Beat (The Beat and The Pulse #1)

by Amity Cross

  We were nose to nose and it was a wonder someone hadn't punched or scratched yet. Monica was the hair pulling type, while I was the kind who'd full fist sucker punch in the face. My entire body began coiling, readying itself to break her perfect, symmetrical nose.

  A thick arm pushed between us and I blinked hard, digging my fingernails into my palms.

  “Hey,” a deep voice boomed. “Take a beat.”

  My gaze met Ash's and I realized the fight was over and everyone was staring at us. Unsurprisingly, Dad was still in the ring, watching us in disappointment. What, did he think we'd be BFF's and braid each other's hair? Unlikely.

  Monica let out a loud sigh as Ash threaded his arm through hers. Without another glance at me, he led her away, leaving me to seethe in silence.

  Typical.

  Lincoln appeared beside me and put his big paw of a hand on my shoulder. “You okay?”

  I wasn't, but I nodded, staring after Ash, trying to filter out my glamazon half-sister from hell. “Yeah, I'm fine.”

  Total lie. I was the furthest thing from it. Monica had just voiced all the doubts and fears that lived deep in my heart. Dean and Linc might be kind, and Josie to an extent, but deep down I was alone. I had a family that didn't want to acknowledge I existed, I lived in a closet, I had no direction and what felt like no hope.

  I fucking hated the bitch, but Monica was right.

  I didn't belong here.

  Not yet.

  Chapter 8

  Ren

  If my life was a cake, then Ash Fuller was the rotten cherry on top.

  When he found himself in asshole distance, he took every opportunity to wind me up with a word here or there...or a look. He didn’t have to do very much to piss me off because I wasn’t very happy to begin with. He did nothing to squash the stereotype that all beautiful people were vapid beasts, not that I expected him to. He was just another rung on the ladder that was higher than mine.

  I suppose Dad tried his best to make sure I was okay with things, but he never went over or above. We spoke at the studio and nowhere else. No time for Daddy daughter bonding time when you had a demanding drama queen for a daughter and a Golden Boy to look after.

  Speaking of drama queens, when Monica walked into a room, I walked out of it. When I turned up in her space, she did the same. And that’s how it went for a while. I just existed and trained hard because that was the only tangible thing in my life. The one thing I had complete control over. I went to classes and continued on during the night when all the lights were out and I was alone.

  The Twins noticed that I was changing physically, but they were the only ones apart from Josie. Fuck, Josie. If it wasn’t for Josie and our morning coffee ritual, I would’ve flung myself in front of moving traffic weeks ago. We were so different, yet as friends we just worked.

  Despite all of that, depression was only just a beat away and I didn’t know what to do about it. I was hanging on by a thread.

  Standing inside the gym, I stared out into the studio, half day dreaming, half ogling Ash like I had a death wish. He trained like the devil himself was biting at his heels. If I was ever going to admire the guy for something, it'd probably be that. His dedication to his sport. It showed physically in every inch of his body. It made me want to vomit admitting it, but he was perfect. No wonder everyone with tits and a vagina wanted to fuck him. I did. All the women in the self-defense class did. I didn’t want to know what he got up to when he wasn’t here, because he was fucking someone and that someone wasn’t me. Like I should give a crap.

  He chose the moment I was staring at his ass to glance up at me. Feeling a flush start to rise up my neck, I shook my head as if it would stop it. It didn’t and when Ash saw, he gave me a wink. Asshole.

  Like a kick to the guts for good measure, Monica prowled onto the scene from stage left and began to put her poisonous claws all over him. Ash’s gaze met mine again and his eyes narrowed slightly. I never thought I’d ever be in the position to hate my own sister as much as I did. I never thought I’d have a sister, period. Bile rose in the back of my throat and I realized it was jealousy. Great.

  There was a loud cough, and glancing up, I saw it was Dean who'd appeared to glare with me.

  “Didn't take long,” he said with a sneer.

  “Don't sound so overjoyed,” I replied with just as much enthusiasm.

  “Look who's talking.”

  “Why do I care? The guy is an asshole to me twenty four seven.” I turned and looked Dean up and down and he shook his head.

  “Hell no,” he exclaimed. “Don't even think of going there, Ren.”

  “I don’t know what you see in her.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Neither do I.”

  Glancing back, I scowled. I didn’t know what was worse. Knowing it or admitting it.

  Ash was tall, muscular and boyishly handsome. He was tattooed, driven and hard working. He had these green eyes that just said it all. Just one look into them and you'd know there was more to him than just those handful of things on the surface.

  One look at him and I didn't have to be a genius to know that he was out of my league. There was a time of day and he would never give it to me. He wouldn't look in the first place.

  It's not like I was one of those women who was pretty without knowing it. I wasn't pretty at all. I was normal. Plain. I didn't exist on the radar of the outrageously beautiful. I was the wait staff in his over-privileged, over-priced life. He was there merely to remind me of my place on the bottom rung of the ladder, that even though he was all of those things, I would always wind up alone in the end.

  Plaything. Toy. Invisible.

  There was his stratosphere and then there was mine. The two didn't intertwine. They never even came close.

  Now, Monica. She was in his stratosphere. She was so completely in it that she may as well be the bloody thing. She was the sun and he was the planets. Good fucking luck to them.

  Jumping on a bike, I decided to go full tilt until I passed out, because unconsciousness was better than watching that story unfold.

  Chapter 9

  Ash

  I needed to do a few sets on the weights before cutting out for the day, but Ren was still in there, going hell for leather on a bike.

  I couldn’t see her face from out in the studio, but I knew her well enough to know her eyes would be full of fire. Hate, dislike…jealousy? All for me. Shit, I shouldn’t lead Monica on like I did, but she made it so easy. Everything she did was an excuse to touch me. She was still a kid when I was here the first time. I was twenty-two and I didn’t know what was good for me where women were concerned, but I did know about jail bait. If I wanted to get all technical about it, at twenty-six, I still didn’t know shit.

  Monica was twenty-one now, but she was still Coach’s daughter and the only way that that would go down is if it was a relationship. Fuck that. Those kinda things needed to go both ways.

  When Ren finally emerged from the gym, she looked like she was going to pass out. Her gaze never left the floor as she stalked past me without a sideways glance and disappeared into the back.

  Dean and Linc were already well into their sets when I went into the gym and they both eyed me with I don’t know what. I never knew if it was jealousy or annoyance, but either way, they weren’t glad I was back.

  “What’s with her?” I asked, dumping my water bottle and towel in the corner.

  “Don't even think of going there,” Linc said, narrowing his eyes.

  “Fuck man,” I said. “She's Coach's daughter.”

  “Doesn't stop you from leading on Monica,” Dean said, lifting his weight with a grunt.

  “Ren appeared out of nowhere,” I argued, ignoring Dean. Everyone but Monica knew he had a stiffy for her. “Sure as fuck gunna ask a couple of questions about it. Never mentioned her pussy.”

  “Mate, Ren's one of the good ones,” Dean said, starting to get all pissy. “Don't fuck with her.”

  “Don't plan on it.�
�

  Linc watched me for a moment before he said, “She's a year older than Monica. Coach left her Mum when Ren was five and she had to look after her.”

  I frowned. “Look after her?”

  “Her Mum had cancer.”

  Fuck. Leaving a five year old kid with a Mum that was sick with cancer? That wasn't the Coach I knew, but I could say the same for myself. Nobody knew the real Ash Fuller and that fuck was capable of anything.

  “Like I said,” Dean grunted. “Don’t fuck with her.”

  I couldn’t help myself. “Or what? You’ll fuck with me?”

  “We will fuck with you,” Linc said, glaring.

  Snorting, I turned to setup the barbells. I didn’t want to hurt Ren, that wasn't the problem. The problem was the fact that I couldn’t help myself. Just by being here I was hurting her because I knew she was attracted to me, but what she didn’t know was that I was attracted to her. I didn’t just want to fuck her, I wanted to know her and that was a mind fuck in itself. Nothing good would come out of that.

  I couldn’t leave Beat, because there wasn’t anyone else that wanted to take me on after my spectacular disqualification. I was a loose cannon that was always on the brink of exploding and nobody wanted to be collateral damage. Coach was the only guy out there that wanted to take a chance on an ass like me.

  I couldn’t leave that and to an extent, I couldn’t leave Ren either.

  What a fucking cunt.

  Chapter 10

  Ren

  I stared into the foam of my coffee like it was going to divine my bleak future. Or at least hold all the answers that were forever out of my grasp.

  Josie kicked me under the table. “What’s with you?” she asked. “You’re all sad sack this morning.”

  I shrugged. Meeting Josie at the coffee shop had become the most normal, regular thing in my life. She was the only one who listened and gave a crap and in turn, she told me outrageous stories all related to her dating life which was like a non stop party. Seriously, our morning ritual was like an episode of Sex and the City.

  “Ren, seriously. You can tell me anything. I’ve told you some pretty embarrassing crap for only knowing you a few weeks.”

  I cracked a small smile. She was right. “Like the Jack Rabbit?”

  “Oh fuck, don’t remind me.” Covering her face with her hands she pretended to be embarrassed. “The most memorable one night stand, like ever. All for the wrong reasons, mind you. How could a guy think he could get a woman off fucking her like a bloody rabbit on acid? Shit. It was totally pow, pow, pow.” She did the action with her fingers. “I was bow legged for a week.”

  I snorted with laughter. “Oh my god.”

  She widened her eyes comically. “I didn’t say that. Not in a good way.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “I needed a laugh.”

  “What’s up, though? Is the mega bitch giving you problems? Do I need to come crack some skulls?” Josie placed her palms on the table leaning close. “Please tell me I can come to Beat and perv on some hotties.”

  “They’re not hotties.” They were.

  “Ren, you’re holding out on me. Not fair! From everything you’ve told me, they all sound like bloody Calvin Klein models. And I want to see this Monica so I can see how butt ugly she really is.”

  “You’re really sweet, Josie, but that’s a little much.”

  “What about Ash?” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down. “It sounds like he’s got you riled up in more ways than one.”

  God, Josie was sex mad. “We’ve never gotten along. Ever since he turned up in the middle of the night like he owned the joint…”

  “What do you mean? He broke into the place?”

  “No, he knew the code on the alarm. I thought he was a robber and tried to smack him out with a cricket bat.”

  “You did what?” she shrieked, causing Seth the coffee guy to glance over and smile. “You never told me you tried to conk him on the head.” She put down her glass and looked thoughtful for a second. “Did you get him?”

  “Josie!”

  “From everything you’ve told me, he’s an ass. If that bat connected, then good for you.” She tapped her temple with a manicured fingernail. “That’s intuition.”

  “No, I didn’t get him.”

  “Damn. Tough break.”

  “Monica’s got her hands over him all the time and it’s just…Ugh.” I slumped back in the chair feeling totally defeated.

  Thankfully ignoring me, Josie declared, “So, when do I get to perv on some hot man meat?”

  “You did not just say hot man meat.” I rolled my eyes, reaching for the sugar. Serotonin, yeah, I needed some happy chemicals bouncing in my brain.

  “C’mon. I don’t have to be into work until eleven today. Ren...” She suddenly became serious. “I need this. Let me drink in the hotness with my eyes. I promise not to touch.”

  Laughing, I shook my head. “You’re too much.”

  “Please.” She gave me puppy dog eyes.

  “Oh, okay.”

  She clapped her hands, a look of pure excitement on her face. Yeah, if this was an episode of Sex and the City, then Josie would be Samantha.

  “Goodie, let’s go now.”

  I had to give her points for enthusiasm as we walked the short distance around the corner to Beat. I held the side door open as she waltzed inside, eyes wide and excited like a kid on Christmas morning.

  My heart twisted as I spotted Ash at the back, half hidden behind the row of bags. He shoved a shoulder into one, obscuring everything but the line of his strong back and perfect ass as Lincoln flexed his arms, getting ready to pound the shit out of it. I hated how my body reacted around him. Hated it with all that I had.

  “Oh my lord,” Josie declared, her jaw dropping open. “It's all Greek God in here.” She fanned herself with her free hand. “Seriously, Ren. I'm swooning. If I fainted will one of them catch me?”

  I started to laugh as Dean walked out of the kitchen. He saw us standing by the door and gave us a wink.

  “Oooohhh, look at that one,” Josie declared, beginning to foam at the mouth.

  “You want to join a class?” I asked and she made a face.

  “Really? You just asked me to do exercise? Voluntarily? Ren, sweetie, if it involves a complementary rubdown by one of those sexy, hulking twins, give me the contract so I can sign my life over.”

  “Hey, Ren.”

  I glanced up to find Dad approaching us. He looked like a proud father who’s socially retarded daughter had just made her first ever friend. Way to go, Dad. Gold star.

  “This is my Dad, Andrew Miller,” I said dryly, nodding at him, my gaze fixed on Ash’s back. God, I just wanted to be able to ignore him forever.

  “Pleased to meet you,” I vaguely heard in the background.

  “You’ve got a nice place here, Mr. Miller.”

  “Oh shit, Andrew is fine. I’m old enough.”

  Laughter, then an elbow in my side.

  “Ow,” I exclaimed, horrified that I was annoyed at Josie for snapping me out of my Ash induced daydream. Dream? Make that nightmare.

  “Give me the grand tour,” she declared, her eyes narrowing.

  Grimacing, I led her through the studio, showing her the gym, change rooms, showers and the kitchen. Unfortunately, Monica was standing over the stove, stirring something bland in a huge pot, a tea towel flung over her shoulder. As we walked in, I stiffened and Josie glanced at me, an unspoken question in her eyes. I nodded. That was her.

  Monica glanced up at our entrance and flung the wooden spoon on the bench with a dramatic sigh. “I’m busy,” she hissed. “Get out.”

  To my horror, Josie stepped forward. “Oh, you must be Monica.”

  “And who are you?” Monica glared, venom dripping from her voice.

  Josie looked her up and down, sizing her up. When she seemed satisfied, she said, “Fuck, you’re a bitch.”

  My mouth actually dropped open at the same time my heart sw
elled with pride at my feisty BFF. Monica stared, her mouth equally agape.

  Josie smiled. “You better close your mouth, sweetie. You might catch a fly.” Pivoting on her heel, she threaded her arm through mine. “What’s next, Ren? This room is bland.”

  Biting my bottom lip to stop from laughing like a crazy person, I yanked her out into the hall.

  “I’m falling in love with you,” I whispered in her ear.

  Laughing, Josie declared, “I like cock, Ren. Preferably one that’s attached to those bulky twin beefcakes out there.”

  Dropping her arm, I collapsed against the wall, trying not to hyperventilate.

  “FYI, she’s ugly beautiful, Ren. No competition.”

  I frowned. “Ugly beautiful?”

  “So beautiful she's ugly. All surface, hollow inside. If she was a model, she’d do bikini shoots in men’s magazines and suck cock to get an extra page.”

  “Oh god.”

  “Feel better?”

  “Loads.”

  “C’mon,” she said. “What’s upstairs?”

  “My glorious storage closet and the office. You don’t really want to see that. It’s kind of pathetic telling you about it, but seeing it is a whole new level of shame.”

  “Free rent, state of the art kitchen, free use of the gym, hot beefcakes to drool over… Ren, I’d live in the closet if I got to see that all day.”

  “Even with the consolation prize?”

  “Speaking of…” She peered out into the studio. “Where’s the asshole? I’m dying to check him out.”

  “Don’t know. Don’t care.” Tugging Josie’s arm, I led her out and up the stairs into the privacy of the office.

  “It doesn’t seem so bad here, Ren,” Josie said as I closed the door behind us. “Apart from Monica. Took two words to come to the conclusion that she’s an epic bitch.”

  I snorted. “It’s not that bad, I guess. The dynamic is just off. And I sleep in the storeroom.”

  She gave me a smile and leaned against the desk beside me. “Do you like it? Fighting?”