Flare Shifter

by Erin MacMichael

  “Some days it feels like the sadness will crush me,” she went on, nuzzling against him. “My mind keeps wondering what awful things might be happening to them. They must be terrified, or in pain, tortured—”

  “Shhh, don’t,” he soothed, giving her head and body a squeeze until she quieted again.

  “Being alone has been the worst thing of all. I miss my aunt and uncle, my friends in Cullin and the people up at the market. None of them wanted me to come—I’m sure they’re probably all worried sick over me. Here in Tessin, I’ve had no one to talk to, nobody willing to help. Everyone is so shut down and closed off.”

  Ryder held himself very still, knowing he had given her no encouragement or reason to reach out to him. “Why me, Kea?”

  “I found your book,” she answered wistfully. “We’ve had the same one since we were little. My mother used to read it to us every night.” She paused to let a new swell of heartache pass. “When I ran across your copy on the drawing table and discovered all those incredible sketches you’ve done from the story, I knew you were someone special. There are dozens of them—I looked at every single one.”

  She broke off and raised her face so she could look him in the eye. “Ryder, they’re absolutely beautiful. They gave me a glimpse of who you are and told me that you dream of things we don’t have, just like I do. And then when I saw you last night, my god—”

  Her voice trailed off and Ryder was stunned by a sudden cascade of arousal, unmistakable and strong, streaming into him from her slender form.

  “By all that’s sacred,” he breathed when he saw the naked craving flare up in her eyes. “You want me?”

  Her body shook and she nodded. Pulling her arms from around his waist, she ran her hands slowly up his stomach and chest, and laced her fingers up and out through the ends of his long hair, sending a current of electricity shooting down through his frame.

  It was a match that started a fire he knew he couldn’t stop. Every cell, every blood vessel was instantly alight. His mouth came down to take hers as he slipped one arm behind her shoulders and lifted, pressing her body firmly against him with the other. Kea’s hands snaked up around his neck and into his hair while her mouth drew him into her with insistence, pulling a wave of heat up from his core.

  Tearing his mouth away with a gasp, he lifted his face just far enough to suck in air. Kea’s head rocked back and she closed her eyes. “It feels so good to touch you,” she whispered as her hands dropped to run over the contours of his shoulders and arms.

  With a broken sound, he carried her into the dimly lit bedroom and put her down, peeling off her clothing in swift movements before frantically stripping out of his own in his urgency to be inside her. Lifting her quickly onto the bed, he rose above her while she opened herself and reached for his skin, sliding her legs up around his waist as he drove himself in. He paused and held himself still, watching her eyes, caught up in the intense sensation of being connected with her, feeling her hunger and need through the contact as clearly as his own.

  Kea looked up at him and clenched her muscles, twisting her hips and urging him to move. Startled by the bursts of sensation, he began to thrust, slow and measured, savoring the feel of sliding into her and the answering waves of pleasure he sensed spreading through Kea’s body. Gradually he stepped up the speed of his movements, building momentum, sparking and magnifying the charge running between their bodies, until he was driving them feverishly toward the climax they both desperately needed. It came with a rush and he shouted his release just as he felt her convulse beneath him and cry out. For several moments, he found himself suspended between thoughts and feelings, hovering in the midst of an unexpected calm.

  Gasping for breath, Ryder gazed with astonishment at Kea’s flushed face before collapsing onto his back on the bed beside her. “I can’t believe that just happened,” he panted as he stared at the ceiling. “I don’t know what to do with myself.” He lay for several long minutes, staggered and perplexed, before turning his head to look at the small woman beside him. “I don’t know what to do with you.”

  The peaceful expression on Kea’s face dissolved into an anxious frown. “Do you … want me to leave?” she asked nervously as she fought to catch her breath.

  Ryder breathed heavily, regarding her in the dim light, struggling with his answer. “No,” he said at last.

  With a relieved smile, Kea rolled onto her side to face him and reached over to skim her fingers down the side of his face and neck. He flinched automatically and forced himself to relax, but she raised her eyebrows in question. “It’s been a long time since I let anyone touch me,” he said in a low voice.

  “By the stars, Ryder,” she breathed, openly startled. “I’ve always had my family and friends. I can’t imagine living without any kind of physical contact or the bonding that comes with it.” As she reached her hand out again to stroke his skin, he closed his eyes, the muscles in his face tensing in reaction. “Ryder, what’s wrong? Is it me?” she asked hesitantly.

  “Yes,” he whispered. When she pulled her hand away as if stung, he grabbed it back and pressed it to his chest. “No, I mean, it’s not you. It’s letting anyone get close. It scares the life out of me.”

  Kea blew out a gushing breath. “Thank heavens—I can deal with that. I was afraid you didn’t want me,” she added in a small voice.

  His brow furrowed and he looked over at her with confusion. “Why would you think that?”

  She blinked several times, her expression oddly vulnerable. “You’re a master smith with plenty of money, status, protection. I thought that since I work for you, maybe I wasn’t good enough for someone like you.”

  Her admission caught him completely off-guard. “Someone like—no, Kea, I don’t think that way. I’m not anything special. For heaven’s sake, I’ve spent most of my life trying to keep the reptiles or anyone else from noticing me. I never wanted anyone to be attracted to me.”

  “Why not? My god, Ryder, you’re a beautiful man! I was dazed when I saw you. Haven’t you ever wanted this?” she asked, nodding her head toward their two naked bodies. Ryder drew in a breath and sent his eyes gliding over her breasts and the gentle curve of her hips before raising his gaze to her face without speaking.

  “I thought so,” she said quietly. “I feel your hunger. So why do you hide? You could have found a lover ages ago.”

  Ryder shook his head. “It’s too dangerous to look like this.” His stomach flipped over in response to any thought connected to the reptiles.

  “In front of the Drahks, yes,” she acknowledged. “I’m afraid of them, too. I shifted my appearance, put on my worst, ratty clothing before I came into the city to deflect unwanted attention to a lone female.”

  He nodded, glancing at her left eye and studying the details of her graceful features. “That was wise. Pretty women disappear quickly.”

  Kea raised herself up and leaned on her free elbow so she could look at him squarely. “I understand the need for camouflage, but that doesn’t mean fighting off the rest of the world, Ryder.”

  “It’s not just appearances, Kea. No one I know of in Tessin has relationships. Having any kind of family is a liability.”

  “Are you serious?” she blurted, plainly aghast.

  “You didn’t see that father and baby from your building taken away tonight, did you,” he remarked. “They hunt down anyone with children, Kea. Do you know what they do to the people they take?”

  “I’m sure any sort of violence we can imagine.”

  He nodded somberly. “Some are used as food, some are used as leverage, and some—” He broke his words off abruptly. “What have you heard about Tiro?”

  “Specifically? He’s one of the lords on Mindaris, but they come and go, so we don’t always know who’s in control.”

  Ryder sighed heavily before continuing. “Tiro’s the worst—he’s ruthless, cold-blooded, easily the most powerful Drahk on the planet outside of the Governor. He owns all the Algolian guild
s, including mine, and watches us like a hawk through his lackeys like my guild master.”

  “That’s why you were so afraid I was spying for them,” Kea interjected with new understanding.

  “Um-hmm. We’ve made Tiro very rich, but most of his wealth comes from the Assassins Guild,” he spat with quiet loathing. “He culls assassins from people who are captured or arrested, turns them into weapons by holding their families hostage, and then sells their services off-planet for the incessant fighting between reptilian houses throughout the Empire.”

  Kea’s brows knitted at the vehemence of his softly spoken words. “That’s what you’re really afraid of, isn’t it?”

  An involuntary shudder ran up Ryder’s spine before he nodded reluctantly. “Look at me. I’m strong, fit, agile, sharp. I’d be a perfect target for Tiro’s league of murderers, especially if I had a wife or parent or child they could hang me with. I’d rather be dead than forced to become a killer.” He closed his eyes and wouldn’t speak for several minutes. “I’m safer if they think I’m some simpering old man who’s still useful for something. That way the only violence I have to inflict is on wax and metal. And if they ever do find out about me, I won’t bring down anyone else.”

  “But you’re so alone,” she said mournfully. “And it hurts you. I feel it.”

  Ryder turned his head away, but Kea wrenched her hand out of his and reached out, gently pulling his face back toward her with her fingertips. “Horrible savagery is going on here, but some things are worth the risk. Love is worth it. That’s why I came to Tessin.” She searched his eyes fervently. “You’re worth it, Ryder. Who made you feel you weren’t? Who hurt you? Who did I see when you cried?”

  He swallowed hard and couldn’t bring himself to answer. The phantom he had run from for so long was staring him down, demanding to be acknowledged.

  Kea sat up and laid her tiny hand in the middle of his chest. A stream of emotion poured in through her touch, but this time she was directing it—warmth, affection, the hope for something to blossom between them, sank down into his flesh and spread like fire.

  “I want you, Ryder. I’m in a world of hurt over Stani and my mother, and that won’t stop. But in the middle of this nightmare, I accidentally found you. And I want you in my life.” She leaned forward and kissed him deeply, calling up another surge of arousal through both of them. She broke her mouth away and looked down at him. “Should I stop and leave you to your solitude? I can be gone at first light.”

  With a ragged sound, he pulled her across his body, grabbed her buttocks, and thrust himself home once more. “Stay with me,” he ground out and kissed her hard, feeling the stones of the walls he’d so carefully constructed begin to crumble and fall.

  When at last they both lay spent and exhausted in each other’s arms, Kea gazed up into his tired, placid face. “I’m not alone anymore,” she said in a breath as her eyes drifted closed.

  “No, you’re not, Kea,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. “Neither am I.”

  The gem-encrusted gold brooch in Ryder’s hand was garish and so were the two rings and necklace laid out on the counter, but they were finished and ready for delivery. He examined each piece thoroughly, inspecting the work of the journeymen who had made them before he handed them off to the two apprentices standing patiently at his elbow.

  “These are fine. The brooch and necklace are to be taken to the House of Tibak for Lady Gidel, and the two rings go to Major Lul at the Governor’s mansion. After you’ve finished your deliveries, get yourselves home and stay put. Be fast,” he directed in a soft voice.

  It was midday, but the first faint ripples of the oncoming flare could be felt by everyone in the studio which meant the next twelve hours would be increasingly hazardous while the primary influx of radiation rose and peaked in its move through Mindaris. The danger was not from the storm itself which served as a natural source of renewal for native shapeshifters, but instead came from being anywhere near the volatile reptilians who would lose every shred of psychological cohesion for as long as the inundation lasted.

  Ryder felt uneasy about sending the two young teenagers out at all, but they were both good runners and he was certain they could make it back safely through the gates before the initial strong wave hit. As soon as they were gone, he threw the bolt on the front door and hurried into the studio, scooping up his jacket as he headed for the back exit. “Finish whatever you’re doing and go home,” he called out to the busy craftsmen. “Tevan, please lock up.”

  No one questioned why the master goldsmith had been the first out the door for the past several weeks, and today, the oncoming illumination gave him the perfect excuse for running down the streets toward home. The sidewalks were crowded with tense Algolians scurrying to get to safety and no one took any notice of an older man racing like a gazelle down the pavement.

  The instant Ryder closed the apartment door behind him, he let the transformation into his own form pass through his cells and turned just in time to catch Kea as she launched herself against his chest, wrapped her legs around him, and pulled his mouth down into a ravenous kiss. He backed her into the nearest wall and drove himself in, devouring her like a starved man late for a meal. It had been this way every night, all night since he’d brought her home and he didn’t see it stopping anytime in the foreseeable future.

  “Oh god, it’s so good,” he rasped breathlessly as he lowered her back down the wall to the floor.

  Kea tipped her head back and smiled up at him. “I know.”

  Ryder lifted his hands to cradle her face and leaned down to kiss her tenderly. He raised his head and regarded her thoughtfully until she let out a short laugh.

  “What?” he prompted.

  “Your eyes. They’re … flashing.”

  The barest hint of a smile touched his mouth. “It’s the flare.”

  “No, it’s not,” she laughed, slipping her hand down between his legs.

  Ryder sucked in a startled breath. “No—it’s not.”

  With a growl, he picked her up and walked into the living room, settling himself down into his chair with Kea on his lap. “I’ve got to get another chair,” he muttered. Kea wiggled her bottom several times against him and grinned. “Or not,” he conceded, running his fingers through her loose hair. “Did you find any new leads while you were out shopping this morning?”

  Kea sobered immediately. “I tried. Again. No one in this damned city will say anything about people who’ve been taken. They just glare at me like I’ve got some plague and clam up. Even market people, which I really don’t understand. It seems like the closer I’ve gotten to the heart of the city where the reptiles live, the icier people have become.”

  “More eyes on us here,” Ryder explained. “It’s easier to get caught. Thick defenses mean staying alive.”

  “It’s so frustrating! Where I come from, people care about each other, grieve with each other, band together to help everyone else survive. Tessin is a city of walking dead!”

  “You’re right,” he acknowledged hollowly. “The Drahks have killed something vital inside people here.”

  “It’s appalling—and tragic,” she said sadly, shaking her head. “It’s no wonder you’re so defensive. Did you grow up this way?”

  Ryder let out a long sigh. “No.” He remained silent, hesitant to discuss a painful past.

  “You’re not from Tessin?”

  He shook his head slowly, still unwilling to speak. He looked at her bleakly, wondering if he was one of the walking dead she despised. “Does it matter?” he asked listlessly.

  Her brow furrowed, sensing something troublesome going on within him. “Who you are matters to me,” she answered gently. “Tell me what you can. I won’t push, ok?”

  Ryder contemplated her earnest expression. If she really wanted to hear the details of his unremarkable life, he’d tell her, and if anything came up that hurt to think about, he’d just hold onto her and work through it somehow. “Ok,” he replied at
length.

  Kea reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it securely between both of hers. “Who is the man I’ve seen with the shadows in his eyes? Your father?”

  He nodded once as he pulled in a breath. “Uh-huh.”

  “You were close to him, weren’t you,” she stated, her voice touched with tenderness as she watched him.

  “Yeah—a long time ago when I was really young. I worshiped the ground he walked on.”

  “What was he like?”

  Ryder shifted his eyes off into the distance, reaching past the searing memory of his father’s departure which always came up first whenever he thought about him. “He was really quiet … warm, at least to me … really strong, smart. He could fix just about anything. That’s what he did to earn money so we could get by. He always carried a heavy pack of tools and that book wrapped in a cloth,” he said, tipping his head toward the drawing table.

  “Did he read it to you?” she inquired with a fond smile from her own memories.

  He shook his head. “No, but he’d never let it out of his sight. It must have been my mother’s.”

  “What happened to her, Ryder?”

  “I don’t know,” he replied, dropping his eyes to the floor. “She died or disappeared when I was too young to remember. The only impressions I have of her face came from my father.” The fleeting image of a woman with a soft smile floated up briefly and then faded.

  “She was pretty,” Kea commented, picking up the fleeting appearance. “Didn’t he ever tell you about her?”

  “No. He’d think about her when he was holding me and it always made him ache, so I never asked him to talk about her.”

  “I see,” she said quietly. “Where did you live?”

  He shrugged and shook his head, thinking about the scattered places he could bring to mind. “Out in the provinces east of Tessin. We traveled around, always on the move trying to stay away from Drahkian patrols. We had a number of close encounters with raiding parties and once barely escaped a saur that had gotten loose during a flare. My father was terrified of the beasts, hated the Drahks with a passion, hated anything to do with—” His eyes clouded over as he recalled the vein of anger in his father just beneath the surface over some dark, shrouded event. He couldn’t grasp it as a child, but whatever it was still made his solar plexus constrict at the mere thought or mention of Algolian assassins.