Revelations

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  As Fitzwilliam introduced her to Miss Elizabeth Bennet, Georgiana as always found it difficult to speak, but somehow Miss Elizabeth seemed to understand, she did the talking for her, and it was hardly noticeable that Georgiana hadn't really spoken at all. Her brother was pleased, he didn't even notice, he seemed a bit bemused actually. Then she shook hands with Miss Elizabeth's older companions, Mr and Mrs Gardiner, very nice, understanding people as well. They clearly didn't mind Georgiana not talking much, they were nice to her and let her recover from the shock of meeting three strangers at once.

  Introductions over, she could quietly observe what was happening around her, and she looked with interest at the interaction between Fitzwilliam and Miss Elizabeth. She did think that Miss Elizabeth wanted Fitzwilliam to like her. She was a bit more restrained than him, as if she didn't quite trust him, whatever had happened between those two? How could anyone not trust her brother? He had a heart of gold.

  There really was no way to determine whether her brother had any chance

  of conquering Miss Elizabeth's heart. Maybe Miss Elizabeth didn't know him that well, that wasn't at all unlikely, Georgiana supposed they'd only met in company, and Fitzwilliam was not a talker, he was more like herself, an observer. She should try to talk a little herself, he was always eager for her to try, and of course he would want her to get acquainted with Miss Elizabeth.

  Darcy meanwhile was glad to see Miss Elizabeth take to his sister immediately. She was smaller than Georgiana and her figure was much lighter, he could lift her easily. Small of figure, but such strength of mind, Darcy just could not help admiring her. Though she was only a few years Georgiana's senior, Miss Elizabeth clearly was much more self-assured, and very ready to take the younger girl under her wings. As soon as Georgiana was ready to make an effort to talk to Miss Elizabeth, the latter helped her by supplying subjects to discuss, and by livening their conversation with witty observations that Georgiana couldn't help smiling at.

  Miss Elizabeth would be such a very good influence on his sister, of course they had totally different characters, but to have a friend near her own age would be such an asset. They would be just perfect as sisters. He was so taken by their interaction that he nearly forgot to tell Miss Elizabeth that Bingley was coming as well, and he was just in time, for footsteps could already be heard on the stairs.

  As Bingley came in, Miss Elizabeth was clearly happy to see him, she knew he hadn't left Miss Bennet of his own free will, something she probably still held against Darcy himself. But he would make up for it, however this renewed acquaintance turned out. Even if his improved behaviour couldn't convince Miss Elizabeth to look at him with more friendly eyes, Darcy would give her sister the chance to conquer Bingley, if they were both still interested.

  As Miss Elizabeth talked to Bingley, and Georgiana followed their conversation without saying much, Darcy asked Mr Gardiner, 'Will you consider coming over to do some fishing with myself and my friends tomorrow, Mr Gardiner? Oliver, my huntsmaster, has predicted a fine day like today, and he is rarely wrong. We'd love to have you.'

  'Why Mr Darcy!' Mr Gardiner seemed positively staggered at his request, he must not have taken Darcy's general invitation seriously yesterday, 'I'd love to go fishing in that lovely stream, and in your company. Thank you very

  much for the invitation, I'm very much obliged. I so rarely get the opportunity to go fishing, and in a privately owned stream, that is quite something.'

  'I'm glad you approve, Mr Gardiner, I keep forgetting you're a city man and not a regular visitor to a country estate.'

  What Darcy actually meant was, that he constantly forgot Mr Gardiner's being 'just' a tradesman, and not in the possession of his own grounds for hunting and fishing. He was so sophisticated in his view of the world, and had such a superior mind, it was difficult to imagine he lived in Cheapside, all year round. Darcy was again struck by how much he liked this man, it would be great fun to spend a morning fishing with him. And of course it would not hurt him in Miss Elizabeth's eyes either, but that was not the reason he was inviting Mr Gardiner, he was really looking forward to talking with him more, getting to know him.

  Mrs Gardiner seemed surprisingly interested in Bingley, but of course she was Miss Bennet's aunt as well as Miss Elizabeth's, and her eldest niece probably confided in her during her stay in London. Darcy also noticed Mrs Gardiner having a decided interest in himself, especially during those rare moments in which he managed to exchange a few words with her niece. Had Miss Elizabeth also confided in her? It would have been a natural thing for a young woman to do, it would hardly be possible, or useful, to open her heart to her featherheaded mother, and she had been travelling with her nice, stable aunt for weeks.

  Well, even if that was the case, Mrs Gardiner didn't seem prejudiced towards him, she treated him with friendliness and even some warmth, he felt very welcome here. Though Miss Elizabeth was not at all like herself towards him, she was not averse, but she did not seem to have her usual self-assured frankness, she struck him as being rather subdued. It was not as if she didn't talk to him easily enough, Darcy asked her how she liked his house and grounds and she told him they were in much better taste than all the other big houses she had seen the last two weeks. And of course she loved the park, and admired its natural aspect. But she seemed more quiet than usual, lost in thought, almost. The only moment Darcy saw a glimpse of her true personality in her conversation with him was when she told him she liked his housekeeper very much. For a moment her wit showed itself, and her eyes sparkled as they used to. But only for a moment, and then she was back to downcast eyes and a subdued voice.

  What was going on? Was she shy, embarrassed? Dared he hope she was starting to contemplate life at Pemberley with him? Or was she still wishing him elsewhere? How would he bear this suspense?

  And to make things worse he could see Georgiana observing his interaction with Miss Elizabeth. She had not just grown in size, her mind was developing rapidly, it was almost as if she was onto him. It was time he thought of something else than Miss Elizabeth's puzzling behaviour, or everyone would know his feelings for her, and he himself would be none the wiser.

  Even better, he would give his sister something to do besides observing everyone unobtrusively, and he beckoned her to come to him for a moment.

  Of course she did, and he asked her politely to help him invite Miss Elizabeth and the Gardiners for dinner before taking leave. For it was already time to go, he would gladly have stayed with Miss Elizabeth all day, even if her behaviour had him in knots, but that would not be seemly.

  He couldn't help noticing that she was her usual self to Bingley, and to her uncle and aunt. Time to go, before his frustration started to show. Georgiana did her best issuing the invitation, and it was accepted and set for the day after tomorrow.

  Glad to be certain to see Miss Elizabeth at least one more time, Darcy took his leave of her, and her uncle and aunt, with mixed feelings. His sister and Miss Elizabeth seemed to understand one another perfectly, but he felt more confused than ever. Well, there was just the drive home, and then he'd take his horse and go out for an hour or so to be alone with his feelings once more.

  As they walked down the stairs and left the inn, then entered the curricle, Georgiana could clearly see the confusion in her brother. She felt so sorry for him, having met Miss Elizabeth Georgiana understood what attracted him to her, she was not like other ladies at all. She was not as beautiful as her brother described her, he had to really be very much in love with her to see her like that, but she was certainly very pretty and intelligent and very sweet. The way she helped Georgiana through a rather difficult first meeting was very considerate of her, and if Miss Elizabeth were to become her sister, Georgiana would be exceedingly happy. But before she tried to decide whether that had any chance of happening, there was something she needed to do. She put an arm around her brother, kissed him on his cheek,

  and said, 'Now tell me, Fitzwilliam, what happened between the two of
you.

  I'm not a child anymore, I've seen you suffer for months, you've been in love with her for some time, let me in on your secret, I want to support you and comfort you.'

  And then she had him in her arms, totally quiet, he didn't weep, he didn't even swallow hard, he just held onto her tightly for what seemed to be a long time. She stroked his hair and his face, no longer feeling like his daughter, but now truly his sister. When they turned off the road and into the shaded lane of the estate, Georgiana could feel her brother relax in her arms, after which he sat up and kissed her on both cheeks.

  'Thank you, love. I needed that. You've truly grown, I saw you observe me, and Miss Elizabeth, but I'm sure nobody else noticed, you're very subtle.

  Will you take a walk in the park with me as soon as we arrive? I'll tell you everything that happened to make me find the very depths of despair the last three months. And then I want you to tell me whether you think I have any chance at all of finding happiness. And don't spare me, I'm older than you, you have no right to patronize me.'

  He had changed, Fitzwilliam never had any humour to speak of, and now he was making jokes in the least likely of situations.

  And so it happened that they left the carriage to the stable boy, Georgiana noticing how Peter greeted his master with a relish, Fitzwilliam had apparently been talking to him as well. The entrance to the park was close-by, still, for a short moment Georgiana feared being intercepted by Miss Bingley, which would have totally ruined her chance at gaining her brother's confidence. But they did reach the park without mishap, and since the only one of their friends ever to step out of doors by himself was Bingley, who always took his horse, they did not need to fear to be disturbed. Fitzwilliam offered her his arm, and she took it, walking side by side through the lovely summer woods.

  Then he started to speak, almost eager to share his experiences with her.

  'It all started almost a year ago, when Bingley fell in love with Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth's eldest sister. I'm ashamed I never told you any of that, I thought you were still just a child, I was a different person then, I'll take you more seriously from now on, I promise. Through Miss Bennet I came into closer contact with Miss Elizabeth. Georgie, I hated it there, the neighbourhood of Netherfield, the people were all strangers, and they were

  loud and unsophisticated. By the time I realised Miss Elizabeth was different, was in fact different from anyone else I knew, I had offended nearly everyone there by totally ignoring them, including her, and while I was rapidly falling for her she must already have hated me. But I didn't see that at all, I only heard her sharp wit and her surprising observations. Her mind fascinated me, she had no education at all and still she knew so much, thought so differently from any other woman I knew, or any man for that matter.

  We suspected the sister to be mercenary, so we took Bingley away from there. But I couldn't stop thinking about Miss Elizabeth, she was the most interesting woman I had ever met, and she was only about twenty! She had so much time to develop even more, it would be such a privilege to be part of that. I didn't see her for months, but I thought of her all the more.

  Then I unexpectedly ran into her again at aunt Catherine's, with Fitzwilliam, you know how easy-mannered he is, they enjoyed themselves hugely, he encouraged her liveliness, and I fell even faster under her spell. I tried to make contact with her, and thought myself successful, she talked to me in a very perky way, witty and very sharp. Frankly, Georgie, at that time it just didn't occur to me that she might not like me, I was handsome, rich, connected, and I read encouragement in everything she said to me. I hated the thought of burdening my family with hers, you should see her mother, she's a total featherhead, and her father is so sarcastic he frightens even me.

  Her younger sisters, well I tried to forget about them to be honest, and even managed to sometimes.

  But I just couldn't stand it any longer, my love was ruling me, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do anything useful anymore, I had to have her. So I forgot about family honour and went out one evening, to Hunsford Parsonage where she was staying with her foolish cousin, another hopeless family member. And I proposed to her, telling her about my burning love, but also about my qualms, still expecting her to accept eagerly.

  She didn't. She became very angry, and told me in no uncertain terms that she had hated me from the first of our acquaintance for being incredibly unfeeling and arrogant. And for ruining her sister's life. And for...yes, Georgie, I am going to tell you, though it will hurt you to hear. But you're clearly an adult now, so you will cope. Wickham was stationed where she lived, and apparently Miss Elizabeth had quite a fancy for him, and he told

  her a bunch of lies about me.'

  At the mention of Wickham, Georgiana couldn't help freezing, but her brother was right, she was an adult now, and this was not about her, but about him.

  'Continue your tale, Fitzwilliam, I need to know.'

  He nodded, squeezed her arm a little, and said, 'She blamed me for ruining his life. She threw all that right in my face, and I was crushed. I left, broken, it took me hours to find a semblance of myself again. Cousin Fitzwilliam was really nice to me, I confided in him and he advised me to write to her and tell her the truth, which I did. I handed her the letter, expecting to never see her again. I stayed here by myself for a month because I couldn't face anyone, starting to understand that Miss Elizabeth was right, that I had always been arrogant towards people I didn't know or thought beneath me.

  And I realised Miss Elizabeth had clearly shown me she disliked me, I just refused to see it.

  After a month or so I found I couldn't forget her, I still loved her, though I had no hopes of ever winning her affection. I thought I hid my grief quite well, but apparently I didn't since you knew. When I was just getting used to the idea of staying single, unable to even consider marrying someone else for an heir and a family of my own, let alone for love, I ran into her at Pemberley, she was viewing the house with a fashionable couple. They turned out to be family as well, and you know now how nice they are. I wanted to show her I had changed, and I think it worked. But I also fell back in love with her within half an hour, I still want her so much, I cannot think of living with anyone else. Tell me honestly, do I have a chance? Or will I get hurt again, even worse for having realised there is no-one else for me?'

  That was more than a little upsetting, her steady, positive brother totally distraught with love.

  'Please calm down a little, Fitzwilliam, it's not that bad. She is not the only woman in England, you know. There's always Miss Bingley.'

  He laughed, kissed her again and said, 'Thank you Georgie, I needed that. I guess I let myself get carried away. What do you advise, then?'

  Georgiana thought for a few moments, then said, 'She knows by now you didn't do anything to Wickham. You did hurt her sister, but that's done, you can't turn back the clock. And you were arrogant, you say, but you've tried your best to change, I've seen it, you really have. And, Fitzwilliam, you still

  are handsome, rich, and very smart. She has seen your house so she knows you have excellent taste in decorating.'

  'And in trees.'

  Seeing her inquiring look, he explained, 'She loves nature, and she took the circuit yesterday. Oh, and Mrs Reynolds said Miss Elizabeth stood before my portrait for quite a long time, as if in contemplation. And that she herself told Miss Elizabeth that I was the best landlord and master, and brother, anyone could have.'

  'That is so sweet of her,' Georgiana replied, 'and true, for you are the best brother ever. Since when do you discuss matters of the heart with Mrs Reynolds?'

  'She has always been like a mother to me,' her brother stated seriously, but a twinkle in his eye revealed he was just joking, 'all right, that's not true, but she happened upon me just after I saw Miss Elizabeth again for the first time, and I was in shock. She actually gave me some good advice.'

  'So all in all Miss Elizabeth knows you're not the spoiled, arrogant snob she took you for, and that your
staff and your sister love you. That is good.'

  But doubt returned.

  'Yes, but I did ruin her sister's prospects, and she can't know I'm planning to right that coming fall. I'll propose visiting Netherfield to Bingley, and they'll meet again, and if they're still in love everything will be back as it should be.'

  'I observed your Miss Elizabeth, talking to you, but also talking to Mr Bingley and her uncle and aunt, and she was different when talking to you.

  She seemed shy and a bit embarrassed. She may be falling for you already, Fitzwilliam, why not? You are all those good things we mentioned, and she must realise men with sense are as rare as women who have it.'

  'You're sweet, Georgie, but how will I know?

  'Be patient, my brother, you'll see her here for dinner, and now we're all acquainted you can ask her to come here whenever you want. You must not rush this, just woo her gently, slowly. Take your time, she needs time to change her mind about you, if you rush things you will take her by surprise once more. Start at the beginning, let her know you like her.'

  'But people will notice.'

  'Then why not let them? Or else it's a risk you'll have to take. She needs to know you love her, or she cannot fall in love with you. You're way above

  her.'

  'She knows that, because I told her at length. When I was proposing to her.

  Fitzwilliam was stunned with disbelief when I told him, he shook his head at me. She doesn't feel inferior, however, she knows rank is just an accident of birth. Those are his words, by the way. But I will try to find a way to let her know I still love her, and let her decide at her leisure whether she can return that love. And until she decides, may I seek you out once in a while to talk of her? It helps, I feel much better for it. And thank you so much for the advice.'