His bright eyes watched her pacing before him. She only stopped to snarl the last statement at him. He finally nodded, confirming what she already knew.
“How did you do it? By somehow showing Jack he was failing his children by not having a woman around? And look. There is little Lynnie Hayes, all poor and needy, why not hire her?”
She stared him down, waiting for him to validate it. “Well?” she snapped finally.
“Yes. It was my suggestion, but it wasn’t all that diabolical. And it did work out for everyone.”
“And those plans you have for the ranch? You could have laid them out at any point in the last few years. Anytime. Especially after Erin arrived. But no. You waited until you were ready. Until you were done with the status quo of the ranch.”
“I waited until there was a need for it. Until now, there really hasn’t been. I know Erin well enough, but only this fall did I think she’d be open to the suggestion of moving forward with Jack.”
“But it’s all on your timeline. You said you secretly wanted me for three years. Why did you wait so long? Why did you wait three years? I waited five years for Shane because I was too shy and unsure of myself to tell him what I thought I felt. But you? You don’t have one shy thought or feeling. We all mistook your quiet demeanor as being shy. No, you know exactly what you want, and you decide exactly when you get it. You always get it too, I’ll bet.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “You were with one loser after another for the last three years. There were eight, in case you never counted. Eight smug assholes I had to watch groping you while I figured out how to make you see I was the better choice, not my brother.” He shook his head and added quietly, “And I never thought I’d get you.”
“I don’t believe you. I think you always get what you want. You have to control it all, don’t you? When and how and what happens? You control all that. I wanted to get out of here since I graduated high school, and suddenly now, my father crazily has the money for me to do so? He magically can afford to send me off to school? I’m not stupid, Ian. I know where his money is coming from.”
She shook her head and tears filled her eyes, some trickling over her lids. She slapped at them, annoyed.
He started to step towards her. “It was not my intention to make you cry. Why can’t it just be a gift?”
“Because it’s wrong. It’s weird. Boyfriends don’t buy their girlfriends a college education. It’s—”
“What I want to do. It’s my money. I can afford to buy it.” He scowled and acted mad that he had to explain it to her. She shook her head.
“It gives you complete control over me. Just like you have over everything else. What is it, Ian? Your parents died so unexpectedly, so this is how you cope? Controlling everything in the world around you and subjecting everyone to your manipulation? Is that how you protect yourself?”
His jaw tightened and his eyes flashed. He did not like to talk about his dead parents. It was one of several topics he frequently shut down whenever she brought it up. She was shocked when he said simply, “Yes.”
That stopped her tirade dead. Did he just admit to it? She kept her gaze glued on him. He finally turned from her and leaned on the fender of one of Shane’s cars. “I like to know what’s coming. I’m good at making things happen. So I do it. I have a lot of patience. But it’s never been paired with the connotation you’re giving it.”
He took in a breath and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the shop’s floor. He didn’t look at her. “I was out in the south pasture, riding a four-wheeler. I came back to the house when I got hungry, wanting dinner. Usually, my mom called us in long before seven o’clock. I found Jack and Lily in there, and Lily was crying. No. She was hysterical. Jack was holding her and rubbing her back and he had tears streaming down his face too. I’d never seen Jack cry before. He was like a superhero to me. Being seven years older than me, he and my dad were the role models I always wanted to be like. They looked alike, they moved alike, they led this place alike. Jack was Dad’s favorite. The only other time I saw Jack cry was when Lily died. Not once, though, while she was sick. I found him crying over her cold, dead body the night she died. I don’t know how long he’d been out there with her. I had to pry him off her corpse. I never told anyone that. He wouldn’t let her go. He and I never discussed it either. So you see, when Erin showed up, and finally realized how Jack felt about her, I did what I could to make them find each other. I still do that. I never intended to hurt anyone.”
Kailynn felt like the car lift behind her had just dumped a Cadillac on her chest. She realized she was holding her breath and immediately released it. She’d never heard Ian talk like that. Never ever. Not for so long, and not so candidly. She stepped forward, but he didn’t look up. He didn’t move a muscle. She’d never seen Ian so vulnerable. Not even when she was raging about them having sex the first time. He’d been unsure around her before, but not like this. Her heart clenched as she pictured a young Ian, running in for dinner after flying over the fields of their farm. She imagined him smiling and happy, probably thinking about how much dessert he could eat.
Leaning down, she took one of his hands in hers, but he didn’t lift his gaze. She stayed kneeling next to him. “Yes, but, Ian, how did you react?”
She saw him peeking at her from the corners of his eyes before his hand tightened on hers. “Jack saw me. He told me to come in and sit down. I don’t remember where Shane and Joey were. I don’t know when they found out, or how they reacted. They were so much younger. But Jack leaned down next to me while Lily tried to quit crying, but she couldn’t. She hiccupped and wiped her face, and finally went to the couch and cried harder. I remember being so scared. I knew it would be bad. I just couldn’t begin to understand how bad it would be. Jack told me straight up. Mom and Dad’s car had been hit head-on by a semi truck. It happened at that corner in front of Angela’s Manor. You know, the little bed and breakfast? There isn’t that much of a corner there. It certainly isn’t a place where anyone should have died. I’ve stopped there so many times since then, trying to figure out how Dad could have hit that semi. How could he not have seen it coming? There was plenty of room on the shoulder right there.”
Her heart twisted as she thought of Ian, alone and unspeaking, sitting in his truck and staring at the small, gentle curve of road that so cruelly ended his parents’ lives. Along with his childhood. Kailynn was sure that not another soul knew that.
“It’s stupid, to be mad at him for not driving better. But I was. I got so mad. I was so confused. And I missed them so much. Lily couldn’t pull herself together after it happened for several months. I’m sure Jack forgot that part. As was his right, after she got so sick. But she wanted nothing to do with us boys, at first. She had Ben to take care of, and Jack was unceremoniously thrust into running this place without any warning. It was a confusing time around here. You know, both sets of my grandparents died before my parents were killed. A few distant uncles are still living in Oregon, but none of them were close to Dad, and Mom was an only child. There was no one left. No adult to take over, that is. Jack and Lily were overgrown teenagers really, just trying to keep their own new family going. They fought a lot then.”
She had no idea about any of this. Jack always spoke about Lily with a pronounced reverence. Until Erin showed up, she was sure Jack would never have dated anyone again. She thought he buried his heart forever with Lily.
“Does Erin know that?”
“I don’t think they talk much about Lily. In her defense, why would she want a barely developing teenager to play mother to? I wasn’t her brother. It was way too much to ask of anyone.”
“You didn’t feel welcome here. You weren’t welcome in your own home.” His stunning revelation revealed more about him than any other tidbit he could have given her.
“I guess I didn’t. No, that’s not true. I knew Jack wanted me here. He goes too far sometimes, trying to keep us here together, almos
t in a time warp. He forgets if Mom and Dad had lived, all of us would have grown up and moved out, and most likely away from here. Nothing would have remained like it is now in a time warp. All that stuff you were saying is probably true. I guess I’ve tried to make sure I never again feel helpless, or pose a burden to anyone. It’s my house, my rules now.”
“Except no one realized that, did they?”
“No. Not really.”
“You even thought you could decide what I should do, and make sure it happens.”
“I was only trying.”
Her cathartic fit of anger instantly fled about two sentences into Ian’s conversation. He still didn’t look at her, so she scooted forward, under his arms until she was between his legs. He lifted his head, surprised she planted herself there. “I looked at your college transcripts. You’re like freaky smart, aren’t you? You graduated with a four-point-oh.”
“You looked through my stuff?”
“Perks of being your housekeeper. Yes. I did. After I learned you had a finance degree, I got curious. And it’s not like you always tell me, now do you? But a four-point-oh?”
He shrugged his shoulders, as if his accomplishment were no more than getting to the dentist on time. She scooted forward and rose up on her knees, putting her arms around his waist. “Did anyone even see you graduate?”
“It wasn’t that important.” She pictured him on the most significant day of most grads. No one was there to congratulate him. No one, probably, even knew he got straight As, and was in the honor program for business finance with a dual major in marketing. He did not minor in marketing, like he modestly told her.
“It was important, Ian. It was important you were still here after your parents died, and what you’ve accomplished is important. And all those new plans you came up with, they naturally come to you, don’t they? It’s easy for you. No big deal.”
He shrugged. “I guess. I just imagine things that make more sense to me.”
Not a soul in the world knew who Ian was. Not even Jack.
“And it makes sense to you that this is how I should leave?”
“Yes.” She leaned her head down onto his thigh. His hand came down and combed through her hair. He let the strands thread through his fingers and fall back on his leg. “I just want you to have the life you deserve.”
“Because no one even noticed what your life was all about.”
“Not really,” he muttered softly. Silence descended between them and when she glanced up, he was staring absently at his hand, still rubbing her hair. She set her hand on his thigh and started to knead her fingers into his leg. His gaze narrowed. She stared at her hand before moving it up his leg to rest on his penis. It pressed back on her hand and his breath hitched with surprise. She lifted her head and leaned forward with both hands before undoing his belt buckle and his jeans. He barely moved. She eventually peeled the jeans back far enough that she could pull his blood-filled member from his underwear. It sprang up in front of her. He shifted enough to let it happen. She glanced up and he kept his eyes fastened on hers. She wrapped her hand around it, sliding along the smooth shaft. His hips shifted towards her instantly. She scrutinized it. Why did she find it so disgusting before? And so ugly? Why hadn’t she ever really touched him? She leaned forward and placed her mouth on the end of it. He drew in a sharp breath and his hands came to her shoulders before running through her hair. She felt sure he didn’t know he was doing it. He messed her hair up as she opened her lips and placed his hot organ into her mouth. It wasn’t how she imagined it in the least.
She didn’t know what she was doing, but his ensuing pleasure instilled her with more confidence than she usually had. She touched her tongue on him and he groaned as she did it again. She shifted on her knees, leaning forward and resting her hands on either side of him so she could tilt her head forward more. She started sliding her mouth up and down slowly. His hips rose and fell with her motions. Her hair was snarled by his hands. He always did everything he could to make her feel good, and to show her all the things she never knew her body could feel. For once, she wanted to do that for him, even if she had no idea exactly how to go about it.
She wrapped her hand around the base of him, finally swallowing him as deeply into her mouth as she could. It was shocking how far that turned out to be. He groaned, which was something he never did. Being a man who rarely articulated his preferences, Kailynn knew this was something he definitely liked. She did it again and again until he suddenly tried to pull her off him. It was way too fast for him. He could usually hold off coming as long as he wanted, or so it seemed. But not this time. The ensuing sense of power and domination Kailynn received from finally controlling his orgasm was almost as heady as the sex. She kept him inside her mouth as he came and some of it trickled down her throat. She didn’t love that part, but she liked making him feel so good. So quickly. He seemed almost helpless to her. His hands stilled in her hair and he moved them to her biceps. Pulling her up against his chest, his mouth descended on hers. His eyes were still closed and he didn’t seem conscious of what he was doing. He kissed her over and over until, quite shockingly, she felt him growing hard against her front again. Her heartbeat began to race. He turned her so her body was against the hood of the car. He skipped all the foreplay and everything. He simply lowered her pants, underwear and all, and lifted her up against the car’s hood before shoving himself inside her. She lay flat against the hood, despite how chilling it felt. But Ian held her hips down as he shoved inside her repeatedly, hard and fast, until she began screaming and clawing at the cold metal. He was standing over her with a sexy gaze that went straight to her core. She came as fast and hard as he had.
He emptied himself inside her and it felt like he was imprinting his mark in her. He leaned over her, his face resting on her stomach, still breathing hard. She lay there nearly panting, and utterly depleted. He eventually caught his breath and pulled her towards him. He wanted to get her off the cold car. He stood up and brought her up with him. As he held her close to him, she became sure she’d never before in her life felt as safe, loved, treasured, or trusted as she did right then.
Of course, nothing was resolved. Except she finally felt like she just might know something important about the man she was falling in love with.
****
True to form, Ian didn’t say anything. They adjusted their clothes and started to exit Shane’s shop. It had become a place she’d never think of again in the same way. She was somewhat surprised she hadn’t scratched the car with her nails. Holding her hand, Ian was locking the door behind him when a voice came up suddenly.
“What the fuck? No. Damn, that had better not have been you.”
She whipped around to find Caleb standing there. He was a few feet back with his hands on his hips, glowering at her, then at Ian. She glanced up at Ian, unsure of what to do.
“Were you…? I thought it was Shane with someone. I—”
Caleb was alternately glancing from her to Ian. Ian’s face tightened at Caleb’s tone and he replied, “None of your business.” Taking a step, Ian tugged her hand to follow him.
“None of my business? You’re in there fucking my little sister, and you think that’s okay? You dirty asshole, how dare you even touch her.”
Before she could see what was going on, her brother began running and tackling Ian. She stood there for a prolonged second in total shock. Caleb had Ian on the ground, and the two were starting to fight. She screamed when her mind eventually caught up to the unnecessary violence she saw before her. “Caleb, stop it! Damn it! Stop!”
Her cries soon brought Jack from the barn and Shane from the front of the house. Erin wasn’t far behind. The two combatants were swiftly pulled apart. Ian jumped onto his feet, blood trickling from his nose as he wiped it on his shirt sleeve.
“What the hell is going on?” This time, it was Shane’s voice.
“He’s taking advantage of my sister. I thought it was you in there. He was… Ah, Jesus m
an, how could you do that to my sister? I thought Shane was the only one I had to keep off her. It never occurred to me that it could be you.”
Caleb was shaking his head. Instead of being hot and bothered, he looked crestfallen as he stared at her and then at Ian. Kailynn stood there looking bewildered.
“You warned Shane to stay away from me?”
Caleb held his arm against his chest and glared hard again at Ian. “I warned off all the assholes you dated. They touch you, and I make them eat their own balls. I was pretty clear on that. I just thought it would have been Shane. Not him.”
She stared with her mouth open at her brother. Never did she suspect he even noticed whom she brought home. Never did he act as if he cared if she stripped and screwed them right in front of him. She could not get her head around the idea that Caleb actually cared so much.
“You’re really serious about this?”
Caleb shifted his face towards her. He seemed to finally see that she was shocked. “Yes, I’m serious. You’re my little sister. You’re so much better than all the riffraff around here. Jordan and me have been making sure that’s clear to all of them.” Caleb didn’t seem to connect that how he lived his life at age twenty-five, was not so different from the riffraff she dated.
She should have been mad. She should have inquired if Ian were all right and apologized. She should have been blushing and embarrassed, since everyone was out there and seemed to figure out what happened: her brother heard Ian and her having sex in Shane’s shop. Instead, she suddenly rushed forward and threw her arms around her brother’s neck. They were within inches of each other so she could do that easily. She put her head on his shoulder, in awe that he cared. Although it was Caleb acting backasswards, it was also his own, personal way of showing he loved her. She was just unaware of it.
River's Escape (River's End Series, #2) Page 24
