You Make Me Feel So Dead

by Robert Randisi

‘What if she did do it?’

  ‘Just keep drivin’.’

  TWENTY-TWO

  It was late when we got to the Sands – late, that is, for anyplace but Vegas. I took Jerry directly up to his suite.

  ‘Your suitcase is in the bedroom,’ I said. ‘Do you want to turn in?’

  ‘No,’ he said, ‘I want somethin’ to eat. Gettin’ grilled makes me hungry.’ He had no idea he’d made a joke.

  ‘OK,’ I said. ‘We can get something downstairs.’

  ‘I wanna take a quick shower and change first.’

  ‘Take your time,’ I said. ‘I’ll make a call.’

  ‘To the Dick?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Know what you’re gonna tell ’im yet?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Good luck.’

  He went into the bedroom and in moments I heard the shower running. I sat on the sofa, moved the phone from the end table to the coffee table, and dialed Danny’s number.

  ‘Eddie,’ he said when he realized it was me, ‘you got somethin’ for me?’

  ‘I’ve got some things,’ I said, ‘but I don’t know how much to tell you.’

  ‘What?’ he said. ‘Why wouldn’t you tell me everything you’ve found out, Eddie?’

  ‘I guess I should,’ I said, ‘but not right now, Danny. Let’s have breakfast tomorrow.’

  ‘Did something happen?’ he asked. ‘Is Penny OK?’

  ‘Penny’s fine,’ I said.

  ‘Then what’s goin’ on?’

  ‘Danny—’

  ‘Never mind breakfast,’ he said. ‘I’m comin’ over there – as soon as you tell me where you are. Where are you? The Sands?’

  ‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘OK, look, Jerry and I will be in the Garden Room. Meet us there.’

  ‘OK,’ he said. ‘I’m on my way.’

  ‘See you soon.’

  I hung up and jumped when Jerry came into the room.

  ‘That was a quick shower,’ I said.

  ‘That’s what I said it was gonna be, Mr G.,’ he said. ‘Who you gonna see soon?’

  ‘Danny,’ I said. ‘He’s gonna meet us downstairs.’

  ‘You gonna tell him now?’

  ‘I couldn’t put him off,’ I said, ‘and you’re right. He deserves to know everything.’

  ‘I like bein’ right.’

  ‘Yeah, well,’ I said, ‘don’t make a habit of it. You ready?’

  ‘Ready and hungry.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I said, surprising myself, ‘me, too.’

  TWENTY-THREE

  Jerry and I had plates in front of us when Danny showed up.

  ‘I’ll have the same,’ he told the waitress, as he took a chair at the table. Sitting in a booth with Jerry was just too confining. I didn’t have much of a choice at the Horseshoe, but the Garden Room had tables as well as booths.

  He flipped over the cup on the table in front of him and poured some coffee from the pot next to it.

  ‘OK, guys,’ he said, ‘what’s up?’

  ‘Danny,’ I said, ‘Penny’s OK, but she could end up in trouble.’

  ‘What kind of trouble?’ he asked. ‘Was she seein’ somebody?’

  ‘There was an old boyfriend,’ I said, ‘but she wasn’t seein’ him. Not the way you think.’

  ‘Then what?’ he asked. ‘In what way was she seein’ him? Who is he?’

  ‘OK,’ I said, ‘I know this’ll be hard for you, but just relax and listen.’

  I explained about Penny’s old boyfriend showing up, and the demands he was making on her. Then I told him about Jerry following her, and about the boyfriend being found dead. Finally, Jerry’s arrest while Penny had gone home and stayed there. During that time the waitress brought Danny his food. Jerry attacked, I picked and Danny just kind of played with his.

  ‘I’m sorry you got nabbed, big guy,’ he said, ‘but thanks for coverin’ for her.’

  ‘Forget it,’ Jerry said. ‘They had nothin’ on me.’

  ‘OK,’ Danny said to me. ‘I listened. Why didn’t she come

  to me?’

  ‘She said if she told you about Reynolds you would’ve killed him.’

  ‘I probably would’ve,’ he said. ‘Wait, does she think that I—’

  ‘No, she doesn’t think that.’

  ‘Who do the police think did it? Besides Jerry, I mean?’

  ‘The police don’t know about Penny yet – but they will.’

  ‘How?’

  Jerry and I exchanged a glance.

  ‘No point keepin’ anything from me now.’

  ‘Yeah, well, this is something Penny might want to tell you herself.’

  ‘But will she?’ he asked. ‘Come on, Eddie. I know she probably made you promise but we go back a long way.’

  ‘Brooklyn,’ Jerry said.

  ‘Yeah,’ Danny said, ‘Brooklyn.’

  ‘OK,’ I said. I told him about Penny’s priors and the likelihood that the cops would find her by going through Reynolds’ known associates list.

  ‘Jesus,’ he said, ‘you think you know somebody …’

  ‘She was just a kid,’ Jerry said.

  ‘Oh, I know that,’ Danny said. ‘I’m not gonna hold it against her. I just thought it was something I shoulda known already.’

  ‘She was afraid,’ I said.

  ‘Yeah, I know,’ Danny said. ‘There’s a lot of that goin’ around. Well, I guess I better go and see her.’

  ‘Danny—’

  ‘Eddie, don’t worry,’ he said, standing up. ‘I’ll go easy. I just want her to know … well, there are just things I want her to know.’

  ‘Are you sure I shouldn’t come along?’

  ‘Positive,’ Danny said. ‘You guys have done enough, and I appreciate it. I’ll call you.’ He looked at Jerry. ‘Take it easy, Gunsel.’

  ‘You too, Shamus.’

  He walked out of the Garden Room with Jerry and I watching him go.

  ‘Think we did the right thing, lettin’ him go alone?’ he asked.

  ‘They have a special relationship,’ I said. ‘It’ll be OK.’

  Jerry had finished his food. He pulled Danny’s unfinished plate over and started in on it. I realized I was hungry and started in on mine in earnest.

  ‘What’d he mean?’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘That thing about everybody bein’ afraid. What’s he afraid of?’

  ‘Oh, that,’ I said, chewing. ‘I think he’s afraid of letting Penny know how he really feels about her.’

  ‘Don’t he know she’s crazy about him?’ he asked. ‘Anybody can see that.’

  ‘Yeah, well,’ I said, ‘Danny’s not anybody.’

  ‘Well, I hope they talk to each other tonight,’ Jerry said.

  ‘So do I, big fella,’ I said, ‘so do I.’

  ‘So what do we do now?’ Jerry asked.

  ‘Oh, I didn’t tell you,’ I said. ‘Elvis is getting in tomorrow.’

  ‘That’s great, Mr G., but since you don’t need me no more for this thing with Penny maybe ya wanna ship me back to Brooklyn?’

  ‘You came all this way, Jerry,’ I said. ‘You should at least get to meet Elvis … if you want to, that is.’

  ‘Well, sure,’ he said. ‘Who don’t wanna meet Elvis, huh?’

  ‘OK then,’ I said, ‘you can come with me tomorrow when I go to the Riviera.’

  ‘Breakfast first?’ he asked.

  I laughed and said, ‘Yeah, of course, breakfast first.’

  TWENTY-FOUR

  Elvis’ scheduled check-in time was ten a.m. I gave him time to settle in and showed up at the Riviera at eleven, with Jerry in tow.

  The front of the hotel was already mobbed with fans who had somehow gotten word of Elvis’ arrival. We drove around the back. There was a crowd there, too, but not as many. Still, we had to fight our way through to get inside. There were security men on the door holding the crowd out. Luckily, one of them knew me from the Sands and allowed us to enter, which raised the ire
of the crowd.

  ‘Must be nice to have people know you like that,’ Jerry said.

  ‘It has its moments,’ I admitted.

  I presented myself at the front desk and announced that I was there to see Elvis Presley.

  ‘Eddie Gianelli.’

  The clerk was a young guy who didn’t recognize my name. He must have been new.

  ‘Yes, sir,’ he said, ‘I have you on the approved visitor list.’ He looked up at Jerry. ‘And you, sir?’

  ‘He’s with me.’

  ‘That may be, sir, but I can’t allow him to go up unless he’s on the list.’

  ‘Well,’ I said, ‘call the room and ask Mr Presley.’

  ‘I can’t disturb—’

  ‘Look,’ I said, ‘I’m expected, and I’m not going up without my friend. Now, do you want to tell Mr Presley or his people that you wouldn’t let me up?’

  ‘Well, no sir, but—’

  ‘Call … or call Tommy.’

  ‘Tommy?’

  ‘Tommy Harper? The concierge here?’

  ‘You’re friends with Mr Harper?’

  ‘Very good friends.’

  ‘Just a minute, sir.’

  He picked up the phone and called Tommy, grateful for an alternative to having to call Elvis’ suite.

  ‘Yes, sir,’ I heard him say, ‘he says he’s here to see Elvis and he’s a friend of yours. Uh-huh, Eddie Gianelli. Yes, sir. Thank you.’

  He hung up and looked at us.

  ‘Mr Harper will be right with you.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  We stepped away from the desk to wait.

  ‘What an idiot,’ Jerry said. ‘He don’t know who you are.’

  ‘Lots of people don’t know who I am, Jerry.’

  ‘Naw, that ain’t true, Mr G.,’ Jerry said. ‘Only the idiots.’

  Tommy appeared in moments, walking across the lobby with purposeful strides. His red hair looked redder than ever, and he had that ‘what, me worry?’ Alfred E. Neuman look on his face.

  ‘Geez …’ Jerry said.

  ‘I know.’

  ‘He looks just like that Mad magazine guy.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘Geez …’

  I wondered how he’d look in twenty years or so, when he went grey – or bald?

  ‘Eddie, what the hell …?’ Tommy started.

  ‘This is legit, Tommy,’ I said. ‘Elvis is waiting for me.’

  ‘Yeah, but who’s this guy?’

  ‘Tommy, meet Jerry Epstein,’ I said, ‘a friend of mine from Brooklyn.’

  ‘Brooklyn?’

  Tommy was of the opinion that everybody from Brooklyn was a gangster. Looking at Jerry did nothing to disabuse him of that belief.

  ‘Yeah, hello.’

  ‘Hi.’

  Tommy leaned in and whispered, ‘You wanna take him up with you?’

  ‘I do.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘I think you’ll find that any friend of mine is a friend of Elvis’,’ I said. ‘Call him and ask.’

  ‘Call Elvis?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘I’m supposed to wait until he calls me.’

  ‘OK, look,’ I said, ‘I’ll go to a house phone and call him myself.’

  ‘Whataya gonna tell ’im?’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ I said, ‘I won’t tell him that you and your clerk gave me a hard time. I’ll just tell him I’m here and I want to bring Jerry up with me. OK?’

  ‘Yeah, yeah, OK,’ Tommy said. ‘That sounds good. The house phones are over here.’

  ‘I know where the house phones are, Tommy,’ I said, but he walked us over to them, anyway.

  I picked up the receiver and asked to be connected to Elvis Presley’s room.

  ‘Sir,’ the operator said, ‘I’m only supposed to put through people who are on the approved list.’

  ‘I’m on the list,’ I assured her. ‘Eddie Gianelli.’

  ‘Mr Gianelli,’ she said, as if she recognized my name, ‘yes, sir, I’ll put you through.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  The phone rang and after three of them it was picked up and a morose voice said, ‘Hello.’ I recognized it right away.

  ‘Hey Red, Eddie Gianelli here.’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘I’m, uh, downstairs, trying to get up.’

  ‘So? Your name’s on the list.’

  ‘I know, but I’ve got a friend with me.’

  ‘What for?’

  ‘He’s going to help me.’

  ‘With what?’

  ‘Red,’ I said, ‘would you do me a favor and ask Elvis if I can bring him up with me?’

  ‘Does he want an autograph?’

  ‘He doesn’t.’

  Red hesitated. Maybe he was shocked.

  ‘Hold on.’

  He muffled the receiver, probably with his hand, and called out to someone, presumably Elvis.

  ‘Yeah okay,’ he said, when he came back on, ‘just come to the top floor.’

  ‘What room?’

  ‘Like I said,’ Red answered, ‘the top floor.’

  I hung up and said to Jerry and Tommy Harper, ‘It’s OK.’

  ‘What room?’ Jerry asked.

  TWENTY-FIVE

  ‘The whole top floor?’ Jerry said again, as we went up in the elevator.

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘Now that’s money,’ Jerry said.

  ‘Serious juice,’ I agreed.

  The elevator door opened and Red West was standing there with his crew cut intact. He immediately looked Jerry up and down and while he may not have wanted it to show, I could see that he was impressed.

  ‘This way,’ he said. ‘E’s waitin’.’

  I followed Red down the hallway, with Jerry bringing up the rear. Elvis had obviously taken over the Presidential Suite, which we entered, the door having been left ajar.

  ‘… tell ’em to get it up here fast,’ I heard Elvis saying to somebody.

  We entered the suite and I saw Elvis seated on a sofa, speaking into the phone.

  ‘There you are,’ he said to Red. He held the phone out to him. ‘We need a lot more Pepsi. A lot more.’

  Red took the phone and said, ‘I’ll take care of it.’

  ‘Eddie!’ Elvis said. ‘I’m glad to see you. Who’s your big friend?’

  ‘Elvis, this is Jerry Epstein,’ I said. ‘Jerry, meet Elvis Presley.’

  ‘Pleasure to meetcha,’ Jerry said, putting out his hand.

  ‘Wow,’ Elvis said, ‘you’re a big boy.’ He shook Jerry’s hand. ‘What a grip. You know karate?’

  ‘No,’ Jerry said.

  ‘Too bad,’ Elvis said. ‘I’d love to work out with you.’

  ‘Whataya mean, like, spar?’

  ‘Yes, spar, that’s what I mean.’

  ‘We could spar,’ Jerry said.

  ‘Really?’ Elvis asked. ‘I’m a black belt, you know.’

  Jerry grinned and said, ‘I don’t need no belt.’

  ‘Whoa!’ Elvis said. He turned to Red, who was hanging up the phone. ‘Red, we got us a live one.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Red said.

  ‘That Pepsi comin’ up?’ Elvis asked.

  ‘Yeah, E,’ he said. ‘It’s on the way.’

  ‘It shoulda been here when we checked in.’

  ‘I’ll tell ’em.’

  Elvis turned his attention back to us.

  ‘What’s on your agenda, Eddie?’ he asked.

  ‘I thought you might want to see the sights.’

  ‘I do, but first I got a rehearsal this afternoon. How about tonight we go someplace to eat?’

  ‘Suits me.’

  ‘Bring Jerry, too,’ Elvis said.

  ‘Thanks,’ Jerry said.

  ‘Where are you from, Jerry?’ Elvis asked.

  ‘Brooklyn,’ Jerry said, ‘just like Mr G.’

  ‘You guys be back here at eight tonight and we’ll do it. Red, make sure Jerry’s name is on the list, hear?’

  ‘I hear,
E.’

  Elvis shook hands with both of us again.

  ‘Where are the rest of the guys?’ I asked.

  ‘They got other rooms on this floor.’

  ‘Will they be with us tonight?’ I asked. ‘Just so I know.’

  ‘Oh yeah,’ Elvis said, ‘we’re all goin’ out to eat. Oh, Ann-Margret will be with us, too.’

  ‘Ann-Margret?’ Jerry asked.

  Elvis looked at Jerry with a big grin on his face.

  ‘I’ll introduce you,’ he promised. ‘She likes big guys.’

  ‘That’d be great,’ Jerry said. ‘I really like her.’

  ‘She’s a good girl,’ Elvis said. ‘And wait til you see her in this movie. What a talent. Red! Take them back to the elevator, will ya? I’ll see you boys tonight.’

  ‘We’ll see you,’ I said, and followed Red out of the room.

  Red stopped right in front of it, but didn’t press the button.

  ‘You’ve got to press the button for it to work’ I said.

  He turned his head, looked past me at Jerry.

  ‘E wants to spar with you.’

  ‘I know,’ Jerry said. ‘That’s fine with me.’

  ‘He’s got a black belt,’ Red said, ‘but you strike me as the kinda guy that don’t mean nothin’ to.’

  ‘I fight for real,’ Jerry told him, ‘not for belts.’

  ‘I figured that,’ Red said. ‘I wouldn’t take it too kindly if Elvis got hurt. You understand?’

  ‘I understand,’ Jerry said. ‘I don’t intend to hurt him.’

  ‘Good,’ Red said, ‘’cause if you do, you’ll have to deal with me.’

  Red wasn’t as big as Jerry, but I thought it would be an interesting fight.

  Jerry just stared at him.

  TWENTY-SIX

  In the Riviera lobby Jerry said, ‘Who was he tryin’ ta kid?’

  ‘Red? He doesn’t like anybody except Elvis and maybe Elvis’ friends. Oh, and his cousin, Sonny.’

  ‘He should watch how he treats strangers,’ Jerry said. ‘Somebody might get the wrong idea.’

  ‘You can get the wrong idea about Red.’

  We walked through the casino and out into the sun.

  ‘So now we have time,’ Jerry said. ‘What do we do with it?’

  ‘We could check with Danny and Penny, see how they’re doing,’ I said.

  ‘Get somethin’ to eat?’

  ‘Eventually,’ I said, ‘like … lunch?’