City Beautiful

by CM Foss

  I dropped my stuff off in the guest room and joined Lissa in the kitchen to grab a drink when her husband tromped in the door, completely ignoring me to swing my sister around in his tattooed arms and plant a scorching kiss on her face while palming her ass.

  A pained grimace crossed my face. “Honestly. Do you do this just to gross me out?”

  Ethan grinned at me as he set Lissa down on her feet. “Nope. This is how we always greet each other.” He dropped a kiss to her forehead, then reached out a hand to me. “How’s it goin’ man? Good drive so far?”

  “Yeah,” I answered, my mind running immediately to thoughts of Ivy. Again. “Yeah, it’s been great. Really great.”

  Both of them looked at me curiously, probably because driving trips by yourself shouldn’t be considered all that fucking great.

  Lissa nodded. “Right. Well, you guys can go chill. Dinner’s almost ready. You mind if we eat early with the kids?”

  “Course not. I’d rather eat with them than you anyway.”

  Lissa laughed and kicked my shin while Ethan shook his head. “Be nice to my wife,” he warned.

  “Eh, she was my sister first.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me, and we walked into their living room to flop on the couch. It was nice to sit and relax. And it was becoming easier to do.

  “So New York, huh?” Ethan asked. “What made you pick that one?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Well, it was a job offer, which is good. And I just needed a change of scenery. Dallas was wearing me out.”

  Ethan studied me with narrowed eyes. “You think New York is gonna be different?”

  I sighed heavily and scrubbed my hands roughly over my face. “I thought so. Now… I’m not so sure.”

  He opened his mouth to speak, but we were quickly interrupted by the kids thundering in and jumping on their dad. He yelled in mock horror, growling and laughing as he wrestled with them, flipping them upside down and tickling them, making them squeal and thrash around wildly. As I watched them interact so playfully, with so much love, I felt an unfamiliar twinge of longing in my chest. I’d never thought much about having my own family, so set on my track to becoming a doctor. Now I wondered how that would ever happen. I barely had time with my immediate family. How would I ever make a new one of my own? Then I thought about Ivy. Then I stopped myself. Again.

  “Dinner!” Lissa called from the kitchen.

  As fast as they’d arrived, the kids were gone, darting to the table in a blur.

  “Do they do anything slowly?” I asked, watching them in wonder, much like one observes nature.

  Ethan shook his head. “No.”

  We shared a laugh as we sat down and waited for Lissa to serve us. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy making my sister do some work. It was a sibling thing. It was also a sibling thing that she elbowed or kicked me every time she passed.

  After being slightly bruised and nearly concussed, I surveyed the meal set in front of us. Lissa had already served up plates for the kids, and they were digging in with gusto. I watched Thomas in a bit of wonder.

  “Wow.” I shared a glance with Lissa. She smiled knowingly but said nothing.

  There was a period of time, just a few years ago, when Thomas didn’t eat. They were really afraid for him. We all were. Ethan and Lissa spent years taking him to different therapies, and it took a lot of time for it all to pay off. Every time I saw him eat anything, especially with such ease, it was a wonder.

  Lissa placed a square of lasagna on my plate and served me some salad, apologizing for the tomatoes in it.

  “You can pick ‘em out,” she said with a wink.

  I poked at them, noting their deep red color.

  “Are these real tomatoes? Or store bought?”

  She nodded. “Real. From the garden.”

  “You have a garden?”

  She smacked the back of my head. “Do you pay attention to nothing? Of course I have a garden.”

  Her eyes widened as I took a bite of tomato.

  “No way,” she said. Even Ethan looked surprised.

  “What?” I shrugged. “I can try new things.”

  “You can. But you… don’t.” She was shaking her head in disbelief.

  “I’m learning.”

  She watched me suspiciously as I started to eat more. I squirmed a little under her scrutiny but took a taste of lasagna. I chewed slowly, trying to make out what was different about it.

  I pointed at it with my fork. “This is awesome. But what is it?”

  Her eyebrows were drawn together as if she couldn’t believe we were even having this discussion. “It’s different from Mom’s because I make the pasta myself out of almond flour. It’s better for Thomas. And I made the cheese. And the sauce…”

  I took another bite and interrupted her through the mouthful. “No way. That’s impressive. Hey, you guys”—I directed Amelia and Thomas’s attention away from their fork fight and over to me—“will you show me the garden before bed?”

  “Yes!” Thomas yelled, shooting out of his chair. Amelia regarded me shyly before nodding.

  Ethan put a hand on top of his son’s head and pushed him back down into his chair. “After dinner, buddy.”

  Lissa blinked at me a few times.

  “Okay, who are you, and what have you done with my brother?” Her eyes grew wide, and she placed a hand dramatically on her chest. “You’re wearing a T-shirt. You met a girl.”

  There was an exceedingly uncomfortable thought for your sister to bring up. “Not like you’re thinking.”

  She started bouncing up and down in her chair, worse than her kids. “You did! Oh my gosh. Who is she? She has to be amazing to get you interested in food. And make you wear one hundred percent cotton. I mean, I couldn’t do it, and I can convince pretty much anyone to do anything.”

  Ethan nodded and waved his fork at me. “She has a point.”

  “Hey,” I said. “Men are supposed to stick together. Rein in your wife.”

  He winked over at Lissa. “I have no control. And I like it that way.”

  “That’s disgusting.” I groaned.

  “Come on. Out with it. You know I won’t give up,” Lissa prodded.

  “I didn’t meet someone like you’re thinking. I stayed at this inn last night”—was it just last night?—“and the woman who runs it showed me around. It was really interesting.” I pushed the food around my plate, an odd quiet settling around the table.

  I raised my eyes to see Lissa smirking. “I don’t believe you. Tell me everything.”

  I must have made some sort of a horrified face because she burst out laughing. “Okay,” she relented. “Not everything. Just the parts you know I want to know.”

  “May as well get it over with, dude,” Ethan said.

  I sighed and set my fork down. For this, I needed wine, so I topped off my glass and then slouched back in my chair. “I barely know what happened. And honestly, it’s kind of weird.”

  She clapped her hands together and grinned. “Oh good. I love weird.”

  Ivy

  “There’s nothing to tell,” I called out, exasperated with the number of times I’d repeated the phrase.

  Connie was in the barn kitchen, straining milk into jars while I hooked the small machine up to Elsie to finish our chores for the evening. I sighed and rested my head against the goat’s side. It was the perfect spot from where I was sitting, and I almost fell asleep. To be fair, I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, which was awesome and off-putting all at the same time.

  “There’s somethin’ to tell, lady!” she called back.

  “Nothing I’m planning to divulge.”

  I heard her mumble something, but I couldn’t make out the words. That was pro
bably for the best. I just kept leaning against my goat. Like a weirdo. But it was comforting.

  I missed him. That was so stupid, but I did. I couldn’t call. I couldn’t text. I didn’t even know his last name, let alone his number.

  Oh my gosh. I had sex with a stranger, and I didn’t even know his last name. Surely there was a special place for people like me. Like a special school or something.

  I heard Connie stomp out into the aisle, and I saw her prop her fists on her hips out of the corner of my eye.

  “Lord knows I don’t need to hear all the details. I have details of my own I don’t share with you.”

  I didn’t look at her, but I mumbled, “I can only imagine.”

  She scoffed. “But somethin’ happened around here, and I wanna know what you’re gonna do about it.”

  Now I did turn to look at her. “What I’m going to do about it? He lives in New York. Or he will soon, anyway. What is there to do? We met and we had a… a fling. It happens.”

  “Mmhmm. A fling?” Connie’s voice was disbelieving. “I don’t think anyone could have just a fling with Dr. Dreamsicle.”

  I shuddered inwardly. Outwardly too. “That’s a gross nickname,” I pointed out. “And what else could one night be?”

  “One night?” She cocked her head at me. “One night could change everything.”

  I let my head flop back to Elsie’s side. Dimple trotted over and rested her head on my lap, maybe sensing I needed a hug. I scratched her nose.

  “Well, it could. But now it’s over.”

  “Did it? Change anything?”

  “I don’t know.” I groaned. “Yes. No. Maybe a little? But… now it’s done. He was really nice. Nicer than I thought he’d be. And he was… different. I’ve never really met anyone like him before.”

  “And you never will if you don’t get your buns off this farm every now and again.”

  I straightened and smirked at her. “To be fair, I had this whole experience without having to go into town even once.”

  She leveled a stare at me. “Well, if that’s what you’re looking for, you’re heading into a whole other business here.”

  “I’m not looking for anything, Connie. It just happened, and it was great. Can’t we just leave it at that?”

  “Are you gonna start gettin’ off the farm a little? Go out with some people your own age? ’Cause if you promise to do that, then I’ll leave this alone.”

  I sighed, long and hard and audibly. And I lied. “Yes. I will.”

  “You’re lying.” She wagged a finger at me.

  “Well, I will when I have time.” As I spoke I threw up my hands, startling Elsie. I tried to grab the bucket out from under her, but her hind foot landed squarely in the center of the full pail of milk. Dimple scurried away as Elsie kicked and hopped into the air at the same time. Milk flew everywhere, all over me, the floor, and the goat. I bit my lip and stared at it as it flooded around my feet, dripping off my jeans. It was otherwise silent in the barn.

  Finally, I looked up at Connie, who nodded sharply.

  “That’s what you get for lying.”

  Chapter 10

  Three Months Later

  Patrick

  “Why don’t I have Mrs. Burkin’s test results in? I should have had them three days ago.” I slammed the file in my hands down onto my desk with a loud smack, making the poor nurse who’d just handed it to me jump slightly.

  Sarah sighed. “I’m sorry, Dr. Thompson. The lab said they’re backed up on everything right now.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to relieve the tension that resided there. “It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for yelling. Can you just call them and—”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, interrupting her friend. And took a deep breath. “They’re gone for the day. No one is answering the phone.”

  I dropped my hand from my face and raised my eyes to hers. “You’re kidding me.”

  She gave a quick shake to her head.

  “It’s four o’clock in the afternoon.”

  Her shoulders lifted in a small, apologetic shrug.

  “I should have been a vet,” I muttered.

  Sarah’s eyebrows drew together in confusion, and she opened her mouth to speak, but I stopped her with a hand in the air.

  “Never mind. I’ll call them myself first thing in the morning.”

  I dismissed her with a wave, kind of in a douchy way, but… fuck. I could hardly take the bullshit anymore. She was better off scurrying off, anyhow.

  I sat back in my chair and rubbed my heavy eyes. I let my head fall back and gave in, closing my lids and letting them rest for a few minutes.

  And I did what had become a strange habit, way too often. I thought about Ivy. I thought about that day and that night. I wanted to know what she was doing now. What she was eating, what she was cooking. I thought about the way she’d dance around when she tasted something she approved of. Her honesty, bluntness. Her hair. I thought a lot about her hair. The way it looked on her pillow, across my chest, wrapped around my hand. All the different colors woven through it.

  I thought about her eyes, so green and striking. So intense at times and playful at others. I thought about her taste and her feel, her breath and her lips. Her teasing smile.

  But I didn’t look her up. I knew I could get her contact through the farm, but she was right. There was no point. It’d been three months. And we only spent one day together. One incredible night. Eventually the feelings would fade. It was probably just the novelty of the whole event anyway. And if she really wanted to find me, I knew she’d find a way.

  Working in a New York City private practice was… busy. An unending array of patients who wanted me to fix them with a pill instead of doing anything to help themselves. Requests for medications were rampant. Heart, liver, kidney, stomach, lungs, pancreas, intestines, skin, elbows, knees, and toes. There was a pill for just about everything. But the same people kept coming back, no better, still asking for pills. Then they stopped at the vending machine on their way out for a snack.

  I wanted to scream and rail at them or smack them with their ever-growing file. Cook a meal, for once. Eat a damn vegetable. Fruit, whatever. Just eat something real. One time a woman came in, so proud, to tell me all about the vitamins she took religiously. Then she confessed she was a vegetarian who hated vegetables. The logic was mind-boggling.

  I’d slowed way down on smoking. I hadn’t stopped entirely; sometimes my days necessitated the cigarette break. But at least now it bothered me. And I’d started cooking, actually. Not particularly well, but I was trying and learning. My apartment didn’t have the biggest kitchen in the world. That was part of the problem with living in a city like this. It was actually easier just to go out and let someone else cook for you.

  I was pulled out of my musings by a heavy hand landing on my shoulder. My eyes opened with a jolt, and I looked up to smile sheepishly at my boss.

  “Hey, Bob.”

  “How’s it going, Patrick?” he asked with his booming, jovial voice.

  “Great, sir. Just finishing up.”

  He winked at me. “Good, good. And I’ll see you at the party tonight?”

  “Yep. I’ll be there.”

  “Wonderful. I have someone I’d like you to meet.” He wiggled his eyebrows up and down, and mild alarm coursed through me.

  “Oh. Bob. That’s not necessary,” I began. It was Bob’s birthday, and his wife was throwing him a rather large dinner party full of doctors and lots of people I didn’t know and didn’t really care to.

  He shook his head and held up a hand. “Now, there’s no pressure. But I know you hole yourself up doing nothing every night unless you’re on call. You need to get out a little bit. Have a little fun. Stacy is a great girl. The n
iece of a colleague. She knows her way around the city, and you never know, she may get you out of your shell a bit.”

  I pasted a smile to my face that didn’t quite reach my eyes, resigned to playing this game. “Sounds great. Thanks, Bob.”

  He clapped his hand on my shoulder again and walked out of the office. I stared after him, wondering why I was so against meeting someone new.

  A few hours later, I stood in front of the mirror of my small bathroom and groaned. My tie felt tight around my throat. My shirt felt scratchy and stiff. I shrugged my shoulders, trying to loosen the feel of my jacket. The walls were closing in on me, so I walked out and crossed my bedroom in four steps to lean my head against the windowpane. I didn’t open it because it wasn’t like fresh air was going to rush in. Only the stale, dank scent of the city.

  New York had a magic to it. It really did. I just felt like it was wearing off for me. Wearing on me and wearing me out.

  I lifted my head and raked my fingers through my hair, blowing out a hard breath. I had thought that joining this practice would be a step toward something new and different. Inspirational. A change of scenery from the downtown Dallas hospitals I rotated through during my residency. But the people were the same. Even the scenery wasn’t that different.

  I was surrounded by walls, by concrete, by people. All day, every day with people. And most nights on call. But I’d never felt so alone. In fact, I’d felt more at home with Ivy, surrounded by nothing but animals.