by C. J. Abedi
It wasn’t fair to Caroline.
And I needed to finally do right by her.
First, though, I needed to make her understand.
I took a walk around the property to clear my head and waited patiently for her mom to leave the house. I had intentionally avoided seeing Mrs. Ellis. That was the last thing I needed. I couldn’t bring myself to look into the eyes of the woman who had raised Caroline, who would kill me if I continued to hurt her.
Odin had assured me that he had placed magical protection around her parents so that Puck and Alderon could not hurt them. He had given Mrs. Ellis a necklace that would prevent Puck from taking over her body. He had also left an amulet for Caroline’s father, so they would both be safe. The amulet would also alert us if they were in danger.
When Mrs. Ellis was safely off the property, I made my way back to the house and to Caroline’s room.
I knocked.
Once.
Twice.
And then she answered.
Her hair was wet from the shower. She was wearing a white terry cloth robe which was ten times too big for her, but I had never see anything more desirable in my life. How was I going to survive the torture of Caroline Ellis living under the same roof as me, right next door to my bedroom—close enough to touch but off limits?
Her gray eyes went wide when she saw me, and she pulled the robe close around her body.
“Devilyn?”
“Sorry,” I said softly. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”
“Is everything okay?” she asked as she watched me cautiously.
“Can I come in?”
When she didn’t immediately say yes, I rushed to explain. “I thought we could talk privately about a few things.”
It seemed to take forever for her to answer.
“Okay,” she finally said and turned around to let me in the room. “I just need to change and I’ll be right back.”
I nodded and took a look around. Her room smelled like her sweet perfume and had traces of her presence all over it. Her cardigan lay against a chair in the corner of the room. Her books on the nightstand, next to a glass of her water and a bracelet she always wore. Her strawberry scented lotion on the vanity. In less than a day Caroline had made the room hers. And it felt right that she was here.
“If you’ve come here to try and talk me out of going to school tomorrow—” she began in a challenging voice.
“No,” I interrupted. “I know I can’t do that. I know how stubborn you are, or at least how stubborn you’ve become.”
Silence.
“Then what?” she asked coming out of her closet in a pair of light pink sweatpants and top.
I was standing against her large window when she emerged, and I could see her silhouette. She didn’t move from the door frame, continuing to stand as far away from me as possible.
“Since we’ve gotten back, we haven’t really had a chance to talk—clear the air,” I began. “I know there’s a lot of tension between us, but I want you to know that I’m going to be wherever you are starting tomorrow and I’m not letting you be alone.”
She nodded curtly.
“I figured as much,” she said.
“Since you agree,” I began.
“I didn’t say I agree.”
“Given that you understand the predicament,” I corrected myself, amused by her feistiness, “I think it’s best that we just pretend that everything is normal. Like the way it was. Everyone will assume we’re still dating. It’s just easier.”
She stared back at me pensively. I couldn’t tell if she was angry, ready to pummel me for even suggesting such a ludicrous idea, or kick me out of her room.
But she paused instead.
And just stared.
I waited for her to argue against it, something she had become very good at lately. After what felt like a good ten minutes of dead silence, she finally spoke up.
“I’ve thought about it too, and I understand why we have to pretend.”
I let out a mental sigh of relief.
“Perfect.”
“But we can’t have it go on forever,” she said, cutting into my short moment of happiness.
I turned around to face her as she continued to lean against the frame.
“Clearly,” I said.
“So I’ve actually thought of a plan as well,” she told me.
“A plan?”
“Rowan,” Caroline stated.
“What about him?” I dreaded what she was going to say to me.
“We’ll have a little love triangle and then I’ll choose him.”
I felt as though she kicked me in the stomach.
“Rowan?” I asked sharply. “You’ll choose Rowan?”
She nodded confidently.
“Yes,” she said. “And you will graciously step aside when I do, and after some time apart we can all eventually be friends.”
Graciously step aside? As if—
“That way, Rowan can protect me at all times and it will be a lot more comfortable for all of us.”
Had Caroline’s brain stopped functioning? Did she hit her head and somehow I wasn’t aware of it?
“Caroline, I don’t think that you understand my position. I’m not going to allow anyone to take care of you or protect you. No one. Not Rowan, not Teddy. Just me and me alone.”
She crossed her arms.
“Listen, this caveman attitude isn’t going to gain you any favors, Devilyn,” she said. “You are not the only person in our town who is equipped to protect me from your people. Rowan is a warrior. Rowan is strong and smart, and we’re friends. And to be frank, I can’t continue to pretend to date you. It’s too hard. This scenario makes the most sense. It’s a perfect way to transition out of our relationship.”
Her words stung. My people. She thought of me as one of them.
Dark and dangerous.
“No.” I knew my voice was harsh, but I couldn’t help it.
“No?” Caroline looked confused.
“No.” I tried to keep the bite out of my tone.
Her eyes were blazing. “So let me get this straight. You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me?”
“You’ve got it all wrong,” I said.
“I don’t think so.”
It was all I could do not to reach out and touch her cheek.
“I do want you,” I whispered. “More than anything.”
“Please leave,” she whispered.
She was right.
There was nothing left to say.
• • •
Hours later, after finally falling asleep when all I could do was picture Caroline curled up in the bed next door, I woke up in a panic. It was the same recurring nightmare that had plagued me for weeks.
"It is only a dream," Odin said trying to ease my pain.
I wasn’t surprised to see him in my room, sitting next to me in the chair. Trying to protect me like a dream catcher with his shield.
“Trust me, son,” Odin said again.
“You know as well as I, that it is my future,” I told him.
“What did you see this time?” his voice was gentle.
“The vision is always the same. I stand in the halls that once held the throne of the Dark King and I am all alone.”
“What else, my son?” he asked.
“I walk the empty halls and I relive it all,” I told him, closing my eyes hoping to hide against the picture that seemed embedded in my mind. “From the Dark Kingdom I find myself walking into the forest of the Light. I go through an embankment and I am suddenly in the circle of the ancients, and they are all gathered.”
“The ancients?”
“Her people,” I said to Odin as I ran my hands through my hair. “Caroline’s people. They are standing around her lifeless body paying respect. And she is gone. I walk up to her body and I know her soul has left the earth. I can’t bear to see it so I turn away in horror, expecting to face her people but instead I see a visi
on of myself.”
Odin rose and sat at the edge of my bed, “A vision?”
I looked over at him. “It’s a glimpse of myself. Then I become him.”
Chapter Nine
“Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute.”
—Edgar Allan Poe
Roanoke Island, North Carolina
The Year of our Lord, 1591
Eleanor Dare
It was Virginia’s third birthday.
My daughter and I had celebrated with the villagers. She was so happy, full of life. And beautiful. My sweet perfection. When the celebration was over, I took her hand and ventured out into the forest near the stream so she could play in the cool water. It was our little ritual together, our time to play away from the prying and protective eyes of the villagers. I thought this day would be as it always had been, a quiet time together.
Except this day would be different for my daughter.
The day Arthur left me to face Alderon was bittersweet. It was the same day that Virginia had been born. A wondrous love entered my world, while another left. I knew then I would never see him again. Though the birth of my daughter gave me great joy, the pain I felt from Arthur’s loss was staggering.
The night I gave birth to Virginia was one I would never forget. After she arrived, I insisted that everyone leave the room. The baby cried while I sat alone in the home Arthur had built for us, wishing he was there to help me ease her pain. I felt him everywhere. Yet, he was nowhere to be found.
I wondered how I would ever get over him.
Then I heard a rattling at the door before it opened magically on its own. Sitting up in fear, I wondered if it was Alderon coming for me.
But it was not.
It was the most beautiful woman I had ever set eyes on. She was a vision. Simply stunning, with big green eyes and flowing brown hair, she took my breath away. She stared at me for a long while before moving away from the door, which shut behind her, to come and stand above me.
“You should be asleep,” she said to me in an intense voice.
“Who are you?”
“Arthur’s mother. My name is Esmerelda.”
My eyes filled with tears.
“Where is Arthur?” I asked even though I already knew the answer.
She looked at me with eyes as grief-stricken as my own.
“He is gone,” she said. “Alderon has banished his soul.”
“Banished his soul?”
“He’s not coming back, dear girl. Not ever.”
I threw my head back and cried in rage and sadness at the magnitude and finality of her words. How could this happen? Why didn’t I just stay away from him? How would I ever live without him?
“You have a daughter now,” Esmerelda said to me, reaching forward to console my wounded heart. “You must live. You have no other choice.”
But I continued to sob, sitting down on the chair that was made from his hands and which held me for the past few hours. Esmerelda went to the cradle and stared down at Virginia. She whispered a few words to her in the Fae tongue and then leaned down on her knees and prayed before her.
When she rose she wiped the tears away from her face.
“Virginia is my granddaughter,” Esmerelda said with finality. “She will be raised by the laws of the Fae.”
I nodded in agreement. I wanted nothing more than for Virginia to be connected with this part of her history.
“When she is three, I will come for her.”
“And then?” I asked.
“Three is a sacred number to my people, I am sure my son told you.”
He had. During their third year of life, every Fae child’s third eye was sealed open. This eye connected them forever with the three Fates and other realms. It allowed them to see the magik of life and nature and be one with the earth forever. As Arthur had explained, for human children, this gateway closed at age three and was blocked forever.
Some human children escaped the disservice and the eye stayed open. For the rest of their life they would remain connected to other dimensions. Arthur told me that we saw them as the psychics, the mediums, the witches.
Arthur had wanted Virginia to have this blessing and be connected to his people forever. He promised he would help her harness the power so the rest of society would see her not as a pariah, but as an angelic gift. But without him—
“My granddaughter is under my protection and that of the Light Court. We will watch over her until she is three,” she told me.
“I won’t let you take her,” I said to Esmerelda. “She is all I have left of him.”
Esmerelda gave me a sad look.
“It will be as the Fates decided.”
And with that she was gone. She came and went many times over the years. At night, when I heard Virginia laughing alone in her room, I wondered if her grandmother was visiting her.
Now, while I watched her playing in the stream on her third birthday, I thought about how happy she made me. How innocent she was. How she always made me smile.
As we walked through the cool stream, Esmerelda appeared from behind a nearby tree. She wore a long green cape and held a smaller one in her hands.
“We don’t have any time,” she rushed out.
I took in the wild look on her face and my heart sank in dread.
“What is it?”
“He knows about the child,” Esmerelda said. She ran over to Virginia who embraced her grandmother. Esmerelda quickly placed the smaller cloak over Virginia’s shoulders.
“Alderon.” My voice was but a whisper.
Esmerelda nodded.
Virginia turned around and reached out for me. My legs were so shaky I could barely stand.
“Come to mama, my darling Virginia,” I said, holding my arms open.
Virginia flew into them and hugged me tightly. I kissed her on the head, brushed the curls away from her cherub-like face.
“Oh my darling, beautiful daughter,” I told her. “You are a child of a great love. And even though I won’t be with you, I will forever watch over you—”
“Come, mama,” Virginia said in her sweet voice.
I couldn’t stop the tears.
“I can’t, my love,” I said through a blurry haze. “I can’t come with you, even though I desperately want to.”
Virginia looked frightened.
“You will be with your grandmother and your father’s family,” I said as I continued to rain kisses on my daughter. “And every single time you look up at the sky you will know that your father and I are always watching over you.”
“Mama?”
I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Go,” I said to Esmerelda. “Go now.”
Esmerelda picked up Virginia.
“It must be done, Eleanor,” she said solemnly. “You’ll keep her safe this way.”
“I know,” I whispered. “Just go before I won’t be able to bear seeing you take her.”
In a second they were gone.
My beloved daughter.
Arthur.
There was nothing left for me.
And so I made my way home, where I sit now, writing this last entry of my tale.
I know he is coming.
Alderon.
All that I pray is that he spares the lives of the innocent villagers who know nothing of the Fae.
As for me…
This is my last diary entry.
Virginia, my darling girl, it is my great hope that you are reading this journal. I have faith that Esmerelda has found where I hid it for you. My sweet child, I want you to know that I am not fearful of my fate. I am more than ready to meet your father, my beloved Arthur, wherever he may be.
When we are united we shall protect you with all of our love, for all of eternity.
Lovingly yours,
Eleanor Dare, your mother
C
High School.
I couldn’t believe I was back. Sitting in class. Like nothing had ever happened.
Like my life was normal.
Simple.
Just like all the other students shuffling in and out of the classroom. But it wasn’t. Not anymore. That life was gone. That existence, like years ago. Another lifetime, another dimension. Another person.
I was now living in a home I had passed many times, often wondering which high society family lived within it, wondering if their life was as extravagant and grand as it appeared, not knowing that my path would cross with its inhabitants. That I would fall in love with the eldest son. That I would share a room next door to his. All the while, my very existence was threatening their civilization.
And I couldn’t change any of it, not until order was restored. Not until everyone around me was safe and secure, and that included myself. I could live with knowing that I might end up a fated casualty of this war. And I was fine with that. Just as long as it meant that no one else would be hurt in the process.
So that was my new mission.
Until then, I couldn’t move on.
I couldn’t really live.
Opening up my folder, I started wondering what would face me a month from now. Even though I had accepted my worst-case scenario, I was too afraid to even guess.
Devilyn, Tatiana, and I had all driven to school in one car that morning. Teddy and Rowan met us at the entrance of Manteo High. I felt terrible for not connecting with Rowan sooner, but I knew that Devilyn had filled him in. I also knew that Rowan probably wanted me to relax and have my space. But the second I saw him, I realized how much I’d missed him and how much comfort I felt from his peaceful presence.
Rowan pulled me in his arms, and I was so grateful for his strength. It was so different from the way Devilyn made me feel, but still, it comforted me.
And right now, I needed that more than anything.
“How are you?” he had asked me with concern.
“I’m okay,” I said. I knew that he saw through my brave smile.
“I’m so relieved. I was so worried.”
“I know you were. I’m so sorry I did that to you. To all of you.”
“You didn't do anything, Caroline,” he said, brushing a piece of my hair away from my face. “None of this is your fault.”
I nodded, but I couldn’t have disagreed more. “Can you meet me after practice?” I whispered so that the others wouldn’t hear.
