Goddess of Night (Amaranthine Book 9)

by Joleene Naylor

  Though Katelina saw the logic, she was almost grateful when Torina announced they needed to buy “things” for the children.

  Micah parked at a chain store and motioned toward the door. “You have fun with that.”

  Jorick sighed. “I’ll go with you. You’ll need a whisperer to keep people from noticing your…condition.”

  Torina shoved the children on her brother. “We’ll need Katelina. She’ll know what the modern baby things are.”

  “Me? I don’t know much about kids.”

  The redhead fixed her with a pointed look. “You know more than Jorick.”

  She surrendered and they trooped inside. She ducked first into the empty bathroom to wash the dried mess from her hand. Blood flecked her face and clothes. She scrubbed the best she could. When she was clean-ish, she headed out to join the other two.

  Torina cruised through the infant section, frowning over various items. Katelina guessed the tots’ age at roughly a year. They used that to choose diapers and clothes. Torina wanted milk, but Katelina steered her to formula instead.

  “I think they’re old enough to eat baby food,” Katelina said.

  The vampiress loaded up on the tiny glass jars, added blankets, and half a dozen other necessities. As they steered out of the area, Torina stopped to grab a pair of stuffed animals; a bear and a bunny, both made of blue terry cloth. “Children need something to snuggle.”

  The automated checkout was a match for Jorick, so Katelina ran things through. Jorick produced his Guild credit card, they paid, then headed out the door, leaving behind human employees who hadn’t noticed they were there.

  At the hotel, Katelina was happy to seal herself in her room and hide in a long hot shower. Blood swirled pink down the drain. She leaned back under the water. With her eyes closed, she could see the vampire with the slicked back hair, hear the crunch as she punched through his chest, feel his warm beating heart in her hand.

  “Enough!”

  She spoke the word out loud, as if the sound could interrupt her pity party. That’s what it was. She watched Jorick kill—asked him to in some instances—and never balked. But, to do it herself, left her wallowing, as though it meant she’d sunk to their level. Only she was on his level. She was one of them, an equal. If she wanted Jorick to treat her like one, she needed to act like it—and think like it.

  She climbed out, and wrapped in a towel. Before she could get dressed, the door opened. Jorick leaned in. “If you’re finished, it’s my turn.”

  She headed out as he peeled off his shirt, leaving her with a quick flash of his naked back. In the bedroom, she started for the suitcase, then met her eyes in the mirror. Crystal blue, shot through with shades they’d never had before. The eyes of a vampire.

  That was what she was now. No more hiding behind half-finished sentences or mumbled inaccuracies. No more pretending to be human. She didn’t need to, now that her mother was one of them. There was no excuse to hide anymore, not that she’d been hiding for her mom. She’d been hiding for herself, pretending for herself. It was time she got over it.

  “I am a vampire.”

  The declaration felt strange, but freeing, as though a mantle of shadow was lifted from her shoulders. She was a vampire. She drank blood, she burned in the sunlight, and she would live forever, with Jorick.

  Jorick.

  She pictured him standing naked under the stream of hot water, his pale body sculpted perfection of hard muscle and porcelain skin, his dark hair hanging between his shoulder blades, his face tipped up, eyes closed, long lashes on his cheeks.

  Her stomach tightened, and she turned back for the bathroom. She eased the door open to slide noiselessly inside. The shower curtain ruffled slightly. She shifted to see his silhouette through it, arms raised, washing his hair.

  She unconsciously licked her lips as she jerked the curtain aside. He jumped, then laughed. “You surprised me, little one.”

  “You obviously weren’t paying attention,” she teased. “Imagine the great Jorick getting surprised in the shower.”

  “Oh, I can imagine it.” His eyes lit with a mixture of mischief and lust. “Did you need something?”

  She dropped the towel to the floor and climbed inside, tugging the curtain closed behind her.

  He blinked at her. “This is unexpected.”

  “Unexpected or unwelcome?”

  He pulled her naked body against his. “Never unwelcome.” He claimed her lips with a soft low growl and tightened his arms around her. She felt the hard length of him against her leg, growing thicker with each second. Warm heat pooled in her chest, to run down and settle between her thighs. She moaned and ground against him. He broke the kiss and trailed his lips over her cheek and her chin. He met her eyes. She caught her breath to see desire in their dark depths.

  He brushed a strand of wet hair from her forehead, then plunged back, hungry mouth on hers. She returned the kiss with as much as she could muster, all her desire, her longing, her need. She wanted him to know how much she wanted him; needed him. How much she loved him.

  She pulled back to slip her arms around his waist. He crushed her to him, flattening her breasts against his chest. “You can’t escape that easily,” he murmured as he kissed his way back to her mouth.

  “I’m not trying to escape, just making sure you’re good and trapped.”

  He chuckled softly. “Trust me, little one, I couldn’t escape, even if I wanted to. Not that I want to.”

  “I hope not.” Despite her best efforts, her voice cracked. She saw a flash of concern on his face. “No. It’s fine. I’m not…I…” When she couldn’t find the words, she pressed him back against the tiled wall.

  He didn’t bother to hide the smile. “I like this explanation so far.”

  She shushed him. As if to make sure he stayed silent, she took his lips roughly, delving her tongue into his mouth. He moaned into the kiss. She pressed deeper, teasing, savoring. His mouth tasted like copper, like blood, like sex, like life. The flavor enticed her further, made her want him more.

  She broke off and licked her way over his chest, pausing to wipe the water from her eyes. Vision clear, she met his burning gaze.

  Without asking, she bit into his chest. His body tightened, then relaxed as his hot blood flooded her mouth. She swallowed, and disappeared into the taste, into the crimson colored world of desire and pleasure. He was all there was, the feel of him, the taste of him, his body, his lips, his hands, his blood. He was everything and nothing else mattered, nothing but this.

  She lost track of the real world, of the shower, of the press of their bodies, of the cool slick tile and soft perfume of soap. There was only the new reality, the realm of pleasure, the world of their making. She didn’t notice any pain when he pulled her arm to his mouth and bit back, only that the scarlet world expanded to a universe with a thousand points of light. Each ray was a caress; each beam a kiss. She was wrapped in the light of a thousand erotic suns, painting her skin with shadows that only made the ache inside her more intense.

  The points of light swelled, grew larger, engorged like she was, until they exploded. She cried out. As the connection was severed she dropped back into reality. She clutched Jorick, panting, her body shaking. The hot shower poured over her. Water was in her eyes. Her knees were weak.

  Jorick caught her before she fell. She buried her face in his heaving chest, trying to control her breathing. She knew she didn’t need it; didn’t need the oxygen, but the habit was still there.

  She ran over what had just happened. She’d done it. When she bit him it hadn’t been his memories, but something more, something better. For a few moments she’d controlled their connection.

  Hadn’t she?

  “Yes,” Jorick said softly, his hand tangled in her hair. “Yes, you did.”

  When she could stand on her own, she tilted her face up to meet his eyes. As warm as the water running over her, the dark depths offered safety, acceptance, and love, something that had remained th
e same whether she was human or a vampire.

  “I love you,” he said softly. “Not what you are.”

  “And I love you.”

  He cocked his head to one side. “Enough to marry me?”

  “Yes.” The word was out before she had time to think about it. In the seconds that followed she realized what she’d said. He’d asked her to marry him—marry him—and she’d agreed. She’d agreed to marriage.

  She steeled herself for the familiar panic, the weight of the commitment, the severing of all of life’s millions of possibilities. It didn’t come. There was no terror, only warmth.

  When she didn’t speak, Jorick cleared his throat. “You’re sure?”

  “Yes.” The surprise in his eyes was echoed in her voice. “Yes. I’m sure. It’s funny, isn’t it? I’ve spent my whole life terrified of the idea, of being chained, and now…I don’t know. I feel freer than I’ve ever felt before.” Like she’d felt when she finally said the words aloud to the mirror. “I guess that’s crazy.”

  “Not at all. You didn’t want to commit because you were afraid you’d have to give something up, miss out on some amazing possibility, but it was really your terror of commitment that stole your possibilities. Your fears became the very chains you dreaded.”

  Though it made sense, she didn’t want to be analyzed. She wanted to close her eyes, lean against his chest, and listen to his heart beat, knowing she would listen to it every night for eternity.

  Assuming Lilith doesn’t kill us.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  After their bath, Katelina dressed. She pulled her hair back and thought of the style Torina had used on her. The vampiress had been right; she’d looked good. But all that work…

  Thinking of Torina made her wonder how she and the children were doing. After a quick conversation with Jorick, she left to find out.

  She stopped in front of Torina’s door, ready to knock, when she heard raised voices further down the hall. She concentrated until she could hear Zander.

  “Is that what you saw? Did you see the truth in their minds, dream stealer? Tell me!”

  Brandle’s voice was quieter, patient. She oozed closer to hear. “What does it matter? Because they believe one thing and you another?”

  Zander threw out a string of foreign words, then added, “The truth matters! What is the truth?”

  “Who can say? I’d have to see in Lilith’s mind for that. Even if I could, it’s a place I wouldn’t go. That she’s passed herself off as the Night Goddess…Yes. That is true. Was she the original, or did she steal the identity? I can’t say.”

  “Then where did the scriptures come from? Who wrote them?”

  “These are questions for your master.”

  “He’s gone!” There was a crash, then Zander said desperately. “Lilith’s lover, the one we hope to fight beside. He might know.”

  “Samael? Perhaps, but—”

  “Katelina, she is in communication with him? She could ask.”

  Oh God. That was just what she didn’t need.

  She hurried back to Torina’s door and knocked. Torina snapped, “Come!” and Oren opened the door. She hurried inside before he could stop her. To her surprise, he only turned back to his conversation.

  “As I was saying—”

  “I’m done discussing it.” Torina stood at the end of one bed, her arms crossed. The children slept, safely tucked in, tiny hands curled into fists. “You get what you want. It’s time I got something.”

  Oren scoffed. “You don’t know the first thing about children. And human children, no less.”

  “You and Jesslynn managed parenthood. As for them being human, I’m sure Jorick’s pet remembers humanity. She was helpful enough at the store.”

  Katelina realized they were talking about her. “Um…I don’t know that much—”

  “You’ll be fine,” Torina said firmly.

  “No.” Oren held up his hand. “It’s my den .”

  “Fine. I’ll move into my own.”

  Oren choked. “What?”

  “This conversation is over, Oren.” Torina fixed Katelina with a stare. “What did you want?”

  What did she want? Not to be the godmother to Torina’s adopted children, that was for sure. “I wondered how they were doing.”

  “Sleeping, poor things. I’ve named them.” Torina moved to the bed and adjusted the blankets. “Jayleth.” She touched the darker of the pair. “And Paylin.” She patted the brown headed child. Her eyes softened. Katelina felt the rush of affection, the warmth, and a strange longing ache. The desire to scoop the toddlers up and take away everything terrible that had happened to them, to wrap them in blankets of love, to see their smiles, to hear them call her mother—

  Katelina stepped away from the overwhelming feelings. They weren’t hers, but the source was as impossible for her to comprehend. That Torina wanted to keep them as pet Chihuahuas for a while she’d believe, but to play mommy…

  Torina was still talking. Katelina quickly focused on her words “—only bruises. They hadn’t been bitten, until I had to mark them.” She rubbed one’s tiny hand. “I wish I’d had more time, I wouldn’t have left it there. But it is what it is.”

  “You could heal it,” Oren suggested.

  “No!” Torina looked back to them. “No. They’re not old enough for immortal blood. Even a taste might complicate them. Besides, they’ll have to remain marked to satisfy The Guild’s laws.”

  Oren shifted. Katelina thought of his human servants who’d been killed months ago—destroyed because they weren’t properly marked.

  Whether he caught her thoughts, or was looking for an escape, he cleared his throat loudly. “Where’s Jorick?”

  “In our room, reading.”

  Oren made a noise, that might have meant, “I’ll go talk to him because he’s sane,” then showed himself out.

  Torina sat in the nearest chair, legs crossing as if by instinct. “His faith in me is amazing.”

  Katelina stopped from saying she agreed with Oren. Torina as a mother…

  “It’s tiresome,” Torina said. “Everyone decides who and what you are. Nothing you do can break their perceptions. After a while, you start to believe them yourself.”

  Katelina jolted guiltily. Had Torina read her mind? No, she decided, or the vampiress would have said so. That was one thing; Torina wasn’t likely to mince words.

  “I’m tired of it,” Torina went on. “I’m worn out with living up to expectations. As Micah would so eloquently say, ‘Fuck them’. It’s time I did what makes me happy. Oren has moved on with Etsuko. Why should I be trapped?”

  Katelina didn’t know what to say. Still reeling from her own epiphanies, she couldn’t handle someone else’s.

  She realized Torina was waiting for a reply. “Um…I don’t blame you.”

  The redhead tossed her hair. “Don’t worry. You don’t really need to help me. I only said that to shut Oren up. As for moving out, maybe it’s time I did. I’ve lived under the same roof as him since I was born. I’ve always had someone looking over my shoulder, or in my head, analyzing my thoughts. Jesslynn was the worst, but Oren still does it. I wonder what it would be like to have your mind all to yourself?”

  “I wouldn’t know anymore.”

  “No, Jorick’s worse than Jesslynn, I’m sure.”

  “He wasn’t at first, not until after the Linking. During it he could hear all my thoughts. I guess he got used to that, and took it for granted it was open season from then on.”

  “He got comfortable with you,” Torina said. “Before that he was afraid of what he’d find; that you didn’t truly want him, or that you were secretly afraid of him, or that you were still in love with what’s-his-name. Once he got in there and discovered his fears were foundless, he was fine with treating you like everyone else. I almost hope you become a powerful mind reader. It would serve him right.” She chuckled at some imagined scenario.

  A knock came at the door. Torina motioned Kate
lina to handle it. Her first impulse was to say, “Do it yourself,” but she was on her way out. It would be a good excuse to escape.

  She looked through the peephole to see Verchiel dressed in fresh clothes, his wet hair gelled at the usual odd angles.

  “Helloooo,” he called.

  “Oh, it’s him.” Torina leaned back in the chair. “Tell him to go away.”

  Katelina readied to do that, when she heard another door open. She shifted to see Jorick stalk down the corridor, his face a thundercloud looking for a target. Verchiel gave him a smile so fake she could see through it.

  “Why are you still here?” Jorick demanded.

  “Where else would I be?” the redhead asked.

  “With the rest of them.”

  Torina moved to join Katelina at the door, her eyes glittering with curiosity.

  Verchiel stepped back. “It’s interesting. Until a few weeks ago you were one of them. Now you act like they’re the enemy.”

  “Aren’t they? That Jamie would talk Katelina into—”

  “Jamie didn’t talk Katelina into anything. We both know she already felt that way. You’re just mad because you can’t control her.”

  Katelina gritted her teeth. How dare he drag her into this as a distraction. The issue was him—not her. She went for the doorknob, but Torina caught her hand and whispered, “Let them fight it out.”

  Jorick growled. “I’m not trying to control her; I’m trying to protect her!”

  “From this angle, your protection looks like chains.”

  “They would to you.” Jorick sneered. “But I’m not holding her back from you, if that’s what you think. She’s where she chose to be.”

  Verchiel’s reply was cold. “I never said she wasn’t. I think it’s interesting how much you fear me.”

  Jorick pressed his face near the redhead’s. “I don’t fear you!”

  “Of course you do. You’re afraid I’ll trick her and take her away. If I wanted to take her, Jorick—really take her—I’d have done it a long time ago. I’ve had plenty of opportunities. And there was a point where she might have come.” He leaned forward, stretching until his nose was barely two inches from Jorick’s. “Once she did, I could have filled her so full of my blood she forgot you ever existed. But I didn’t. I didn’t even try. I’ve let you posture, let you play the macho protector to impress her, but it ends. You’re not better than me. If you’re calling the shots, it’s only because I let you. You take my casual attitude for weakness. It isn’t. It’s because I don’t care most of the time. But let me remind you, I’m every bit as much an Executioner as you, from the same bloodline. If it comes to it, I will do what needs to be done. Are we clear?”