Kisses on Her Christmas List

by Susan Meier

  The casualness of the gesture seeped into her soul. He liked her. She liked him. They were friends. Real friends, who knew the worst about each other’s lives and didn’t feel sorry, didn’t feel put off, simply accepted and understood. She didn’t have to hide things from him. He didn’t have to tiptoe around her. More important, she didn’t have to worry about him finding out. He knew.It was amazing. Suddenly freeing.

  They walked into the kitchen to discover that Finley had already opened the bucket of chicken, chosen a leg and was wrestling with the container of coleslaw.

  Rory said, “I’ll get that.”

  Shannon opened the mashed potatoes and gravy. “And I’ll get this.” She offered the potatoes to Finley. “Would you like some of these?”

  “Yes, please.”

  They ate dinner having a surprisingly relaxed con versation, considering that Finley had asked the big question that afternoon.

  As soon as she was done eating, Finley slid off her chair and tossed her paper plate and plastic fork into the trash. She skipped to the door. “I’m going to get started.”

  Rory bounced off his seat. “Not without us!” He headed for the door, then doubled back and tossed his plate and plastic fork into the trash. “If you have any valuable ornaments, I’d eat quickly and get into the living room before she tries to hang them.”

  With that he raced away and Shannon chuckled, shaking her head. What she wouldn’t give to have them as her real family.

  But she couldn’t. And she did have another night with them. So she rose, tossed her plate and utensils, closed the bucket, put the remaining chicken into the refrigerator and joined them in her living room.

  To her relief, she found Rory stringing lights on the tree, as Finley unspooled them.

  “That’s going to be pretty.”

  Finley beamed. “Yep.”

  Heading to the box containing the ornaments her parents had left behind, she said, “I’ll unwrap these and we can get started.”

  They worked in silence for the next five minutes while Rory finished the lights and Shannon carefully removed the white tissue paper from the ornaments.

  When the lights had been hung on the branches and the star sat at the top of the tree, she said, “Plug them in. We’ll decorate around them.”

  Rory plugged in the lights and the tree twinkled and sparkled, causing Finley to gasp.

  Shannon said, “It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

  She nodded. “Very pretty.”

  Hanging the ornaments wasn’t as simple as stringing the lights. Finley wanted to know the story behind every ornament and if an ornament didn’t have a story, Shannon had to make one up.

  It was ten o’clock before they got all the ornaments hung. When it was time to leave, after Finley had had sufficient time to ohhh and ahhh, Rory carried the cocoa tray to Shannon’s kitchen, leaving Finley with the instruction to put on her boots and coat.

  Shannon held the kitchen door open for Rory. As they walked into the kitchen “White Christmas” was playing on the stereo.

  “Oops. Forgot to turn that off.”

  She reached for it as Rory set the tray on the center island, but before she could click it off, he caught her hand. “I love this song.”

  “I’ll bet! With only two or three snowfalls a year, a white Christmas is probably pretty high on your wish list. But here in snow country there’s never really a happy storm.”

  He laughed, then surprised her by swinging her into his arms to dance. Holding her close, he said, “It’s a pretty song. A happy song. A song about someone wishing for something he might just get.” He laughed again. “Don’t spoil it for me.”

  She said, “I won’t,” but inside her chest her heart pounded like a jackhammer. She told herself that they were only friends. Reminded herself that having a friend, a real friend who knew her secrets and understood her, was a blessedly wonderful feeling. But the sensations rippling through her were every bit as wonderful. She wanted him to like her as more than a friend.

  But she’d snuffed out that possibility, headed it off herself. Her choice.

  The song ended and they pulled away. Gazing into each other’s eyes, they stepped back. Their initial chemistry kicked up again, but she swung away. Carrying the tray to the sink, she laughed shakily. “Somebody who likes snow…sheesh.”

  “Hey. It’s hard to hate something that frequently gets you a day off.”

  She laughed, then heard the sound of the door as he left the kitchen. Knowing he was gone, she braced herself against the countertop and squeezed her eyes shut, letting herself savor the sensation of being held by him. Danced with. Only when she had memorized every feeling swimming through her, tucked it away to pull out on snowy winter nights without him, did she turn from the sink and go out to the foyer.

  Already in her little coat and pink boots, Finley snuggled into her dad’s neck, preparing for sleep. Shannon stood on tiptoes and kissed her cheek. “Good night, sweetie.”

  “G’night.”

  “I’ll see you in the morning?” She made the statement as a question because he’d never really told her a time or day he was leaving. Given that they were spending another night in Green Hill, she suspected he’d stop in the store in the morning.

  She peeked at him expectantly.

  “Yes. We’ll be there in the morning. I want to see Christmas Eve sales. But we do have a four-hour drive, so we’ll be leaving around noon.”

  “Okay.”

  He smiled. “Okay.”

  They stared at each other for a few seconds. She swore she saw longing in his eyes. The same longing that tightened her tummy and put an ache in her chest. Then he broke away and headed for the door.

  When they were gone she sat in front of the tree for twenty minutes. Just looking at it. Wishing she could keep it up forever.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  A FTER BUCKLINGFinley into her car seat, Rory slid behind the wheel of his car, his heart thumping in his chest. Not with excitement, but with recrimination. He knew she was sad. He knew he was responsible for at least a little bit of that sadness.

  But everything between them had happened so fast. Worse, he wasn’t even a hundred-percent sure he was capable of trusting someone enough to love them. He wasn’t steady enough on his feet to believe he should try a relationship with a normal woman. Someone as special as Shannon was too delicate to be his romantic guinea pig.

  The next morning at the store, he wasn’t surprised when Shannon again offered to take Finley around the store for a few hours. Needing to see to a few details, Rory shrugged. “I’ll be walking around the store, too. You don’t have to do this.”

  She smiled. “I want to.”

  Then she gave him some kind of head signal that he didn’t quite understand. So he laughed. Which amazed him. Even as upset as he knew she was, she still had the ability to make him laugh. And to think of others.

  She angled her head toward Finley and nudged twice.

  He still didn’t have a clue.

  So he just went with the program. “Okay. You take Finley and I’ll be a secret shopper again.”

  Finley jumped up and down. “Okay!”

  They walked together to the elevator, but when he got off on the second floor, they continued to the main floor. He walked through the menswear department and poked around in the electronics and small appliances, but couldn’t seem to focus. Technically, he’d seen enough the day before. He could report back to his dad that Raleigh’s had a huge, faithful group of shoppers. At Christmas time, they seemed to sell goods faster than they could restock shelves.

  The store had some drawbacks. It only broke even most months of the year and two months of the year it actually lost money. But Christmas made up for that. In spades.

  So why did he need to walk around anymore? He didn’t.

  He took the stairs to the first floor and glanced around, looking for Shannon and Finley. But the store was packed with customers. He barely squeezed through the aisles on his
quest to find Shannon and his daughter, but finally he saw them standing by the candy counter.

  He edged his way up. “Hey.”

  “Hey!” Shannon turned, smiled at him. “I thought you were shopping?”

  “I think I shopped enough already.”

  She winced. “Is that good or bad news for me?”

  “I shouldn’t really tell you anything because I have to report back to my dad, and he and my brothers and I have to make an official decision…but…I can’t see any reason we’d shy away from a deal.”

  Her eyes sparkled. “Really?”

  Seeing her so happy put the air back in his lungs, the life back in his heart. After everything that had happened between them, this was at least one good thing he could do for her.

  “So Finley and I can go home now.”

  Her head snapped around. “What?”

  “I’m done. We can go home.”

  “But I…” She paused, nudging her head toward Finley. “I didn’t get to buy someone a gift.”

  “You did,” he said. “Remember? You bought a g-a-m-e.”

  “I can spell, Daddy.”

  Rory laughed, but Shannon’s face appeared to be frozen. “I just…you know…I thought we’d have the whole morning.”

  He glanced at his watch, then out the wall of windows fronting the store, at the heavy snowflakes falling. “I thought that, too, but look at the weather.”

  Shannon turned to look, then swallowed. “I thought you liked snow.”

  “In its proper place and time.”

  “Oh.”

  Her eyes filled with tears and Rory suddenly got it. She wanted this time with Finley. He glanced at the snow again. If anything, it seemed to be coming down harder.

  He caught her gaze. “I’m sorry. Really. But if it’s any consolation I can bring Finley back when my dad and I come to present our offer.”

  She swallowed, stepped away. “No. That’s okay. I’m fine.”

  She wasn’t fine. She was crying. He’d made her cry.Guilt and sorrow rippled through him. “I’m sorry.”

  Finley stomped her foot. “Daddy! We were supposed to stay.”

  And Finley the Diva was back. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he had to leave Shannon. Now he had to deal with Ms. Diva.

  “Finley, it’s snowing—”

  “I want to see Santa!”

  Shannon looked down. “What?”

  “I want to see Santa. I want to sit on Santa’s lap.” She stomped her foot. “Right now!”

  Rory had had his fill of giving in to her tantrums, but this one he understood. From the confused look on Shannon’s face, he didn’t think she had promised to take Finley to see Santa, but he did suspect that Finley had intended to ask her to. She’d been taking steps all along toward acclimating to Christmas and now she was finally here.

  Tantrum or not, he wouldn’t deny her this.

  “Okay.”

  Shannon glanced at him. “Okay?”

  He shrugged. “She’s been deprived too long. I think I should do this.” He paused, caught her gaze again. “Want to come?”

  She smiled. The sheen of tears in her eyes told the whole story even before she said, “Sure.”

  He directed Finley away from the candy counter. “Let’s go then.”

  They headed for the elevator and the toy department in the mezzanine that overlooked the first floor like a big balcony. Santa’s throne was in an area roped off and called Santa’s Toy Shop. Shannon led the way as Finley skipped behind her.

  Rory didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. In spite of the long line, Rory kept his patience as they waited. Finley was not so good. She stepped from foot to foot.

  “Don’t be nervous.”

  She glanced at Shannon. “I’m not nervous. I need to get there!”

  Finally, their turn came. Finley raced over to Santa as if he were her long-lost best friend.

  Rory snorted a laugh. “Look at her. This time last year—this time last week!—she didn’t even believe in him. Just a few days ago, she thought of him as a cartoon character. Now look at her!”

  Shannon blinked back tears. “I think she’s cute.”

  His heart stuttered a bit. Shannon always behaved like a mom to Finley and when he saw her tears his own perspective changed. He swallowed the basketball-size lump in his throat. “Yeah, she is cute.”

  “Ho, ho, ho!” Santa said. “And what would you like for Christmas, little girl?”

  “Can you really give me what I want?” she demanded.

  Rory hung his head in shame. “Oh, no. This could get ugly.”

  Shannon put her hand on his bicep. “Just be patient. Give her a chance.”

  He glanced down at her, once again grateful for her support, his heart hurting in his chest. He liked her so much. But it had all happened so fast and the choices he’d have to make were too big, but the most important thing was he didn’t want to risk hurting her.

  Santa boomed a laugh. Glancing at Rory and Shannon he winked. “Well, I can’t make promises, but I do try my best.”

  “Okay, then I want you to make Shannon happy again.”

  Santa frowned. “What?”

  Finley pointed at Shannon. “That’s Shannon. She’s my friend. I wish she was my mother. But this morn ing she got sad. Really sad.” Her nose wrinkled. “I even think I saw her cry.” She faced Santa. “I don’t want her to be sad. Make her happy again.”

  Santa—aka Rick Bloom, manager of the toy department—cast an awkward look in Shannon’s direction. He clearly didn’t know what to say.

  Shannon’s eyes filled with tears. Though it was strange having a child announce her sadness in front of a roomful of kids and parents waiting to see Santa, her heart looked past that and saw the small child who cared about her enough to ask Santa to make her happy again.

  Rory slowly walked over to Santa. He stooped in front of Finley. “Santa actually only handles requests for gifts.”

  Finley’s face puckered. “Why? If he can fly around the world in one night, he can do all kinds of things.”

  “Yeah, but—” Obviously confused, Rory glanced back at her.

  Holding back her tears, Shannon went over. She also stooped in front of Finley. “Honey, all of Santa’s miracles pretty much involve toys.”

  “Well, that’s a bummer.”

  Shannon couldn’t help it. She laughed. Rory laughed, too. Santa chuckled. The parents waiting in line with their kids laughed and shuffled their feet.

  But in spite of her laughter, Shannon’s heart squeezed with love. She would miss this little girl terribly. When the tears sprang to her eyes again, she rose and whispered, “Tell Santa what toys you want for Christmas. Okay?”

  Finley nodded. She glanced back at Rick and rattled off a list of toys. Rory stepped over beside her. “I’ll have to remember to get all those things.”

  She nodded, but turned away. Real tears burned in her throat now. He liked her. He understood her. He needed her. And his daughter liked her.

  Rory’s hand fell to her shoulders. “Hey. Are you okay?”

  She sniffed. “Finley’s just so sweet.”

  He laughed. “Only because of you.”

  Because her back was to him, she squeezed her eyes shut.

  “Are you not going to look at me?”

  She shook her head. If she turned around he’d see her tears and she was just plain tired of being pathetic.

  A few seconds went by without him saying anything. Finally, he turned her around, saw her tears.

  He looked at the ceiling then sighed. “I’m so sorry this didn’t work out.”

  She swiped at her tears, aware that at least thirty parents, thirty customers,were watching her. Not to mention employees. People who didn’t know her secrets. People she didn’t wantto know her secrets.

  “It’s fine. You want the store. That’s why you came. To see the store.” She swallowed again. “It’s fine.”

  “Don’t you think I wish it could have been di
fferent between us? I like you. But I’m more damaged than you are. I won’t take the risk that I’ll hurt you more.”

  She sniffed. Nodded. “I get it.”

  “I don’t think you do—”

  “Ho, ho, ho!”

  Recognizing the voice as her father’s, Shannon snapped her head up and spun around. “Daddy?”

  Dressed as Santa himself, carrying a sack of gifts, Dave Raleigh strode toward Santa’s throne, gesturing broadly. “I’d like to thank my helper here for taking my place for a while this morning, but I’m here now.” He dropped the sack just as her mom strode over.

  Dressed in a festive red pantsuit, with her hair perfectly coiffed, Stacy Raleigh said, “Silly old coot. I tried to talk him out of this but you know how he loves Christmas.”

  Just then Finley scampered over. Her mom smiled. “And who is this?”

  “Mom—” she gestured to Rory “—this is Rory Wallace.”

  Her mom extended her hand to shake his. “Ah, the gentleman who came to see the store.”

  “Yes.” She motioned to Finley. “And this is his daughter, Finley.”

  Stacy stooped down. “Well, aren’t you adorable?”

  Finley said, “Yes, ma’am.”

  And Shannon laughed. But she also saw her way out of this painful and embarrassing situation. She caught Rory’s arm and turned him in the direction of the stairway off the Santa-throne platform. “Thank you for a wonderful visit. We’ll look forward to hearing from you after the holidays.”

  She stooped and kissed Finley’s cheek. Unable to stop herself she wrapped Finley in a big hug and whispered, “I love you,” in her ear.

  Finley squeezed back and whispered, “I love you, too.”

  Then she rose and relinquished Finley into her dad’s custody. She watched them walk down the stairs, then raced to the half wall of the mezzanine and watched as they squeezed through the first-floor sales floor, watched as they walked through the door and out into the falling snow.

  Her mom caught her forearm. “Shannon?”

  The tears welling in her eyes spilled over. “I want to go home.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  S HANNON’S MOTHERdeposited her in the living room, left and returned with a cup of tea. “Drink this.”