His Secret Child

by Jordan Silver

  The later pictures showed the deterioration, and I felt a tear in my heart. I haven’t even held her yet and I was ready and willing to lay down my life for her. I didn’t have time to dwell on the strength of that love for someone I didn’t even know existed just a few short hours ago.

  “I could kill you for this.” My voice was so low, so calm, it scared even me there for a minute.

  “If anything happens to her I will make you suffer in ways you can’t even begin to contemplate.”

  The words though softly spoken held a fuck load of venom. Maybe that’s why they carried more punch, and why she lost all the color in her face, but said not a word.

  I called my mother and gave her a quick rundown of what was going on.

  I didn’t quite understand her reaction or why she kept asking me where Zania was. Nonetheless I had just told her that she had a grandchild and maybe that had thrown her for a loop.

  “What about Camille, have you spoken to her about this?”

  “Mom, I don’t see why I should, you’re the only one who seems to think that I owe her any kind of explanation for my life.

  I just told you-you have a granddaughter who is seriously ill and this is what you want to talk about?”

  “Well son, you know how I feel about things like this. I guess we’ll have to get the solicitors on the ball to have the blood tests done, discretely of course.”

  “What are you talking about? Mia is mine there is no doubt. I was just calling you so that you won’t worry when I don’t show up for dinner later. Now I have to go.” I didn’t wait for her response, just hung up the phone in time to see the look of pain or fear on this one’s face.

  “What the hell is wrong with you now, a guilty conscience? Are you just now realizing what you’ve done? How you’ve robbed my parents of their only grandchild for five years, and now she’s sick?”

  That infuriating silence of hers was going to get her ass slapped again. Where the fuck did she get off anyway?

  “When I ask you a question, I expect an answer. The person you once knew is no more. What you see in front of you, I guess you can say is a creation of your own making. Now what the hell was that look about?”

  She bit her lip and looked for an escape, but there was none. I’d overlooked the fact that we would be enclosed together, thousands of miles in the air, for the next three and a half hours. What was to stop me from strangling her ass and dumping her somewhere?

  Not even when she first left me did I harbor such vicious thoughts. No, like the dupe she’d made me for, I’d believed something had happened to her.

  I’d spent months searching with what little information I had to find her, believing the worse, until others had to rip the veil from my eyes and show me the truth.

  That the girl I thought existed was just an enigma. It was only then I’d learned of her true nature. Of the conniving, little money grubbing bitch, that I’d let into my bed and my heart.

  I glared across at her now, even as she did everything to avoid my eyes. “Maybe you’re right, maybe it’s best that we don’t have too much to say to each other, or I might be tempted to cut the lies from your throat.”

  I saw just a little spark of something in her then at my threat, but it was gone before it had a chance to ignite.

  I turned my attention back to the pictures as the attendant announced the taxiing of the jet. “Buckle up.” Her hands were still shaking when she reached for the seatbelt.

  I took the time to really study her now and as much as it pained me to admit, I didn’t like the way she looked, sick and worn.

  Her beauty was still there, no question. My Zania has the kind of beauty that transcends time.

  Her smooth baby soft skin is without the slightest blemish. Cupid bow lips, with the softest hint of raspberry pink that tinges them naturally.

  And an abundance of red hair that always makes me think of her riding me, while that wild mane of hers covers me.

  But beneath the beauty she looked drawn as if she too has been ill. My Zania, am I really still such a sap? Perish the fucking thought.

  “Are you sick?” She shook her head at me but kept her head down.

  “Look at me when I’m talking to you, and cut out the shy little girl act, I’ve already seen the play remember?”

  “Cord, I know you’re angry and you have every right to be, but can I ask, no beg, that you take it easy. It’s only that, I’ve had a hard few weeks here lately, and I don’t think I can take anymore.”

  “And whose fault is that? It was your idea wasn’t it, to run off with my kid inside you, like a fucking thief?

  What I wonder, would’ve happened had Mia not become ill, would I ever have heard of the child? Were you ever planning on introducing us? Or were you going to use her as a pawn in your get rich fast scheme?”

  “I’m not what you...”

  “Save it, you’re exactly what I think you are. And in case you’ve missed it, I hate you. The only reason you’re still breathing is because I want to make sure there’s nothing that you can do for my child.

  If there’s anyway on earth that they can use part of you to save her I don’t want to risk murdering you before then. But make no mistake I am going to make your life a living hell.

  So pray, save your lies and half truths for someone else, but pray that my kid doesn’t suffer anymore or your days are fucking numbered.”

  I saw the tears gather in her eyes, but didn’t watch long enough to see them fall. I could give a fuck about her fake tears or anything else about her at this point.

  ***

  She actually fell asleep halfway through the flight, guilty bitch. Still, with all the anger and hatred running around inside me for her, now that all was quiet and my rage was somewhat contained, I felt my body’s reaction to her nearness.

  It had been there the whole time I was threatening her, in fact I’ve been hard since she came to my fucking office. It’s the weirdest fucking thing, but she’s always had that affect on me.

  I use to think it was because she was the one woman that was made for me. No other woman has ever affected me this way before or since. None ever even came close, or ever would I’m afraid.

  That thought brought me back to Camille. I guess this seals the deal so to speak. I might’ve been lassoed into marriage before, at her and my mother’s bequest, because I didn’t really give a fuck one way or another at this point.

  But Camille is the most selfish person I know. I won’t have her anywhere near my daughter, so there goes that.

  It was easy to make that decision, because in the last couple of hours, my life has been taken over by this one little being that I had yet to meet.

  First I have to help her kick this illness, which I refused to let myself think of any other outcome, and then it was going to be her and me.

  I found myself feeling the way I did as a kid on Xmas or my birthday. When I knew there was going to be something extremely good waiting for me under the tree, or on my bed when I get home from school.

  With my thoughts flitting around like a moth around a flame, I too rested my head back and closed my eyes for a brief reprieve.

  I was wound too tight to actually fall asleep, but at least I could give my brain a rest. It has been going like a hamster on a wheel since she’d dropped her little bombshell.

  I had to shake her shoulder when we landed because she was really out of it. I hated that she awakened the way she always did. Soft and cuddly; like the most innocent of beings. Bitch.

  “We’re here; let’s go.” I didn’t give her time to wipe the sleep from her eyes before I was dragging her out of the seat.

  Now that we were here I was in an all fired hurry to go. Mia was at home with her grandmother, which meant she wasn’t too ill to travel. The doctor had explained that the little girl had good days and bad.

  On a good day she was a little weak and needed to stay close to home, on a bad day she needed the hospital.

  Broke my fucking heart,
but there’ll be time enough to deal with that shit later, right now I wanted her in my arms, needed to see and feel her to reassure myself that she was still here; that I hadn’t lost her before I’d gotten a chance to know her.

  I had a car waiting for us as soon as we got off the plane. Leaving her to make her own way again I got in and slammed the door. “Where to?”

  She leaned forward and gave the driver the address through the open window, before sitting back in her seat.

  “I know that you hate me, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t say anything negative in front of my grandmother or Mia.”

  “Fuck you.” I didn’t even look at her when I said it, how dare she? Did she really think I gave a blue fuck what she wanted or didn’t want? Could she really imagine that I cared about her one way or another? If she did, then she is more fucked in the head than I am.

  “Are you sure this is the right place sir?” The driver’s voice came through the speaker since I’d already closed the partition window.

  One look out the window showed me why he was asking. The neighborhood didn’t exactly look like the kind of place a man of my wealth would frequent, unless he was looking for some illegal action.

  “If you tell me this is where you’ve been raising my child I think I really will strangle your ass.”

  “It’s a few blocks over, it’s not that bad. Gran lived here for almost thirty years and....”

  “Save the family history, I’m not interested.” I was back to being fully steamed. There were boarded up houses and lots with trash blowing about in the wind.

  People stood around on the corner looking shady, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out their trade. The more I saw, the angrier I became.

  We pulled up in front of a two story wooden house painted bright yellow. Granted it wasn’t in as bad a shape as some of its neighbors, but it was nowhere near the caliber suitable for a Helmsworth.

  “You just earned yourself ten more strikes.” She had no idea what I was talking about of course, but from the wary look she threw me, I knew she got the idea.

  I was a nervous wreck while I stood there as she fished the keys out of her bag. Now that I was here I felt out of my depth, never a good thing for me.

  How would Mia react to having a father? Will she be happy to see me? Will she be happy about coming home with her daddy? Or would she call me something else?”

  The house seemed well kept if a little worn on the inside. There were flower patterns on the walls, in the curtains, even on the rug on the floor.

  The place had a scent to it as well, not musty but...sick. It had the smell of illness about it and I felt my heart squeeze. She wasn’t staying here a minute longer.

  Thank heavens I’d told Geoffrey to be ready to take us back in an hour. The faster I got her back, the sooner we can get started on getting her better.

  Zania led me down the hallway calling for her grandmother as we went. “Can you have your little family reunion later? I want to see my daughter.”

  She did a little heavy sighing, shoulder lifting thing, but had the good sense to keep her tongue behind her teeth. If she thought for one second I was going to let up on her because we were here now, she was mistaken.

  She tiptoed to a door that was slightly ajar and peeked in. I looked over her shoulder into the room and eased it open a little farther.

  There on the bed was a little bundle. She looked so small lying there, with a mound of pillows around her and balloons tied to the bed.

  The room looked like a different world compared to the rest of the house. I could see that someone had gone to a great deal of trouble to brighten the place up for the sick little girl.

  I walked over to the bed slowly, not giving her time to tell me I couldn’t. The old lady was asleep in a chair next to the bed and she stirred when Zania walked over and touched her shoulder.

  They whispered a few words to each other, but I didn’t hear and wasn’t interested. I only had eyes for my little Mia.

  She was asleep, but even in repose I could tell that the picture didn’t do her justice. She was my carbon copy. I felt the hitch in my heart again as I lowered myself to the edge of her bed.

  “Can I wake her?” I kept my voice low and my eyes trained on her as I addressed her mother.

  “Yes, it’s okay. I’ll gather her things...” She started to move across the room, but I stopped her with the harsh coldness in my voice.

  “No, I’ll get her everything she needs.” It burnt a hole in my gut that my child had lived in such misery all this time.

  I was feeling mean enough to want to blame her for the illness, but I knew that wasn’t true and wouldn’t be fair, though I could give a free fuck about being fair.

  “There’re some things that she won’t be able to do without, like her baby blanket, and her stuffed bear.”

  “Bring them by all means, but I’ll be getting her all new clothes. Heaven knows what kind of rags she’s used to wearing.”

  “I did the best I could.” Her grandmother was following this little byplay without a single word. I didn’t care about her either.

  “You’d better quit while you’re behind.” I turned back to Mia and woke her as gently as I could. I felt her forehead to make sure that the warmth was just from her lying in bed, and was satisfied that she was cool to my touch.

  Her little eyes opened on mine and as the sleep cleared I saw the look of surprise on her face. “Daddy?”

  My head turned swiftly to her mother. “How...”

  “I told her about you, she has a picture.” She pointed to the picture of the two of us in happier times that sat on the nightstand. That shit gave me a jolt and confused the fuck out of me. What the fuck?

  This shit wasn’t making any sense, why would she tell our child about us, but keep her hidden from me?

  I wasn’t sure if I should be grateful or not. What did my child think of me leaving her here alone all this time? “What did you tell her?”

  The words were gritted out between my teeth. I might not mind putting the fear of thunder in her and her grandmother, but I was not about to hurt Mia.

  Before she could answer, my daughter clutched my hand and tried to pull her little body up into a seated position.

  I helped her by sitting closer and pulling her up into my arms. She was so tiny I could feel the bones in her back and arms as I wrapped one of mine around her.

  We stared at each other for what seemed like forever before her little hand came up to touch my face.

  She was so innocent it hurt. The doctor had given me a brief overview of what she was dealing with and as I sat there I wished there was some way that I could take the illness away from her.

  She was too young and too pure for something like this. I felt the anger rise up again and tamped it down, but I did send Zania a look that had her taking a step back and clutching at her throat.

  That’s right bitch, be very fucking afraid. I lifted Mia from the bed and laid her head on my shoulder as I wrapped her up in the blanket from the bed.

  I left Zania to explain things to her grandmother and left the room without once having acknowledged the old woman.

  It was very poorly done of me, but at the moment I wasn’t trying to score points for etiquette, so quite frankly I didn’t give a fuck.

  Mia was back asleep by the time we reached the car and I sat with her on my lap. I was giving her mother exactly five minutes before I tell the driver to move on.

  She didn’t know that, but she should. She must’ve gathered as much because she came hustling down the steps two minutes later, still calling goodbye to the old woman who came out long enough to glare towards the car and me I guess.

  Mia lifted her head and reached for her mother’s hand when she joined us. “Look mommy it’s daddy.”

  Her little voice though weak was full of excitement. I squeezed her closer and kissed her little head that smelt of flowers and youth.

  They held hands all the way back to the airfiel
d while I pretended that the mother didn’t exist.

  “I can take her.” She offered when the car came to a stop, just feet from the jet. The look I gave her had her back pedaling fast, but I changed it fast enough so that little Mia didn’t notice it when she looked up at me.

  Was she always this trusting? Or was it because she knew that I was her father? I still didn’t know what her lying ass mother had told her about me, but whatever it was, couldn’t have been all that bad, since the child was clinging to me without fear.

  I lifted her out of the car and headed up the stairs to the open plane door, leaving her mother to follow as she pleased.

  I wasn’t aware before now that it was possible to be immensely happy and overly pissed off at the same time, but I now found myself in that position.

  Mia’s little eyes were wide with excitement since it was her first time on a plane and she had a million and one questions.

  “And daddy what’s this for?” She did that so effortlessly; call me daddy. Like she wasn’t mad at me for being absent from her life all these years.

  No, she acted more as if I’d just been gone on a trip or something for a very long time and was just now returning. Her acceptance humbled me, and my heart opened a little bit more to make room for this child of mine.

  I don’t think I’ve ever been as aware of my heart as I have been in the last few hours. It’s been through the gamut that’s for sure: from the highs of closing the deal, to the shock of seeing her bitch of a mother, and now this.

  Her soft weight against my chest brought tears to my eyes, and I admit for the first time since I can remember, I didn’t know quite what to do with myself.

  “How are you feeling Mia, do you hurt anywhere?” She shook her little head no, and laid it back against my chest. She kept my hand clutched tightly in hers as if she was afraid to let go. Daddy’s not going anywhere little baby girl, not ever again.

  “Where are we going daddy?” Her voice was small and quiet.

  “Home, your new home, where you’re going to live with me from now on.” I heard the sharp inhale of breath from the bitch across from us but chose to ignore her ass.