part of my plan.”

  “How could she have been, if she’s new?” EllRay said. “You didn’t even know her before school started. Look. Forget your plan,” he advised.

  “Also, there’s only one of Phoebe,” Alfie said, ignoring her brother’s advice as she finished her thought. “So how can we ever be the three best friends?”

  But—there was always Arletty, Alfie reminded herself suddenly, remembering the fun moments the three of them had had together this past week.

  Phoebe, Arletty, and Alfie. That could be a pretty cool group of three!

  Arletty was usually busy on weekends with church stuff, but she was at school all during the week, Alfie thought, brightening.

  “Just let things happen. That’s my advice to you,” EllRay said.

  Alfie tried to look as if she were paying attention, but her stomach growled. “Where are our pizzas, anyway?” she asked her brother.

  Ding! The Jakes’s doorbell sounded as she spoke.

  “I’ll get it,” Bree called from the living room.

  “Because she thinks the pizza guy is so cute,” Alfie told EllRay. “That’s why.”

  “I’ve got the money right here,” Bree sang out. “You guys get out some plates and stuff ready in the kitchen, okay?”

  “Like I need a plate to eat a pizza,” EllRay scoffed, speaking to Alfie. “Dad says that us guys like to eat pizza with the hot cardboard box sitting on our laps.”

  “Dad says that?” Alfie asked, laughing at the thought of their father—always so fresh, so perfectly dressed, so serious—eating pizza that way. Who knew? “Well, I’m using a plate,” she said, heading toward the kitchen—with Princess scampering close behind. “I don’t want to get in any more trouble with Mom and Dad than I’m already in—by not minding Bree, or by dumping melted cheese all over the floor.”

  “I don’t think you’ll be in too much trouble tonight, Alf,” EllRay told her, close behind. “Only a little. It’s just the first week of school, after all. And it’s not that big a deal, goofing up a team assignment. The worst person on the team usually takes care of that. And that will never be you.”

  “But Mom and Dad are gonna want to talk about it, for sure,” Alfie said over her shoulder.

  “Well, duh,” her brother agreed. “But you can take it, can’t you?” her asked, cheering her on in advance. “You’re pretty tough,” he said, meaning it.

  “Absolutely,” she agreed. “I’ll pretend I’m falling asleep, if I have to.”

  “Classic,” he said, laughing.

  And the kitchen table was set—in a casual, pizza-night kind of way—by the time Bree bounced into the room with the stacked pizza boxes balanced in her arms.

  18

  In the Dark

  “You amaze me,” Alfie’s mom said later that night, stroking her daughter’s forehead in the dark.

  “Why?” Alfie asked. “Because I took my shower and brushed my teeth before you guys got home tonight?”

  “That,” Mrs. Jakes said, laughing, “and how big you’ve gotten—so fast.”

  “I’m still a shrimp,” Alfie pointed out, pretend-arguing as she struggled to keep her eyes open. “And face it, Mom. I messed up that Cardboard Challenge thing pretty bad. Is Dad disap
pointed in me?”

  “Of course not,” her mom said. “We understood what had happened after Mr. Havens pulled us aside and explained things.”

  “He’s pretty cool after all,” Alfie admitted.

  “How would you explain what happened, sweetie?” her mom asked, curious.

  “I guess Mr. Havens was trying to plan too much stuff for one day, like he told me” Alfie said. “Kind of the way I was trying to plan my friends, I guess. See, with me, it began when I got the jitters the day before school started, remember?” she asked, thinking back to last Sunday. “Having a friend-plan made me feel better about starting second grade, for some reason. But EllRay says you can’t plan people,” she added with a sigh.

  “He’s right,” Mrs. Jakes said, laughing in the dark. “People will trip up your plans every single time.”

  “But I like people, Mom,” Alfie murmured sleepily.

  “I know you do,” her mother said. “And people like you.”

  “Not last week, they didn’t,” Alfie said, shaking her head. “Not Hanni and Lulu.”

  “That will change,” her mom told her. “I promise.”

  “Maybe it will, and maybe it won’t,” Alfie said, sounding doubtful. “But it could be like a roller coaster, right?” she added, her eyes closing. “Maybe things will get fun again with Hanni and Lulu someday.”

  “A roller coaster is exactly what primary school friendships can be like,” her mom said. “Good for you, Alfie, for figuring that out. Meanwhile,” she added, “you’ve made at least one brand-new friend this week.”

  Phoebe Miller.

  “Even though that wasn’t what I planned,” Alfie said. “She does seem pretty chill, though,” she added, using one of her big brother’s favorite expressions. “Really nice, in fact. And Arletty likes her, too.”

  “There you go, then,” her mom said, getting ready to leave the room.

  “Wait a minute, okay?” Alfie asked, reaching for her mother in the dark.

  “Did you want to talk about something else, sweetie?” her mom asked.

  “Nuh-uh,” Alfie murmured, shaking her head again. “But can you just sit with me? You don’t have to say anything.”

  Because honestly, Alfie thought, she didn’t think her brain—or her heart—could hold one more thing after this goofy first week of school.

  Not a plan, not a thought, not a feeling.

  Alfie just wanted to be alone with her mother for a while. Her mom never changed.

  “Love you, Mom,” Alfie whispered into the night.

  “I love you, Alfie,” her mother said.

  And she settled in for a nice long stay.

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