The Road to Hope

by Rachael Johns

  ‘Um…all right,’ she lied, not wanting to burden him with her Whitney and Ellie woes.

  ‘Sounds just like mine and I could do with a drink. What do you say?’ He held up two bottles of beer. ‘Can I tempt you?’

  She should decline. Lord knew she needed to keep her head around Tom, but she hadn’t had a cold beer in forever and she suddenly craved one almost as much as she craved him.

  ‘Why not?’ she said, placing the pie tin down on a cooling rack. ‘And I hope you’re hungry.’

  ‘Famished.’ He cracked open the beers and held one out to her while taking a long gulp of his. ‘Ahh, that’s better,’ he sighed after the first mouthful. ‘Now, can I help you with anything?’

  Accepting the beer, Lauren shook her head. ‘I’ve got it all under control.’ She turned to fetch the plates and lay the table. ‘Was that ambulance sirens I heard earlier?’

  ‘Yep. There was an accident on the highway. A couple travelling to Perth from Albany. They got there in the end, just not the way they planned.’

  Lauren paused. ‘Are they okay?’

  He shrugged. ‘The man should be, but it’ll be touch and go for his wife.’

  ‘Oh God.’ Lauren pursed her lips together. She should have been immune after the number of accidents she’d dealt with, but such tragedy was always a shock to her system. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘I’ll cope.’ He took a swig from his bottle and then gestured to the tart sitting in the middle of table. ‘That looks great and it smells unreal.’

  She couldn’t help but grin at his compliment. ‘I thought it was about time I cooked for you. I hope you don’t mind that it’s vegetarian,’ she added apologetically. For a few brief moments in the supermarket that afternoon, she’d contemplated buying mince—he’d been so kind to her and she’d wanted to do something special for him—but in the end, she hadn’t been able to follow through.

  ‘Not at all. Did I mention two of my sisters are vegetarian?’

  ‘No. Really? How many sisters do you have?’

  ‘Three,’ he said as she started serving their lasagne.

  No wonder he was so good with women, she thought, thinking of the way he sweet-talked the old dears at the hospital. ‘Older or younger?’

  ‘One older, one younger and one the same age.’

  ‘You’re a twin?’ She passed him a plate with a large serving of tart, being careful not to let her fingers brush his in the interaction. Small talk about family was safe. Accidental touching was most definitely not.

  ‘Yep.’ He nodded, seemingly proud of this fact as he picked up his knife and fork.

  ‘What’s this twin of yours like?’ Lauren asked, starting to pick at her dinner but immensely curious about Tom’s family. ‘I always wished I had a sister.’

  He grinned. ‘And I always wished I had a brother.’

  ‘Trust me—’ she glanced at a picture of Frank on the fridge ‘—they are overrated. The only thing Frank was good for was eating my leftovers. Oh, and delivering me nasty surprises.’

  ‘Hey, who are you calling nasty?’

  She laughed. ‘Not you, I was talking about the pranks he used to play on me when we were kids. He got the biggest joy from finding the most disgusting things and leaving them in my bed.’

  ‘Yep, that sounds like the Frank I know and love.’ He grinned. ‘Okay, sisters are probably marginally better, but only just. My twin, Monica, and my older sister, Caroline, used to force me to play mummies and daddies with them and then when they got bored with that, they’d pretend I was a supermodel and they were my hairdresser and make-up artist.’

  She snorted, covering her mouth just in time to stop the sip she’d just taken spurting all over the table. ‘I can just imagine you all dolled up.’

  ‘I look pretty damn fine in a dress, even if I do say so myself.’

  She laughed and the evening continued in this carefree manner, dinner slowly devoured between snatches of easy conversation. Lauren couldn’t recall a time when she felt so relaxed around a member of the opposite sex. It was actually quite liberating not to be thinking about how to impress him, to know that the evening wouldn’t end with him taking off her clothes.

  Ironically, she learnt more about Tom than she knew about most of the men she’d dated: about how his dad, also a doctor, taught him to surf; that when he was a child he’d had an irrational fear of chickens; and that he got the Home Economics award in high school. Having tasted the fruits of his cooking, she wasn’t surprised by this last snippet of information. He was an all round competent guy.

  When their plates were empty and the dishes all loaded into the dishwasher, Tom suggested they watch a movie.

  She was on early shift again tomorrow and should probably have said no, but she was having too much fun and didn’t want the evening to end. When she was with Tom she forgot about her Whitney, Flynn and Ellie woes. ‘What movie?’ she asked, raising an eyebrow.

  ‘What have you got?’

  ‘How about I make us some popcorn and you go through into the lounge room to take a look?’

  ‘Deal.’

  Tom thanked the Lord for Lauren as he trekked through to the lounge room to investigate her DVD collection. Hanging out with her had helped take his mind off the draining conversation he’d had with his mother and the stressful scene in A&E that afternoon. As the only GP in a small country town, he was always on call, so one beer was his limit—even though he’d felt tense enough to down a whole damn carton. But an hour in Lauren’s easy company had proved a much better tonic than any amount of alcohol and he wasn’t ready to say goodnight just yet.

  To the sound of her clattering pots in the kitchen, he bent to open the DVD cabinet. There proved to be two distinct categories—romantic comedies and horror movies. If this were a date, he’d definitely pick one of the scary movies—not just because he preferred them to chick flicks, but because everyone knew the way to win a woman was to hold her hand while she screamed in terror.

  But this wasn’t a date and the last thing he wanted was to set up a situation where either of them might feel tempted to act on the attraction between them. He wanted to help Lauren feel better about herself, not do something that might take away from her already low self-esteem. Although she was one of the hottest women he’d ever laid eyes on, he’d promised himself after their raw conversation the other night that he would be on his best behaviour.

  What he really needed was an action flick like The Fast and the Furious or something funny like The Hangover. The type of movie he’d watch with Frank—the type that would help remind him of their status as friends.

  ‘So what’s it going to be?’ Lauren asked, coming into the room with a huge bowl of popcorn in her arms.

  Not wanting her to think he’d been dithering, he grabbed the nearest DVD and hoped for the best, holding it up to her without looking at it himself.

  ‘The Notebook?’ She screwed up her pretty little nose.

  ‘What’s wrong with The Notebook?’ he asked, turning the cover to look at it. ‘My sisters raved about this movie when it came out.’

  She shrugged. ‘Oh, it’s a fabulous movie. I could watch it a hundred times over. I just didn’t imagine it was the type of thing you’d like.’

  He gestured behind him towards the DVD cabinet. ‘Your selection is pretty slim. I’d probably prefer a James Bond or Star Wars, but I’m an open-minded bloke. I’ll give this a shot.’

  ‘Frank took all the Bond movies, along with his Star Wars collection, Indiana Jones and Lord of the Rings trilogy when he left. I can’t say I’ve missed them.’ She placed the bowl down on the coffee table and then took the DVD from him. ‘Go grab the box of tissues from the kitchen. We’ll need every last one.’

  He doubted that. The last time he’d cried while watching a movie he was five years old and Dumbo had just been separated from his mum, but he fetched the tissues anyway. When he returned, Lauren was already sitting on the couch, the popcorn bowl beside her and a vacant spot
for him on the other side.

  ‘Take a seat,’ she said, aiming the remote at the television. He thought about turning off the lights, then thought better of it and took his spot on the couch instead. She pressed play, and as the opening scenes flashed on the screen they both went for the popcorn at the same time. He tensed as his hand brushed up against hers—her skin soft and hot all at once—and he pulled it back, looked up and smiled. ‘After you.’

  He saw her chest rise and fall and recognised the heat in her eyes because it was exactly the same as his. They might be quite good at playing friends but that didn’t mean the sexual tension had abated. It was slowly simmering beneath the surface, reminding him of exactly what he would never have.

  ‘So, what’s this movie about?’ he asked, waiting until she’d taken a handful of popcorn before quickly grabbing one of his own and shoving it into his mouth.

  ‘Well, it’s set in a nursing home, but it jumps back and forth between the past and present day. It’s about two soulmates who fall in love when they are young but come from opposite sides of the tracks…’

  And thus began Lauren’s commentary that barely let up from the start until near the end of the movie. He wouldn’t have picked her as one of those people who talked all through a movie and he wondered if she was creating conversation to avoid any more uncomfortable moments.

  He relaxed into the couch, eager to share one of her favourite movies, but the calmness didn’t last long before Tom realised he was in for one very soppy ride—and not in a good way. When the leading lady started shouting she was a bird as she ran through the waves, he glanced wistfully at the DVD cabinet, wishing he’d picked How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days. He’d watched that on a flight once and it had been pretty funny. Or Love Actually, which was romantic in a warts-and-all kind of way. But this was not the kind of movie he wanted to see in his current frame of mind.

  The film’s theme was apparent within a few scenes. An old woman in a nursing home has lost her memory and can’t remember the love of her life. The hairs on the back of his arms rose and he racked his brain for an excuse to head to bed. But he was the one who’d suggested a movie, so Lauren might get suspicious if he piked now. He’d just have to grin and bear it.

  ‘Aw.’ About a third of the way through, she sighed and pressed her hand against her heart. ‘This scene gets me every time. It’s what I want for myself, you know. I want to meet someone who sparks that kind of passion in me. I want to be able to fight with someone like that because they matter more than anything to me, and I to them. Know what I mean?’

  ‘I guess.’ He thrust his hand into the popcorn bowl only to find it was empty. Dammit.

  ‘Is that what it was like with your ex?’ she asked.

  He swallowed his bitter response that this story wasn’t real, that this kind of love and passion didn’t exist in real life. But that was a lie. His parents lived it every day, and when he’d met Lisa he’d hoped they would it achieve as well. ‘I thought so for a while, but it didn’t last.’

  ‘Did she break up with you, then?’

  He found some comfort in her sceptical tone. ‘Yep,’ he said, feigning nonchalance. ‘Some women don’t know a good thing when it’s sleeping right next to them.’

  She sighed. ‘And quite a lot of men.’

  Lauren seemed content to leave her interrogation at that, and although talking about the demise of his longest relationship wasn’t in his top ten ways to spend an evening, Tom would have chosen it over watching the rest of The Notebook. Anything had to be better than the pain that twisted inside him as he watched Noah read their love story to an ailing Allie.

  Lauren’s commentary waned as the movie drew closer to its end and the tragedy of the characters’ romance became clearer. Tears barrelled down her cheeks and she cradled the box of Kleenex in her lap, tearing the tissues out at a rate of knots. And it was taking everything out of Tom to keep from turning into a sobbing mess as well. A year ago he’d have sat through this chick flick under amused duress, wondering why women got so worked up over people who didn’t even exist. But now it felt cruelly close to home.

  He was so lost in his thoughts that he only just heard Lauren speak.

  ‘I think this affects me so much because of the people I work with.’ She reached for another tissue, failing dismally in her efforts to keep her cheeks dry. ‘Noah and Allie remind me so much of Alf and Nancy, don’t you think?’

  He opened his mouth to speak and found a lump of emotion stopping him. He tried to swallow, but it wouldn’t budge. He thought about the raw pain he’d heard in Alf’s voice when he spoke about Nancy, but it wasn’t the plight of his patient and her husband that threatened to unravel him. Now when he looked at the screen he didn’t see Noah and Allie’s faces but rather those of his own mum and dad. He couldn’t bear to think of the hardships that his parents and his family would face in the years ahead.

  He tried again to open his mouth and utter some words of agreement, but a gut-wrenching sob escaped instead.

  Lauren, oblivious to what had caused this sudden show of emotion, laughed and thrust her box of tissues towards him. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t think any less of you because of this. In my opinion, real men cry.’

  He scowled good-naturedly at her, hoping she couldn’t tell just how much this movie had affected him. ‘That’s nice, Lauren,’ he said, recovering himself slightly, ‘but if you tell anyone about this, I’ll have to kill you.’

  ‘My lips are sealed.’ And, as she leaned closer to him so that they could share the tissues, the tantalising smell of her fruity shampoo and conditioner wafted under his nose. Muscles all over his body once again tightened as he fought the intense desire to get closer. To slide his fingers up into her silky hair and draw her face to his.

  He shifted in his seat. Maybe The Notebook had been a good choice after all. Without it, he might not have remembered how imperative it was that he keep his hands off her.

  Chapter Thirteen

  A week later, Lauren smiled at Tom as he walked into the hospital treatment room. He’d been in town almost three weeks now, and she was getting used to having him around. Not only was he a lot nicer on the eye than Hannah Bates, he was also fun and easygoing to work with. Competent and thorough, he had a way of making both his colleagues and his patients feel at ease. He made every person he dealt with feel like the centre of his world, taking the time to get to know what worked for them as if he cared about them on an individual level. Lauren wasn’t the only nurse a little taken with him, and Barbara and May had been making up ailments to get his attention.

  ‘Morning, Lauren.’ He tossed her his potent grin and then transferred his attention to the little girl on the examination table. Although they’d been swimming laps together only hours before, she was still happy to see him.

  ‘And who do we have here?’ he asked.

  ‘This is Annabel James,’ Lauren replied, taking the six year old’s hand and giving it a calming squeeze. ‘She’s here for her allergy shot.’

  Tom squatted slightly, lowering himself to Annabel’s eye level. ‘Good morning, princess. How are you today?’

  The little girl stared back at him warily. Lauren hoped Tom could cope with loud noises because Annabel had a scream on her that could give a banshee a run for its money. She had her allergy shot against bee stings once a month and generally opened her mouth the moment the needle came out, only stopping when Dr Bates plied her with jellybeans. Sometimes even sugar didn’t work.

  Annabel snatched her hand from Lauren and folded her arms. ‘Not good.’

  ‘Why not?’ Tom looked surprised. ‘Did your parents put snails in your cereal this morning?’

  ‘No.’ Annabel looked horrified by this possibility.

  Tom frowned. ‘Did they put squashed frogs on your toast?’

  The little girl’s lips twitched at the edges but she shook her head and looked to Lauren as if she wondered who this strange man was. Lauren stifled a smile. Annabel might just be the
one female he wasn’t able to charm.

  He sighed. ‘I bet they gave you something really healthy like Froot Loops.’

  Annabel burst into a fit of giggles. ‘What kind of doctor are you? Froot Loops aren’t good for you.’

  ‘They’re not?’ He pressed a hand against his chest as if in shock. ‘Well, if you didn’t have slugs or frogs or Froot Loops for breakfast, no wonder you’re not feeling good. What did you eat?’

  ‘Weet-Bix, but that’s got nothing to do with why I’m not good,’ Annabel told him, rolling her little eyes. ‘I’m not good because I don’t want to have a stupid needle.’

  ‘Fair enough.’ Tom pushed up his sleeves. ‘I wouldn’t want to have a stupid needle either, but sometimes in life we have to do things to make our loved ones feel better.’

  Annabel tilted her head to one side like a confused but adorable puppy. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Why do you have a needle once a month, Annabel?’

  She shrugged. ‘Because a bee stung me and my face blew up like a balloon.’

  Tom visibly winced. ‘I bet that was pretty scary.’

  She nodded. ‘It hurt so bad I couldn’t even cry.’

  ‘Do you want it to happen again?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘And what might happen if it did and we hadn’t been treating you for it?’ Tom asked.

  ‘I don’t know.’

  Lauren’s heart was in her chest as she realised no one had ever explained to Annabel the seriousness of what might happen if she got another bee sting. No one had given her enough credit to handle it, but Tom did.

  He reached out, took her hand in his and levelled with her. ‘Annabel, if we don’t treat your allergy and you get stung again, maybe far away from help this time, you could die.’

  The little girl’s eyes widened, but she looked at Tom like he was her hero. ‘Our dog died last week.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I bet that made you feel terribly sad.’

  She pushed out her lower lip and nodded.