Benath the Surface (Reluctance #1)

by M.A. Stacie

  Dale longed to tell him everything would be okay, that Taylor would get sober. She didn’t. Something told her Kyran needed a physical connection, not a verbal one.

  Not another word was spoken. Their fingers, tongues, lips, and bodies said everything they needed to. Dale and Kyran continued to kiss as they undressed one another. Dale hummed with desire and nibbled on Kyran’s neck, withholding the words that would declare her love for him. The sensations flowing between them would be enough for now.

  “Take your shorts off,” Kyran whispered.

  Without question, Dale shifted off his lap and stood before him. She shimmied her cotton shorts down her legs, taking her panties with them. His sharp intake of breath broke the silence as he gazed at her naked form.

  Leaning forward, he kissed her stomach. Dale lifted her leg and attempted to straddle him again. He caught her ankle in his hand and placed her foot on his thigh. It left her open to him, her aroused sex clear for him to see. Following his gaze, Dale knew what his next move would be.

  Dale whimpered when he lowered his head to her pussy. Her knees buckled and her head spun the more attention he gave her. Dale’s stomach began to spasm, but just when she thought she was about to come, Kyran slowed his tongue before pressing it hard against her clit.

  “Holy hell.” She gripped his head and held him in place.

  Kyran’s tongue continued its assault, licking and swirling across her sensitive nub. Dale lost all conscious thought, forgetting about the world beyond her couch. Dale could feel beads of sweat start to break out across her forehead from the intensity of her orgasm and the strokes of his tongue. Her sounds of passion increased, turning into a growl of complaint when Kyran reared his head back.

  “I have to be inside you, Dale. I need you surrounding my cock and making me forget.”

  Easing her foot to the floor, he kissed her navel and nipped at her abdomen. With a mind of their own, her hips thrust forward, wanting him to do more delicious things with his dirty little tongue, but Kyran was set on another position. One just as satisfying.

  He undid the buttons of his fly and pulled his cock from his underwear. Dale watched him, fascinated as he took it in his grasp and pumped it three times. His seed seeped from the tip. It was one of the most erotic things Dale had ever seen—one she wanted to watch until he reached orgasm. But even though his knuckles paled from his tight hold and his face contorted with emotion, she realized he wasn’t going to allow her that sight just yet. She knew he wanted to bury himself inside her and use her body to escape from his troubles.

  Kyran looked into Dale’s eyes and slowed his hand on his cock. With his other hand he reached into the back pocket of his jeans and retrieved his wallet. Kyran pulled a condom from inside it and sheathed himself, all the while never breaking eye contact. Dale smiled at him. Her heart swelled with unspoken affection as she climbed back onto his lap.

  The slow roll of Dale’s hips brought the tip of his cock against her wet sex. Tingles of pleasure danced across her skin and increased to shivers when he speared his shaft into her in one swift movement.

  Their moans mingled for a heartbeat before their lips met in a wild, hungry kiss.

  Dale battled her feelings, which were amplified by the sympathy she felt for him. Her stomach swirled with an amalgamation of lust and love. The connection between them was strong and perfect. She loved him. No matter how hard she fought it, or told herself it was just sex, she finally acknowledged it—admitting it was no longer something she could fight.

  Swallowing back the words of affection, Dale focused on Kyran as he cupped her breast over her tank. He caressed the swell as she pushed her breast further into his palm. She sighed and thrust her hips with a gentleness she didn’t know they could achieve when they were together.

  Dale savored each thrust, enjoyed every touch of his hands, and threw herself headlong into each kiss. It quickly became less about comforting him and more about the growing ache within her.

  Kyran grunted and withdrew from her body but filled her exquisitely when he pumped himself back into her pussy. He never broke eye contact, and Dale hoped he was struggling with his feelings, too. The whole interaction between them felt so different and yet so very natural. It was hard to keep believing that their relationship was based on something so animalistic at that point. There had to be more.

  Kissing him, Dale circled her hips. Kyran hissed, gripped her waist, and pulled her further onto his cock. She closed her eyes, throwing her head back at the sensation of her body holding his so tightly. Each thrust made her clit swell, her orgasm approaching.

  “Oh . . .” The room around her began to blur. Kyran pumped a little faster into her body. His cheeks were flushed and his chest heaved with exertion. Dale could feel his pounding heartbeat underneath her palm. It beat as furiously as her own.

  The furrows on his brow had disappeared, and the fatigue on his face no longer seemed as severe. If this was what he had needed, then it was working. The problem was that if sex calmed his emotions, it just increased hers. And as he cupped her and pulled her into a heated kiss, Dale wanted nothing more than to declare her feelings.

  The searing orgasmic wave hit her hard. She gasped, cried out, and slowed her speed, wanting to prolong the bliss that consumed her. Kyran followed her seconds later, roaring against the skin of her neck as he bucked his hips. He tightened his hold on her ass but relaxed as his orgasm subsided. Tremors sprang randomly across their bodies, the contractions eliciting sighs from them both.

  When Kyran began kissing a path along her shoulder, her whole body quivered. From the moment she had opened the door to him tonight, everything had been about making him smile and soothing him. However, something between them had reached a new level of intensity, and to Dale, it was not something they could step back from. The moment was so perfect that she uttered the words she no longer wanted to hide.

  “Kyran, I love you.”

  Chapter 18

  Dale froze. Was she a goddamned moron?

  The horrified expression on Kyran’s face answered that question. He hadn’t shoved her away, but then he hadn’t confessed his love for her either. She’d been so carried away with the tenderness she felt with him that she’d lost her verbal filter, ruining everything they had with three very simple words. She didn’t see a way back from this.

  It was over.

  “Shit, I . . .” She pushed at his chest, trying to climb off his lap. Her skin burned, embarrassment heating her to the core. “I . . . I’ll just hide in the bathroom and let you leave. I won’t beg you to stay.”

  Kyran let her go. The silence was deafening while Dale tugged her shorts back on. Her movements were sharp, rigid—she felt foolish. She had admitted to herself that her feelings were growing for him but knew that sort of confession would mark the end of the two of them. Kyran wouldn’t be able to handle it.

  Keeping her back to him, Dale mumbled a good-bye and made a move toward the bathroom. She swallowed and blinked rapidly to stop the tears from coming. She was stronger than this. She’d known what the relationship was about. Kyran had made it clear many times, so she couldn’t even hate him for not reciprocating those feelings. The problem was hers to work through.

  “Dale.”

  She couldn’t turn to face him. Seeing the look of disgust on his face would only cause her more heartache. Instead, she stopped her retreat and stared at the bathroom door in front of her.

  “Why are you the one running away? Shouldn’t it be me?”

  “I’m going so that you can gather your things and leave without a scene.”

  She heard him shuffle, followed by the slap of Kyran’s bare feet across her hardwood floor. The heat of his body warmed her back as she braced herself for his anger.

  “I don’t want to leave, but I don’t want to hear you say those words again.”

  Nausea roiled in her stomach. “Why? Why can’t I tell you how I feel?”

  “Because relationships and I don’t work w
ell together. I like what we have now. I don’t see why that needs to change.”

  “Then we’re stuck,” Dale said, her tone firm.

  “I’m not sure we are. We have fun together. We work well, Dale. Why spoil it?”

  He touched her shoulder, and in an act of defiance, she shrugged his hand off and took a step away from him. “I don’t see how my feelings spoil anything. I would’ve thought they’d enhance it.”

  “You wouldn’t. You’re not on the receiving end.”

  She huffed and turned to face him. Dale poked her finger in his chest. “I’m not sorry I feel the way I do, so don’t you dare make me feel that way! I’m only sorry I spoke the words out loud.”

  “Why did you?”

  Dale felt him move closer. Her spine tingled from his proximity. She longed for his touch, her body bereft without it. After her declaration, Dale supposed she would have to get used to life without him . . . and start looking for another job.

  “I told you because it’s how I feel. I just intended to keep it to myself. I was stupid. It slipped out,” she said.

  “How long would you have hidden it for?”

  “As long as I needed to.” Dale wrapped her arms around her middle, needing the comfort. “How long do you plan on torturing me? Please, you’re free to go. This is your out.”

  Placing his hand on her shoulder, he replied, “I’m not torturing you, Dale. I’m trying to understand.”

  She turned to face him. “Understand what? What don’t you get about the fact that I love you? I’ve tried to fight it, tried to bury it, but I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my whole life. It hurts here.” She thumped her chest, just over her heart. “Hurts so bad when you tell me it’s just sex because for me it isn’t. And I don’t think it has been for some time.”

  “I have no clue how to deal with this,” Kyran said.

  “You leave, like I expected you to five minutes ago.”

  When he raised his palm to cup her face, she permitted the touch, selfishly wanting to feel it one last time before he left her. She pressed her cheek against his palm, closing her eyes and committing the sensation to memory.

  “But that’s the problem right there, baby. I can’t make myself go. I can’t bring myself to walk out that door and call it quits.”

  Hope bloomed within her wounded chest. But Dale was reminded that rejection was still possible. “But you don’t love me.”

  She opened her eyes as he shook his head. “I won’t lie to you. From the start I’ve been nothing but honest, and I won’t stop now. I want you, but it’s more than that. You drive me to distraction. When you’re not around, you’re in here.” He tapped his temple. “No one gets in here. You’re like that shit that Taylor snorts up his nose. I can’t get enough. Shit, Dale I can’t stop this.”

  “Then don’t.” She took a moment, wondering if she should say what she was thinking, before eventually giving in. “Maybe I’m in your head because you feel more for me than you’re admitting to.”

  “Dale. Don’t push this. I’m being honest. I’m giving you what I can.”

  Confused, Dale walked around him, slumped into the chair, and hugged her legs to her chest. She rested her chin on her knees and watched him while he pulled on his jeans. Kyran left them unfastened and took a seat on her couch, facing her. She stared at his arm, following the code of numbers and letters as it wove its inked path down to his wrist.

  “What does your tattoo mean?”

  “It’s complex,” he replied evasively.

  “A lot like you, then.” Kyran nodded in agreement, and she chose not to question him further. She knew he wouldn’t tell her at that moment, anyway.

  “How’s Taylor?”

  “Alive. Breathing. Fucking lucky.”

  “How long will he be in the hospital?”

  Kyran’s top lip curled. “No clue. They asked me to leave before I could get much out of him. He tossed a bit of shit my way then turned it on our father. Basically, it’s everyone else’s fault but his.”

  Preferring this conversation to what they had been discussing, Dale hugged her legs tighter. “What will happen with the Reese Corporation while he’s sick?”

  “He’s not sick. The guy is an addict. As for the office? Well, there will be no change. He did very little when he was there, anyway. Probably because he was never sober.”

  “Does he want help?”

  Kyran scrubbed his palm against the top of his head and groaned. “Fuck knows, but he’s getting it. Look, I don’t want to talk about my mess of a brother. Or my tattoos. I think we should get back to the conversation about us.”

  “Kyran, I can’t.”

  Shoving off the couch, Kyran knelt on the floor. He closed the space between them by walking on his knees, and when he got to her, he grabbed her ankles.

  “Kyran,” she said in warning.

  He ignored her and tugged on her legs until they slipped off the seat. Dale bit back a giggle when he draped each leg over his shoulder, his head resting between her thighs. “Why can’t you talk to me about tonight?”

  “Because we have—I already have—and look where opening my big mouth got me.”

  “It got me on my knees, apparently.” He smiled at her and placed a kiss on the crook of her knee. “Not many women have had me like this.”

  “I bet most would pay to see it.” She stroked her hand across his head, noticing the way he tilted toward her touch.

  “You may be right.”

  Staying silent, they stared at one another. Dale’s expectation of what would occur after she opened her mouth was so far removed from what was going on between them now. Kyran never ceased to perplex her. He never acted as she envisioned. She often wondered if that was the allure. She couldn’t second-guess his actions, so everything felt exciting and spontaneous.

  She snorted, gaining an inquisitive look from Kyran.

  “What’s so amusing?”

  “I just realized how addicted we all are.”

  “Who?” He smoothed his cheek along her thigh as if he couldn’t be without her touch.

  “Taylor. You. Me.”

  “I’m following your thoughts on Taylor, just not you and me.”

  Dale lifted her legs, intending to move them from his shoulder and cross them in front of her. Kyran shook his head and held her knees on either side of his head. She raised her eyes to the ceiling, reluctant to confess what was bubbling in her head.

  “Tell me.”

  She pouted. “Okay, I mean Taylor with drugs, you with the boxing . . .”

  “And you?”

  Her words were little more than a whisper. “Me with you.” Mentally chastising herself for opening up to him when he would not do the same, Dale freed her legs from his grasp. “It was just a thought.”

  “Yeah.” He reached out for her, but then pulled his hand back. “We’re all in deep, then.”

  “Seems so.”

  She curled up in the corner of the couch and brought her legs closer to her body when Kyran took the seat next to her. He snatched at her ankle and tugged on her legs until he could place them across his lap. “How do you know you’re not confusing your feelings with lust? We can be incredibly intense.”

  “I know my own feelings, Kyran. Don’t belittle them,” she snapped.

  “Hey, I’m not. I’m asking how you know.”

  “I just do. Wait a minute, are you asking because you’ve never been in love?”

  He thought for a moment. “I don’t think I have, no.”

  “How is that possible?” She shuffled her bottom on the couch cushion to face him better. “I know there have been plenty of women.”

  He smirked. “There have been a few, and clearly you’ve been checking up on me, Ms. Porter. However, none of them have gotten too close and none of them knew about Metro.”

  She tapped her finger on her chest. “And yet I do . . .”

  “That you do.”

  “I guess choosing you was inevitable
for me. When it comes to men my decisions suck.”

  “How’s that?” He stroked his hand up her leg.

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “I asked, didn’t I?”

  Dale scanned her small apartment, wondering what he must think of her shabby furniture and piles of old books. She had watched him for signs of disgust, but he had barely looked around the place. Whenever she glanced up Kyran was looking at her, not her belongings.

  Reluctant to confess her history with boyfriends, Dale decided to stick with the most recent. “Three weeks before I started to work for you, I caught my boyfriend in bed with my best friend.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Along with another woman.” Kyran’s mouth gaped open. “Yeah, so my choices suck.”

  Kyran grabbed her hips and lifted her until she sat on his lap. She wriggled, feeling him harden underneath the cheeks of her ass. When he hooked a finger into the thin strap of her tank and pulled it down, she didn’t stop him. He kissed her collarbone, peppering her skin with light pecks.

  “Ky, this won’t solve anything.”

  He hummed against her shoulder.

  “I have feelings for you, and yet you feel nothing.”

  Elevating his hips, he moaned. “I feel plenty.”

  Shoving at his chest, she bit back a smile. He hadn’t mocked her feelings, but the fact that he didn’t—and maybe never would—reciprocate them couldn’t be ignored. She had walked into their arrangement with her eyes half open. Attraction had consumed her from the instant she saw him, so entering into a just sex relationship had been easy. Nevertheless, now it appeared her eyes were wide open, and pink puffy hearts were floating from them.

  “Stop it, please. We have to talk about this.”

  Pausing his kisses, he looked at her and spoke low but honestly. “I’ve never been in love, Dale. I can’t say it to you just because you’ve said it to me. I doubt you’d want me to, anyway. I enjoy our time together. I like having you to talk to, and I adore that you’re with me every night that I fight. Knowing you’re waiting revs me up. Right now, that’s all I have. If you can live with that, then fine, but if you can’t, I suppose I’ll understand and trust you’ll remain tight-lipped about Metro.”