“I’m fine.”
“You’re wasting time arguing with me. I’m not leaving you to take one alone. I plan on keeping am extra close eye on you.”
He was entirely, bare-assed naked. She intended to look away but found herself staring at him. He looked good, in a tempting, ‘I am going to hell for lusting over him, but I don’t care’ sort of way. Yep. She was headed to hell. He was way too damn sexy to look away. When she finally managed to tear her eyes off his body and looked up to meet his gaze, she knew her face was bright red.
“I know why you’re worried, but I assure you there’s no reason for it,” Joseph said.
“What are you talking about?”
“You want me. You’re afraid you won’t be able to control yourself once we are in the shower together. And since you’re still a bit under the weather, you know you’ll never be able to keep up with me.”
“You want me to kill you, don’t you?”
“Nope.” He shook his head. “Not at all. You need a shower. I need a shower.” Moving too quickly for her to even consider trying to stop him, he ripped the sheet off her. Staring down at her, he shook his head. “It’s worse than I thought.”
She covered her body with a pillow. “What?”
He smiled. “Your reflexes are slow. You’re weaker than I thought. Come on, now. We have to get ready for the charity dinner.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not taking a shower with you.”
“I’ve already told you that we don’t have to go. I’ll send a nice big check.”
“I’m going.”
“Then you need a shower.” He lifted her up and cradled her in his arms as he carried her toward the bathroom. “Relax. You don’t need worry. I would never do anything to you that you’re not ready for, and I know you’re not ready to make love with me. Soon. But not now. Even if you begged I would not make love to you right now.”
He gently placed her on her feet in the shower, and warm water sprayed over the back of her head and body. It felt so good she closed her eyes and tipped her head back to allow the water to wash over her entire body. When she opened her eyes, he was staring at her. Her breath caught in her throat. He looked agitated. No. It was pain. It was deep. “What is it?”
Grabbing the nape of her neck, he pulled her toward him and bent his head. As his mouth settled on hers, the atmosphere in the shower electrified. At first the kiss was tender, and his touch was gentle. Then the kiss deepened into something wild. He took savage possession of her lips, pouring every ounce of his need, his explosive desire into the kiss.
Mia felt his body hot and hard against hers. His desire filled her, burned deep inside her. She gave herself to him, to his touch, to his kiss.
Joseph lifted his head a few inches. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done to me? What you’re doing to me right now?”
“I suspect it’s the same thing you’ve done to me.” She whispered, “It’s the same thing you’re doing to me, to my body right now. Joseph, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t fight it. I want you. My body burns for you.”
“I burn for you too,” he whispered against her lips. “Every waking moment, every inch of my body burns for you, but now is not the time.”
“Why?”
Then, contradicting his statement that it wasn’t the right time, he kissed her again, his solid body pushing her against the wall and beneath the spray of hot water. His hands were everywhere, touching her, exploring and inflaming every inch of her body.
* * *
He was losing control. Wanting, needing to take possession of her body and soul, he felt savage. He realized it was the dragon, but never had the dragon interfered with sex until the day Demetri had come into her boutique. He’d believed it had only happened then because of the great danger she was in. Basically, he thought it had been a reaction to fear. The fact that side of him continued to want Mia as deeply as he did was shocking. Normally, the dragon only responded to a demon’s true mate. Though he wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything, as a lycan she couldn’t be his mate.
“Joseph.”
He heard uncertainty in her voice, saw it in her eyes. He bent his head and lowered his brow onto hers. “Enjoy the shower. I told you that now isn’t the time.”
“I need … Joseph, there’s something I want you to know about me. I’ve never been with a man.”
“Huh?” Not exactly the most eloquent response, but he was surprised. Lycans were known for being very sexual.
She immediately shot him a dirty look. “I’ve never had sex.”
He’d hurt her, and that shattered his heart into a million pieces. “I’m sorry, angel. It was a bad response. I just wasn’t expecting this to be your first.” He grinned. “And only.”
“Just leave.” She turned her back to him and stuck her face under the spray of water to hide her tears of humiliation. “Go home, Joseph. This was a mistake.”
He really was an idiot. He stared at her back for a moment. He wondered if he should just leave. No. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. “Mia.”
“Why are you still here? I told you to go.”
“Mia.” From behind he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “I’m sorry. Don’t be mad.” He bent his head to kiss the back of her neck. “I’m amazed, and maybe even shocked, you would even consider giving such a wonderful gift to me.”
He was holding her so close she could feel the hard length of him against her lower back. “Joseph.” Secretly, she was afraid. She knew what to expect, but not really. “The truth is I’ve never had a desire to be with a man. I always thought something was wrong with me.” She paused. “But the first moment I saw you at the cemetery with Caylee and Haden, my body just came to life with desire. It made me mad and very confused. It was unfair, but it’s why I’ve tried to hate you. I’ve always wanted you, but I don’t feel right about being with you when I know that I’m dying.”
He turned her around and framed her face between his hands to force her to maintain eye contact with him. “I told you that I won’t allow you to die.”
“Please stop.” She couldn’t look at him. “I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but I don’t want you lie to me. Never you. It’s not working. We both know that it’s not working. And now we know why. It was never cancer. If the poison doesn’t kill you, I want you to promise me that you will continue to live your life when I’m gone.”
“That is a promise that I will promise to never make to you, but don’t worry. I’ve no intention of allowing the poison to kill either of us.”
She needed a distraction and grabbed her shower gel and a sponge.
“Oh no, you don’t.” He took the sponge from her. “I’ve waited a very long time for this pleasure.”
“You’ve given me extra time. You’ve taken my pain.” She tipped her head back to look up at him. “But I can feel death. I’m tired, Joseph. My body is tired. I don’t even know how to describe it. The fight is over for me. If Emily was out of that terrible place …”
“Stop. You don’t need to fight anymore. I will fight for you. I will carry it. I know it’s taking time. You’ve been sick for a very long time.” He gently moved the sponge over her shoulders and down her back. “It won’t much time for my dragon to work out a cure. I know it’s hard, but please don’t give up on me.”
“I can’t stand knowing that when you’re healing me taking my pain, that you’re actually taking it into your own body.”
“It’s an honor. A pleasure. And you forget that I took the same poison. If I can’t find a cure we both die.”
“I’m mad at you for that. And pain isn’t a pleasure.”
“We’ve discussed this before. I am patient, so I’ll explain it again. To take the pain for you, to carry it for the woman I love and adore, is a great honor. Knowing that I can give you relief is the greatest pleasure.”
* * *
She knew there was no changing his mind or stopping him. “I don’t
like it.”
She always loved the feeling of the sponge and gel on her flesh, but it was nothing like the way it felt when he was moving it over her body. His hands were powerful, capable of doing serious damage, but they were so gentle on her. “Thank you.”
“Promise me you won’t give up.”
“I won’t,” she lied. She’d already given up. He was immortal. It gave her hope that the poison wouldn’t kill him. For her, however, it was only a matter of time before she died. She was fine with it. She’d made peace with it. Her only hope was to kill Mary Tate before she died. And that Joseph would move on and find his true love.
“I need you. I won’t allow you to give up.” It was a fact. It wasn’t a topic open for any argument. “I couldn’t live without you. If you’re not willing to live for you, live for me.”
She smiled. “You’re trying to manipulate me.”
“I am.”
“It’s rude.”
“Is it working?”
“Maybe a little.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Okay, I lied. A lot. But I understand that we’re different. No matter when I die, I will die before you. One day, no matter where this leads, I will be in the ground while you carry on with a new life, a new love.”
“It’s not going to happen. You’re my only love, my only life. Yes, you will eventually die, but I won’t continue without you. I couldn’t. Touching you, being with you, is my greatest dream that has come true. I wasn’t supposed to be seen at the cemetery that day—I was on guard duty—but I couldn’t let you get away without touching you.”
“That’s not a shock. You seldom follow rules.”
“I felt everything all at once. I took your hand, and my heart was filled with such joy and sadness. I knew that you’d silently suffered for a very long time. I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that you were my world. My life. I knew you were all that mattered.”
His words were sweet and, she suspected, well thought out, but she knew the truth even if he wouldn’t admit it. She turned to face him. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t want to be alone, Joseph. And there is no one I would rather be with.” There was a catch in her voice. She heard it and knew he did too.
“I love you, Mia. Only you. Forever you. I will never make a promise to you I can’t keep, and I promise you we will be together for forever. You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.”
She bit her bottom lip. She knew that she’d made him uncomfortable by talking about death, by reminding him that she wouldn’t be around. She wanted to believe in being with him for forever, but she couldn’t. It hurt too much. “I’m sorry. I should be stronger. I shouldn’t unload on you.”
“No. Don’t ever be sorry for telling how you feel about anything. This is our story. This is how it is meant to be. I love you, Mia.” He held her face in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. “You will never be alone. No matter what happens, wherever you go, I will go.” He lowered his voice, and she knew he was using his great power to cause his words to be engraved in her soul. “You will never be alone, angel.”
“Never?” She giggled, but managed to force herself to frown. “Gee. Does that mean you’re going to be hanging around a lot more?”
“Don’t you dare be mean right now after I’ve bared my soul to you.” Smiling, he tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Since we’re going to make love in the very near future, I think it is only right if you at least try to be nice for a little while.” His hand dropped to her shoulder and turned her back toward him.
She looked up at him. “I’m always incredibly nice to you, Joseph.”
He laughed softly. “You’re lying.” Using the sponge he massaged her back and shoulders and slowly made his way to her hips.
“Not at all.” She giggled. She really hated the way she sounded when she giggled. She sounded like such a girl. “I was just going to suggest that we sit down and make a few relationship guidelines.”
He wrapped his arm around her, under her breasts, and pulled her close to his body. “What kind of guidelines?” He gently massaged her belly with the sponge, working his way lower.
“More like rules for you to follow.” For one heart-stopping moment she watched as he lowered the sponge. She knew what would come next. She knew his hands would be touching her in a place she’d never been touched but dreamed of him touching. She reached for the sponge. Why? She didn’t know.
Grinning, he pulled it out of her reach. “I want to hear these rules.” He dropped the sponge at her feet. “Oops.” He bent his head and kissed the back of her shoulders and her neck while his hand slowly moved down her belly toward her sex.
Her heart leapt. For a moment she couldn’t find her voice. Closing her eyes, she forced air through her lungs as she leaned against him. “The hours you’re allowed to visit me.” Her voice sounded shaky. She couldn’t believe the way her body was responding to the nearness of his, to his wicked hand just resting between her legs.
“Hmm …” He bent his head and pressed a kiss against her ear. “I don’t believe we should have any rules concerning the hours that I’ll be able to share my love with you. I’m sure by the time I’ve properly worshiped your body with mine, you’ll always want more.”
She heard her own moan, a low whisper of longing, of desperate need. Her entire body blushed at the idea of him wanting to worship her body with his. She’d never felt as needy as she did at that moment. She’d never experienced such a ravenous sexual awakening. He certainly had a way with words.
She turned to face him. “How did I ever find a love like yours, Joseph?”
* * *
“I don’t know.” She was too much of a temptation. Her fingers were touching his chest, moving over his flesh. He was burning up for her. Taking a shower with her wasn’t the smartest thing he’d ever done. It was becoming difficult, nearly impossible to remain in control. He was a wreck. He was in pain. He was hard, and so swollen with need for her.
“You’re just lucky, I guess. You are so damn mean all the time.” His great strength, his control was slipping away. “I’m willing to bet that it had nothing to do with karma.”
She stood on the tips of her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Take it back.”
He ached to just lift her up and lower her onto his throbbing cock. She was making him crazy, moving her body against his as she kissed him. He had to stop it, stop her. With a thought he turned the water off, conjured up a towel, and wrapped it around her. He scooped her up. “No. I won’t take it back.”
She reached up and traced his lips with her finger. “Why do you look mad all the sudden? I can think of much better things for you to do with your mouth than frown.”
She was pure wickedness. And he loved it. He carried her out of the shower and into her room. “Later.” He lowered her onto the bed and stepped back. “Get ready. I’ll be back in a little bit to pick you up.”
As he started the process of shedding his flesh to shift the hell out of there she stood up and reached for him. “Wait. Why are you leaving?”
He ended up wrapping his arms around her and bringing her with him. “I had to get the hell away from you.” He gave her a quick kiss. He didn’t dare anymore than a peck. “Get ready.” He turned to walk away.
“My dress isn’t here. How am I supposed to get ready?”
He motioned toward his bed. She turned to look. “How did you … never mind. Dumb question.”
He nodded. Clothing himself with a thought, he walked out of the room before he couldn’t.
~ Eleven ~
ONE MINUTE BRIANNA was having a good time dancing with a man Julie had introduced her to, and the next she heard the man gasp in pain. Then she was turned around and drawn into Nikolas’ arms. “What did you do to him, Nikolas?”
“He’s no good for you.” Clearly unrepentant, he pulled her closer and began to move his body to the music. “You need to be more careful when choosing dance partners. He has a wife waiting for him at home
. He intended on using you for a one-night stand.”
She leaned back to meet his gaze though she couldn’t see him. “You’re lying. And don’t you dare pretend to care about what is good for me.”
“It’s the truth, and I am not pretending. I love …”
“No,” she blurted. “Don’t say it. All you care about is whether or not you are in control. You love control.”
“That is not true.”
She wished she didn’t know it wasn’t true. It would be so much easier to forget him if she truly believed it was.
Restoring her vision, he cupped her face and forced her to look into his eyes. “I love you, Brianna. I love you enough to let you go though I need you, though I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms for forever.”
Exquisite Breath of Darkness Page 17
