White Knight

by Mari Carr

  “Hush,” Travis said when she tried to stand. He pushed her into position and she felt the head of his cock brush against her ass. She closed her eyes, overcome with desire. She wanted him inside her.

  His cock breached her tight portal and her fingers clenched against the quilt, seeking purchase against the shocking sting. Travis moved at a snail’s pace, pausing after each inch to allow her to adjust. By the time he was buried to the hilt, she felt drunk with desire. She needed more.

  Her body began to seek its own relief, her bottom thrusting against Travis’ groin.

  His hands tightened on her hips, trying to halt her movements. “Slow down, angel.”

  She smiled, relieved to hear his voice, the lovely pet name on his lips. “I need more.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  She shook her head in frustration, pushing against his restraining hands. “I need…I need you to move. I don’t mind the pain. I like it.”

  Her face flushed at the admission, embarrassed to have revealed such a wicked secret.

  “Jesus,” Travis hissed. She feared she’d disgusted him with the truth until he added, “Perfect.”

  “What?”

  “Hold on.” Travis used his hands on her waist to drive their movements. He began to plow into her faster, harder. Lightning flashed behind her eyes. She was seconds away from coming.

  “Travis,” she said. He reached around her waist and played with her clit, rubbing the sensitive button the way she loved.

  She screamed. She splintered. She dissolved. As her head fell toward the mattress, she heard Travis’ climax, felt his hot seed filling her forbidden channel.

  The moment was charged with passion and power and…she feared for Travis, regret.

  As for her, she’d loved his possession, loved being claimed by him, but even though he’d filled her, she knew it wasn’t enough. She still needed more.

  Chapter 8

  Shea jerked awake, sitting straight up in bed. She hadn’t suffered from a nightmare since she’d been a child. She wasn’t certain what had triggered this one, the details were already disappearing, but she was left with a need for comfort. When she was younger and a bad dream had frightened her, she crawled into bed with her mother.

  Her heart raced as she shrugged off the covers. She felt her way in the darkness, trying to find the staircase. She was being foolish. She knew she was safe, but she still longed for Travis’ company.

  She found the stairs, climbing them quietly and cautiously. When she reached the top, she slowly turned the doorknob. Travis had pulled out the bed part of his sofa and was sleeping peacefully.

  She closed her eyes and sighed, feeling foolish. Then she acted on instinct, closing down the part of her brain that reasoned she was making a mistake. Need overcame wisdom. She walked to the bed and crawled in next to Travis. She needed to feel some of his warmth. The dream had affected her too deeply. She was sad and cold and so damn scared.

  Slowly, she scooted closer to him. They’d never made love. Travis had made her feel wanted and special, all while holding her at arm’s length. It was a confusing, frustrating feeling.

  His body radiated heat and she sighed contentedly. Reaching out, she carefully wrapped her arm around his waist, moving her body completely against his.

  She didn’t have time to close her eyes when all hell broke loose.

  Travis whipped around, coming at her like a coiled spring. He wrapped his hands around her throat and squeezed hard.

  She grabbed his wrists to dislodge his grasp. She couldn’t breathe. She tried to speak his name, to call out, but she had no air. She attempted to beat away his powerful arms but was no match for his strength.

  His hands tightened, closing her windpipe even more, and Shea began to kick out with her feet, fighting for freedom. For her life.

  As he strangled her, Travis spewed a stream of vicious threats that terrified her.

  “You fucking bastard.” His voice was deep, menacing, filled with more hatred than she had ever heard in her life.

  “This time you’ll stay dead. This time I’ll get my fucking revenge!”

  He shook her as he continued to throttle, her head hitting the thin mattress, gray spots floating before her eyes.

  “Thought you could come back for more, you filthy, disgusting pig. This time I get to kill you. The same way you killed me.”

  Lightheadedness came to claim her, her head exploding with pain, her body starving for air. He was still asleep. He thought she was someone else.

  Rather than fight him, Shea knew she had one last chance. She stopped clawing at his hands and instead reached up to cup his face in her hand. She had to let him know she wasn’t who he thought she was. Please God, let him recognize it was her.

  The gentle touch triggered a different reaction. Travis reared back. His hands left her throat, landing on the mattress next to her. He gasped for breath, groaning as if in pain. He was waking up. She reached out for his arm, wanting to comfort him. She’d never heard such soul-wrenching cries. Wherever Travis had gone, hell would have been a more welcome option.

  “Travis,” she whispered, the word causing her physical pain.

  He backed away as if burned by fire at the sound of her voice. He left the bed and pressed his body against the large window that looked out on the stage. Even in the dim light, she could see he was trembling.

  “Fuck. Shea?” He wrapped his arms around his waist, doubling over. For a moment, she feared he would be sick. “Goddamn it. Shea.”

  She sat up quickly, gasping for air. She’d been only moments from passing out or worse. She coughed, wincing at the pain it produced. She fought to regain her wits as Travis continued to curse.

  “Jesus. Fucking. Christ.” He sounded as out of breath as she felt. His voice broke on each word, telling her exactly how shattered he was. Guilt permeated every syllable, consuming her with regret.

  This was her fault. Not his.

  “I’m okay,” she finally managed to say, her voice coming out like a croak. “I’m okay, Travis.”

  He didn’t move, didn’t give her any indication he’d heard her. “Motherfucker. Shit. Oh God, shit.”

  She looked at him, spoke louder. “Travis. I’m fine. Honest.”

  But her voice broke on the last word. She wasn’t fine.

  She understood now. All of it. His secret. His difficulty with being close to someone.

  His words replayed over and over, tormenting her. She’d seen abuse in her life, too much of it. The truth of Travis’ past crashed down on her and a sob escaped before she could pull it back.

  Travis walked closer at the sound of her crying. Cautiously, he dropped to his knees beside the bed and raised his hand as if to touch her. He froze midair, leery, unwilling to frighten her. His pained gaze told her he expected her fear, her revulsion.

  “Please don’t cry, angel. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

  She shook her head, though the tears wouldn’t be stemmed. She reached for his hands and pulled them to her chest. “I’m not c-crying for m-me. I’m sorry, Travis. I didn’t know. I didn’t know.”

  He stared at her, confused, looking like a lost little boy wandering around in a dark, frightening forest. “Shea, I nearly killed you.”

  “God, no. You weren’t killing me. It was him.”

  Travis paled, his body tensing as if she’d struck him.

  She choked back another sob at his desolate face. “Who was he? Who did this to you? How old were you?”

  Travis’ strength gave out. He sat on the floor and pulled his knees closer to his chest. For a moment she thought he was going to do his disappearing act once more. Retreat inside himself until no one could see the pain he carried around with him.

  Her tears continued to fall. She was helpless to stop them.

  “I was twelve.”

  Travis’ voice pierced the darkness, agony written in every line on his face.

  “It was the summer before I started eight
h grade. I hadn’t hit my growth spurt yet. I was a scrawny little thing.”

  Suddenly Travis’ physique, his need for a strong physical build made sense.

  “My great-uncle moved back to the States after a decade abroad. He decided to come visit my mom, his favorite niece.”

  Shea didn’t reply, didn’t say anything. Travis was speaking slowly, searching for every word. She knew he’d never told this story before. She clutched her hands together in her lap, afraid to speak.

  “I woke up one night to find him in my bed. I tried to move but he was on top of me, pinning me down with his body. I was shocked when I realized he’d pulled off my pajama bottoms. I started to call out, to protest, but he shoved my underwear in my mouth to keep me quiet.”

  Shea swallowed against the bile lodged in her throat. She felt physically ill as she pictured Travis, a sweet, innocent boy, having his childhood ripped away.

  He fell silent and she wondered if he would continue. Wondered if he could. He looked at her and for the first time since she’d entered the room, she felt like he was truly seeing her.

  “He came into my room every night for a week. He said all the things those assholes say to make kids be quiet, to keep their dirty secret. Told me it would make my mom cry, no one would believe me, it was my fault for being a bad boy.”

  “They were lies,” she whispered.

  He nodded. “I know. They weren’t what kept me quiet. Shame did that.”

  A small cry escaped. Shea felt each of his words like a blow.

  “I never saw him after that. He got another position overseas. The next time he came back to the States, I’d graduated from high school and moved to California. He died shortly after that.”

  “Good.” The bastard didn’t deserve to live. Her only regret was he’d never paid for his crime.

  Travis gave her a sad smile, the expression not reaching his eyes. “He left me all his money. I used it to open this club. Dirty money, dirty club. I honestly thought this place would fail within a year and I would have managed to lose everything he’d worked a lifetime for. Guess the joke was on me.”

  “He left his money to you?”

  Travis smirked. “Fucker wrote a letter. Apologized. Jesus. It wasn’t enough. And now I’m trapped in this hell of my own making, all bought and paid for with his blood money.”

  Shea was stunned, uncertain how to respond. “So leave.”

  Travis chuckled, the sound devoid of humor. “And go where?”

  “Anywhere.”

  “I left North Dakota to escape him and he followed me here. It doesn’t matter where I go, Shea. Dead or alive, he’s always going to be there.”

  “You need a fresh start, Travis. Whether that’s here or somewhere else, you need to make a clean break.”

  “From what?”

  Shea was speechless. While geography solved her problems and offered her a new outlook on life, she knew the same wouldn’t be true for Travis. He needed a clean break from his past. How did someone do that? She closed her eyes, tears continuing to fall as she shook her head and shrugged.

  “Dammit,” Travis said softly. “Don’t cry for me, angel. It’s killing me.”

  She sniffled. “I wish I knew what to say. What to do.”

  He gave her a sad smile. “This isn’t your problem to fix. It’s mine.”

  “I shouldn’t have crawled into bed, surprised you like that. I knew you didn’t like to be touched—”

  “No. I’m glad you came, glad you’re here. God, Shea, you’ve touched me more in the past few weeks than anyone ever has. I knew that first night you were different when you curled up in my arms and I didn’t freeze, didn’t want to escape. I’m still trying to figure out what makes you so special. I think in some ways I look at you and see someone who’s experienced pain and loss. You kept going, Shea. You’ve had a shitty life and you never once let it stop you, let it knock you down.”

  “You’ve kept going too.”

  He shook his head. “No. I haven’t. I’ve let my problems define me, consume me. I look at you and see everything I want to be. Everything I’m not.”

  She sniffled again, his beautiful, haunting words sending fresh tears to her eyes.

  He reached toward the side table and grabbed a tissue. “Here, blow.”

  She laughed at his command, wiping her nose and eyes. “I must look a mess.”

  “You look gorgeous.”

  Her heart lurched at his compliment.

  His gaze traveled to her neck and he scowled. He pushed himself to his knees and lifted her chin with a gentle hand, leaning closer. “Fuck.”

  He’d been pale since he’d figured out exactly who was in his bed, but looking at her neck seemed to drive even more blood from his face. His hand trembled slightly. She grasped his wrist.

  “I’m okay. We’re not going to talk about my neck anymore. And I don’t want you to apologize again.”

  “I could’ve killed you.”

  His words pierced her heart, the desolation of his tone stinging her painfully. She shook her head. “No.”

  He lowered his head in his hands, the weight of that realization too much for him. “Jesus. Yes.”

  “Stop it.” When he didn’t acknowledge her, she gripped his shoulder and shook him. “Stop it!” Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his, desperate to prevent the agony radiating from him.

  At first he remained motionless. She kissed him harder, dragging her tongue along his lower lip. Slowly, Travis began to respond, his lips softening beneath hers. Finally he opened his mouth, his tongue reaching out to touch hers.

  She kept her hands on his shoulders as they kissed. There would be no more backtracking tonight. She knew what she wanted, what Travis needed. The heat in the room increased, as did the kisses. Travis’ hands held her waist like a vise as his lips devoured hers hungrily. Her fingers tightened on his shoulders as she twisted her head, trying to get closer, to get more of him.

  Pulling back a fraction of an inch, she whispered, “I need you.”

  Travis didn’t respond, simply put his lips back on hers and kissed her again.

  When they moved apart, she looked at him for a few moments. Speech wasn’t necessary. They both wanted the same thing. In unison, they stood. Reaching for the waistband of her sleep shorts, she shrugged them off.

  Travis moved back, his gaze taking in her disrobing. He removed the only clothing he was wearing—his boxers. Together they pulled Shea’s t-shirt over her head, discarding it on the floor. Neither of them spoke, acknowledged the moment or its importance. Travis simply took her hand as she returned to the bed. He crawled onto the mattress next to her and their kissing resumed.

  She placed her hands back on Travis’ shoulders, hesitant to ruin the moment, to send him back to that dark place. She wanted him here. With her. Forever.

  “Touch me,” he whispered.

  “I am.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t want you to hold back, Shea. I want everything you have to offer. And then I’m going to be the world’s greediest asshole and take more.”

  She smiled, though tears wetted her eyes. “I’d give more gladly.”

  He kissed her, rising slightly as she opened her legs, allowing him to lie between them. His cock rested against her pussy as Travis continued to worship her with his lips.

  Shea slowly moved her hands from his shoulders to his soft, thick brown hair. Travis gently kissed the marks around her neck, each brushing glance an apology, a vow to never hurt her again.

  When his lips descended to her breasts, Shea’s ability for conscious thought evaporated and instead, she became a creature solely interested in her physical needs. She lifted her hips slightly, trying to create some much-needed friction. She was hot, wet, hungry.

  Travis read her needs, his own body answering the call. He lifted his head and glanced toward the desk. “I need to get a condom.”

  She shook her head. “I’m on birth control.”

  “Shea.” />
  “Please.”

  Travis closed his eyes and she feared he’d reject her. She’d never allowed a man inside her without a condom, but with Travis, it seemed right.

  When he looked at her again, her heart skipped a beat. She’d never seen such love directed her way.

  “I swear to God, I’m starting to feel like one of those fruit-loopy heroes in a romance novel.”

  She laughed. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “I feel the very strong urge to spout romantic drivel.”

  “Oh,” she said. “I wouldn’t complain.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you wouldn’t. Very well then. You asked for it.”

  Rather than continue to speak, Travis lifted his hips, placing the head of his cock at her opening. He shuddered slightly. “Fuck. I’ve never done this without a condom.”

  “Me either.”

  “You feel like heaven.”

  She placed her hand on his cheek. “Come inside me.”

  He pressed deeper, his motion steady, slow. He didn’t stop until he was buried completely inside her warmth. He filled her perfectly.

  When he lifted his head, she saw sheer, unadulterated happiness reflected on his face. “You’re mine.”

  She took his romantic drivel and raised him one. “Always.”

  They rocked together, moving in time, anticipating each other’s needs. Through it all, they kissed and touched, laughed and loved. It was the most beautiful night of Shea’s life.

  Travis brought her to climax twice, neither of them in a hurry to see the magic of the evening end. “God,” he groaned. “I can’t hold back anymore. Can you come one more time? With me?”

  She was already so close. After each of her previous climaxes, Travis had stopped thrusting, just kissing and touching her until the frenzy returned.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  He reached down to press on her clit, knowing exactly how to touch her, how hard to rub, how fast. He knew her body better than she did. She shattered, moaning as her orgasm racked her body. Travis jerked against her, his face reflecting a much more beautiful pain than the one she’d witnessed earlier.

  “So fucking good,” he muttered as he erupted inside her, filling her not only with his come, but with warmth and acceptance. For the first time in her life, she belonged somewhere. She belonged with him.