by CM Foss
Silence hung over the kitchen, her voice still ringing in my ears. I shoved my hands in my pockets and nodded, staring at the floor. My lungs were so tight, I could barely breathe. I concentrated on inhaling slowly, controlled, and then exhaling the same way.
“Okay,” I said quietly, though even that level sounded too loud in the air, thick with tension. “Just let me know when your first doctor’s appointment is. I’ll do my best to be here.”
“Patrick, I…”
But I walked out before she could finish.
Ivy
“So you just… let him go?” Emily shook her head slowly in disbelief and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. Her eyes were bluer and wider than usual.
“What was I supposed to do?” I let my head fall to the table with a thump, rattling the teacups beside me.
Emily reached out and moved the delicate china away from my path of destruction. We were at my favorite little tea shop in town, and the only place I would eat outside my home, since I provided them with most of their ingredients.
I’d lied to Patrick. No one else was meeting us. Just us girls in party dresses. I’d just wanted him to think I had a life outside… well, my life.
I didn’t.
“Well, for starters, you could have heard him out. What if he wants to move out here?”
“He doesn’t.” I shook my head as I straightened in my chair, smoothing my skirt. “He’s just nice. Honorable.”
Emily scoffed. “He’s not that honorable. He did knock you up.”
I clamped my lips together but couldn’t entirely suppress my laugh. “That’s true. But he’s trying to be honorable about it.”
“Don’t you think it would be good for your baby to have both parents around?”
“I do. Of course. But these are extenuating circumstances. We don’t even know each other. I learned his last name online. Our lives are so different.”
“But they’re about to intertwine.”
I nodded, considering her words. “I know.”
“What if… what if he asked you to move to New York?”
I chewed my lip. “I can’t move back there. I hate it there. And I have my whole life and farm here. I can’t just up and leave it.”
“But he’s right. He could be a doctor anywhere. If he’s willing, why don’t you let him?”
I threw up my hands, almost knocking the tray of petit fours over. Emily put a hand on the platter to steady it, throwing me a look.
I took a deep breath and tucked my hands under my legs to keep them still. “Because I don’t want him to feel trapped. This situation isn’t all his fault. I was there. I invited him to stay in the first place.”
“With the express intention of getting pregnant?”
“No.” I scoffed. “Of course not. But still. I don’t want him to think I did it on purpose.”
“Ivy, I really don’t think that’s on anyone’s mind. Least of all his.”
I shrugged, unable to voice my thoughts. “I just panicked. He’s acting like… like he cares about me. Like he wants to be with me. And I just don’t trust it.”
Em nodded. “That’s fair.”
“It is?” I looked up at her.
“Yeah. It is. It’s still stupid, and I think you pushing him away was the wrong decision. And I think you should figure out a way to be together because I’m a hopeless romantic and it would make a great story. Plus you’re both freakishly attractive and should populate the world with lots and lots more babies.”
I stared at her, deadpan. “Thanks for the support.”
She grinned brightly, blue eyes twinkling. “You’re welcome.”
Chapter 17
Patrick
And then the moment I’d been dreading. The call to my little sister.
“Hey, jerk, what’s going on?” Her voice came over the line.
I was on a short break at the office and sitting outside, pretending to smoke. I wanted to smoke, but I’d promised Ivy. I didn’t know why it even mattered. She wasn’t here and we hadn’t spoken. I flipped an unlit cigarette around in my fingers as I tucked my phone between my ear and shoulder.
“Hey, runt. How are the kids?”
“Good.” She drew out the word.
“How’s your asshole husband?”
“He’s good too.” I could hear the smile in Lissa’s voice. “So what’s up?”
“Does there have to be a reason I call?” I continued flipping the cigarette around until it snapped in two. I tossed it in a nearby ashtray.
“Yeah. Usually.”
“That’s not true. We talk all the time.” I drew my eyebrows together like I could glare at her through space.
“We text. Not talk. So out with it.”
I groaned and rubbed my hand over my face. There was something about telling your sister you got a girl pregnant that was… awkward to say the least. “Okay… well…” I winced as I said the words. “You’re gonna be an aunt.”
There was dead silence on the other end of the line, to the point that I looked at my phone to make sure I wasn’t disconnected. “You there?”
“Uh… um… I don’t know which question to ask first. But, congratulations!”
I chuckled a little. “Thanks, I think. Ask away.”
“For real?”
I smiled to myself. “Yes.”
“Please tell me it’s Ivy and not some other random.”
“The one and only.”
“Wow,” she said breathlessly. “So you’re telling me you knocked up a girl you met at a roadside stand?”
I nodded to myself. “Pretty much.”
Silence again. But then I realized it was because she was laughing so hard that no sound could escape except the occasional squeak. I let her carry on for a while until I cleared my throat. She was such an asshole. I had the fleeting thought that my kid might turn out to be a girl and would have similar genes. I almost broke out in a cold sweat.
“Are you finished?”
I heard her draw in a long, dramatic breath and let it out with a whistle. “For now. Sorry. It needed to happen.”
I nodded to myself. “I understand.” …that you’re an asshole.
“So, what’s the plan? Have you told Mom?”
“Yep.”
“What’d she say?”
“Ugh.” I groaned and slouched farther on the bench. “I don’t know. She was fine. She wants to meet her. Ivy.”
“Well, that’s not an unusual request,” she pointed out. “Was she mad?”
“She can’t really be mad. I’m almost thirty.”
“Yeah, but you still had to admit to her that you had premarital sex.”
I shuddered. “It was horrible. But I’d like to think that deep down she’d be worried if I was a virgin.”
“I wish I still thought you were a virgin.” Lissa snorted.
“Yeah, well. I wished that about you a long time ago.”
“Touché.”
“Yeah. Well, anyway”—I stood to get ready to head back into the office—“that’s my news. I gotta go.”
“Well, wait. I have more questions.”
“I have work. They’ll have to wait.”
“No!” she screeched, laughing. “When is this baby coming? And when can I meet the girl who got you in regular clothes and eating tomatoes?”
I sighed and slumped back down. “Sometime in January, I think. And I’m not sure. We didn’t part on the best of terms.”
“Patrick,” she said after a pause. “I hate to ask this, but how do you know this kid is even yours?”
“You don’t know Ivy.”
“Neither do you. Not really.”
“I know her better than you�
��d think.” I could picture her nodding. I appreciated her concern, but despite the little time we’d spent together, I knew Ivy would never pull something like that. There was nothing fake about her.
“Just… just be careful, okay?”
“Yep,” I agreed. “I gotta go. Kiss the kids for me.”
“I will. And Patrick?” she asked.
“Mmhmm.”
“You’re gonna be a great dad. You know that?”
My heart jumped into my throat and stuck there. “Thanks.”
I ended the call, dropped my phone into my coat pocket, and turned to walk back inside. Just before I got to the door I froze midstep.
Dad.
Dad?
And that was it. That was the moment that it hit me. I was going to be a dad. To a child who lived several states away. Not a child. My child. It didn’t matter anymore what I wanted or what Ivy wanted. Life was no longer about the want.
Ivy
“Where did this come from?” I stomped into the kitchen of the main house to find Connie stirring a large pot of apples on the stove, getting ready for canning.
She turned and cocked a brow. “Do I really need to explain that to you?”
I stared down at my belly that was somehow… round and placed a hand over it.
“I swear yesterday my stomach was flat.”
She shrugged and returned to her task. “Get used to it. Only gonna get bigger.”
“You’re not helping.”
“Yes, I am.” She scoffed. “Lying ain’t gonna help.”
I laughed. Kind of. “Well. I guess it’s real.”
“Lady, it was real a while ago.”
“I know. Just now it… feels more real.”
“Mmhhm. Have you made an appointment yet?”
“I called some places,” I said sheepishly.
“And?”
“And… I set up some phone interviews.”
She turned to me with furrowed brows. “Phone interviews about what?”
I began picking at my fingernails. “Like if we mesh. If they’re open-minded and… nice and understanding and someone I can talk to.”
“I didn’t even know you could do that. Why not just go see them?”
“Because I’m not setting foot into their office and signing my life”—I placed a hand over my new little bump and stared down at the way it was starting to fill my hand—“our lives away to someone I don’t trust.”
She rolled her eyes and turned her back. “That’s a little dramatic.”
“It is not. It’s serious.” My voice rose in pitch. “And anyway, every place I talked to said that I wasn’t far off schedule. It’s fine.”
She harrumphed and began banging jars around. “Careful,” I warned. She glared at me over her shoulder with a raised eyebrow, and I clamped my mouth shut.
With a long sigh, I went to grab an apron to start helping out, when the hairs on the back of my neck rose and I froze.
I turned around to see Emily tiptoe in nervously.
“Hey. What are you doing here?” I asked.
She raised a hand in a small wave, not meeting my eyes. “Thought I’d help with the apples.”
“Oh. Uh… awesome. Way more fun this way.”
“Yeah, don’t hate me,” she said with a squeak, scurrying toward Connie.
I watched her with a frown, but then my traitorous heart quickened as a large presence loomed behind me. My eyes narrowed and lips tightened. Emily made a grimace and scooted closer to Connie, who had a smug expression on her face.
“I hate you all,” I muttered.
“Don’t hate them. You can keep hating me,” Patrick said quietly.
I turned with a sigh to see him standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. His dark hair was a little shaggy and a little less kept than usual, clearly mussed from his fingers running through it. His green eyes were a little tired and a little sad. He was wearing a relaxed pair of jeans and a soft-looking plaid shirt. And boots. He looked… good. Familiar. That was weird.
“I don’t hate you,” I said softly.
His eyes drifted down my body, landing on the bump showing through my fitted T-shirt. They brightened a touch, and one corner of his mouth rose in a smile, then vanished.
“Pack a bag, blondie. You’re comin’ with me.”
And he walked out of the room.
Wait, what?
I glanced over my shoulder at the women watching us like a soap opera and darted after him, only reaching him once we were outside.
“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I called as I chased after him on the path toward my house.
“Oh, yeah? What do you think you’re doing right now?”
I growled as I stomped my way behind him.
“Well, where are we going?”
“Texas.”
“Texas?!” I shrieked, following him up my steps where he held my door open. “Why?”
He looked down at me. “My family wants to meet you.”
“Oh my gosh.” I buried my face in my hands as I walked in, kicking off my shoes. They bounced off the wall and fell in a heap. “Patrick, I can’t leave right now. We’re doing fall canning, and I have guests coming over the weekend. I can’t just up and leave.”
“It’s all taken care of. Emily is covering for you, and you’ll be back in two days. Plenty of time to get ready for the weekend and whatever else. I’ll need to get back to work anyway. I had to sell my soul to get this time off.”
I stared at him for a long moment, hands on my hips, while I chewed my lip to the point of soreness.
“Please, Ivy.” He said it with such sincerity that my heart melted a little. “It’s my family.”
“Words cannot express how much I don’t want to go.”
He groaned and spun away from me, running a hand through his hair.
“But I’ll come.”
He looked up at the ceiling and blew out a breath, but one corner of his mouth rose in a smile. “Thank you.”
I nodded and turned toward my room to pack a bag but paused at the door and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. For what I said a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t…”
His hard, clipped tone stopped me from continuing. “It’s fine. No big deal.”
Nodding once more, I escaped to my room.
Chapter 18
Patrick
“Why are you so jumpy?” I asked. “I’ve never seen you so nervous.”
Ivy glared at me from her seat on the plane.
“You’ve barely seen me.”
“Oh, I’ve seen you.”
She flung her hand back and smacked me in the chest.
“Ow.” I rubbed the spot she connected with.
She sighed audibly. “That made me feel better.”
“You’re violent when you’re pregnant.”
“Maybe I’m violent all the time. You wouldn’t know.”
I tightened my lips and leveled a stare at her. “Can you stop with the whole ‘we don’t know each other’ routine? I think we’re past that.”
“Uh, actually we’re not. You didn’t think I was crazy enough to carry my own vegetables with me on a plane. And you were wrong. See, we still don’t really know each other. So this is ridiculous.”
“You’re right. It is ridiculous that you brought a bag of vegetables. And I should have known better than to doubt your brand of crazy. So let’s get to know each other. Because, like it or not, we’re going to be a family.”
She pursed her lips but didn’t say anything.
“Now, why are you so nervous?”
She looked down and fiddled with her hands, twisting her fingers around.
“I’m embarrassed, Patrick.”
I cocked my head. “Why?”
“Do you really have to ask? I’m about to meet your family and I’m some girl you literally met on the side of the road who is now carrying your child. I’m a total slut.”
I shrugged and tried to hide my smile. “So am I.”
“That’s not helpful.”
I risked reaching over and covering her hands with mine, giving them a little squeeze. Thankfully, she allowed it.
“Relax. My family is really nice. They already know about the baby, so we’re not going to shock them or anything. They just want to meet you. And they’ll be the only grandparents he or she has. It’s important… to me. You’ll meet two of his or her cousins. And one of my sisters and brother-in-law. I know you don’t have any family to speak of. Or you didn’t. But now… now you do.”
“Great, then it looks like I got knocked up just so I could weasel my way into someone else’s family.”
“For fuck’s sake, you’re determined to be negative. That’s so unlike you.” I held up a hand when she started to interrupt. “Don’t start. I do know that’s unlike you. Tell me I’m wrong.”
She pouted again because I was right.
“I’m sorry.” She huffed and wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m just so out of sorts. I never really even considered having kids. I had a great family at one point, and they’re all gone now. I’m not sure I remember what a family even is.”
My chest tightened at her description, but I wasn’t letting her off the hook. “Well, now’s your chance to remember.”
She was quiet again.
“Do you want me to distract you?” I offered.
“Maybe,” she muttered.
I bolstered myself by pasting a big smile on my face, because I knew I was about to royally piss her off. A small part of me was looking forward to it, because she pissed me off frequently.
“It’s… uh… great news, actually. I have a friend from med school, and he’s an OB now. He said he’d be happy to do… you know… a quick check up on you and the baby.”
