Tall, Dork and Handsome

by Remy Richard

  Why that made it seem less pathetic, she never could say.

  She made her way from the little bathroom into the somewhat larger living room of her tiny apartment, walking on her heels with her toes up in the air. She’d already had a bath, deep conditioned her hair and exfoliated her feet. After donning her panties, a silk flowered robe she had uncovered in the back of her closet when she’d moved and her mud mask, she was ready to get started on her pedicure.

  Idly she flipped through the channels until she found an in syndication sitcom that she could watch without actually looking at the screen. She settled into the enormous upholstered chair, liberated from her brother’s home when she had left, and shook the bottle of nail polish. A delightful pinkish red called “Cha-Ching Cherry”.

  Her brow wrinkled as she carefully applied the first coat. Waiting for it to dry, she leaned back into her chair and surveyed her domain. For the first apartment she’d ever owned by herself, she didn’t think she’d done a bad job. It had been a happy coincidence that the furniture that had sat in her sitting area in her bedroom at her brother’s had fit perfectly in the new living room.

  Actually, most of the furniture was from somewhere in her brother’s home. He hadn’t even noticed as she had loaded up pieces from all corners of the house. Or maybe he had noticed and he didn’t care. That seemed more like Holden. He’d offered to pay for an upscale apartment in a building with tons of amenities, but Lila had turned him down. She had a small nest egg built up from coding jobs she’d done, mostly given to her by her brother admittedly, but she wanted a taste of independence. At twenty-five, she was due.

  Strangely enough, Holden hadn’t put up much of a fight about her leaving. His newly hired head of security, Sam Powell, had pitched a downright fit however. Just thinking of Sam gave Lila a shiver down her spine.

  The man was delicious from head to toe. Or so she assumed. She hadn’t actually seen what was under his clothes but she had imagined it plenty. In her dreams, she was intimately familiar with what was under those starched shirts and slacks.

  After the first break-in attempt on Holden’s home, Dylan had suggested that her brother add some security. While Holden had seemed bothered by the nuisance, he had eventually agreed and interviewed a few candidates. She had never asked what Sam had said in his interview, but ten minutes later he had been hired.

  Fifteen minutes after that she had been smitten.

  Which was a pity because Sam didn’t pay her any attention unless he was chastising her about something. When she did live with her brother, it had seemed like his every word was a subtle indictment of her lack of independence. And then when she had announced that she was moving out, he had been adamantly against it. He was too confusing by far.

  He’d been even angrier when she had turned down Holden’s offer of a financed apartment and rented a smaller place in a middle class neighborhood. To anyone else, the place was perfectly nice and safe, if a bit small, but Sam had acted as if she wanted to go live in the middle of the slums. Only when Holden told him to drop it had Sam let go of his favorite diatribe.

  So now she had her apartment and her Friday Spa-Nights and her independence. And if independence was a bit lonely, so what?

  A knock at the door startled her as she was about to apply the second coat of polish. Probably a pizza guy looking for someone else’s unit. At night the numbers on the side of the building were unlit and all but un-seeable.

  Lila hopped up and did her toes up walk to the front door to look out of the peep hole, leaving a smear of mud mask on the door. Through the fish eye lens she could just make out Sam’s irritated face. “Open up, Lila.”

  She pulled back quickly as if he could see her through the peep hole. “What are you doing here?” She tried not to sound freaked and ended up with a squeak.

  He knocked again, even though he knew that she was standing right there. Infuriating man. “Let me in. I need to talk to you.”

  “Go away. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” she hissed, mortified to be caught home alone on a Friday night.

  “I just want you to remember that you’re making me do this,” he said in a resigned voice. And then in a louder voice, “Ma’am, someone sent you a stripper gram and I can’t leave until you accept your show.”

  Lila groaned. She hadn’t gotten to know her neighbors yet, but it seemed like they were getting an earful about her. She yanked the door open and grabbed his thick wrist to pull him inside the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

  Hands on her hips, she confronted him. “What the hell are you doing here? Don’t you have any boundaries?”

  Instead of the quick retort she was used to from Sam, she got a glazed-over stare. “Hello, earth to Sam,” she said as she snapped her fingers in front of his face.

  “What—” His voice came out strangled, and he stopped to clear his throat. “What are you wearing?”

  Lila crinkled her brow in confusion. That was not at all what she had thought he was going to say. She was going to ask him what he was talking about when she had an inch on her nose. That she scratched. And her fingers came into contact with her mud mask.

  “Oh my God,” she said with a screech that would surely wake the neighbors up if they weren’t already listening at the walls for noise from her stripper gram. She took a few backward steps and then whirled to sprint the few steps to the bathroom. After scrubbing several minutes longer than was necessary to wash the mask from her face, she finally gathered the courage to go out and face him.

  She made her voice as controlled as possible. “You’ve got ten minutes to explain what you’re doing here.”

  At the sound of her voice, he turned around from where he was studying a framed Van Gogh print and faced her. Even without the mask, it seemed to take him a few seconds more than normal to gather his thoughts. In fact, in those few seconds he seemed more than a little absorbed with her bare feet. Interesting.

  Gaining confidence, she strolled further into the living room and plopped back down in her armchair. Normally, she would have curled her legs up beneath her but if he wanted to look at her feet, who was she to deny him?

  He shook his head and then pinned her with a cold stare. “Your brother’s been calling all afternoon. Why haven’t you answered?”

  She rolled her eyes. Honestly, if he was going to come out here every time she didn’t answer her phone he may as well just lease and apartment next door. Maybe then she could lend him some sugar.

  Lila stretched her legs out in front of her and wiggled her toes. One coat of polish didn’t look great but she seriously doubted Sam would care. “I was in a tournament. I always turn my phone off when I’m playing World of Warcraft.”

  “Are you serious? You turned your phone off because you were playing a computer game?” His incredulous tone was enough to push her over the edge.

  “It’s not just playing to me. I code video games for a living. I need to be up on the latest games and expansions.” She spoke slowly so he could understand. And to insult him.

  “I haven’t seen you do much of anything for a living, so I wouldn’t know.”

  Now that stung. The gaming business was tough to break into, and Lila was trying to do it on her own. Sure, she could have gotten offers from some of the top companies if she had used her own last name. Only those companies wouldn’t have been interested in her. They would want to leverage her to get to Holden. She wanted, no needed, to make it on her own merit, which meant taking some time to prove herself.

  Rather than try to explain herself, Lila just concentrated on looking bored. “See, this is why I got an apartment. It means I don’t have to answer to your beck and phone call. Go home and tell Holden I’m still in one piece with a clear conscience.”

  He was back to looking serious as he sat on the sofa across from her. “It’s not that simple. There’s been another break-in at your brother’s house.”

  Lila wanted to snark that he wasn’t as good as he pretended if he’d let yet another
attempt go unanswered but restrained herself. It never paid to get into it with Sam. He always managed to get the upper hand somehow. Instead she asked politely, “Is everyone okay?”

  He nodded. “We caught the intruder but…there’s a catch.” When Lila made a go ahead motion with her hand he continued. “She let slip some info that has to do with you.”

  She had been about to ask about the female pronoun for the burglar but the thought fled away at his second statement. “Me? What about me?”

  “It seems that there’s a plan to kidnap you to use as leverage to ransom the completed program from Holden.” He said it stoically, but there was a hint of apology to his words.

  “Kidnap me?” Lila wanted to be brave, but shock was really all she could muster up.

  “That’s not going to happen. I’ll keep you safe, Lila,” he said fiercely.

  Normally those would be words to her ears. Days in close proximity to Sam would be like a dream. But not when she was a burden. A babysitting assignment that he saw as his responsibility.

  She stood and paced the small room. “How seriously are we taking this threat? I mean, how many people stop by for a bit of thievery and end with a warning?”

  Sam stood as well. “I’ve talked to her a couple of times as has Holden. We both think the warning is pretty credible. We’re trying to learn more from the woman.”

  Lila wanted more than anything to leave with Sam and hide out in her brother’s safe home until this was over but she couldn’t. Independence, she reminded herself.

  “Well, thanks for the heads up. I’ll keep my phone on from now on, and I’ll go out first thing in the morning and get a better lock.” She started moving toward the door when another knock startled her.

  Sam shut his mouth on whatever angry retort he had been about to slam her with and put his hand out to quiet her. Another knock sounded and a male voice said, “Maintenance.”

  Lila looked at Sam for guidance, and he held a finger to his lips. She nodded and moved closer to him as he indicated. He grasped her hand and pulled her along behind him as he moved into the darkened kitchen. Behind them the man knocked on the door one more time and then the handle started to rattle.

  Lila gasped as Sam covered her mouth with his large hand. Standing behind her, he whispered in her ear so low that it was more of a breath than a sound, “Back door key?”

  With a shaking hand, she pointed to a nail on the side of the kitchen cabinets that held a single key. She could tell that he wanted to fuss at her about the placement but he just reached for it and slowly unlocked the door. Lila couldn’t tell which was louder, the sound of the tumblers slowly falling or the erratic drum of her heart.

  When he finished, she grabbed his forearm and leaned close. “Squeaks,” she whispered, referring to the door. He nodded to let her know he’d heard and then slowly eased it open. From the front room, the sound of metal against metal let her know that someone was trying to open the front door lock.

  A fine trembling came into her limbs, and she felt like her entire vision focused on the front door handle. Gently, Sam took a hold of her shoulders and eased her through the back door to the tiny balcony outside. He stopped and re-locked the door before pocketing the key. The cool concrete beneath her bare feet set her already trembling form to outright shivering.

  Sam looked over the balcony and then cupped her cheek in his big hand. “We’re going to go over the side, okay, sweetheart?” She lifted her hands to his chest and twisted great handfuls of his polo shirt. She shook her head emphatically no. “Yes. Now if I go over first, will you jump down to me?”

  She didn’t even bother to answer that absurd question. He sighed and seemed to review their other options. Before she even could process what was happening, he had turned around and pulled her arms so that they encircled his neck. The height difference between them put her face into his middle back.

  His whisper came back to her. “Put your legs around my waist.”

  Lila wanted to protest, wanted to say that this was ridiculous. He was worrying over nothing. But the scraping sound of the front door opening inside of her apartment had her jumping up and securing her legs around his waist in a flash.

  “Good girl,” he whispered and then made it seem easy to throw his leg over the side of the balcony and climb down the trestle with no sound with a hundred extra pounds on his back. And if the measured rise and fall of his chest under her hands was anything to go by, it was easy.

  Once they hit the ground, he let her slide off of his back and then grabbed her hand again. At his urging, they both ran to the landscaping that served as privacy screening between the apartment buildings. They sat silently crouched in the dirt and the dark as they watched her small apartment.

  Long minutes passed and she had just managed to convince herself that she had been hearing things, that Sam had overreacted, that it really had been maintenance when her back door was busted open and an unfamiliar man walked out onto the balcony.

  She shrank back into Sam as she watched the man jerk open the door to the outdoor storage and then shut it again. He stood with his hands on his hips and surveyed the grassy area, his eyes gliding right past them, before re-entering the apartment.

  Sam leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Can you make it to the car while I go up there?”

  “What?” Lila knew her whisper was loud but she couldn’t regulate it over the beating of her heart. “You can’t go up there.” She clutched at his shirt again.

  He smoothed a hand over her messy hair and pulled her closer. “I’ll be fine, but this is the best chance to catch these guys.”

  Lila couldn’t stop the tears from forming in her eyes. She wasn’t even sure what she was more upset about: being left alone here or Sam going back there. She managed a quiet, “Please,” before a sob broke free.

  With a sigh, Sam thumbed away the tears from her eyes and then peered through the shrubbery. “Okay. Let’s get you out of here.”

  He gently took hold of her hand and pulled her to a standing crouch. Carefully she picked her way through the mulch and rocks without saying a word until they came out into a parking lot on the opposite side of her building. Numbly she looked around the lot, but didn’t see Sam’s usual black truck.

  “Stay here.” He pressed down on her back so that she crouched at the edge of the lot next to a bush as he slunk between the cars. Apparently he found what he was looking for because he quickly came back to get her. He ushered her into the front seat of an older model Camry that she had never seen before.

  He confirmed her suspicions when he slid behind the steering wheel and pulled a tool out of his pocket.

  “Are we stealing this car?” she hissed.

  He nodded as he forced the tool into the ignition key slot. “It’s not like we can just walk out into the front parking lot and take your car or mine. I don’t have any idea how many guys they have with them.”

  “I know…but, stealing,” she said quietly.

  He grinned over at her as the car engine fired to life. “Don’t worry; I’ll bring it back before they miss it tonight.”

  She stayed silent while he navigated them out of the parking lot, ducking down in her seat at his command while he drove them to a busy road. Finally he let her sit up. “Sam, what’s going on?”

  Grimly he shook his head. “It seems like our uninvited visitor was right about at least one thing. Someone is trying to kidnap you.”

  “Are we sure that wasn’t the maintenance guy?” she persisted.

  He made a sound that seemed like a laugh but quickly got it under control. “Maintenance men don’t usually pick locks and bust through back doors. They generally avoid stuff that’s going to make more work for them.”

  Lila didn’t respond. There was some evidence even she couldn’t wish away.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe. Just do as I say.”

  Despite the thanks she undoubtedly owed him, his patronizing tone rankled. “It seems to me that if this
woman hadn’t broken in to Holden’s home, I’d be tied up in the back of some van by now. So pardon me if I don’t put all my eggs in your basket.”

  She watched as his jaw firmed and his hand tightened on the steering wheel. “You need to learn how to do as you’re told. Ten minutes ago you were holding on to me for dear life and now you don’t need me at all. If you had let me go investigate when I wanted to, we could be on our way to getting these guys locked up.”

  Lila gasped. “I’m not a child, least of all yours, so don’t treat me like one.”

  “Then don’t act like one,” he shot back.

  “You and Holden are just alike. Always treating me like I don’t have a brain in my head. Like I can’t make my own decisions.”

  “And tonight proved that wrong how?” he challenged.

  “Are you seriously blaming me for this?” she said, flabbergasted. Despite the seriously aggravating turn of the conversation it felt good to argue with him. Like all of the fear and adrenaline that had been coursing through her finally had an outlet. Fight or flight kicking in.

  And he gave her the argument she was looking for. “No, I’m not blaming you. I’m just saying that you were a little premature in moving out of Holden’s house. He’s just trying to watch out for you and you keep acting like he’s monitoring your every move. I advised him to keep you close but he was worried about your damn feelings.”

  “Oh, my damn feelings. What about your damn arrogance? You think you know everything about me, but you don’t.” She crossed her arms and stared out of the window as he turned into Holden’s subdivision.

  “You’re right. I don’t know everything. Probably because you won’t tell me anything. You just go around, doing what you want without concern as to how it affects others.” He slammed his hand on the steering wheel and made her jump.

  He saw her reaction out of the corner of his eye and put a hand out to her. Instinctively, she shrank back in her seat. “Hey, hey,” he soothed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lost my temper.” She remained silent for a few seconds but accepted the weight of his hand on her knee, letting it comfort her. He was silent too until they pulled into the driveway and he cut off the engine. “Do you want to tell me about it?”