Revelations

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  Beloved of course dripped with sarcasm, not even painful to Elizabeth, for though she loved her sister, she did not envy the man who had to live with her as his wife.

  'You suggest my mother formed my character together with Richard, and I do think you may be right. He did not often include her in our outings, my father did not like that, but when she was allowed to come we had the best time ever, people often mistook them for being my parents. That was hardly proper, of course, but we'd usually go to places where Richard's own people didn't come, he loved the seedy parts of town.'

  By now they had sat down on a cold bench in full view of the house, and as intimate as their talk was, any observer would notice immediately that these two were members of the same family, not lovers. Her father's library faced the garden and Elizabeth hoped Fitzwilliam would look for her and see her behaving with the utmost propriety. She knew Wickham had misjudged Fitzwilliam for years, still did, but nothing could mend the breach between them after what Wickham did to his former friend, and she would not attempt to make him any wiser at the cost of her beloved's confidence. Let her brother-in-law believe what he would, nothing could be changed in his situation anyway, Wickham's fate was sealed.

  But Elizabeth could even feel a bit sorry for him, of course he had been weak and downright wicked, but only the strongest character would have survived the bad influence of a depraved mother as well as a licentious

  godfather and best friend. Apparently Wickham's father had tried to raise his son to virtue and acceptance of his fate, but all he had had to offer was the satisfaction of a duty fulfilled, while Mr Richard Darcy offered entertainment and had even showed Wickham his own mother celebrating life at the cost of her respectability, drinking and feasting among the lower classes.

  'Will you dance with me tomorrow, my dear sister?'

  'I will, once my sister lets go of her 'very dear Wickham'.'

  That even got a smile out of him.

  'I know I brought this all on myself, but still it is very hard.'

  'Better try to enjoy the wedding as much as you can. I'd advise you to ask my father for some counsel on how to deal with a featherheaded wife, but his solutions wouldn't suit you at all. He loves books and nature, and you're more a people's person.'

  Apparently, Wickham hadn't thought of this before, and he admitted, 'I am rather distrustful of my father-in-law, he's always so jovial to me but I just know he's mocking me, he despises me and frankly, who could blame him for that? After what I did? He must hate me as much as Darcy does.

  Besides, your father likes Darcy, finally a man who can understand what he says, a man to be taken seriously. I can understand him just fine, I'm not stupid, but I'm going to be on the wrong side of his sarcasm forever. And Darcy's loathing. They will not ever let me into this family, and it's all the family I'll ever have.'

  Well, they both had a valid reason to hate Wickham, and it was not as if he truly cared for family except now, the day before a wedding. Elizabeth did not think Wickham had the right to feel sorry for himself, what he had done was inexcusable in both instances, and she said severely, 'Well, maybe you should try a little harder then, to prove you want to be part of this family.

  You certainly entered it unwillingly enough.'

  'You're right, I'm sorry. It's been a real relief talking to you, my dear sister, I'm glad you were willing to listen for as long as you did. Darcy must have given you an earful of what I have done to him and to Georgiana. She loved me like a brother, and nothing more, but I misrepresented that until she believed herself in love with me. Though I assure you I would have been good to her. But enough of the past for today. Let's get back inside before your husband calls me out, he doesn't rage, but his icy anger is way more

  frightening, and if he had ever lowered himself to speak out against me he would have ruined me beyond repair. Let me be grateful to have had your ear for this last hour, and hope I, too, will find a way to enjoy my life being worshipped by a pretty, though empty-headed, young wife.'

  And when they did go in, Fitzwilliam was waiting in the hall, by himself, he must have sent the servants away, and Elizabeth truly believed she could see Wickham show some fear. But of course her beloved just wanted to greet her properly, meaning indecently, and he didn't want anyone to see it, Wickham obviously excluded. Before she had the chance to take off her coat he had her in his arms, his face in her furry collar, nuzzling her throat, and then kissing her neck upwards slowly, until their lips met and they kissed with abandonment.

  'I've missed you!'

  As she had missed him, somehow there was always a feeling of something lacking by her side when they were apart, and it could only be righted by an exchange of intimacies. Elizabeth had no idea if Wickham was still there, watching prudish Darcy behave without the slightest regard for propriety with disbelief and envy. She seriously considered taking her beloved to her own room, undoubtedly still as it used to be, but it just could not be. They had to be satisfied with a few kisses and some muttered words of affection, and it was very hard to finally let go of the other and go back to the drawing-room. Her father was still there, which was totally unique, he usually fled company as soon as he could get away without insulting anyone. But not this morning, he seemed eager to converse, and Elizabeth had a little idea that might help Wickham feel less shut out.

  'Mr Wickham, what is life like in the regulars? Are any of your battalion called away on active duty?'

  That did indeed interest Fitzwilliam as well as her father, and both men and Elizabeth gathered around the black sheep of their family, whose face immediately showed some of his old charm and liveliness.

  'As you know, thanks to Mr Darcy I am now an ensign in the infantry. As a militia officer I had too much time on my hands, time I spent unwisely, being led into temptation, building up debt, getting involved with the wrong people. The regulars are different, my soldiers are just one step up from rabble, they have no natural respect for rank and order, they have been hardened by life on the streets, where only the strongest and meanest

  survive. Privates in the regular army do not respect their officers except on threat of punishment, and believe me, they need a lot of punishment to keep them in line. But will you, gentlemen, and gentle lady, tell me how I am going to trust such men on a field of battle, in, say, France, with no burly sergeant with a whip in sight? I'll tell you, I won't. They'll do as they see fit, and we'll all die for lack of training or order.

  Now you all know I haven't always lived my life as a gentleman should, even as a young man I often visited those low neighbourhoods with the late Mr Darcy, he had a distinct preference for certain establishments out there, and I accompanied him.'

  Fitzwilliam showed some shock at hearing Wickham state dryly that the former's father, a respected gentleman, liked to visit seedy bars, but he did not protest or call Wickham out.

  After his first shocked surprise that Wickham would talk about this openly, he looked resigned, he must have had his suspicions about his father.

  Wickham looked away from the man he had wronged again and again, and continued his tale.

  'Later, having lost my prospects due to my own preference for low amusements, I even lived among the lower classes and consequently I feel a certain connection to these men, I know how to relate to them, and they respect me and take my orders. But of course only if I spend time with them, show them I know more about warfare than they do, explain why they need to follow my orders without question. I may be the only officer spending so much time with his men, but it serves me well, it earns me their respect, and it keeps me off the streets and away from the gambling tables, though it also keeps me away from my home and wife. I can now shoot a musket as well as any of my men, I know everything about formations and other battle tactics. I want to do something right, for once. And now rumours are flying that our battalions in France are not doing well because the French light infantry keeps messing up the lines of our superior marksmen.

  Gentlemen, Mrs Darc
y, if the war-office decides to create our own British skirmishers, light infantry, sharpshooters with undying loyalty to their officers, I want to be part of that effort. I want to lead men into the thick of battle, protecting the regular infantry by causing confusion among the enemy.'

  And George Wickham, the soft-spoken, gentleman-like young man looked positively determined to actually do this. No commanding from a distance

  for him, and a soft, lazy life in the army towns while the soldiers drilled marksmanship, formation fighting and hardiness, but a life of danger and hardship among men just one step away from criminals.

  'But, that is actually very dangerous, Wickham,' her father observed.

  Mr Wickham might congratulate himself that his father-in-law was finally addressing him seriously.

  'And going into battle with men I don't know and who think I'm an overdressed fop isn't?'

  He was right of course, but still it was very difficult to see mild-mannered Wickham as a hard-bitten soldier, he seemed so soft, and he had proven not to have much discipline.

  'Playing at being a soldier is all right in times of peace, but I know you all read papers as well I do, you know what is going on in France with the revolution, and in the colonies. I may very well be sent overseas, and I'm not going to enter a field of battle with looking well in scarlet and great gambling skills the only abilities I gained in the army. I want to know how to defend myself as well as my country, not be the only one in my unit who can't actually fight.'

  Fitzwilliam had not yet spoken a word, it had to be terribly difficult for him to be confronted with Wickham once again, and Elizabeth could see scepticism all over his handsome face. He had heard Wickham form resolutions before, no doubt, breaking them as soon as the first hardship presented itself. Reminding himself where he was, undoubtedly, Wickham also detailed another side of life in the army.

  'Lydia has taken to camp life extremely well, of course our private lodgings are very modest but she goes out gladly and is the best of friends with the other officers' wives. They chat, and even do some needlework, it can be difficult to get good staff, you see, and we officers do have to look our very best.'

  Elizabeth certainly found this interesting information and she was dying to ask more, she was really curious whether Lydia had settled at all being married, but found it hard to inquire in polite terms whether her sister still flirted and mainly lived for entertainment.

  'And my sister, does she read the papers as well? Is she at all worried you may be sent overseas to where the real fighting is?'

  'She knows there is always a risk I may be called upon to do my duty to

  King and country, and she knows I may be asked to lay down my life for our great nation, some of the other wives are very superior ladies, they have explained to her what they read in the papers. Of course, some also have first-hand experience of war and its atrocities, because they are older, or because they have a father or brother in the army. But mainly she is still the same girl she was before, eager for a dance or an outing with friends, she still has her favourites among the other officers, but she is always glad to have me come home, always eager for me to show her affection. She tells me she doesn't envy you your wealth, my dear sister, because she has me.

  Isn't that just sweet?'

  Wickham actually sounded affectionate here, as if he truly loved Lydia, but he had just told Elizabeth he was incredibly unhappy in his marriage.

  Fitzwilliam was right not to trust the slick fellow, he could lie with an absolutely straight face, he looked totally sincere, that didn't do much for his credibility with his 'dear sister'.

  Their visit didn't last long after this conversation. As Mr Bennet saw them out himself, Darcy used the opportunity to challenge him to a game of billiards that very afternoon, and Mr Bennet accepted gladly.

  'I was hoping you'd invite me over today, you were right about Wickham not being a reader nor appreciative of solicitude, my library was exactly as I had left it, not a leaf of paper or a chair had been moved. But since I'm back the library is no longer empty of people, and since my esteemed son-in-law is not a reader he tends to seek my company and talk incessantly. He has a more interesting view of the world than I expected, apparently being at the mercy of politics gives one a certain motivation to gain some insight in them, but I've seen enough of him already, yesterday evening. I'll be over for a game of billiards, and if I go on horseback I may be snowed in before evening, unable to return for the night. Look at the sky, an hour or two and all will be covered in snow. Had my brother Gardiner already arrived when you left?'

  They denied this, and Mr Bennet shook his head with worry.

  'If they have not arrived by now they may have to take lodgings somewhere along the way to escape the weather.'

  That was worrying indeed, and Elizabeth fervently hoped they had arrived safely by now, those poor children! And Jane was looking forward so much to having her aunt and uncle Gardiner at the wedding.

  Of course Darcy helped Elizabeth into Daisy's saddle, and they rode off at a walk, for he was very curious what Wickham had confided to his 'dear sister'. A questioning look should be enough. And it was, with a smile Elizabeth related the chief of their conversation, though she obviously felt sorry for Wickham to a certain extent. He had seen them sitting outside, in full view of the library, Elizabeth keeping a very proper distance from her brother-in-law.

  'I tried to calm his fears about having a child, but since he mentioned being sent abroad I'm starting to doubt that decision, what if he has to actually fight, what will happen to Lydia and any children?'

  'You cannot stop her from having children, Elizabeth, if it happens, it happens. And when it does, we'll help her as much as we can, suppose she has a little Elizabeth, smart and gentle, I still dislike Wickham intensely but he used to a sensitive child, and just as your mother got you and Jane, Lydia might get a potentially gifted child. We cannot leave such a child to grow up deprived of all sense and education. Don't worry love, we'll sort it out when we need to.'

  He was so sweet, and smart, and he looked at her adoringly.

  'And so he admitted to regretting you? And to hating me for being my father's heir? A year ago I would have declared him a liar, relating such a shocking thing about my father, but though he has proven he can lie with a straight face, letting us believe he has found a measure of happiness with Lydia, I'm afraid my father really did those things, take him into seedy bars, gambling, and chasing loose women. My family is partly responsible for how he turned out, and if he truly exerts himself in his current position and is allowed to apply for a place in a new company of skirmishers, I promise you I will use any influence I have and forward all the necessary funds to get him in, as well as make sure Lydia and any children she has will not be left destitute in the case of a tragedy.'

  Chapter 40

  Even at a walk they arrived at Netherfield before the snow started to fall, where Bob took their horses, his plain face showing he was glad to be part of a team of stablehands once more.

  'Thank you so much, ma'am, for inquiring after me. The other fellows are just stunned that Fanny accepted me, she gets so much respect being your maid, ma'am, they just cannot believe a girl like that'd marry a mere driver. I suppose I look like one of them peacocks for being so proud!'

  It was amazing how his staff had taken to Elizabeth, and Darcy could not help feeling a certain relief at Mrs Annesley's superb choice of promoting Fanny to become Elizabeth's maid. Fanny would undoubtedly be put upon by all the other servants to reveal details of Mrs Darcy's private habits, and some of those servants were very shrewd. If all the staff started to avoid Darcy's eye, then gloated at him in passing, he would know they'd cracked her. But Fanny had Simon to help her and if Darcy was not mistaken, a very strong will of her own. And besides, what else was there to gossip about than a lot of loving going on between Mr and Mrs Darcy? They could all see that for themselves and imagine the rest!

  Of course they retreated to their own
room to clean up a little and dress, and waiting by the door Simon merely asked, 'Will you ring when you are ready to dress?'

  Darcy nodded and Simon left. This time, Darcy cleaned up before they rung for their attendants and Simon did not complain. Fanny made another combination of country chic and a lovely new necklace for Elizabeth, how many of those had they found? This one was very intricate, it looked like real gold, felt like it, too, it was really heavy and very ornate. Figurines of what seemed to be Greek dancers demonstrated poses of more than common agility. Elizabeth studied it in the mirror then said, 'I'm young and not exactly inflexible, but I couldn't perform half of those, even if they weren't rather unsuitable for company.'

  Before they could go downstairs there was a knock on their door and Georgie came in. Darcy could hardly believe that this was his baby sister, she was wearing another one of the new dresses and turban-style hats, and she was all woman. Then she fell on the bed without the slightest regard for her ensemble, and addressed Fanny, apparently expecting some kind of great joke.

  'Now tell my brother and sister about the gossip in the other part of the house, Fanny, it'll crack them up.'

  Fanny looked really embarrassed, apparently gossiping to the master and mistress was a different thing than to the young miss. But with another encouraging look from Georgie, Fanny wrung her hands and started to speak.

  'According to Mrs Hurst, you must have put a spell on the master, for her own husband fell for it, too, last night. Her maid tried to get information from me, where you got the necklace, whether you always took so long changing after a ride, whether it was true you had the first maid of Mr Darcy's town house dismissed because she looked at you in the wrong way.

  How could she know you dismissed Janine, ma'am?'

  Not waiting for an answer, she probably realised they didn't know either, she continued.