by C. J. Abedi
And so we lived.
A peaceful, blissful life for nine incredible months. A life filled with laughter.
Happiness.
And love.
We were so fortunate, Arthur and I. So lucky.
And then the moment arrived.
I was at the stream, soaking in the beautiful sun, as it was a gorgeous summer day. I was relishing my joy, thinking about all that the future would hold for us, excited that my baby girl would be arriving any minute. Suddenly Arthur appeared out of nowhere, running in my direction.
“Eleanor!” he shouted, holding a sword in his hand. “I must get you out of here!”
I rose in fear.
“What is it? What has happened?”
“He knows,” he told me, his eyes wild with fear. “He found out, and he’s coming for me. For you. For our baby. He will stop at nothing to destroy you and our baby.”
In a moment my entire world had just crashed down around me.
“Why?” I asked in terror, even though I already knew the answer.
“Because he is a monster,” Arthur replied trying to calm me even though it was useless. “Because I chose to love you. I chose to love a human. We have married and you now carry a Halfling. I have defied the laws. I have committed a crime in loving you.”
How was love a crime?
How was loving anyone or anything a crime?
Arthur took my hands in his. He kissed each palm, leaned down, and placed his soft lips on mine. I could feel his love. His passion. Every emotion he had for me. My heart was beating in fear, and the panic that had come over me was like nothing I had ever known.
He pulled back from me and cradled my face in his strong palms.
“I do not regret one day, one second that we’ve spent together. You are my life. My love. And this child is proof of everything we’ve felt for one another.”
“What are you saying to me?”
“I have to go and plead our case. I will speak to him, to Alderon.”
“No! You cannot!” I screamed. “He will destroy you!”
Arthur’s smile was bittersweet.
“I cannot allow anything to happen to you.”
My sobs were uncontrollable. I could not stop shaking from my sadness and grief.
“What will I do by myself?”
Arthur placed his hand on my swollen belly.
“Our daughter is half of me. She is a testament of our love. I will come for you both.”
He placed a gentle kiss on my stomach and whispered something to our child. Then he said, “I love you, Eleanor.”
He wiped away my tears and kissed me one final time.
“I love you, Arthur.”
I watched him disappear into the woods. And I knew it would be the last time I would ever set eyes on him again.
And I was right.
C
“A queen?” Teddy stated as he stared at me in shock. “I don’t understand.”
My mother rightfully didn’t want my father to know any of the details of my current life. But I knew that I couldn’t go back to school without telling my best friend. I couldn't pass him in the halls, sit next to him in class, and keep this major piece of personal information from him.
If the tables were turned, he would never keep it from me, and so I wouldn’t do that to him. I texted Teddy in the morning and asked him to come over to the Westmoreland mansion.
He surprisingly hadn’t questioned me.
Not even asking why I was there.
That was so like him. He never pressured me, not ever. I just hoped this new revelation wouldn’t change our friendship. But how could it not change, I thought as he stared at me in open-mouthed shock. I knew it would take some time for him to get used to the new me. I just hoped that it didn’t take too long.
“Caroline?” Teddy asked me again with round eyes. “I don't understand.”
“You’ve already said that.”
“I know. I just. I just don’t understand. Queen? You?”
“Yeah. I mean I guess,” I said to him. “I’m a Queen.”
Teddy ran a hand through his thick blond hair and with that one gesture he went from being completely confused to accepting, as he let out a whistle.
“Wow.”
His keen blue eyes then took in my appearance.
“Now that I'm really looking at you, I guess you kind of look like one,” Teddy said with an appreciative smile.
“What?” I said nervously. “What do you mean?”
He waved a hand at me. I was wearing brand new black skinny jeans and a thick sweater, courtesy of Tatiana and my new wardrobe. My hair was down and I had even put on some lip-gloss and mascara.
“This whole look. You seem more confident,” he said. “It’s so different from the Caroline I knew before.”
Different.
Yes, I guess I was a whole new Caroline.
“So what are you thinking?” I asked. “What are you really thinking?”
Even though Teddy had a laid-back nature I still found it hard to believe he was accepting all of this so easily. Did he even understand what I was saying?
“It makes sense,” Teddy said. “I mean you were always so weird.”
I gave him a playful punch.
“I’m serious,” Teddy continued. “And everything about Devilyn that I found so bizarre—now I know why I did.”
“And all the magik stuff I mentioned?”
“Well that’s pretty intense but I think I can deal,” Teddy said. “I mean magik is cool. And totally fine.”
“Fine?”
“Caroline,” Teddy explained. “Think about it. We grew up on Harry Potter and fantasy video games, not to mention all the comic books I read. I mean this is super cool, actually. And totally believable.”
I leaned back in the couch and burst out laughing.
“I’m speechless,” I told Teddy. “When it’s you that should be.”
“Please,” he said with a smile. “I can’t wait for you to show me all of your abilities and figure out if some of them can rub off on me. I’m your best friend, after all.”
“I wish,” I said honestly.
We both sat in silence for a while.
“So what now?” he finally asked me.
“I don’t really know,” I replied. “I mean, Odin and Devilyn have asked me to stay here for a while. They think they can protect me from Alderon and Puck. And then hopefully when the dust settles I’m going to go back to my parents’ house—”
“And what about you and Devilyn?” Teddy said.
I closed my eyes to hide from my best friend’s knowing gaze.
“We don’t have a future,” I told him. “It’s that simple. We can’t be together. So I’m not going to think about it anymore.”
“Well I’m glad you’re thinking clearly,” Teddy agreed. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“Will it?” I asked him with a small smile. I knew he was being protective.
“The Fates and the rest of all these magic people seem to think something will,” Teddy said, half-serious. “And I don’t know much about all this stuff, but I’m thinking that you should listen to what everyone is saying. Obviously, there’s some sort of bad juju that’s linked to you two.”
“Bad juju?” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Yes,” he said. “It’s a word.”
“So not a word.”
I sighed. “It just sucks, Teddy. I finally meet someone I really care about. More than care about. Love. And we can’t be together.”
The look on Teddy’s face was one of pure sympathy. I couldn’t even bear looking at it.
“I’m really sorry, Caroline,” he said as he reached out for my hand. “I don’t mean to sound corny, but I thought you’d found the one. I was secretly jealous.”
I let him pull me into his strong embrace and I buried myself in his arms.
“You are one of the strongest people I know. I know you. And I know that you aren�
�t going to let anything get you down. Even in this ridiculously insane situation,” Teddy continued against my hair.
“I wish I could go back to being just regular Caroline Ellis.”
“She was kind of boring though,” Teddy laughed as he kissed the top of my head.
“Am I interrupting something?”
Like a spontaneous combustion Teddy and I flew out of each other’s arms at the sound of Devilyn’s sharp tone.
His eyes were his tell. Everything that he was feeling could be seen through his piercing gaze. And he didn’t look happy. Which infuriated me even more. He wanted me for himself, but wasn’t willing to risk all that came with it.
He was so tall he practically swallowed the room with his presence. He was dressed in light blue distressed jeans and a light gray cashmere sweater that fit his muscular chest and accentuated his sinewy arms.
I longed to run into his strong embrace and kiss that frown of his away. I wondered who would be the lucky girl to get his attention. Thinking about this made me even angrier and I responded in kind.
“Actually, you kind of are,” I told him boldly. “Interrupting.”
The look of surprise on his face was all I needed to know I was challenging him.
“Is that so?”
I lifted my chin in defiance and heard Teddy let out low chuckle as he scooted away from me. “Great to see you Devilyn, or I guess I should call you King Devilyn? Or your Royal Highness?” he said. “Sorry, I suck at formalities.”
Devilyn rolled his eyes and ignored his comment, planting himself right in front of the coffee table.
His eyes were glued to me as he spoke to Teddy.
“So now you know everything.”
“Yeah, pretty intense,” Teddy replied.
“Do you have any questions?” He continued staring at me.
“I’m sitting right here in case you wanted to direct that question to me, since I’m assuming it was meant for me,” Teddy said. I could feel my cheeks burn from the intensity in Devilyn’s gaze and I knew Teddy didn’t miss it. I hated that my body reacted so obviously. My insides were flipping, while he looked calm, cool, and collected. If he hadn’t shown such an obvious reaction to Teddy’s embrace I would have thought that he didn’t care. He was so good at gathering his emotions. That was something I definitely needed to work on.
“Sorry,” Devilyn said with an unapologetic shrug.
“Caroline’s answered most of my questions anyway,” Teddy replied.
“I just can’t seem to take my eyes off her,” Devilyn said, completely ignoring Teddy’s comment.
He didn’t just say that.
God.
What was wrong with him?
My knees went weak while the butterflies began to dance around my stomach again. How was I going to last here? Before I could even contemplate a reply, Teddy came to my defense.
“Listen, Devilyn,” he said in a disapproving tone. “When I said Caroline told me everything, I mean I know everything. Do you think comments like that are fair to her?”
“Teddy—” I began.
“No,” Devilyn interrupted. “They’re not. But I promised to always speak the truth to Caroline. So she should know.”
I stood up abruptly before Teddy could respond. My new strategy, since all others had failed in the past, was to ignore whatever insinuations Devilyn made and just walk away whenever I thought I couldn’t handle what he did to my heart.
“I think Teddy has had a long morning and needs a break from all of this,” I said to him. “Tatiana is actually waiting for us. She mentioned playing cards. Mindless activity sounds like heaven to me right now.”
When Teddy and I moved to leave, Devilyn stepped in front of me, blocking my exit.
His gaze was inscrutable.
I tried to step around him but he moved with me.
“What are you doing?” I asked, frustrated.
I watched the battle rage inside him as I looked up at him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“For what part?”
“All of it.”
I placed my hand on his chest and could feel his muscles clench from my touch. Knowing that I affected him made me feel powerful.
“I know,” I replied as I moved around him.
I didn’t think he deserved another response.
I tried to give Teddy a bright smile, but he knew me better than that. He placed his arm around my shoulder in reassurance as we walked out of the room.
Seconds later, I thought I heard a glass shatter, but I couldn’t be sure.
• • •
Teddy stayed for lunch and left late in the afternoon. We actually had a great rest of the day, carefully avoiding any topic of my potential impending doom. Tatiana entertained us with tales of the Fae and was excited to finally show off her magikal skills to Teddy, who if possible seemed to become even more infatuated with her. He was totally geeking out, but Tatiana’s playfulness helped Teddy take everything in, and by the time he left I honestly felt that it all seemed to make sense to him now.
Later in the evening, I was in my room getting ahead on an English paper when my mom came in to see me.
“This room is much better than yours at home,” she said as she looked around at the opulent surroundings.
“You may not believe it but I actually prefer my own bedroom.”
Famous ran into her arms and gave her a warm greeting.
“I don’t know if Famous would agree,” she said with a laugh.
“He does,” I said. “And more than the room, I prefer being at home with my family.”
“Thank God,” my mom said, “because I don’t know how we could ever compete with this.”
When my mom pulled me into her embrace I felt like life was right again.
“How’s Dad?” I asked her.
“Well, he’s fine,” my mom admitted. “I do find it strange that he doesn’t even ask about you or Famous. I know it’s the magik stuff that Odin was referring to but it’s a little disconcerting.”
“I’ll bet.” I replied secretly wishing we didn’t have to use magik to protect my father.
“What a view,” my mom said as we sat on the couch, looking out over Odin’s maze. “This place is unreal.”
Literally, I thought to myself.
“I’m safe here. Everyone has been so generous and understanding,” I told her to ease any discomfort she might have.
My mom studied my face. She was very good at reading my moods.
“So what have you been up to today?” she finally asked.
“Teddy came by earlier and stayed for a bit, which was nice. I told him everything and he kind of didn’t seem surprised. He really handled it like a pro.”
“That’s Teddy for you,” my mom said.
“So now the people in my life that matter to me the most, know. Except for Dad, of course. But I do agree that it’s better not to say anything yet considering all the stress he’s been under this past year.” I leaned back on the couch. “And before you came I was just working on my English paper.”
“Good,” my mom said and patted my hand. “And how are you doing with Devilyn?”
“Is it that obvious?” I sighed.
“I’m your mother,” she said. “I know my girl.”
I shrugged.
“This is so the type of conversation I don’t want to have with you. But I’m happy I can. Because it’s awful,” I admitted. “I never imagined feeling so strongly about someone and I feel so ridiculous about it. It’s really devastating, Mom. I’m around him. I get to see him. But I can’t be with him. And it all just seems so cruel.”
My mother leaned close and brushed my hair away from my face.
“Oh honey,” she said. “I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. It’s all so overwhelming. I wish I could say that you’ll get over it, but in this case I think it’s going to take a lot of time.”
“I know it is.”
“But there’s not
hing you can do to change the circumstances that you’re in right now,” she told me. “You’ve just got to learn how to live with it, as awful as it sounds. And channel that girl that you were before you met him. The one who didn’t need anyone. The one who was and is so resilient.”
“I’m trying, Mom,” I said solemnly.
“I know you are. And I also know that you’re going to be just fine.”
I looked away from her bright gaze, on the verge of bursting into tears. My mom always had a way of making me see the big picture. It wasn’t until she confirmed my strength that I actually started believing it.
“Listen, even with everything I’ve said, I want you to know it’s okay if you want to cry,” she told me as she ran her hand across my back. “I’d find it odd if you didn’t.”
“I have more important things to focus now on Mom.”
D
When did my life become so complicated?
I was shrouded in chaos.
Nothing made sense to me anymore.
Why was it that we spent our lives searching for the person who made us complete only to learn that we couldn’t be with them? Why place that person in your road to begin with if they weren’t meant to go down with you to the end of it? I had spent so much time around so many different women. Beautiful women. Smart women. A combination of both. Looking back, I realized they paled in comparison to Caroline.
When I had walked in the room and found her wrapped in Teddy’s arms, I went cold. I knew that was what it would be like for me in the future. I would see her with someone else, and there would be absolutely nothing I could do about it. I wouldn’t be able to pull her into my arms and tell her that I needed her more.
Because only an insane person would behave that way.
Because I would be risking her life.
Teddy’s words had such truth to them, even if they were so difficult to hear. My behavior toward Caroline would always be my cross to bear. I couldn’t keep talking to Caroline like we were still together. Everything that had occurred with us, up until then, was on me. I just needed to accept the pain and somehow find a way to deal with it.
I couldn’t help myself when I was around her. Because when I was with her, all sanity left my mind.
