Revelations

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  'I love beautiful clothes, I love the feel of quality weaves and I can afford them, same with workmanship, a coat fitted by an excellent tailor is such a joy to wear, so I buy my clothes only from the best. But whenever I let my tailor talk me into wearing fashionable colours I feel very conspicuous. You see, I know I lack personal beauty, and though I have gotten used to that to a certain extent, whenever I wear fashionable attire I feel the lack much more poignantly than when I wear muted colours.'

  Georgiana nodded in understanding, she had never felt beautiful in her youth, always taller than all the other girls and even the adult ladies. Only recently had she come to realise she was beautiful, but in a different way than she had wished for all her youth.

  Smiling at her fondly, he asked, 'You are not going to deny my self-critique?

  Tell me it isn't that bad, that I look like a true gentleman?'

  'No, Mr Manners, I'm not. I have never been very good at flattery, and I know what a handsome man looks like. You know my brother, you've met Simon, but you haven't seen my piano teacher yet. He is stunningly beautiful and he dresses very well, I'm surrounded by handsome men. But obviously being handsome or beautiful doesn't automatically make one a better person.'

  She involuntarily looked around for Mr Grenfell, but he was not in the room. Mr Manners looked positively soft as she continued.

  'I used to be rather plain myself, it's just these last few months that I have blossomed, so I remember the feeling. Especially in the company of beautiful ladies, who spent every possible resource on their toilettes in one continuous attempt to impress my brother, always making me feel like an overgrown, clumsy, ugly mouse. They tried not to rub it in, in the hopes of winning my approval, but that only seemed to make it worse for me.

  I understand why you wear what you wear, and I do think you are a true gentleman. I also think your personality makes you beautiful, it is clear everybody likes to be with you, which personally I find much more important than physical beauty, since that is entirely accidental and prone to decline. My aunt Catherine used to be a ravishing beauty, but she's grown very sour and rather stout. I look a lot like her, so I intend to enjoy my looks while they last, then try to stay good-humoured and at a decent weight.'

  'You could never be sour, Miss Darcy, since you will always have at least one great love in your life, as long as you have a piano to play you will be good-humoured. I find your honesty refreshing and I hope I'll get to meet your teacher. If he's even better looking than Mr Darcy as well as your brother's personal attendant, he must be a true Adonis. Better looking than Grenfell?'

  Such a gentleman, Mr Manners, discussing the relative beauty of the men instead of the ladies, he truly knew how to keep a girl interested.

  'Much better, Mr Grenfell makes me feel hunted, he looks like a predator. I can see why people would call him handsome, for his features are perfect and his manners are very fashionable, but I cannot appreciate his beauty for my instincts are telling me to run. To me, my brother will always be the most beautiful man in the world, but Mr Fielding is at least as handsome as

  Simon. And when his fingers touch an instrument his looks don't matter anymore, only the music remains. He makes me sound like an amateur. I wish you had been at his private concert at our town house, it was magnificent. He played his own compositions and they went straight to the heart.'

  Georgiana realised that she showed her usual adulation of Eric as she thought of his playing, her cheeks were burning and her eyes must spark.

  But strangely, Mr Manners seemed to understand.

  'You admire his talent a great deal, Miss Darcy, I guess more than his good looks. Am I right?'

  'You are. When he plays it just touches the heart, and when he plays his own compositions his world comes alive to the mind's eye. He says the music takes over his very thoughts until he writes it down. I admire such a talent very much, it is also a gift, like beauty and high birth, but he has worked hard to gain the skills needed to exercise that gift. I hope you will soon get to hear him. I hope everyone soon will know of him, Elizabeth says his works have the potential to bring him to fame even among the lower classes.'

  'So Mrs Darcy is an admirer, too?'

  'Very much so, yes, and my brother agrees his music is very accessible, though he is not a real connoisseur. My sister is not a great performer but she hears everything, and music really touches her.'

  'Miss Darcy, I admit I am a bit jealous of your little family party at home, the quiet evenings you must spend together, reading, or playing and listening to music. Spending time with one's college friends is great fun, but after ten years of it a bit of homeliness is starting to sound really attractive.'

  'And I didn't even tell you about my brother's special talent.'

  Georgiana had never realised they had such a good time together as a family, but it was true: having her brother married to Elizabeth and being together most evenings had brought her everything she had dared expect of their company, and more.

  'Please tell me; it's not music, if he were a singer or played some other instrument I would have heard by now. It must be something special.'

  'Fitzwilliam can read any book and make you feel you're inside it, part of the action. It's incredible, he doesn't even change his voice for the different characters, but you always know which one is talking. He never does it in public, so few people have heard him.'

  Mr Manners clearly thought that very interesting and was eager to hear for himself.

  'I can imagine it, Miss Darcy, your brother has a very fine voice. But he does seem far too down-to-earth to be a fabulous elocutionist. I'd have to hear it myself to believe it.'

  Now he was fishing for an invitation, but much more subtly than Mr Grenfell, and Georgiana really thought she'd like that, get to know this man better, stay in touch, be friends. And yes, see what happened, why not?

  Eric?

  She'd see her teacher least once a week until their move back to Pemberley in spring. That would be at least three more months, hopefully a solution would present itself before then, for the very idea of missing her lessons made Georgiana very anxious. And missing him in person? She was not going to miss Eric in person, was she? They never talked intimately, they only discussed music, and just the pieces he was teaching her. Everything she knew about him, she knew from that one evening of the concert. And from Elizabeth, who talked with him afterwards.

  Never mind, she was in company now, and she talked to Mr Manners until Kitty returned.

  When he invited them to join him in a game of billiards they had to admit neither of them knew how to play, and he promised to teach them the next time the table was empty. But for now they decided to watch him play, and he promptly challenged Mr Grenfell. A tiny voice inside Georgiana's mind asked whether he was doing that for her, and a knowing look from Mr Manners confirmed her suspicion. As they started the game, Mr Manners took his time to explain the rules to Kitty and Georgiana, and though this seemed to irritate Mr Grenfell, he didn't actually voice his objections to the constant pauses in their game, he seemed to just accept his friend's right to do as pleased him. Mr Manners did praise his opponent's game a lot, explaining his decisions to the girls, and lauding his successes, which seemed to please Mr Grenfell a lot. Was he that easy to manipulate? Or was it Mr Manners' easy familiarity that soothed him again and again? They were reputed to be good friends after all.

  The girls watched an entire game, it was a close match, and in the end Mr Manners won, fortunately, for Georgiana thought his opponent had recognised the challenge, and she wouldn't have liked Mr Grenfell to have

  any reason to think he had a right to claim Georgiana's attention or congratulations. As it was, the men shook hands and Mr Grenfell left the table, to find Miss Bingley on his way once more. He accepted her attentions and they chatted very lively. They looked great together, very fashionable.

  Several of the gentlemen were starting to feel a need for exercise and Kitty and Georgiana were left by thems
elves for an hour while most of the others went out for a long walk in the snow. As expected, Mr Manners joined the party, but Mr Grenfell stayed with Miss Bingley, who had clearly made her choice.

  'They admire you very much, Georgiana, those gentlemen. I suppose it's because you're so much more accomplished than me. And you have such lovely dresses, I wish I could buy my clothes in London.'

  Poor Kitty seemed envious, and Georgiana decided to try to put things a little in perspective for her.

  'Dear Kitty, those men may like the way I look, but most of them don't care three straws about what I can or cannot do. You know what they like so well about me?'

  Kitty shook her head, eager to hear more.

  'They like my fortune, and they like my brother's influence and connections.

  That is what they want from me, not my person or those other things.

  Though your sisters had much less chance of marrying a gentleman of standing than I have, at least they know their husbands really care for them, they know they are loved. If I were to marry one of these friends of Bingley's, or anyone else, I'd never know what I was getting myself in for.

  I cannot trust the motives of any man, Kitty, and while having a fortune and family connections undoubtedly has made my life a lot easier, it also has this enormous drawback.'

  She was certainly not foolish, her new friend, if she had been Georgiana wouldn't have had such fun with Kitty. And she was counting on having even more fun together this evening at the wedding party, dancing, and chatting about their partners afterwards. But for now, Kitty digested what Georgiana told her.

  'I never saw it that way, Georgiana. Mr Darcy would never have wedded Lizzy if he hadn't loved her a lot. But I've seen Mr Grenfell looking at you, and now you have told me this I do remember wondering whether he really

  looked at you as if you were a bite of prime steak, or if that was my imagination, or even my envy speaking. I'm sorry for you, but I guess Mr Darcy and Lizzy will help you decide whether a man truly loves you or just wants your money. You know, Mr Manners seems to admire you for yourself, but he does not look as smitten as Bingley or Mr Darcy do. Do you suppose that means he is not to be trusted either?'

  She was observant, Miss Catherine Bennet, could it be true that Lydia had merely suppressed in her the superb intelligence her elder sisters possessed?

  Was there still hope for Kitty? Probably not for a truly advantageous marriage but she was actually good company, and before whichever gentleman was invited to either London or Pemberley, Georgiana would ask Fitzwilliam to set a date for Kitty's visit.

  'You know, Kitty, I think you're right. He likes me, and he hints he would like more than friendship but he is not smitten. I'm going to keep a close eye on him, see if I can find out his feelings for me. I'm not in love with him, but I was considering him as a gentleman who can be trusted. Thank you for putting me on my guard. And as to your dresses, when you come to stay with us in London we'll get you some really nice ones. We'll go shopping with Simon, that sounds really weird, to go shopping with a manservant, but he pretends to carry our packages and actually gives us the very best advice.

  Wait until you see my dress this afternoon, you'll just not believe a man chose that for me. Elizabeth chose her own dress, and it's absolutely stunning, but Simon pointed out her little hat to her and found her necklace.

  And we'll go to the theatre again, and maybe row on a pond in a park, and maybe you can learn how to ride. Though we'd better do that at Pemberley, with Peter the stable boy, he's the best teacher. Anyway, don't worry about the dresses, we'll get them for you, I promise.'

  'Will you help me gain accomplishments, Georgiana?'

  'I can help you to learn to draw and play the piano, but to learn French you'd better get lessons. Just ask Mr Bennet, he'll let you have them. Or start in London, ask Mrs Annesley. She used to be my companion, and before that she was a governess, I'm sure she still loves to teach. She can help you get started. But I warn you, learning French is a lot of work! Come, let's see what all the fuss is about, maybe it's your sister coming back!'

  Chapter 43

  And indeed there was a rush of activity at the front door, people coming in in thick coats, covered in snow. Georgiana recognised Fitzwilliam, he was taller than anyone else in this company, and Elizabeth's lovely long coat was also unmistakeable. The bride and groom were already well inside, Bingley helping Jane out of her coat then handing it to a servant, both had red cheeks from the cold, but also from happiness Georgiana guessed.

  Kitty ran at her eldest sister and her new brother and congratulated both of them heartily. Well, a good example should be imitated so Georgiana followed suit, it was not very decorous, but somehow this wedding was turning into quite an informal occasion anyway because of the snow.

  Shaking hands with Bingley and kissing Jane, she was so sweet, who wouldn't want to kiss her, Georgiana expressed her happiness that they had managed to reach the church despite the weather. They both smiled, and Bingley suddenly seemed to remember something.

  'Dear Georgiana, I'm afraid the orchestra will not be able to make it because of the snow, will you be so kind as to provide us with some music today? Of course there will be others to take your place now and again so you can dance with my friend Manners, and your brother, but I dare say you're the best player we have.'

  Since Georgiana was sure of that she gracefully acceded, she could play all day long without ever getting fed up. And it would keep Mr Grenfell out of her hair, if Fitzwilliam or Elizabeth hadn't solved that little problem by then.

  Other people were now approaching to offer their best wishes to the happy couple, and Georgiana looked around to find her brother and sister to inform them about Mr Grenfell's intentions. And her eyes met George Wickham's at less than a foot's distance.

  The impudent fellow had sneaked up on her, at least that was what it felt like, and the sight of his handsome face with a soft expression brought back

  the past instantly. It had been nearly two years since she saw him last, just before Fitzwilliam arrived and she confessed their plans to him, and Wickham had changed as much as she herself must have in that short time.

  Though he behaved as charmingly as he used to something about him was different, he looked old and tired somehow. He was dressed rather handsomely, but Georgiana could clearly recognise the cheap quality cloth of his coat, the slight sag of the collar and the tiny wrench of one sleeve. His cravat was suffering from lack of attention, this was a man who was trying to hide a lack of money and barely succeeding. Concentrating on detail had enabled her to prevent blushing and looking down, Georgiana knew she was very pretty these days, as well as independently wealthy, and she lifted her head and greeted him with her sweetest smile.

  'Mr Wickham, such a pleasure to see you, you haven't changed a bit! Have you had a difficult trip over?'

  A little lie for propriety, he actually looked much worse than he used to.

  And he clearly had not expected her to rise to the challenge, he hesitated just an instant, looking rather stunned, actually. But he wouldn't be Wickham if he didn't answer readily and gently.

  'Not at all, Miss Darcy, we merely followed your brother's carriage to get here, it was a breeze, thank you so much for asking. Miss Darcy, pardon my frankness, but you have really come into your own the last year, you're so grown-up and so beautiful, I'm almost struck dumb.'

  Almost, yes, but not entirely, not Wickham. But at least he was polite, and he knew not to touch her, unlike Mr Grenfell.

  'Thank you for your compliments, Mr Wickham. Will you introduce me to your lady wife? She's the only one of my sisters I haven't as yet met.'

  From the corner of her eye she could see Fitzwilliam's face showing a mixture of concern and anger in its perfect features, and she took a moment to look at him soothingly, to let him know she had the situation in hand.

  After this morning there was little that could fluster Georgiana Darcy, she single-handedly conquered her shyness to lea
d an obnoxious would-be suitor a merry chase until help arrived. Even more surprised, Wickham did exactly as she asked.

  'Miss Darcy, please meet my lovely wife Mrs Lydia Wickham, and Mrs Wickham, I'm very pleased to introduce you to Miss Darcy.'

  Lydia didn't look like a simpleton, she was pretty, but her dress was as badly fitted as Wickham's coat, and still she seemed radiant. Elizabeth's youngest

  sister was truly very happy to have caught this smirking nobody. And she was actually quite nice, she shook hands with Georgiana amiably and exclaimed, 'Miss Darcy, I have so wanted to meet you! You're much handsomer than I expected, and your dress and little hat are just a dream!

  Don't you think my husband is the handsomest man that was ever seen? I feel so sorry for all the rest of you ladies that there is only one Wickham!'

  She truly meant it, it was just incredible! Lydia knew Wickham better than anyone, excepting maybe Fitzwilliam, and she still liked him! Now totally amazed herself, Lydia continued.

  'Though Lizzy seems to like Mr Darcy reasonably well, can you imagine that? He's handsome, and rich, but still... Oh, I'm sorry Miss Darcy, he's your brother of course, I didn't mean to make it seem as if he's no good.'

  'But he's just not Mr Wickham, I guess,' Georgiana filled in with humour.

  'Exactly! You understand, Miss Darcy, Lizzy always looks at me with such loftiness. As if she didn't want him for herself.'

  Lydia seemed to have forgotten that her husband was standing right next to her, and he certainly did catch Georgiana's ironic tone very well. But apparently he was used to Lydia's ramblings and had grown very proficient at ignoring them. Seeing Elizabeth approaching, undoubtedly to save her from the couple she feared would hurt her sister-in-law, Georgiana took leave quickly.

  'I'm sure we'll have another chance to chat today, it was so nice meeting you, Mrs Wickham!'

  She smiled and even meant it, Lydia might be a bit foolish but she was not really a bad person. Wickham got a polite nod, and Georgiana embraced Elizabeth warmly.