River's Escape (River's End Series, #2)

by Davis, Leanne

  Caleb patted her back and finally mumbled, “Hey, it’s okay. Why are you so… Well, I don’t know what you are. Aren’t you mad at me?”

  Kailynn finally leaned back. “You probably shouldn’t have attacked the guy I’m with. Or threaten to make him eat his balls. I just never knew you cared.”

  “About you?” He pushed her back and closely scrutinized her face. “Hell, Lynnie, I love you to death. Why would you think anything otherwise?”

  She felt her heart bump. Why indeed? He looked so hurt by her, she smiled. “Because I just didn’t see it. I’m sorry, Caleb, I should have.”

  “But Ian Rydell?” His voice sounded pained. He shook his head, and once more, began glaring at Ian.

  She glanced around finally and saw they were the center of attention. “Yes. Ian Rydell. But thank you for warning everyone away from me, big brother. You’ll never know what you did for me.” She lifted her face to Ian, and his mouth tweaked up in a special half smile just for her. He knew exactly what she meant. If Shane had even remotely seemed friendly to her, she’d have gone after him, and he, most likely, wouldn’t have turned her down. No doubt, it would have been a short affair that broke her heart and meant nothing to Shane. But more importantly, she would have never discovered Ian.

  Jack whistled. “Damn. It would be nice if I ever knew what the hell was going on around here.”

  “My shop? You two? That’s really… gross. I’m going to have to disinfect the entire thing.”

  “Stop. My ears,” Caleb said, frowning and covering his head. Kailynn was embarrassed, totally burning up in a blush, but still grinning manically at her brother. He was so sweet. So appropriately grossed out by his sister having sex. He just never seemed to care, and it followed if he hadn’t felt at all protective toward her, and was still so obnoxious, then he must not really have cared what she did. She should have cared that the man she’d had a crush on for years was totally grossed out by her actions. But… she didn’t. Not in the least. She was more interested in what she learned in the shop, and what she did in the shop, and knowing her brother loved her, and her dad was proud of her.

  She kissed Caleb’s cheek. He blushed and it made her heart lift. A small laugh bubbled from her mouth.

  He glared at Ian again. “You deserved that sucker punch, you stupid ass.”

  She patted his arm. “Don’t call him names. He’s been good to me.”

  She didn’t raise her eyes to Ian’s now. She knew he was listening, evaluating, judging, and deciding what to think and feel. He’d let her know when he was ready.

  “I suppose you’re not a virgin any longer.”

  “How did you know I was?”

  Jack and Shane both fidgeted while staring hard at their feet. Erin listened with a giant grin on her face. Okay, not the best group conversation, but here they were. “Was?”

  “But you always acted like…” She had no idea her brother knew anything personal about her, let alone, expected anything from her.

  He shrugged. “Hell, I’m your brother. I was just messing around with you. I didn’t mean to hurt you or anything.” He directed a mean scowl towards Ian. “You’d better be careful with her. I swear to God, if you fuck with her, I will feed you your own balls.”

  Ian wasn’t amused by the ridiculous image Caleb kept describing. He remained stoic and merely inclined his head just an inch. “I fully intend to be.”

  Erin cleared her throat. “From past experience, I know a girl really doesn’t need an audience at a time like this. So we’ll all leave you alone.” She smiled and winked at Kailynn as she pulled on Jack’s hand and jerked her head at Shane. She also smiled at Ian.

  Caleb’s eyebrows furrowed. “Dad said you were going off to college. You’re not stopping that, are you?”

  “No, she’s not.” Ian answered. He stepped forward and nodded at Caleb. “What were you doing here?”

  He barked out a short laugh. “Funny, I was looking around for you. Never imagined I’d find you…”

  “Let’s pretend that part didn’t happen,” Kailynn quickly interjected.

  Caleb winced and nodded in agreement. “Anyway, I was coming to ask you for a job. My dad just gave me a talking to, about how Kailynn had done too much for us, and Jordan and I did nothing. He said she was leaving for college soon, and that if I wanted to continue to live there I had to start picking up the slack. He wants us to get full time jobs, and help him. I heard you planned to do all these expansions and new buildings, and I thought maybe you’d have something for me and Jordan. Except, now I can’t find Jordan.”

  Ian nodded. “Yeah. No shortage of stuff that’ll need to be done. I can find you something to do.”

  “Don’t think I’m working for the guy doing my sister.”

  She slapped Caleb’s bicep. “Don’t be an ass. One has nothing to do with the other.”

  He gritted his teeth. “Fine. But just so long as you never do that again.”

  “That?” Kailynn asked, surprised he’d even try to bargain.

  “That, as in, I’ll ever again have to think about my little sister…No, I can’t do it. For the love of God, just be more careful.”

  “Maybe you should apologize for attacking Ian.”

  Caleb grinned and shook his head. “I might have to work for him. But I will never apologize for something I’m not sorry for. He deserved it.”

  Ian surprisingly nodded. “I might have. Come by tomorrow morning at eight o’clock. We’ll be working down along the river.”

  Caleb spun on his heel and left with a salute.

  Kailynn watched him retreat and blushed warmly when Ian’s arms encircled her from behind and she leaned against him. “That was the strangest encounter of my life. But I just didn’t know he cared so much. I never imagined he was scaring off all my boyfriends, or guys he perceived might be.”

  “I have to admit I always wondered why Shane didn’t go after you. You weren’t subtle about your feelings. He had to know. He cared more about Caleb’s friendship than another hookup.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said again, apologizing for the same thing… again.

  “You don’t have to be. I was just stating.”

  “This was really awkward and weird and embarrassing… and wonderful. He loves me. He looked out for me. In his own way, he always has. And my dad said he was proud of me. I don’t think either of them has ever said anything close to that before. Now with the threat of me leaving, they both unload their true feelings. I wonder where Jordan is?”

  He suddenly loosened his arms from her and took her hand. He pulled her towards a bench that overlooked the river. They stopped along the bank and stared down at the rushing water. It was still cold out and the gun-metal gray of the day melted into the turbulent water. “He, ah, has a friend here that he often comes and visits.”

  “A friend? Oh, like a girl?” She frowned and shook her head. “But what girl is here? There’s only me and Erin.”

  “You know that controlling thing you don’t like? Might not like this either. I’ve known something for awhile, but I wasn’t sure if I should tell you.”

  “For future reference, err on the side of being cautious and tell me.”

  He nodded and pitched a rock into the river. “He’s gay, Kailynn. He comes here to see Pablo, that kid who helps out AJ.”

  Both of her brothers had virtually morphed three-hundred-and-sixty degrees in less than an hour. “What? That doesn’t even make sense. I’ve seen Jordan with girls. I’ve heard them in his room. I mean, I know he’s been with girls.”

  “Yeah. I know that too. But I also know I saw them together when I entered one of the outbuildings. They obviously didn’t hear me and I saw way too much of them. I’m not mistaken. You can be sure of that. There is no mistaking what I saw.”

  She watched Ian’s profile as he turned to her slowly. “You were so quiet, they didn’t hear you? How long ago? When was this?”

  “I don’t know. Probably last winter.”

>   “You really are like a shadow around here, going around and collecting all your tidbits that you only share when you want to.”

  “Actually, I just thought he deserved some privacy. None of my business.”

  She drew in a breath and shut her eyes. He was right, of course. It wasn’t even her business, really. If Ian had been another kind of man, he might have hurt her brother with what he knew. He could have ridiculed and taunted him. Or made Jordan’s life miserable in the valley.

  “Do you think he cares about Pablo?”

  “I don’t know. I know he comes here often when Shane and Caleb are gone. I assume he must mean something to him.”

  “What about all the girls?”

  “A cover? I don’t know. Or maybe he’s trying to convince himself he’s not. Or he’s simply confused and can’t live with or without it. I don’t know. I just know what I saw.”

  She turned and watched the river. Finally, she leaned her head over and set it on Ian’s arm. He glanced down at her. “Thank you. You could have hurt him so much with that information. You could have gossiped, or made fun of him, or blackmailed him. Instead, you just kept it to yourself.”

  “I wasn’t sure I should tell you or not. It really is his business. Not even yours. I just was thinking about what you said in the shop… and you’re right, I do control everything. Or at least, I try. The thing is: I don’t really realize I’m doing it. But I don’t want to control you. I want to be with you.”

  “You are with me.” She tilted her head up so she could see his face, and smiled a small, shy smile.

  “I am with you.” He spoke the words seriously, as if testing them out. He nodded and looked forward. “So, you’re not angry at the college thing?”

  “I’m angry. But other things since then have made me not feel so angry.”

  “And you’re willing to use the money and go there?”

  “No. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I’ve let my lack of self confidence keep me from most everything in my life.”

  “You could just owe me the money.”

  “I don’t want to owe you.”

  He nodded and sighed deeply. “I know.”

  “I could apply to closer schools.”

  “You already missed the winter quarter cutoff.” He stared out at the river and didn’t speak. The quiet was like a mountain of land that sat between them. Finally, he said, “I think you should go, Kailynn.”

  “I know,” she said, in a hollow tone. She didn’t want to talk about the why. She didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Luckily, she was with the un-chattiest person on the planet. He let the silence stand as they sat on the beach and watched the river flowing by.

  Chapter Fifteen

  MONEY. FOR THOSE WHO don’t have it, it can be one of the leading factors in making critical decisions. Always before, the lack of money determined what Kailynn did. It was the sole reason she had to take two jobs right out of high school that she didn’t like. She nearly freaked out when she saw the tuition prices for college. She thought it was more money than the trailer her family lived in probably cost. It was why she refused for almost five years to do anything about the direction of her life. She was drifting aimlessly, rotting away in River’s End, because she simply couldn’t conceive of how they could all eat if she didn’t work to provide for them. Especially, her dad. Her brothers might have managed to land on their feet, but what about her dad? Lacking enough money was something that always hindered her dreams as well as her motivation to manifest them.

  Ian didn’t understand that. He always had easy access to money. Money did separate them by polarizing their views of it. He couldn’t understand the passionate resistance she displayed when he offered his money. It was easier to be magnanimous and give to a loved one, than to be on the receiving end. It was easier to be the donor than the one pitied by others.

  Ian made a convincing case for why she should simply do it. He finally convinced her she was never going to if she didn’t do it now. Her brothers could work for Jack and him, so her family could afford to eat. Her brothers would also handle her father. It really wasn’t enough to keep making excuses anymore. It was time to quit procrastinating.

  In the end, however, she did take the money. She agreed to let Ian pay for the start of winter quarter, and applied for financial aid. After winter quarter, she hoped she would not need Ian’s money. But Ian’s money could let her start school now.

  How could she want to be in two places at once so much? Having been stuck in River’s End for her whole life, her feeling of being trapped had increased tenfold since her graduation from high school. All she ever wanted was to get out of there. But now, with people actually urging her and pressuring her to go, it suddenly felt possible. However, for the first time, being in River’s End was… fun and she liked it. She liked dating Ian, and letting people know about them. He could come into the café and freely flirt with her now. In his odd and intense way, he continued watching her as if they were the only two people on the planet. Now she could go up to his room in the evenings, and no one commented. She no longer cared where Shane was. Or what anyone else thought. It was a new feeling for her.

  She was trying to take a page from Ian’s playbook by not caring what others thought of her, or what she was doing; and found it easier than she expected. She was bolstered by Ian’s strange, unflappable belief in her as well as his unending support.

  They didn’t really talk about January. School was scheduled to start up January sixth. She intended to move there, and had been assigned student housing: an apartment to share with three other students. She grew anxious to go. Her insides started to dance with joy whenever she browsed the school’s website. It looked like everything she ever imagined it could be. She wanted to go very badly.

  She wanted to stay just as badly.

  A sense of unreality always accompanied her anticipation to leave home. Her dad. Her brothers. Her boyfriend. At the start of this year, she would have said every one of them would have said they didn’t care if she stayed there or not. It was startling to find out how much they did care. After the day in Shane’s shop, she felt a new closeness with Ian. She got a daily sense of familiarity with him, despite his placid exterior, that was new and exciting. Before Ian, there had never been one thing or person, except the unattainable Shane, of course, that excited her about River’s End, but now there was. Every single day, she woke up and almost bounced out of bed. Why? Because she’d see Ian at some point in the day. Their meetings became daily. And constant. And real.

  Her brothers both started working for Ian, although neither of them said much to her about him. She didn’t confront Jordan about his sexuality. She decided he’d tell her when he was good and ready. She started trying a lot harder to be nice to her brothers, and see them as more than just annoying, naughty boys who bothered her and always tried to gross her out. She tried to talk to them, and interact with them. As soon as she stopped doing everything for them, she stopped resenting them. And when she allowed them to get close to her, she discovered they weren’t so obnoxious as before.

  But if she stayed, what could ever change for her? She still had no other jobs she was interested in pursuing. She still wasn’t ready to abandon that feeling of wanderlust that kept beckoning her spirit.

  She didn’t really know what that would mean yet for Ian and her. Neither of them broached how it would affect them as a couple. Christmas was soon upon them, and the tree that shone from the Rydells’ front window was fourteen feet tall. It was filled with crazy-colored lights and decorations that spanned more than thirty years. Most of the ornaments were from their parents, and being guys, they never really changed or updated anything. It was always the same tree decorations, year after year, a relic from their childhood.

  The plan was for Kailynn’s family and the Rydells to spend Christmas Eve at the Rydell house. She intended to spend that night with Ian so she could be with him on Christmas morning.

  She was almost beco
ming comfortable in letting others know about Ian and her. It became easier each time. Ian held her more often in public, and hugged her in front of different family members. She was surprised to realize she was a shy prude about PDA, and certainly not Ian, who often tried to secretly still grope her just to see what he could get away with, and how far she’d let him go. She was often slapping his hands in jest with they inched too far up her thighs, or he slid his hand beneath her blouse when others weren’t looking.

  For Christmas Eve dinner, Kailynn cooked despite Ian’s protests. She tried to explain that it was only because no one else could really do it. In fact, the rest of them sucked at cooking. Erin was learning, but wasn’t a natural and couldn’t read the recipes, or do it alone. So… the onus was on Kailynn. She made ham and potatoes along with half a dozen salads and various side dishes. One thing all the Rydells did quite well was eat. Erin set the table with special linens and illuminated the room only with candles. When they all sat down and dimmed the rest of the lights, the tree shone in beautiful colors against the dark windows, while fresh snow fell outside and carols filled the air. Charlie’s presence only further enhanced the feeling of Christmas and kid-like magic. It was one of the happiest dinners Kailynn could ever remember having. Everyone was in a good mood. Jack and Erin were smiling, and Charlie even sat beside Erin while they sorted through the piles of gifts. Ian brushed Kailynn aside to do the dishes, but not before yelling at Caleb to come and help him. Her brother grumbled and bitched, but got up all the same and followed Ian. Kailynn leaned back and enjoyed the sight.

  As the evening wore on, they made a circle around the living room. Everyone laughed as Charlie tore apart some of the gifts he received from his uncles, the Hayes, and Erin. Kailynn’s brothers and dad also exchanged gifts with her now, but that was because she wasn’t coming over tomorrow. Not that they ever did much of anything on Christmas. It made her feel guilty when she thought of them being alone on Christmas. She knew they wouldn’t cook anything special. She tried to ignore her thoughts. It wasn’t her fault if they didn’t have a special day tomorrow. At least, they had one tonight.