Damaged Hope

by L. K. Hill

  He turned to leave again, but stopped, keeping his eyes on the doorknob this time. “If you disappear again, I’ll bring a thousand cops into the Mire and bulldoze every alley until I find you.”

  She wanted to cry. She smiled instead. “You should do that anyway. Build an upscale shopping mall. It would elevate the entire neighborhood. Or better yet, a rehab facility.”

  The corners of Gabe’s mouth turned up slightly. She doubted the expression touched his eyes. She couldn’t tell for certain, though, because he didn’t turn his eyes to her again before striding from the room.

  Chapter 5

  Gabe arrived at the precinct an hour after leaving the hospital. His chest felt empty, but too many things swirled around in his head to allow him to focus on the feeling. Kyra would be stubborn no matter what he did. He wished he didn’t care so much. She wasn’t wrong about having survived thus far. She knew how. Knowing how to survive in the Mire did not give a guarantee of survival in the next crisis, though. He wished she understood that. Maybe she did. That would be worse.

  The thought turned his intestines cold, so he pushed it away.

  He rarely entered the precinct during day. His normal shift didn't begin for two hours. Things always stayed calmer during the day. Abstreuse came alive at night. Now, the air felt hot and stagnant. The smell of printers and the dust of old files tickled Gabe's nose. The few detectives working at their desks battled unconsciousness, heads dipping forward and back, much like Kyra’s in the interrogation room last night. Gabe shivered.

  He arrived at his desk, not sure why he'd come. Plenty of work loomed for him to do, but he didn't have a particular task in mind. He refused to go home again before his shift began.

  He picked up a file on his desk, glancing around the station again before opening it. His eye fell on Shaun’s office. Through the window, he could see Shaun seated at his desk, his face looking grim. Granted, Shaun nearly always looked that way. Yet, something about it made Gabe pause. The next instant, he realized the two people standing in front of Shaun’s desk were Cora and Tyke. Suspicion stirred in Gabe's chest. He knew why he sat here in the middle of the day. Why were they?

  Tyke told Gabe he was going home hours ago. Cora had been out on a case when Morris brought Kyra in at midnight. He’d assumed she’d worked her normal shift and then gone home this morning.

  Dropping the manila file onto his desk, Gabe headed toward Shaun’s office. Six feet from the door, Shaun caught sight of him through the window. When he opened the door, he found only silence. Tyke and Cora turned to stare at him. Shaun still sat at his desk, looking toward Gabe from between them. Their faces said it all.

  “What’s happened?” Gabe asked.

  Shaun cleared his throat. “Come in, Gabe. How’s your CI?”

  “Stubborn,” Gabe said.

  Concern appeared on Cora’s face. “She’s going back into the Mire?”

  “Yes.” Gabe shut the door and leaned against it.

  “When?”

  “Tonight.”

  The three of them groaned in unison.

  Gabe didn’t want to talk about Kyra. Talking about her made him more afraid for her. “Why are you two here? Didn’t you go home last night?”

  Tyke and Cora exchanged glances, then flicked their eyes toward Shaun.

  “Quit doing that,” Gabe snapped. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “Sit, Gabe,” Shaun said. “I didn’t want you to be privy to this yet. Since you caught us in our little meeting, I won’t insult you by sending you away.”

  Gabe didn’t want to sit, but for the sake of getting Shaun to talk faster, he took one of the three chairs lined up under the office window. Cora sat in one directly across from Shaun. Tyke opted to perch on the edge of Shaun’s filing cabinet behind the door.

  “The truth is,” Shaun began once everyone settled, “Neither Cora nor Tyke has been home in three days.”

  Gabe’s head snapped up. “What? Why?”

  A minuscule hesitation from Shaun. Odd. Shaun never hesitated. “They’ve been working Dillon’s case.”

  Anger flared in Gabe’s chest. “You said it dried up, pending getting Hammond to talk.”

  “I know what I said, Gabe,” Shaun said calmly. “You’re too close to this.”

  Gabe jumped to his feet. “This is Dillon’s case.”

  “I know.” Shaun smoothed his thick, handlebar mustache. “Gabe, I understand. I do. I’d be feeling and acting exactly as you are in your shoes. It doesn’t change facts. Besides, this decision was as much personal as professional. We’re worried about you. We want to help you through this as much as possible.”

  “What decision," Gabe asked through clenched teeth.

  “To have Tyke and Cora work on aspects of Dillon’s case without you.” Gabe opened his mouth. Shaun put up a hand to silence him. “We wanted to see what we’d find before bringing you in.”

  Fury pounded through Gabe’s veins. He reigned it in. “What did you find?” he asked quietly.

  “Cora,” Shaun said. “Why don’t you start?”

  Cora turned slightly in her chair so she faced Gabe head on. “I’ve been talking to Brad Hammond’s family.”

  “You found them?” Gabe asked. He knew once they identified Hammond—a boy who’d gone missing at age thirteen and been presumed dead for years—they’d tried to contact his relatives. His parents were deceased. He did have some living siblings, all in their middle years now, like Hammond. The problem was finding current contact information for them.

  “Yes,” Cora answered. “We thought, because Dillon’s kidnapper sent you a cross every year on the anniversary of his disappearance, maybe he did the same thing with other families. Whether he did or not tells us a lot about him. About his psychology.”

  She paused, looking perplexed.

  “And?” Gabe said.

  Cora shook her head. “Hammond’s family never received anything from the kidnapper. Brad disappeared. They never had any trace of him again. Nothing from him, or from the kidnapper. Nothing.”

  Gabe stared down at his clasped hands. “What does that mean?”

  Cora sighed. “I mean, the same man might have taken other kids. For now, we only know of Hammond and Dillon. It’s possible he kidnapped other children and sent things to their families. We simply don’t know. With the information we’ve got right now, it does seem like he’s zeroed in on you for some reason, Gabe.”

  Gabe sat back, considering. “Why would he do that?”

  “Exactly,” Tyke said. “Seems counter-intuitive to me.”

  Gabe swung his head toward his friend. “Why? What do you mean?”

  Tyke shrugged. “The psychologists say Hammond was probably the first—”

  “The psychologists?” Gabe interrupted.

  Tyke gazed pointedly at Shaun.

  “A number of psychologists are working with Hammond, Gabe," Shaun said. "Talking to him. Trying to decipher his riddles. They’ve had some success.”

  Gabe put his gaze on the carpet and clenched his teeth to keep from yelling at his boss.

  “I know you’re angry,” Shaun said. “Hear Tyke out.”

  Tyke nodded when Shaun looked at him. “The psychologists are pretty sure Hammond is the first boy this pedophile took. They say he may have raised Hammond as his son, which is why Hammond believes that. It’s brain-washing. It’s also possible the kidnapper treated Hammond as a partner, rather than a prisoner. If it's true, they doubt he did so with any of the other boys. Especially given how much older Hammond was than Dillon when the kidnapper took him, he may have specifically been taken to help him with the younger ones.”

  Gabe frowned, confused. “Okay.”

  “It seems to me,” Tyke went on, "if any of the victims got special treatment, Hammond would have. So why has the kidnapper homed in on Dillon’s family?”

  Gabe forgot to be angry and sat back in his chair, considering Tyke’s question.

  “It…doesn’t make sense to me
,” Tyke added quietly.

  “Nor will it for some time, I think,” Shaun answered. “There are still too many undefined variables. We don’t know what the crosses mean. We don’t know, since Hammond is here, if perhaps the original kidnapper is too.”

  “I hope he is,” Gabe muttered, and lost himself for a few seconds in a fantasy of finding Dillon’s kidnapper and beating his head in. He raised his head when he realized the room had gone quiet. Shaun and his two best friends stared at him, looking worried. Gabe cleared his throat. “Tell me more about what these psychologists have found.”

  Shaun studied the files on his desk, as if searching for notes, but none of the files lay open. “They’ve been working with him for days, Gabe. He’s still talking in riddles, as he did when I interrogated him. Playing with us. Mostly, they’re trying to decipher his symbols. Figure out what each thing means to him. It’s like trying to solve a thousand-piece puzzle without seeing the picture it makes.” Shaun paused. “He’s mentioned Dillon’s name more than once, Gabe. Always in the past tense.”

  Gabe’s heart gained weight in his chest. He’d known Dillon was dead for a long time. He’d accepted it years ago. To hear it now with such finality…. Kyra’s heart might have been the one that stopped last night, but Gabe's chest throbbed as though his had.

  Shaun waited, probably giving Gabe time to process before continuing. “Most of it is…disturbing.”

  “I still want to hear it,” Gabe said without hesitation. “Can I go observe as they speak to him?”

  Shaun affected a sad smile. “I thought you might want to, which is why I kept it from you at first. You needed sleep and some relaxation before diving back into this. If you want to observe, I’ll approve it.”

  Gabe nodded. “What else?”

  Shaun hesitated yet again. “He’s starting to talk about a place. A place where he grew up. A place he…and possibly others…may have been taken.”

  Gabe’s heart stopped entirely for five seconds, then pounded like sledgehammer to make up for it. “What place?”

  “We don’t have a location yet. Somewhere out in the west Nevada desert.”

  Gabe a ran a hand through his hair, then pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt a headache coming on. Perhaps he would find the location of his brother’s body. Gabe couldn’t breathe. He drew in air, but his lungs felt walled off and none made it in.

  “I don’t want you to get your hopes up, Gabe,” Shaun said softly.

  Gabe raised an eyebrow, registering surprise. “How can I not? To finally have something to bury? To be able to call my parents and—” his voice cracked, so he didn’t bother finishing.

  Cora left her chair to come sit by Gabe and take his hand. “None of this is going to be easy, Gabe. No matter what you find. We’re here for you. You know that, right?”

  Gabe nodded, keeping his eyes on the carpet. “Yes. Thank you,” he said stiffly.

  “Oh.” Shaun sounded as though he’d remembered something. He stood, walked around his desk to stand in front of Gabe and Cora, then leaned over them to knock on his office window. Gabe twisted to see whose attention Shaun was trying to get.

  A man he’d never seen before turned when he heard Shaun’s knock. Shaun motioned for the man to come to him, and the man started toward the office. Shaun returned to his desk. “This is the other thing you need to know about, Gabe. It won't make things easier, but it’s not my call. We all have to deal with it.”

  Gabe frowned. That sounded ominous.

  The office door opened and the man Shaun motioned to came in, shutting the door behind him.

  “Gabe,” Shaun said, “I’d like you to meet Vane Blagdan. Blagdan, this is Gabe Nichols.”

  Gabe stood to shake the man’s hand. He was tall. Certainly taller than Gabe, but it looked like he might have a couple of inches on Tyke, which said something. Short, black hair clung to an egg-shaped head, and the man had a nose like a hatchet. Brown eyes sneered above a sharply defined jaw, which he angled upward.

  “Gabe,” Shaun said. “Mr. Blagdan is with Internal Affairs.”

  Gabe raised an eyebrow while the man peered down his nose at him. Great. “What’s IA doing here?”

  Blagdan sniffed, as though affronted. "Trying to figure out why this precinct isn't doing its job," he sneered.

  Gabe clenched his teeth to keep his retort in, which might have cost him his job.

  “Why don’t you sit, Gabe,” Shaun said. “I’ll explain.”

  “I can do it, Captain,” Blagdan said.

  Shaun leaned back in his chair, clasping his hands together over his taut stomach. “Be my guest.”

  Blagden turned to Gabe. "I understand you were deeply entrenched in this sick, warehouse business in the Carmichael district."

  Gabe's hackles rose. Blagden's tone dripped with accusation.

  "I was there, yes. I had a CI inside. She's the only reason we know what happened there."

  "That, Detective, is exactly my point. My superiors want to know how such a vast, depraved operation operated for so long under the noses of Abstreuse's finest. The warehouse lies within this precinct's jurisdiction. My boss wants to know who dropped the ball."

  Gabe kept a tight control of his fury. Yelling at an IA official was a great way to commit career suicide. "All due respect," he said carefully, "this isn't a matter of dropping the ball. The Carmichael District is a part of the city too dangerous for our officers to patrol. They hid their operation well. We can't know what happens in a part of the city we aren't allowed to patrol."

  Blagden sniffed. "I've been getting the same excuse from all your co-workers, Detective. It's simply not good enough. In all my years at IA, I've never seen such sloppy work."

  "But—"

  "My superior wants answers, not excuses."

  Gabe glared at Blagden, wishing he could punch the self-righteous look off the man's face.

  "IA is conducting a thorough investigation, Gabe," Shaun said quietly. The look on his face said he'd been through all this with Blagden already. None of it surprised him. "We've been ordered to cooperate fully."

  Gabe took a deep breath to calm himself, studying the front of Shaun's desk, just for a place to put his eyes. He didn't want to look at Blagden's sneering face anymore. Another complication. Another thing to worry about on top of everything else. But also part of the job. Gabe forced himself to nod. "Okay."

  "I'll need to interview your CI," Blagden said.

  A cold hand wrapped around Gabe's heart. He raised his gaze slowly to Blagden. "What?"

  "You heard me, Detective. We need to know what she saw, what she knows."

  "Then read her statement."

  Blagden shook his head. "Not good enough. I'll need to interview her. You'll furnish me with information on how to find her."

  Gabe got slowly to his feet, and the tension in the room rose tangibly. Shaun didn't stand, but he suddenly seemed ready to lunge from his chair.

  "You know we won't," Gabe said. "CIs are strictly confidential."

  "It's an interview, Detective," Blagden's tone sounded both bored and annoyed. "And you just agreed to full cooperation."

  Gabe shook his head. "Blowing this woman's cover will get her killed."

  "We know how to be discrete, Detective. We'll make sure she's protected."

  "You don't understand," Gabe growled. "She's not a normal CI. If we try to bring her in, she'll run. We'll…" he struggled for something that would be compelling to IA. "…lose the information she's feeding us."

  Blagden stared at Gabe for ten full seconds before answering. "So be it. You'll furnish her information to me by day's end."

  Gabe clenched his teeth and said nothing. Blagden must have read the rebellion in his face. He took a step toward Gabe.

  "You will cooperate, Detective, or there will be repercussions." He spread a haughty gaze around the room. Then swept past Gabe and out the door.

  Gabe immediately rounded on Shaun. “We're not giving him Kyra's information, Shaun
. It would compromise her. She'll get spooked and disappear.”

  “I know, Gabe.”

  “She'll never trust us again—"

  “I know.” Shaun sighed. “I’m sorry about him, Gabe. We have to put up with this shit for now.”

  Gabe took a calming breath and nodded. It wasn’t Shaun’s fault.

  “Can I say it?” Cora said, ears practically steaming. “I gotta say it, Shaun. You gotta let me say it.”

  Shaun sighed. “You can.” He raised an index finger. “Only in the confines of this office.”

  “What an asshole.”

  “Are you shitting me with this guy, Shaun?” Tyke burst out. “I'm with Gabe. We shouldn't give him Kyra's information.”

  "We're not giving him Kyra's information," Gabe growled.

  Shaun held his hands up placatingly.

  "I don't think we'll have to. Cora's right. He's an ass and he's lording his power over everyone. We aren't required to give up our CIs. He wants to interview her. That we can do."

  "She—"

  "Gabe." Shaun's firm tone silenced him. "We can bring Kyra in without her disguise on. She talks to him, he's happy, her alias stays intact. End of story. I don't like it either, but it really is just an interview."

  "She won't like it," Gabe said. "What if she refuses?"

  Shaun raised an eyebrow. "Why would she?"

  Gabe sighed. Even as he'd said it, he knew she wouldn't. The instant Blagden asked after Kyra, a streak of fierce protectiveness exploded in Gabe's chest. Yet, if an interview helped solve things where the Carmichael District was concerned, and didn't put her identity or her search for her brother at risk, Kyra would agree.

  "You're right. She wouldn't. She's agreed to meet me when she comes out of the Mire so we can go over the case. Hopefully tomorrow."

  Shaun nodded approvingly. "Good. Let me know when this meeting will happen. I'd like to be in on it anyway. Hear what Kyra has learned. If Blagden is here in the precinct when she is, maybe he can talk to her then. I doubt it'll take long. If not, we'll schedule it when she's here."

  Gabe nodded, but it didn't feel right. Something about this entire situation made him anxious. He had no idea why.

  Shaun nodded toward Tyke and Cora. “You two get back to work. I know you’ve got plenty to keep you busy. Gabe, stay another minute.”