Another Throw of The Dice

by Mary Clare Morganti

  ‘He’s looking worn out poor darling. He needs a holiday back here so we are thinking of going to the Big Island for a weekend. I thought you could advise us about the vagaries of the ferry.’ Polly laughed knowingly.

  ‘That’s the point - vagaries, as you say, so all you can be is prepared for the unpredictable.’

  When Min offered Polly a cup of coffee she suddenly rummaged in her shoulder bag.

  ‘I forgot - Jim sent this coffee. He brought back one or two packets for friends.’

  Min was fascinated by the pickle Polly had got herself into with the impromptu star project and was curious to know more about the friendship with Jupeli.

  ‘I thought I was the only person who tied herself up in knots trying to spare someone’s feelings.’

  ‘I wonder if it’s a female thing and we’re too wimpish to speak our minds.’

  Min said that she thought that in this case, the fact that it was Eturasi’s younger brother added a twist.

  ‘He’s probably drawn the obvious conclusion. His brother is young and unattached and you’re rather gorgeous.’

  Polly said with or without irony - Min wasn’t sure. ‘Yes - there is that. But Jupeli’s triumphal guffaw at my little ruse irritated me. God - life’s a series of pitfalls.’

  Min said they needed something stronger than coffee to clear their heads.

  ‘I’m missing Peter and our chats. He was good for me because he’s perceptive and forthright. Sometimes you need a second opinion and I think Poll that you should lighten up and go ahead with the “star project’’.’ She made her little apostrophe signs in the air. ‘I think you’ll find the whole thing very interesting.’

  Polly smiled weakly and after a short silence said ‘I hope you’re right.’

  Min was on the verge of telling Polly about her idea for Yushi’s nuptial initiation but thought better of it and they parted with discretion preserved.

  Chapter 47

  Michael woke to the sound of his bedside radio playing a rich choral work. He tried to recapture his dream but it had escaped through some mysterious portal which was opened as his eyes took in the familiar bedroom scene. He was left with a feeling of displacement which was carried on by the sublime music reminiscent of elsewhere. He turned over and closed his eyes again to allow the music to fill his ears without the distraction of the pedestrian surroundings.

  After the music finished he turned off the radio and lay on his back with his hands under his head. There had been no news from Australia for several months and his holiday had buoyed him up so his mood was good. He had tried to get in touch with Min to show her his holiday photos but she had been very busy with course outlines for the coming semester and she admitted that she had left them till the last minute. She and her friend Peter had spent as much time as possible driving to some of the remote villages where the night curfew descended like a shroud. The new car had given her a much appreciated freedom after the months of arduous walking.

  When he rang again on the off chance Min was ready to down her tools with relief and she suggested they meet at the French café.

  She arrived earlier than Michael and was greeted enthusiastically in French by Gerard who introduced her to his wife Yvonne. Min asked them what had brought them to one of the anglophone islands and how were they finding it. With a typical puff of his lips as he manipulated his shiny machine, Gerard said simply that he wanted a “changement” and that he spoke good English so why not? He turned around to mix the coffee and added that he hadn’t expected to find the Eiffel Tower on the skyline.

  ‘It’s OK - not so English English. La Nouvelle Calédonie is very French as you know.’ Yvonne’s feelings were not made clear but she smiled politely. After he had put the coffee on the table by the window Gerard asked Min how to spell her name and said ‘Man’ with a question in his tone. She laughed and said it was a “soubriquet” and was pronounced ‘Meen.’

  ‘Ça se prononce sobriquet en français,’ said Gerard and Yvonne frowned and said something in French which Min didn’t catch.

  At that moment Michael’s car drove into the car park in front of the café and Min noticed that he didn’t bother to lock it. He was carrying a small packet of photos which he waved at her from outside the window. She began to feel nervous and unsure whether to shake hands or give him a hug. Gerard was still standing beside the table so she put out her hand and Michael lent over to peck her on the cheek. She suddenly felt flustered and started unnecessary introductions only to be reminded that they had already met. They all three stood until Michael had ordered and Min sat down in relief with her chin on her clasped hands.

  ‘Well - how was it?’

  ‘Just what the doctor ordered,’ he said and laughed. ‘I don’t usually take photos but I bought this disposable camera at the airport so I could record my surroundings.’

  Min smiled as she recognised a place she had visited with her parents one Christmas and was interested in Michael’s description of the cosmopolitan collection of people who had ended up in such an isolated place. Gerard came over with Michael’s order and glanced at the photos.

  ‘You speak French too, monsieur?’

  ‘No - only Strine.’ He needed to explain that it was a disparaging reference to the Australian accent and New Zild referred to the peculiarities of New Zealand English. Gerard nodded sagely with his lips jutting out but any further details were interrupted by Yvonne putting her head around the door at the back of the café and calling her husband. She smiled very briefly to acknowledge Michael but she was clearly worried. Gerard excused himself and Min continued with the photos.

  They were artistic studies of various seabirds lit up on one flank by the setting sun and little cottages or shacks looking like children’s drawings in their basic design. There were some inside shots of his house with its huge fireplace and a stack of wood alongside and Min said it made her nostalgic for cold weather. One photo showed a tall rangy man holding a fish with his face hidden by a large hat.

  ‘He was an interesting bloke from Canada who seemed to subsist on fish and bits and pieces from his garden. I didn’t find out anything else about him and he didn’t ask me any questions. I decided it was a convention among loners and makes room for speculation.’

  ‘Not unlike it is here, in a way,’ said Min thoughtfully. ‘How much do we know about our friends? Perhaps we’ve all got some deep secret locked away in our past.’

  Min blushed as she said this and Michael tapped the photos on the table to put them back in their packet.

  At that moment Gerard approached their table to tell them that their baby was “malade”. She had gone very limp and was rolling her eyes in a most scary manner. He might have to close the café and find a doctor. Michael asked him if they had taken the baby’s temperature and when he heard that they had no thermometer he said he had one in his car. Min asked how old the child was and whether she had had childhood inoculations. Gerard shrugged and said he didn’t know but she was only fifteen months.

  The child’s temperature was raised only one degree so Michael said they should sponge her with a cool cloth and he handed Gerard some medicine which he had had in his car too.

  ‘You are docteur, monsieur?’

  Michael simply answered by giving him the address of one of his medical colleagues who also had a private practice in town.

  ‘Keep the thermometer and take the temperature after you’ve cooled the child down.’

  Gerard was very grateful and offered more coffee on the house. Min had to leave but she was going to keep in touch.

  ‘Au revoir docteur,’ she said with a smile. ‘I love the photos - thanks.’ And she gave a tiny toot and a wave as she drove away.

  Chapter 48

  Jim waited till after six for Polly to come home for their evening meal and he was beginning to feel a worried vexation. She seemed less conscious of time these days and her apologies were half-hearted, but he was reluctant to voice his feelings that their rel
ationship had been under some strain since his return. It was not easy to pinpoint any significant changes so he partly blamed himself and his worry about his mother. He was still feeling on edge as if there were a threat over the present even when he was thinking about something as mundane as food shopping. For him, the world had darkened and his path through it was more of a daily effort.

  With less than an hour of daylight left he decided to go down to the beach and swim away his negative thoughts. As he neared the lagoon he felt his mood start to lift and by the time he entered the warm sea he was ready for its soothing embrace. He sensed freedom, being unobserved by the terrestrial world and his pettiness fell away. He turned on his back and looked into the crepuscular sky which very soon would be dotted with distant entities of which his world was only an infinitesimal part.

  Darkness came on swiftly as he stood looking back at the glassy surface where the lights along the seafront now threw long reflections. How quickly the scene changed from day to night as if a cosmic switch had been flicked.

  As he walked back along the road he noticed two people in front of him ambling in the same direction. In spite of the darkness he thought he recognised Polly’s walking style, so he slowed down in an instinctive reaction to a possible situation he would rather not deal with. He turned off at the first opportunity and without any hesitation he entered a small unfamiliar café. He was unused to eating on his own so he bought takeaway noodles which he hoped to share with Polly when he got home. The lights were on in the house so he knew she must be there. Opening the wire door he announced himself in a jaunty voice but there was no response. Polly was in the bedroom and from the door he saw that she had been crying. He held out the paltry carton of food and asked her if she had eaten. Instead of replying she stared at him and bit her lower lip. Then she broke into tears and buried her face in the pillow. Jim stood still, uncertain.He was not used to seeing Polly in mute distress and it would be trite to ask her what the matter was. In the silence, he listened to her muffled sobs followed by long-held breaths.

  Suddenly he wanted to hurl the carton which he was holding pathetically, across the room but instead he turned and went into the kitchen where he stowed it in the refrigerator. Holding the door handle he looked down at his feet and wondered what to do next. Polly’s behaviour had aroused in him a resentful defence mechanism and he had the feeling that her tears were sourced beyond his influence. He went outside letting the wire door slap behind him and he lay on the stubbly grass to look up at the now glittering sky and recapture his earlier perspective. How long he lay there he was not sure because he became mesmerised by a display of shooting bodies flashing here and there like sparks.

  The sound of a cupboard door opening brought him back to his present reality so he propped himself up on his elbow and called cautiously,

  ‘Is that you Poll?’

  Still she didn’t answer so he went inside. Polly looked around at him from cutting bread at the bench, as if to check his identity and then carried on without conviction until he suggested that they have a glass of wine.

  With a fresh onrush of tears she turned again and threw herself into his arms. Taken by surprise, he did not respond immediately but held her firmly until she stopped crying and looked at him. Her face looked distorted and unfamiliar. For the briefest of moments he told himself that she repulsed him and then her vulnerability brought out his protectiveness towards her. Still his feelings were confused and he felt as if they were being tested for the first time. No terms of endearment crossed his mind but when the paroxysm was over he conducted her to the sofa and gently sat her down. He went into the kitchen for some wine and glasses and as he poured it in front of her she said,

  ‘Jim, I’m pregnant.’

  ‘So what about the tears - are they for joy or misery?’ He thought he knew the answer but he waited till she said,

  ‘You must know the answer to that.’

  He said that he wanted to hear it from her.

  Her monologue followed a confused path of insecurity, loss of familiar structures, her attempt to appreciate the culture and to do what she thought was the right thing as she saw it. He was on the verge of asking if doing the right thing included getting pregnant but he held back the mean remark and waited to hear the most important information as far as he was concerned. It emerged more by implication of the drift of her narrative than by an explicit statement and he asked,

  ‘Does Jupeli know?’

  ‘No, of course not and I don’t know what to do. I’ve thought of leaving the country but I don’t want to go back to America.’

  ‘Are you in love with him?’

  ‘I’m attracted to him, but at the same time I love you Jim.’

  Jim stared into his glass, looking perplexed. He did not want to get into the rescue business but this was not the time to say as much. He asked her if she had had the test and she nodded and said that she was about two months.

  ‘Why don’t you want to tell Jupeli - if that’s who it is?’ There was an edge to the afterthought.

  Polly looked at him with shock.

  ‘What are you suggesting?’

  Jim mildly regretted his remark but didn’t say anything. He noticed that she had not drunk any wine so he picked up her glass and drained it.

  ‘Come on - let’s get to bed and continue this talk tomorrow. You must be exhausted.’

  Not long after they settled for the night, Polly went to sleep but Jim was unable to quieten his racing mind which churned endlessly until he heard a distant rooster crow. Some time later he woke and saw that Polly had gone and the sun was shining at full strength through the louvres. If it weren’t so hot he’d pull the sheet over his head and try to sleep again but discomfort propelled him out of bed to make some coffee and face the day. His love of women was being tested and if it failed, so be it.

  Chapter 49

  The new school year was soon under way and there were signs of the rain letting up. The grass in the college compound was knee high so for the first few days, classes were interrupted by groups of students having to do their share of machete bashing. It was an impressive sight to witness the apparently willing participation of young men and women in the rhythmic swing of tools under the hot sun. The results were soon evident in a tamed lushness around the open-sided classrooms. The staff met to discuss the year’s programme and Min remembered her awful apprehension of the year before. She wondered how things would be in another year and how many of her new friends would still be around.

  She was sitting in the staff room on her own after everyone had left and a voice said quietly, ‘Knock, knock.’

  She looked up and saw Jim standing in the open doorway, his arms full of market produce.

  ‘Come in and sit down. Let’s pretend you’re a student worried about his course content this year.’

  Jim smiled wryly. ‘Funny you should say that. I do need some advice, teacher. I hope you don’t mind.’

  Min tried to carry on the jesting because she was not in the mood to take on other people’s problems - especially when she was privy to both sides of the story. She leaned back and held both ends of her ballpoint pen as if to indicate evenhandedness. Jim was somewhat evasive but wanted to know if she had spoken to Polly lately.

  ‘Yes - thanks for the coffee - sorry I forgot to mention it earlier. I hope your mother is making good progress.’

  ‘Yeah - well - it’s Polly I’ve got on my mind now. She seems to be very friendly with Jupeli. Has she told you about continuing with him?’

  Min said she had heard about the star project but as she said it, it sounded ludicrous, she thought to herself. Jim made a small grimace and she knew that he thought the same.

  ‘Frankly I think it’s a pretext. What do you think Min? If you’re honest.’ Min put her pen down and leaned towards Jim. She said it was really not her business but she was sympathetic and the best she could say was to try and ride it out.

  ‘Have you done anything about the trip to th
e Big Island?’

  ‘What trip?’

  Min repeated what Polly had told her and Jim was surprised.

  ‘When did she say that?’

  ‘When she brought round the coffee.’

  ‘Oh.’ Jim deflated slightly. It had been before she had got the test results, he realised. Min might not be aware of the pregnancy so “he would leave it to Polly to divulge that development if she chose to. Min changed the subject and mentioned the wedding of the year but Jim wasn’t too interested. She was about to reveal her devilish scheme for the affianced but once more thought better of it. Jim was probably not in the mood to see the romantic side of human relations.

  When Jim had left, Min finished the class rolls she had offered to copy out and went to Gerard’s cafe to find out how the little girl was. Michael’s car was outside and he was talking to Yvonne who waved to Min as she entered. The baby was fine now and it was a case of the teeth “piercing”. Gerard had taken her in the car when he went to the market so she could not demonstrate in this moment. Min revelled silently in the quaint English.

  ‘Yvonne wants to find an English tutor and in you walk,’ said Michael who had also come to check on the baby.

  The two women arranged to meet at the hotel pool and work out a time suitable to them both.

  ‘I find docteur and teacheur togezzer,’ Yvonne laughed showing her perfect teeth as she turned to prepare two cups of coffee. They sat down and Min said she was on her way home but coffee would be nice.

  As the coffee machine hissed and gurgled, Michael told Min that Yvonne had asked him if she was his girlfriend. Min let her head droop in a gesture of amusement but also to hide a flush spreading over her face. When she looked up Michael said how such simple conventionality irritated him but he did feel as if they’d known each other a very long time.

  ‘I denied it thrice,’ he said. ‘Anyway I can’t stand the word “girlfriend.”’.

  ‘Perhaps one of my migrating forbears met one of yours for a one-night stand and we’re long-lost cousins!’

  ‘It’s not impossible.’ Michael looked almost serious.

  ‘I admit that my great grandparents passed through Oz on their way to our enlightened shores. There was the small matter of gold.’