by CM Foss
I watched cautiously as Ivy’s jaw dropped and her eyes narrowed, the irritation in them making the green color pop. It was kind of hot.
I held up my hands, hiding my face behind them in case she decided to deck me. “You need to get checked out. This is nothing serious. Not even a blood draw or a step on the scale. Just an ultrasound and we don’t even have to go through the front office. You can’t even really call it a doctor’s appointment. It’s like a baby step.”
She huffed and turned away.
“Is that you agreeing?” I asked with a smile.
She smacked me in the chest again.
Ivy
“Patrick, I really don’t wanna do this,” I said in a shaky voice, my eyes darting around to watch the scenery fly by. Cars sped past us in the other direction as we drove our rental car up and around huge overpasses marked with the Texas star. My knee was bouncing up and down like we were on a gravel road and not the interstate, and my heart raced like I’d been running tied to the bumper the whole time. Each mile closer tightened my chest more and more, to the point where I thought my sternum might crack under the pressure.
“You’ve already had an ultrasound done. That’s all this is. Eric’s going to take a few measurements, print out a picture we can take to my mom, and that’s it. Maybe check your blood pressure, which is probably a good idea at this point.”
“It’s not a joke, you jackass. The last time I was in a doctor’s office I had an absolute shit fit and ran out. I was like a lunatic. Nurses were yelling after me and people had to jump out of my way. I’ve never felt so… so out of control and crazed before. I just”—I emitted a shaky breath—“don’t think I can do it.”
“Yes, you can.” He nodded, never taking his eyes from the road.
“How would you know?” I sounded like a bratty teenager even in my own ears.
“Because last time you didn’t have me to stop you.”
He was so confident and self-assured. We’d switched roles.
“What happened to you?” I pursed my lips as I studied his profile.
His eyes cut to me briefly before returning to the road. “What do you mean?”
“When we first met, you were kind of a wreck. Uptight and snotty and you had zero optimism.”
He scoffed. “Then why on earth did you sleep with me?”
I shrugged. “You were still hot.”
He let out a bark of laughter from deep within his chest.
“See.” I pointed at him. “That right there. You didn’t do that.”
His eyes darted to mine again, then back in front of him. He was still smiling. “You.”
“Oh. Right.” I rolled my eyes.
“You happened to me. I’m still a work in progress, but your voice has been in my head all these months, slowly brainwashing me.”
I smirked and tilted my head. “Well, that actually sounds fun.”
“You’d think.” He paused and looked at me again. “You know, I did stop smoking. One hundred percent.”
“I’ve never seen you smoke, so I didn’t really notice.” I forced myself into nonchalance, even though the thought of him quitting such a tough habit warmed me inside. “That’s great though. But be honest, you can’t have been that addicted. You spent a whole day with me, and I never even knew you smoked.”
He nodded slowly. “What’s funny is that I was. I still am, probably. But when I was with you, when I was at The Green House, I didn’t even think about it. Before I met you, I thought about it all the time. Every function I went to, I spent the whole time trying to get outside alone. I couldn’t stand to be around… people. The city is so big and so busy. But I don’t feed off that energy well anymore. It bored me. To the point where smoking was just something else to do.”
“So what do you do now? What keeps you busy? Sit in traffic in your useless car?” I asked, studying him, enjoying the way he spoke so carefully and thoughtfully as he drove.
“Nah. I sold it.” He reached over and placed a finger under my chin, gently closing my mouth that was gaping open. “I cook.”
“Nuhuh.” I stared at him with wide eyes.
“I do. I’m not very good. But I’m learning. I watch a lot of Food Network and Anthony Bourdain.” He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s fun.”
“This is so much to take in. What’s your favorite thing to cook?”
“Sushi.”
I snorted. “Your favorite thing to cook is raw fish?”
He smirked. “You know what I mean. I love putting it all together.”
“That’s a busy project for one person.” I picked at the edge of my seat belt, rolling and unrolling it. “Do you do it with a group of friends or something?”
“Nope.” He shrugged. “Just me. It keeps me busy so it’s kind of therapeutic. Like goat milking. But I can’t have a goat. So sushi.”
“Who knew goats and sushi were so relatable,” I pondered aloud. “And I still can’t believe you sold your car. You seemed so attached to it.”
He shrugged. “I had no time for it. Turns out it wasn’t as important as I thought.”
It was at that moment I realized we had pulled into a parking lot and he was shutting off the engine, having thoroughly distracted me in the past several minutes.
He reached over and squeezed my knee, making me jump.
“Ready?”
Chapter 19
Patrick
She was way more freaked out than I thought. I’d assumed she was being overly dramatic about her distaste for doctors, but I should have known better. Ivy didn’t do theatrics, unless she was rolling her eyes. Which, I had to admit, was often.
I stopped her just before the door and took ahold of her shoulders so she faced me.
“Hey,” I said softly when she finally looked into my eyes. “This is not a hospital. No one is dying here. This is about life, a life we created. Nothing’s going to go wrong.”
She gave a brief nod, and I pressed a steadying kiss to her forehead. We walked together into the brick building that was part of a small medical plaza. I’d have held Ivy’s hand, but the way she was hugging her arms around herself seemed to indicate that wouldn’t be welcome. Her eyes darted around the waiting room at the chairs filled with mainly very pregnant women. There were baby pictures and birth announcements covering the walls and flower arrangements on every table. In the far corner was a play area where toddlers were crashing toys together and squealing.
Before she could overthink things, I hustled a pale-faced Ivy through the room with a firm hand at the small of her back, practically shoving her through the door that led to the exam rooms. I nodded to the nurses like I was exactly where I was supposed to be and walked toward the heavy wooden door that would lead to Eric.
Just as we reached it, I had this moment of insecurity that constricted my lungs. Why did I bring Ivy here? A week ago I was kind of pissed off and disconnected and it made sense. Now it felt like a really bad decision. I always thought I was on the intelligent side, but this was questionable. And it was too late anyway. I rapped on the door twice and pushed it open, nudging Ivy in ahead of me. She stopped short, and I almost collided with her back.
Eric rose with a grin and stepped around his desk. I’m not one to pay much attention to other men’s looks, but even I felt a little self-conscious around this guy. I’d forgotten. He was about my height, but way more built. He had dark skin and a shaven head, and I had no idea what made him decide to be a gynecologist.
He reached out for Ivy, who was still standing mutely. She blinked rapidly before reaching back to shake hands, and then we all moved to sit around the desk.
“So, Ivy,” Eric began. “I understand you are not a fan of doctors. That correct?”
Ivy gave a tight smile. “You could say that.”
“But you are pregnant. Did you take a home test?”
“Ah, no. My vet did an ultrasound.”
Eric’s eyes widened, and his jaw dropped.
I stepped in. “Luke’s equipment is nicer than yours, I promise.”
He was visibly flustered. “No, that’s fine. It’s just not something I’ve ever heard before.”
Even Ivy laughed, albeit nervously. “I appreciate you seeing me like this,” she said, chewing her lip to the point that I was worried she’d bleed. “Patrick is pretty appalled, and I’ll admit I don’t know what I’m doing. This wasn’t… planned. You know?”
Eric nodded. “At least half my caseload isn’t planned either. You’re not alone.” He stood again. “I can’t legally do much, but I can take an ultrasound just for fun and take some measurements. You have to promise me you’ll see someone back home. A human doctor.”
“I will,” Ivy agreed quickly.
She hopped out of her chair to follow Eric, and I saw her freeze and put a hand to her forehead, swaying slightly. I rose quickly and put a hand on her hip, steadying her in concern. In a moment, she opened her eyes and gave her head a little shake, smiling at me.
“I’m fine. Thanks. I just stood too quickly.”
Eric glanced between us.
“Patrick, do you want to wait here? I’m sure Ivy would like some privacy.”
“Oh, no,” Ivy said. “He can come. I’m sure he wants to see. Right?” She looked at me in question.
“Of course I do,” I said to her.
Eric turned to me. “Are you… is this…?” He waved a hand between Ivy and me.
I gave a sharp nod, and a wide grin spread across his face.
He clapped a hand on my shoulder. “Congratulations, man. You didn’t tell me.”
Ivy turned to me, her glare accusing. “You didn’t tell him?”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I haven’t really told many people, Ivy. I haven’t known about it myself for long.”
She pursed her lips at me and folded her arms across her chest. I moved closer to whisper in her ear.
“I’m not embarrassed about it, blondie. It’s just no one’s business.”
She huffed but followed Eric into the exam room where he directed her to sit on the table. At my insistence, he checked her blood pressure. The room was silent other than her short puffs of breath. Eric met my eyes over her shoulder and gave an almost imperceptible gesture with his head. I leaned to whisper in her ear.
“Relax, blondie. Just breathe slowly. Let go a little.”
She filled her lungs with air and blew it out strongly a few times. I slowly rubbed my hand over her back, then stilled as Eric pumped the armband back up. I continued speaking softly to her, reminding her to breathe and release her tension, until Eric gave me a satisfied nod.
“Good,” he said. “All right. Let’s take a look-see at this baby.”
I pulled up a chair to sit beside her and watch the show.
Ivy pulled up her shirt and tucked a towel into her pants, pushing them down. My eyes couldn’t stop staring at the small swell in her belly. But when the wand started moving around, I pried my eyes away to look at the screen. A few clicks of some buttons and the fast whooshing sound of a heartbeat filled the room. We were silent, listening. The image of a tiny human appeared in black and gray, moving and swimming, probably irritated at the sound waves disturbing her. I don’t know why I thought “her” in that moment, but I did.
Eric expertly clicked away on the keyboard as he moved the wand to different angles. I looked into Ivy’s eyes, which were an even brighter green than usual, glittering and misty. I leaned over and pressed a long kiss to her forehead because words were escaping me.
The sound of the printer brought me out of my reverence. Eric watched us as he passed over some pictures.
“Your due date is January 18,” he said. “Everything looks normal, but you do need to go get some routine blood work done when you get home. It’s important,” he stressed.
Ivy nodded, still staring at the pictures of our baby.
“Now, you’re a bit over four months, and we can’t always tell that early. But the positioning is right. Would you like to know the sex?”
I looked at Ivy, questioningly. “I kind of do,” she whispered.
“Me too.”
Eric handed over another printout to me, and I crouched next to Ivy so we could look together. There was a little arrow pointing to an impressive appendage. A boy.
“A boy?” Ivy said in awe. She glanced at me with tears in her eyes. “Can we name him after my dad?”
I kissed the top of her head. “Of course. What was your dad’s name?”
She looked back at the picture. “David.”
I smiled in relief. Because of course we could name the kid after her dad, but I was really grateful he’d had a normal name.
Eric had a bit of an incredulous expression on his face as he listened to our conversation, but I didn’t feel the need to explain why I didn’t know my pregnant girlfriend’s father’s name. Truth be told, it’s something I should have asked. And I would have, if we’d ever been on a date. I stood to shake his hand. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome. Just make sure she takes care of herself.” He nodded in Ivy’s direction.
I smiled as I watched her. “I will.”
Ivy
“That. That was a little bit of bullshit.” I made my way to the passenger side of the car and flung it open, settling myself inside with a huff.
“That… was amazing,” Patrick insisted, easing himself beside me.
“Bullshit.”
“Amazing.”
“That was the hottest gynecologist I’ve ever seen.”
“That is extremely awkward.”
I almost strained my eyes in their roll. “Right? Bullshit.”
“Okay.” He raised his hands. “I’m sorry. He is uncomfortably good-looking for his job. But if you had gone to a normal doctor like a normal person, I wouldn’t have had to resort to these measures.”
“Really?” I deadpanned.
“Really.” He started the engine. “And do you know why?” He shifted in his seat to face me.
“No. Why?” I turned as well.
“Because that”—he pointed toward the office building—“was fucking amazing. Admit it.”
I chewed my lower lip. “It was. But your part was bullshit.”
“Focus on the good. And then remember it.”
She snorted loudly. “Where’d you hear that one?”
“You,” he mentioned nonchalantly as he backed out of our parking spot.
I glared at his profile as I remembered. “Throwing my own words back at me is a dick move.”
“You threw first. Be prepared to catch.”
I huffed and stared straight ahead.
“Let me ask you something,” he said, nodding. I didn’t respond, and I guess he assumed that meant he should continue. “You handled that whole process exceptionally well in there for someone who was so set against it. Did Eric’s looks distract you from your nerves?”
I glared at him again. “You’re telling me you brought me to him so I wouldn’t be nervous?”
“No.” He shook his head slightly. “It was a happy accident. But it did work.”
“You’re not helping your case.”
“Can we please talk about the good parts?” he pleaded. “In about ten minutes, you’re gonna meet my family, and I’d really like to introduce them to the Ivy I first met. You know, instead of this one.”
My eyes grew wide, and I started to sputter.
He stopped me with a hand on my knee, squeezing gently and moving it slightly up my thi
gh. My breath hitched and my stupid heart fluttered and all my indignation started melting away. I was being such a bitch. And it was only because I was nervous. And freaked the fuck out. And bitchy.
I squirmed, squeezing my thighs together tightly to calm myself, inadvertently trapping his fingers between them. His hand traveled up another inch, making me squirm harder. I jumped toward the door beside me, determined to keep my distance. You can only get so far in a small sedan. His grip eased, but he didn’t move away, his thumb lazily running back and forth. I felt the heat burn through the denim of my jeans, and I took deep breaths to pretend it wasn’t affecting me.
“I can feel you getting less mad from over here,” he said quietly.
“I’m deflating.”
He smirked. “Look. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us. You’re right that our… situation is not ideal. But we have a connection. And not just this baby. Our son. I felt it with you from the first moment we met. I’d never even considered that as a possibility before. But it’s there. You… you drew me in, and I loved every minute. You wanted to change my life, and you did. I want to be with you.”
He paused, and I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to be with him too, but the words were stuck in my throat, pushed down by the heaviness of reality.
I sighed and twisted my fingers together, finally letting them rest on his hand.
“Before you shoot me down”—he continued—“remember that we live in a time when anything is possible. Our lives are global. Distance is nothing. We always have options, and they’re not all bad.”
“Distance is hard,” I murmured, almost to myself.
“Life is hard.” He squeezed my leg for emphasis.
My mind swam with all the options in front of us, all the decisions we’d be faced with. Did I want to do it all alone?
