He leaned forward and lifted her chin towards him. “Hey,” he said, running his other hand through her hair. He offered her a small, reassuring smile, saying, “You won’t always be a waitress and my housekeeper in River’s End, or for the rest of your life. You just turned twenty-three, so you still have all the time in the world to figure out what you want to do.”
She stared into his eyes as her own eyes began filling with tears, although she didn’t know exactly why. What was he saying about her finding something else? Where did that fit into their relationship? And why did that concern even flash through her brain?
****
Ian accidentally found her college acceptance packet tucked in the bottom drawer of her desk when he was looking for a pen. He pulled it out and stared at it. She filled out the whole thing over a month ago, but never sent it in. He glanced out her open bedroom door. He could hear Caleb giving her a hard time about whatever she was cooking.
She never intended to send it. She believed she couldn’t leave her dad. She also thought she couldn’t afford college. She feared going into debt for college fees when she wasn’t completely clear about what she wanted out of it. Her end goal wasn’t totally determined, so she’d already benched herself, and stepped out of the game. She always backed off from things when she thought she wasn’t good enough. Or deserving.
Ian had no right to do anything except ask her about it. None. It wasn’t his call, or his business.
But he damn well knew she’d never do it for herself. He folded the papers and tucked them into his side before taking them to his truck and hiding them where she couldn’t find them. He suspected she’d hate his interference if she found out.
But he still intended to do it.
He also intended to make sure she made it to college. His heart felt heavy when he realized what he was going to do… the one thing that was the opposite of what he truly wanted.
****
He waited until she was at the café for a long shift. Her brothers were at his house with Shane and her father was the only one at the trailer. Ian entered it without knocking. The ceiling was so low in the dark, gloomy interior, his head nearly brushed the top. It was a small, cramped place that smelled old and mildewy. It was not very pleasant, but especially foul in her dad’s bedroom. He walked to the entrance and tapped on the doorjamb. It was four o’clock in the afternoon and her dad was still in bed with the room darkened. Ian clicked the light on. He didn’t have a lot of patience for Chuck Hayes. Ian felt he’d been burdening Kailynn with his own needs, and it had gone far beyond what he considered reasonable or what she deserved. She cooked, cleaned, and waited on her father and brothers. As well as the rest of the town and the Rydells, in particular. Ian really fucking detested how no one ever helped her.
“Ian? What the hell you doing?”
Ian stepped into the dark, closed-in room and replied, “We need to talk.” He leaned over and picked up a rumpled, discarded sweatshirt, which he threw at Chuck, who struggled to lean against the headboard. He took the sweatshirt to cover his naked, bloated belly and chest.
“What about?”
“Your daughter.” He eyed up Ian, and Ian nodded at his legs. “Meet me in the living room in five minutes.”
Chuck didn’t argue. He didn’t act like the man of the house, since he hadn’t tried to be any kind of role model for his kids in over a decade. “Who died and made you my boss?”
“This involves money. That should motivate you,” he replied coldly before spinning on his foot and going out to wait.
The old man hobbled out ten minutes later and fell dramatically onto the sofa. “Fine. I’m here; what’s all the drama?” He kept huffing and puffing as if the hallway were a mile-long track. “She ain’t pregnant, is she?”
“No.”
“How would you know about that?” Ian bit his cheek. The old man wasn’t as clueless as he pretended. “When did you figure it out?”
“When you were standing in my doorway, wanting to tell me what to do. You being careful?”
“Yes.” Ian didn’t elaborate or drop his gaze from Chuck’s challenging stare. He harrumphed and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Fucking Rydell. What would your father say about you taking advantage of my little girl?”
Ian smiled. “He’d probably say I had good taste.”
“You’re awfully confident I’m not going to go get my shotgun and ram it up your ass.”
“I am, because I’m not one of her loser asshole boyfriends. Why did you let them in her bedroom all these years?”
“She bit the first one who ever even tried anything, now didn’t she? She’s no pushover.” He eyed Ian grumpily. “She didn’t bite you, I take it. So, that’s as good an endorsement as I can get. What do you want, Ian?”
“I want her to be happy.”
“Jesus. You’re not asking for my permission to marry her, are you?”
Ian shook his head. “No. She wants to go to the University of Washington. I just want to make that happen.”
Chuck eyed him. “How?”
“I want to pay for it.”
“Are you for real?”
“Yes. But she will do a lot more than bite me if I suggest that to her.”
“She has more pride than I do. So how you going to accomplish that?”
“I’m going to give it to you; and I want you to convince her that you came into an unexpected amount of money as some kind of settlement for your accident. Or say a distant family member died… something, anything. Then I want you to insist that she go.”
His jaw slowly slackened. “Boy, you don’t dick around, do you? You know how much money you’re talking here?”
“I do.”
“You Rydells have that kind of cash just lying around?”
He shrugged. “Yes. If I want it. I have my own investments.”
Chuck eyed him. “How the fuck does a thirty-year-old farm boy have his own ‘investments’?”
“We all got a big settlement after my parents’ accident. When we turned twenty-one, each of us got our share of it, along with our shares of the ranch. I was a finance major in college. I invested most of mine and it went well for me.”
He whistled. “I had no idea you Rydells were that loaded.”
“Kailynn won’t take it from me. But she will from you.”
Chuck’s gaze skimmed over him. “You know, this will make her leave here. Most likely, she won’t come back. She’s wanted to leave ever since she was a young girl. Why would you provide her with the means to do so?”
“I already told you.”
“As simple and selfless as that?”
“Not selfless. I know the last thing she wants is to be married to a rancher and stuck here. Trapping her here is not my intention.”
Chuck cleared his throat. “That’s pretty decent of you.”
Ian grimaced. “Yeah, I’m a real saint. Now, will you help me?”
Chuck nodded. “I’ll help you. I’ll help her.”
“What you know about us stays between you and me. She’ll figure it out otherwise. And be convincing, or she’ll never go for it.” Ian felt the stab of regret slice through his heart as he stood up and added, “Thank you.”
“I should thank you, Ian, but knowing it gives her an escape from here, makes me kind of fucking hate you.”
Ian replied, “Yeah, well, me too, Chuck.”
Ian walked out of the trailer, his mind slowly devising a plan for how to suggest to Kailynn that she leave him.
****
Looking through her desk, Kailynn couldn’t find her college admission papers. She pulled everything out and spread it on the floor, growing more agitated when she began tearing apart her closet and dresser. Nothing. Where did she put the packet? She started to panic and finally flopped on the floor with all the contents of room spread around her.
“What are you doing?”
She didn’t even look up when her dad came to the doorway. “Nothing,” she replied, sinc
e they were really nothing to her. She just liked to look at them every once in awhile. It gave her a thrill to read the “We’d like to welcome you…” as well as the rush of joy she felt at fitting in someplace besides River’s End.
“Lynnie, why don’t you come out and sit down? I need to talk to you.”
She lifted her head and briefly studied her dad. He looked as unkempt and uncared for as always. His clothes were rarely unwrinkled, and he didn’t bathe as often as she would have liked. But her entire life he had physically been there for her. And though he’d been lazy and kind of uninvolved with the day to day goings on of her life, if worse ever came to worse: he’d be in her corner. She jumped onto her feet and followed him out.
“What’s going on? Are you okay?” she asked his back as he hobbled in front of her. He finally threw himself on the couch with a dramatic sigh.
“I’m the same as always. This is about you. Scoot it, Caleb, and shut the TV off. I need to talk to your sister.” He was frowning at Caleb, who was stretched over the couch while staring at the TV. Caleb didn’t even look up until Chuck finally leaned over and grabbed the remote and switched it off. Caleb glanced over, looking foggy with confusion as if he didn’t know where his father and sister had come from. “What for?”
She wondered the same question. Her father hadn’t shown any interest in talking to her since… well, she couldn’t remember anytime he did. What if he were sicker than she thought? But didn’t she always know when he went to the doctor? She did, since it was almost never. That was partly why his health and mobility were declining. But he refused to do almost anything about it except feel sorry for himself. And a discussion about his health would surely have included both of her brothers, not just Caleb.
“’Cause me and Lynnie need to have a discussion. Now leave.”
Caleb grumbled but got to his feet, scattering crumbs on the floor in front of him. He ambled down the hall and slammed his bedroom door shut behind him.
Her dad and she turned back to each other. Chuck said, “I have a feeling you were in your room, looking for that college stuff, right?”
“Yes. Wait. How did you even know about that?” She eyed up her father, suddenly sure something was really off.
“’Cause I heard Ian talking about it. Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to go there?”
“Ian? You heard Ian talking about me?” On what planet would Ian have ever told anyone about it?
Her dad stiffened and realized she was reacting to that part of the conversation, and nothing else.
“Okay, I didn’t overhear him. He came to me, Lynnie. I’m not supposed to mention his involvement, but you know me too well. I don’t micromanage my kids. If you didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t know.”
No. No one could ever accuse either of her parents of remotely trying to manage her or her brothers in any fashion. But why would Ian go to her father? That made no sense. It was not something he would do. And if he did, why? What would he have to say to her dad? And what did her dad know? “Yes, but why?”
“He’s the man you want, huh?”
She stared at the paisley pattern in the old chair she sat in and threaded her finger along its odd shapes. “What is all this about?”
“Your boyfriend thinks you ought to go to school now that you’ve been accepted. Why wouldn’t you tell me you got accepted to a place like that? Didn’t you know how proud I’d be of you? And don’t you think you should tell me who your boyfriend is?”
She cleared her throat and continued tracing the pattern. “I didn’t know you’d be interested in either, I guess.” Her voice was calm and smooth, but inside, she was fuming at Ian. Why would he speak to her dad so secretly? Why would he tell her dad about them?
“Of course, I’m interested. You don’t think I’d be proud of you? I am. You’ve always been a hard worker. Is that boy good to you?”
She smiled. Ian was thirty years old, not really a boy. She finally nodded. “Yes, he’s very nice to me.”
Her dad grunted. “Well, we will see. He’s a little odd for my taste. But he made some good points. You deserve this. I guess me and your brothers have imposed on you for far too long. We can hardly manage without you, but that really isn’t fair to you.”
“Who else is going to do it, Dad?” she shrugged. Years ago, she stoically accepted her role in the household.
“Jordan and Caleb can start helping. Maybe, I can start doing some things. But I have some money, Lynnie. Enough for you to at least try this college thing. See how you like it. What do you say?”
Her head whipped up to study her dad’s mottled, red face. Money? What money? There was no money. There never had been. Hence, the two jobs she worked. The money she provided was a large chunk of what they lived on. “What exactly are you talking about?” She didn’t even feel a twinge of interest in what her dad was saying. She knew there was no money. And that was just the reality of it. Why fight it?
“I have some tucked away. A rainy day fund. But let’s dip into hit. Let’s help you live your dream.”
“Dad, that’s a ridiculous expense. We’re not talking about hundreds it’s thousands of dollars.”
“I know what college costs, Lynnie. I’m not that clueless. I want to do this. I want you to have it. I think in the end, it will benefit me anyways. You’ll always take care of me if I need it, right? I mean I know which one of my kids I can count on.”
“Yes, I will always make sure you’re okay. That is why this is such a ridiculous expense, I can’t go. You need me too much.”
“Ian said he’d help out.”
She felt a warm feeling spreading through her limbs. She could well imagine Ian doing that for her. That he arranged it already had her heart blipping in a weird manner. Was she touched by him going behind her back? Or disturbed? She wasn’t sure. Not about any of it. It sounded ridiculous and too good to be true. “Why wouldn’t Ian come to me with this?”
“I told him I wanted to talk to you.”
“Since when? I’m sorry, Dad, but since when do you want to discuss what I’m doing?”
He frowned and rubbed the hair of his long, scraggly beard. “Well, that’s a little harsh. Am I that bad?”
“You’re that bad about talking.”
“I know. Your mom always wanted that kind of stuff from me. It’s just not how I was wired. But I’d like to do this for you.”
“So… where is my acceptance packet?”
“Ian took it. He already accepted for you.”
She shot to her feet and started for the front door, only pausing to grab her parka. It snowed the other night, leaving a thin white layer that was now crusted over the ground. “Hey. Where are you going?” Chuck yelled at her.
“To talk to Ian.” She slammed the metal door before her father could call her back. She finally figured out some things about Ian Rydell, and he would hear about them for once. He would know just exactly what she thought. Shy, unsure, virginal Kailynn had finally grown up and joined the real world.
Ian might not like the woman Kailynn decided she could finally be with him.
Chapter Fourteen
IAN WAS STANDING IN the barn with his hands on his hips, and a tool belt slung low over his waist. He stepped forwards and leaned on one knee as he started yanking one of the horse stall boards. He ripped it out, and started on the next. Kailynn stopped behind him. She stomped in there with a pronounced purpose in each step. Ian glanced at her, and finished yanking the board before he stood up and threw it off to the side.
He nodded his head to the left, indicating Jack was there, working in his office. Ian’s message was clear. Conscious of a possible audience, Kailynn said in a low tone, “You spoke to my father.”
His expression went from amiable, and kind of curious at seeing her, to shutting his eyes and resuming the blank expression. “Yes.” At least, he didn’t try to lie about it. He glanced down and worked the buckle of the tool belt off. With care, he set it on the barn floor, straightening his long
frame before taking her hand and leading her through a narrow hallway and out the back door of the barn. He crossed the dirty lot and went into Shane’s shop, clicking the lights on in the cavernous structure. It was cold in there, and reeked of industrial fumes; oil, gas, and metal, unlike the horse manure, hay, and organic smells of the barns.
“He’s in town today.” Three months ago, she’d have been questioning where Shane was, what he was doing, and when he’d be back. Now, however, she simply kept her glare firmly fixed on Ian.
She started to open her mouth, trying to be the Kailynn she used to be with Ian before that day at the lake. She intended to be her bitchiest self. But as soon as he stepped forward, and backed her into the shop’s metal wall, he buried his hands into her hair and his mouth descended on hers. Tilting her head, his mouth was hard and unyielding. His message was clear: this was his kiss. She always felt like nearly weeping the minute he touched her. He lifted his face from hers, but cradled her face in his hands and looked right into her eyes. “You need to go.”
She blinked several times to adjust her eyes to the gloom and florescent lights. Without the big garage door opened, the shop was dusty and seemed isolated from the world. She fully intended to storm in there while yelling at Ian, and telling him exactly what she thought. He managed to get the upper hand, however, and without any attempt on her part of doing as she intended. He knew how to control everything, especially her. But instead of arguing, his tone was soft and kind. His statement silenced any protest or argument she might have considered previously.
She pushed his body off hers and ripped his hands out of her hair, shaking her head repeatedly. “I finally get it. What you do. You control everything and everybody. It isn’t Jack. It never was Jack. It’s always been you. You are so secretive with everything, right down to the smallest, dumbest detail that no one ever knows what you do. So when you do finally tell anyone your opinion, those around you are so grateful for your interest, and trust your judgment so much, we all scramble over ourselves, trying to do what you want. But not one of us even knows what happened. Everyone thinks it’s Jack who runs this place. Bullshit. It’s you. You gently, slowly, and easily give Jack little tidbits of advice that get things running the way you want. And it’s done so smoothly, he thinks he thought of it. You’re the one who set it up so I worked here, aren’t you?”
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