Damaged Hope

by L. K. Hill

  With a groan, she fell back on the bed, arranging the pillows around her head to keep her propped up. Hopefully it would keep her from falling asleep.

  She clicked the button to hear the first message.

  “Kyra, it’s Phil. I ran into Jane in the drugstore the other day.”

  Shit. This couldn't be good.

  “She told me you were in Abstreuse doing research of some kind? It took me by surprise and I let something slip that probably made her suspicious. If you want to be incognito, you ought to keep me in the loop. I don’t see your family often, but I do know them. What are you doing there, Kyra? I think I already know. Please call me. And don’t do anything completely dumb-assed to get yourself killed.”

  Kyra might have smiled if she wasn’t so terrified of what Phil had said to Jane. The message came in three days ago. Could all seventeen be from him? If he’d figured out what she was doing in Abstreuse, he'd be worried. Yet Phil wasn’t the kind of guy to call fifteen times. Too practical. Too much on his plate.

  Kyra scanned the remaining messages for his number and found he’d only left two others. One the day after the first and one yesterday. Once a day. Yeah, that sounded more like Phil. She clicked the second one.

  “Kyra, Phil again. Please call me. If this is about Manny—how could it not be? —I can help. Maybe. You don’t have to put yourself in any kind of danger. Call me. Now.” Click.

  How could he possibly help? He’d been the one who originally found Manny here by accidentally coming face to face with him. He’d delivered Manny's message about it being too late to save him. It wouldn't have been hard to figure out her real reason for being in Abstreuse. Or that the work Jane "knew" about constituted a completely bogus writing project. Phil was a retired cop, after all.

  She clicked the third message. “Kyra, if I don’t hear from you in two days I’m coming down there. I have a conference tomorrow. Then I’ll be harassing your voice mail every hour on the hour until I hear from you or I arrive in Abstruese myself. You’ve been warned." Click.

  Kyra sighed. His conference had been today, which explained why he’d left no messages in the last eighteen hours. The clock showed nearly three a.m. Phil probably still slept but would awake in the next hour or two and the voice mail barrage would begin. Might as well leave him a message to wake up to, assuring him she wasn’t dead.

  She dialed the callback number and waited for his voice mail to kick in.

  A groggy voice followed a series of fumbling thumps. “H-hello?”

  Kyra cringed. Why did he have to answer his phone? She realized he normally wouldn’t, but he'd been hoping to hear from her. “Uh…Phil?”

  The rustled of sheets came through the phone, and the voice became more alert. “Kyra?”

  “I’m sorry to wake you.”

  “Where the hell have you been?”

  “On assignment. Sorry for the delay. I got your messages five minutes ago.”

  “Are you looking for Manny?”

  Kyra hesitated, wondering if she should be truthful. The question was too direct for Phil to be uncertain, though. “Yes.”

  Phil’s voice took on a too-patient sound. “And how exactly are you doing that?”

  Kyra pressed her lips together. “I'm not hanging up missing persons flyers, Phil. This is Abstreuse City.”

  Another silence. “How’s it going?” He sounded mildly impressed.

  “I…haven’t found him yet.”

  “So, terrible.”

  “I saw him Phil. Several nights back. From a distance. I couldn’t get to him and he disappeared, but I saw him. I came close.”

  “Why didn’t you catch up to him?”

  “There…was a lot going on at the time.”

  “Is that code for running for your life?”

  “Not…exactly.”

  He gave feral growl, followed by several loud curse words. A softer murmur came from his side of the phone, followed by a rustle of sheets. “Sorry Honey,” Phil murmured. “I’ll go in the other room.”

  Kyra rolled her eyes. “Say hi to Barbara for me.”

  Then came the unmistakable sound of a door closing.

  “Kyra, why didn’t you tell me about this? I may have contacts inside the Abstreuse mob.”

  Kyra froze, all thoughts of sleep of the pain in her abdomen gone. “What?”

  “You heard me. Possibly the Sons of Ares as well, though I couldn’t swear to that.”

  Kyra's voice hardened. “How can you not know if you have a contact or not? And why would you anyway? You’ve never worked organized crime. Or the gang unit. Or in Abstreuse at all.”

  “I’ve worked with other cops before, haven’t I smartass? Ross Connily was my partner for eight years on the force before transferring to Abstruese. He’s not a beat cop anymore, but he’s not retired either. He works a desk in the Commissioner's office. I know he has contacts inside the mob. Like I said, I couldn’t swear to having one directly in the lower echelons of the gang, but it’s certainly not outside the realm of possibility. If I’d have known you were going to do this, I'd have reached out to him first.”

  “Why didn’t you suggest this possibility when you first told me you’d seen Manny?”

  “I didn’t know you were going to do this!” Phil snapped. If his voice kept rising at this rate, being in a separate room of the house wouldn’t keep him from waking his wife. “I thought Manny’s message would give you some closure. Some respite from the guilt. I didn’t think you'd take it as an invitation to get yourself killed. What the hell are you thinking, Kyra?”

  Kyra sighed. “I can bring Manny home, Phil. I know it.”

  “What if he doesn’t want to come? None of the interventions worked before.”

  “I know that,” Kyra said calmly. “Phil…” She trailed off, wondering how to explain this to anyone.

  “What?” Phil prodded. Then, as if reading her thoughts, “Try me.”

  “What he told you? When you told me, I could hear his voice saying it, could imagine what his eyes looked like. He’s ready to accept help. He wants out of this life, but it’s beyond his ability to do it on his own.”

  “Kyra, you don’t—”

  “I don’t care if you believe me, Phil. I can’t explain how I know. Except he’s my brother and I simply do. I promised him before he left that he’d never burn his bridges with me. That I’d help him when he felt ready. I can’t go home and live my life knowing I didn’t keep my word. He’s my brother.”

  Seconds passed and she wondered if the call dropped. Phil heaved a deep breath. “Okay. We should still check out this contact.”

  “You more than have my attention, Phil. What can this contact do?”

  Phil sighed. “He’s Ross’s, not mine, so I’m not sure. I called Ross as soon as I left you the first voice mail. Problem is, he’s vacationing with his family in the Bahamas. He left me a message yesterday saying he had terrible reception, and would be back late Sunday night. He’s going to call me first thing on Monday.”

  Three days. She couldn't work for Josie that long anyway. And she needed to recuperate from the beating she'd taken.

  “And understand," Phil continued. "I make no promises. If looking into Manny in any way compromises Ross, or his contact, I can’t ask them to do that.”

  Kyra nodded to herself. “I understand.”

  “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid for three days, Kyra. Let me look into this. Maybe we can find Manny and get you both out of there in that time.”

  Kyra sat back against the pillows. After all these months, all this heartache—and abdominal ache—could it really be so easy? Surely not.

  “Kyra?” he said warningly.

  “Life has to go on here as usual, Phil. I can’t just stop, especially if this doesn’t pan out. I'll lay low as much as possible. You have my word. You’ll call me after speaking to Ross?”

  “As soon as I know anything. I promise.”

  Kyra heaved another deep breath, feeling
…relieved. Relief was a luxury she couldn’t afford, but she couldn’t chase the hopeful feeling away. “Thanks, Phil. I appreciate it.”

  He snorted. “I’d appreciate you not making me tell your parents you’ve been in Abstreuse doing all kinds of dangerous shit, and I knew about it and didn’t tell them, and now you’re dead.”

  Kyra rolled her eyes. “That won’t happen. I’ve been here three months Phil. I know how to survive.

  Another brief silence. “Fine. For the record, when you start using words like ‘survive,’ rather than 'stay safe,’ I come close to shitting myself.”

  The corners of Kyra’s mouth turned up. “I gotta sleep, now, Phil. I’ve been awake nearly twenty-four hours. Oh, what’d you say to Jane?”

  Phil grunted. “It wasn’t what I said so much as my reaction.” He sounded more like his laid-back self for the first time since the conversation began. “I asked what you were up to. She said you went to Abstreuse. I’m sure my eyes about popped out of my head. I said, ‘What do you mean she’s in Abstreuse?’ Kind of shouted it at her. She said something about a research project.” He paused.

  Kyra’s insides twisted tighter with each sentence. “Then what did you say?”

  “Nothing. I backed away from her, power-walked to my car and called you to find out what the hell. Left my groceries in the cart and everything.”

  Kyra groaned.

  “Sorry,” he said. “Yet another reason you should have kept me in the loop on this. Has she contacted you?”

  “She left me fourteen messages. What am I supposed to tell her?”

  “How about the truth?”

  “I can’t do that.”

  “Kyra, your family should know what you’re doing. Manny is part of them too.”

  Kyra felt instant rebellion. “They all gave up on him, Phil."

  "They didn't give up. It gets to be too much for people, sometimes."

  "I get that. I'm not judging. Bottom line, they don't want to help him. If I thought any of them would support me in this, I'd have told them. Believe me. They’ll give me a guilt trip, get upset, try to talk me out of it, try to drag me back. I’d be hiding out from them. That’ll make me upset and more stressed out than I already am!” By the end she was shouting. She clamped her mouth shut.

  “This is taking its toll on you,” Phil said quietly.

  “No," she said, too quickly. Then sighed. "Okay, yes. It would on anyone. Like I said, I need to sleep. Sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. Watch your back. I’ll be in touch soon. And Kyra? If I ever go more than three days without hearing from you, I’ll come down there myself, drag your ass back and dump you at your parents’ feet. Understand?”

  Kyra clenched her teeth together to keep the bitter retort from surfacing. “Fair enough,” she managed.

  “Yeah. It is. Call Jane. Get some sleep. Talk to you soon.”

  “Bye, Phil.”

  Kyra sighed and rested her head against the pillows for several minutes. Her thoughts swirled. Could this truly be over? No, it might not be. This was a possibility. An avenue to explore. Nothing more than that. She needed to stay realistic about the whole thing.

  Her thoughts strayed to Gabe. To the kiss he'd just given her. Always. If this were over in three days, then maybe…. No. She couldn't get her hopes up about that. Now she had Jane to deal with.

  Sitting up, she clicked the playback button for the first message from Jane.

  “Kyra, what’s going on? I saw Phil today. He looked shocked out of his mind to learn where you are. Why? Nothing surprises him. You said you were doing research. What the hell are you actually doing? Call me. Now!”

  So, Phil hadn’t mentioned Manny, and Jane didn’t suspect. Why would she? Kyra was the only one—other than Phil—who knew Manny had been sighted in Abstreuse. She'd have to tell Jane something. A partial truth. Jane wouldn’t like it. Not at all. But Kyra didn’t have to reveal the actual truth about Manny. Not until she heard from Phil again anyway. Five a.m., but Jane had the baby and would be up feeding.

  Kyra dialed.

  “Kyra!” she answered on the first ring. “What’s going on?”

  Kyra took a deep breath and kept her voice calm. “I talked to Phil. He didn’t mean to freak you out.”

  “What’s going on, Kyra. Don’t bullshit me. Only the truth. I want it now.”

  Kyra hesitated, picking apart truth in her mind. “The research I'm doing. It’s not exactly bookish.”

  “Are you undercover or something?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Doing something dangerous?”

  “I’m researching inner city gangs, Jane.”

  “Aw hell, Kyra. Why are you doing something like that?”

  “Because I’m getting paid a lot of money for it,” Kyra said, her cheeks flaming with the lie.

  “How could you do this to me, Kyra? How could you lie? I felt weird about you going to that city from the start. It seemed…off. But after what happened with Chris, I thought you were trying to find yourself, so I let it lie. Now I learn you’ve been in danger this whole time?”

  Kyra winced. She didn't want to remember her ex-boyfriend right now. “What’s Chris got to do with anything?”

  A pause. “Um…nothing. I’m just worried about you.”

  Kyra sighed. “Jane, I—”

  “Can it, Kyra! Phil wouldn’t have a full-scale meltdown in the cereal aisle if you'd only taken a stroll through a questionable neighborhood. What if something happened to you and I didn’t know it? What if you disappeared and I never heard from you again?”

  “That won’t happen, Jane,” Kyra said gently. “I've done fine so far, haven't I. I wish everyone could have some faith in me.”

  “It's not about faith. It's about being worried sick. I want to see you.”

  “I can’t leave, Jane. I’m in the middle of things here.”

  “Then I’ll come to you.”

  “Jane—”

  “You owe me this, Kyra. I want to see you. So either you’re traveling or I am.”

  Kyra sighed. She recognized the stubbornness in Jane’s voice. It appeared only occasionally, and when it surfaced, Jane couldn't be talked out of anything. Kyra sat back and thought.

  Three days. She couldn’t work for Josie for three days. She’d promised Phil to lie low until he spoke with his friend. Gabe would be tickled to learn she wouldn’t be venturing into the Mire for so long. Three days wasn’t long enough to drive all the way home and back. Not least because Jane wouldn't keep this a secret. Once Kyra arrived, the entire extended family would descend like a rat pack. She’d be lucky to return to Abstreuse inside a year.

  “I’ll tell you what, Jane. I don’t have time to come all the way home. Maybe we can meet in the middle. I have a full day of work today.” Work. Sleep. Whatever. “I can get on the road at nine or ten tonight. Why don’t we meet in Mesquite? I’ll book a hotel room so we have privacy to talk. Which we will. You can go home in the morning, and I’ll come back to work.”

  A brief silence. “Okay. But you’d better show, Kyra. If you don’t, I'm coming to Abstreuse and filing a missing person’s report. I’ll lie and say it’s been three days.”

  Kyra laughed despite herself. “I wouldn’t send you on a wild goose chase, Jane. Even if I wanted to, that threat will keep me honest.”

  Kyra felt Jane's resentment through the phone. “Fine,” she muttered, obviously not amused.

  “When I have the hotel, I’ll text you the details. See you tonight.”

  “Bye.”

  Kyra pushed the END button and sighed. This wasn’t gonna be pretty. She could get on the road much earlier than nine, but she wanted to go see Sadie first. Let her know that she wouldn't be around for a few days so Sadie wouldn't worry. It would work out better that way anyway. She’d put on her pale Supra makeup to venture out. Then she could stop at a drug store and get some powder closer to her real skin tone to go over top of it. She’d need layers of makeup to cover the bruise
s and keep Jane from freaking out.

  Gabe. He'd be out at his crime scene by now. Probably wouldn't pick up. She dialed his number. The second his voice sounded on the line, telling her to leave a message and he’d get back to her, a pang of regret lanced through her chest. Strange. Leaving a message would be much, much, much easier. Even so, she wished she could have spoken to him.

  Beep.

  “Gabe, it’s Kyra. Something's come up. Nothing to do with the Mire. Kind of a family thing. I’m meeting my sister in Mesquite later tonight. I hope to be back some time tomorrow, but I'm not sure exactly how long I'll be gone. You won’t be able to get ahold of me until then. If I don’t answer or call back, that’s why. I’ll call you as soon as I’m back in town.” She hesitated. “I may have something of a lead on Manny. Not sure it will pan out, yet, but I’m hopeful. I’ll fill you in when we talk next. Talk to you soon."

  She hung up, tossed the phone on to the bedside table, flopped down on her pillows, and promptly fell asleep. She didn’t even bother turning out the lights.

  Chapter 13

  The tinny sound of a rock song once again pulled Gabe from his deep slumber. He groaned and rolled over onto his back. Daylight shown in through the windows. He couldn't have slept for more than a few hours.

  Yanking his phone off its charger cord, he sat up. He blinked at the screen several times before registering Shaun’s name in digital letters.

  “Hello.”

  “Sorry to wake you, Gabe.”

  “Is it Hammond?”

  “No. There’s been another murder. Another prostitute found dead.”

  Gabe groaned more loudly than before. “It's only been two days.”

  “Technically just over that,” Shaun said practically, then heaved a sigh. “Still. He’s speeding up.”

  “Yeah, no shit,” Gabe muttered, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

  He'd worked the last scene after putting Kyra in a new hotel room early Saturday morning. His work load kept him too busy to see her before she drove to Mesquite ten hours later, but they'd spoken on the phone. She said she'd return by Sunday night. Last night. He hadn't heard from her, yet. He'd gone to her hotel before coming home to sleep and pounded on the door, but got no answer. She must still be in Mesquite with her family. He hoped she was relaxing.