Revelations
Page 18
The look of devotion made way for a really big grin.
'How can you ever disappoint me when you keep saying things like that, things that make me love you even more? You're beautiful, you're smart, and you're delicious, and your so-called flaws are the spicy core of your being. Without them you would be bland, tasteless.
Shouldn't I be the one doubting? You didn't like me before, why should you love me now? Maybe you just married me because you felt guilty for being unfairly prejudiced against me. Maybe you didn't want to hurt me again, maybe what you feel for me is pity, not love. There is so much I could doubt, but I will not. I will love you to distraction and I will enjoy it. We're married and I can kiss you, and hold you, and talk with you, whenever I want.'
He certainly had a point there, if he didn't doubt, why should she? They held each other a little longer, then washed their faces and hands and went outside as long as the light lasted. Darcy showed Elizabeth his favourite spots near the house, a view across the stream in front of the house, the fruit and vegetable garden, which in winter was merely a lovely plot with a high wall around it, a little Greek-style folly on the opposite side of the house, very secluded and a place that begged for some expert kissing and fondling.
Tomorrow they would go further afield, right now it was already starting to get dark and they went back to the house, but through the stables. Here they met Peter, and Elizabeth was greeted enthusiastically by the stable hand with the sunny disposition.
'The new Mrs Darcy, I saw you get out of the carriage of course, but I had the team to take care of. So pleased to meet you, I can see the master is very happy to have you home with him.'
He bowed as he spoke and was so ingratiating that Elizabeth felt right at home, and she replied to his greeting with the same friendliness and enthusiasm. Encouraged by her familiarity, Peter asked, 'May I take the liberty to ask whether you are a rider, Mrs Darcy?'
'You certainly may, but I'm afraid I have to admit that though I can ride, I do not really like to practise my skills. I find horses intimidating, they're so big and strong.'
Darcy added, 'I would like her to try one of our good-tempered beasts, but I don't think we have a sidesaddle, nor has any of ours been trained to bear one, am I right?'
'I'm sorry Mrs Darcy,' Peter admitted, 'I totally forgot ladies generally ride sidesaddle. That would be rather frightening, I wouldn't like to do it. My missus is a farm girl, you see, and her father breeds hunters. She never uses a sidesaddle, that would be madly dangerous, those hunters are as fast as Mr Darcy's and as spirited. She always rides astride, with a special skirt split in the middle, like very loose trousers, she makes those herself. Of course with the little one coming she dare not ride at all anymore, she's afraid to fall off and hurt the little mite. But she'll be back on a horse as soon as the little critter is born, I'm sure.'
Peter had less awe for his master's wife than he expected to, she was so nice to him and not stuck-up at all, and he chatted freely until he remembered the master had asked him a question.
'I'm sorry Mr Darcy, sir, I forgot to answer your question, the thought of my missus always makes me talkative. We don't have a sidesaddle with the ones we use right now, but there is a right load of old saddles in the attic of the large barn. I could go there and check if you like, there are some huge spiders there that give me the creeps, but somehow I like scaring myself with them. And I do think Daisy, the sorrel mare, has been trained to a sidesaddle, though we've never used her that way. You might ask master Hugo, he would know of course, he bought her when you thought you might want a placid horse for long distances, except you hardly use her, I know master Hugo means to ask you whether you want to keep her, but not now, after your honeymoon.'
It was such fun to listen to Peter talking, he had such a zest for life.
Elizabeth clearly felt the same, she stood there listening to him talk, and smiled.
'Do you have time to show us around?' she asked.
'I do indeed have half an hour to spare, of course after that there is the feeding to do, but master Hugo will not fault me for taking half an hour to show the new mistress around. We all want you to feel at home here, especially since you can see us. Some ladies don't, you see, Mrs Darcy.
Begging your pardon, Mr Darcy, not to insult your friends or anything, and Miss Georgiana is always very friendly.'
'We all like to be treated as human beings, Peter,' Darcy said soothingly, the young man was clearly not used to talking with the people he served, but he would get used to that with Elizabeth around.
The stables were large, well-kept, and very cosy, Elizabeth almost wished she liked horses just to be there more often. But Peter's talk of split skirts and farmers' daughters was very diverting and it was clear he loved his missus very much. Apparently some other men adored their wives as well, maybe Fitzwilliam was not that unique. After their tour it was fully dark, and they went inside to wash their hands once again, it was time for dinner and Elizabeth had petted several horses, among which poor Daisy who might be sold soon, a solidly built sorrel mare with a friendly face.
Expecting to have dinner in the dining-parlour she saw during her tour of the house with her aunt and uncle, Elizabeth was very surprised to find herself led to a totally different dining-room. It was more grand than any room she had seen in the house so far, lilac walls, paintings everywhere, expensive, almost gaudy furniture and silk carpets on the floor. The China in the elegant cupboards and on the beautiful sideboard looked priceless.
Starting to feel very small once again, Elizabeth felt a hand on her shoulder as Fitzwilliam airily mentioned, 'We hardly use this room anymore, I prefer to dine in the dining-parlour, it's right next to this room and I've had it redecorated to be a lot more liveable. This room is ages out of style, it should also be modernised, but there is so much family-history attached to it I haven't dared tackle it so far. Once you've settled in we may try together.
There are plenty of empty rooms to store the riches in, the heirlooms that we dare not sell.'
He didn't even care about that room! In a flash of insight she observed, 'So
that is why it's not included in the tour, you're ashamed of the opulence!'
He nodded and added, 'And of course of someone damaging a priceless hideous family-piece, but mainly because I think it's in very bad taste. I don't want people to think I'm a braggart. I prefer to be judged on my kindness as a brother, and my taste in landscaping.'
He said that with self-deprecation, it must be weird to let complete strangers in one's house, to unavoidably discuss one's taste in furniture and one's life.
This room would indeed not form a faithful image of Fitzwilliam Darcy, nor of herself, for of course in a few months time people would start to become aware of Pemberley having a mistress, and then they'd blame Mrs Elizabeth Darcy for anything they didn't like!
Imagine, there would be total strangers looking at and walking around in what was now her home. Elizabeth thought of all the houses she visited herself, she had seen drawing-rooms, saloons, even bedrooms. She wouldn't want anyone to see their bedroom, but those were probably the chambers no longer used, or the spare-rooms. Galleries were no problem of course, and the ballroom, if Fitzwilliam had one. In fact, Elizabeth thought most visitors would actually love to view the splendid dining-room. They were after all visiting the great houses to see riches and heirlooms from times long past, she supposed the taste of the current owner didn't interest them very much.
But she could also understand Fitzwilliam not wanting to seem bent on flaunting his status, like Lady Catherine clearly was at Rosings. Compared to Rosings, Elizabeth didn't think the dining-room was in really bad taste, it was not ugly or anything, it was just way too opulent for daily use. If one wanted to impress rich relatives for instance it would do very well.
'So you usually don't use this room to dine in?'
'Exactly. I thought it would be fun to dine here tonight, make our first night here special since it's our honeymoon. M
ight as well enjoy the magnificence while it's still here.'
The sarcasm in his voice would have done her father pride to hear in his son-in-law. Elizabeth dared to make a suggestion nonetheless, sarcasm didn't scare her.
'Would you mind keeping this room as it is, for larger occasions? It is not actually ugly, merely very rich for daily use. It's great to impress people with.'
That idea seemed to please Fitzwilliam, though he confessed to some surprise.
'I didn't expect you to like a room this opulent, I supposed you'd like the dining-parlour better.'
'I do, for daily use, you have a great taste in decorating. But you know, Fitzwilliam, I've seen my share of great houses when I was travelling with my uncle and aunt, and we always got a thrill from seeing rooms like this one, richly furnished but in good taste, historically correct, with a collection of valuable heirlooms. We never judged the owner as a show-off, it always seemed more like a reflection of the glorious past than of the current inhabitant. I thought Lady Catherine's style of furnishing tasteless, because that was expensive without being beautiful or containing something of the family's history, but this is actually quite magnificent.'
That was something her husband needed to process, and after a minute or so of thinking and looking around, he observed, 'You may be right. I may have looked at those tours of the house a bit too much from my own point of view, what I wanted visitors to see, but of course they have their expectations, too. This room is pretty much the same as it has been for generations. Seen in that light it would be a total shame to redecorate it, so much history would be lost. Do you think we should not just keep it, but include it in the tour?'
'If you don't mind, I think your visitors would be very pleased to see it. Mrs Reynolds could explain, tell them how it was kept intact to reflect the history of the Darcy family.'
'I think that is a capital idea, I've never viewed a house so I just thought to show them the rooms I liked best, excepting that one room we'll keep to ourselves.'
This with a big wink of course.
'But you are right, visitors come here to see the riches they dream of, they want to gape at the magnificence of the old families. Let's rethink the whole circuit, you can be of help, you've been on the tour, saw everything yourself.'
That was true, but not entirely so.
'I was not a neutral visitor, love, I needed to see your human side, your endearing love for your sister especially, seeing her rooms was very important for my change of heart towards you. Had I seen that dining-room, my prejudice against you, my conviction of your towering pride, would have been confirmed.'
Then she added, musing, 'Though I don't want your visitors to fall in love
with you, so maybe you should show more splendour and less humanity.'
'My visitors will pretty soon be your visitors as well,' Darcy reminded Elizabeth, she might as well get used to the idea, people expected to get a tour in every big house they visited and they would know there was a 'lady of the house'.
'So think well what you want them to see, talk about it with Mrs Reynolds, and we can compose a new route together. But not necessarily on our honeymoon, it can wait.'
She seemed interested and she had the experience he lacked, this might become one of the duties she asked for, but it was clear that she would consider it a pleasure, not a duty.
Chapter 15
After dinner they retreated to a little room with a free standing bath in it, a room just for bathing! The bath was already full, someone must have had a lot of work getting it that way and they'd better make use of that work before it cooled off again. It was a tight fit with two adults, but they did enjoy sitting in the bath together, though after a while it got rather cold.
After drying each other off they then raced for the bed, leaving the cooling water for the staff to remove the next morning. And that bed was as good as it had looked this afternoon, so warm and so soft, and the covers were so thick. As Elizabeth started to get really warm, holding her beloved close, feeling totally tranquil after the hot bath, four days of travel and all the feelings she experienced today started to take over and she fell asleep before she could even think of making love.
There was no way in which Darcy could be disappointed over that, his urges had been satisfied so often the last few days that they did not bother him, besides, there were things that need thinking about, and that was best done by himself, before he went to sleep. Having a warm, soft shape lying against him just made it a lot more pleasant. How would he secure Elizabeth from ever becoming dependent on anyone? Money of course was the answer, and it needed to be available only to herself, not to him, not even to her children or family. Nathan would sort it out, and if he couldn't, Darcy would write to his London lawyer. A few weeks would see it arranged to his satisfaction.
Then the riding business, Darcy really wanted his beloved to feel the joy of riding a good horse, and hearing Peter talk so airily of his wife riding astride had returned his wishes to the front of his mind. The idea of a skirt that was divided in two parts did not entice Darcy at all, it was merely practical.
Ladies' clothes were not exciting, but usually rather boring, he totally agreed with Georgiana on that score. Could Darcy live with encouraging Elizabeth to do something her own class would find improper, but which other classes considered completely normal? Should he consult Mrs Reynolds? She was
very conservative, better not. Nathan then, he was married and he knew about proper behaviour. He also knew the people in this neighbourhood, they would never tell Darcy what they really thought, but Nathan was one of them, he'd be well-informed. And Darcy'd better find something else to do for Elizabeth during his meeting, they did after all have a deal there was to be no business these two weeks. Maybe she'd enjoy a tour of the other side of the house, the servants' side. Kitchen, laundry-rooms, storage and larder, scullery. Somehow he suspected she'd want to know what was going on in the house, in the entire house.
Exploring the rooms they didn't use would be a lot of fun too, especially with Mrs Reynolds, she had known Darcy's mother well and she knew a lot about the family-history. Or he could give Elizabeth that lewd book from his London library. Finding his father's stash in this house would be a pastime he wanted to undertake together, but of course she could easily spend a few hours browsing the fabulous library here. He'd just propose the options and she could choose, or do anything else she might enjoy, like going on a solitary ramble.
Satisfied with his contemplations Darcy very gently nuzzled his beloved, to feel her lovely soft skin, and smell her sweet feminine scent. Such a prize for him, such feelings she evoked in him, he had been very emotional with happiness several times today. But soon it would become sweet habit to stroke her, or kiss her, or make love to her, those memories of grief and sadness would no longer make him feel weak. So much to look forward to.
The next morning, Elizabeth wanted to walk around the whole park.
'Your gardener, John, was it?, said it was ten miles round, we can be back in time for lunch.'
Frankly, Darcy had never walked it in its entirety, though he had often made the trip on horseback, and had done quite some exploring with Bingley and Georgie a few months ago. But his boots were well-worn, he had been on several incredibly long walks with Elizabeth during their engagement, he knew he could easily walk such a distance. So why not? Maybe it was time for him to really get to know his own park by leaving his footsteps all over it.
And he managed quite well, they set a nice pace and enjoyed the autumn woods.
'It was more beautiful in summer, but I'm still very glad to be back here,'
Elizabeth said.
'It will be summer again before you know it,' Darcy replied fondly, 'and I'm even more glad than you, to have you back here.'
And he kissed her with all the love he felt, extending their outing by at least ten minutes.
Ten miles was quite a lot of ground to cover and by the time they got back, a bit later than Darcy's usual l
unch-time, they were both ready for a long rest and some hot food.
After lunch Darcy took Nathan to his study and Elizabeth was off for a tour of the servants' part of the house with Mrs Reynolds. It would have felt wrong to Elizabeth to live in a house and not know what lay behind every door. They started out in the kitchen and a large room adjacent to the kitchen with tables and chairs, such a large space with so much going on, Elizabeth never realised the staff needed to eat, too, and needed space to do so. This was like the common room of an inn, a place where they drank coffee and ate their meals, sometimes together, sometimes separate. Then there were a huge larder with mainly foods that would keep and a small space with perishables; meat, cheese and vegetables from their own kitchen-garden, or grown by the local farmers. The scullery was next, where the pots were scrubbed and the water was heated for washing and cleaning. The laundry-room needed hot water, too, and space to dry laundry even in wet weather. Household goods like bedclothes and liveries, candles, and China that had gone out of fashion were stored along with many other things the inhabitants of the house and its staff needed. And then there were the sleeping quarters for the staff, of course some went home after a shift, like Peter, but some, like Mrs Reynolds, lived in the house and had their own rooms and their communal outhouse.
So many people to take care of a single family, Elizabeth was dizzy with the implications. The scale of it all was difficult to envision, of course they had servants at Longbourn but not this many. She looked forward to the time when Mr Brewer would explain the finances behind it all. Last of all Mrs Reynolds showed her the cellar where the fuel was kept, so many rooms to heat, and all that fuel had to be bought and delivered, and brought to each hearth, each fire maintained all day.
Then they went back to the main part of the house, where Mrs Reynolds concluded the trip.