The Shifter's Choice

by Jenna Kernan

Johnny nodded and signed to Sonia. He tried not to notice the silver tear stains on her cheeks but they hit him in the gut like the butt end of a rifle.

  “He says he still wants the shot.”

  Zharov looked to the major who nodded.

  “Give it to him.”

  Sonia grabbed Johnny’s forearm. “But he almost died the last time.”

  “Unlikely now. His body adapts quickly, too damned quickly, to new types of assaults.”

  Johnny patted her hand and peeled her away. Sonia shook her head, silently pleading with him not to go through with it. Didn’t she understand, he’d do anything, anything, just to spend ten more minutes as a man. And to spend those minutes with her, it was all he wanted and he’d pay whatever price he must and when the shots no longer worked, well there was always the pistol.

  “Do you have anything else, any other studies or something that won’t do this to him?”

  Zharov shook his head, fiddling with the tubing of his stethoscope. “I’m working on something but...” He glanced at Mac and Johnny saw the captain give a single shake of his head. What were they hiding? The doctor cleared his throat and continued. “We don’t know why this protein is absent in Lam or how to encourage his body to produce it. We don’t know why he’s rejecting it when it is so prevalent in Captain MacConnelly’s blood. In time we might....”

  Johnny pounded his fists on the exam table, denting the metal. The doctor’s words fell off. Johnny pantomimed a shot to his gums.

  Zharov nodded and turned toward the door. Twenty minutes later Johnny lay stretched on a surgical table, Sonia standing beside him. Her skin was pale and her eyes round as a doll’s.

  “How long will he have this time?” she asked.

  Zharov shrugged. “Less than the last time. Two days? I’m not sure.”

  Johnny opened his mouth and the serum was injected. Sonia gasped when his eyes fluttered. Zharov watched the machinery but Johnny did not lose consciousness this time. His heart raced and he felt a rush of electric energy shuttering through him, as if he’d touched a live wire. He watched the hair cascading from his hands and gave a little shake, sending more falling. His claws retracted and he saw his trimmed nails and neat, pink cuticles. The pain hit him then and he stiffened like an electroshock patient as his vision blurred. He could hear them, but his sight was gone. The ripping agony became the center of his existence as every muscle seized, then convulsed. The straps broke away and he tumbled to the tile floor. On hands and knees he panted and then retched, finally collapsing to his side.

  This was better than the last time? Johnny was suddenly glad he’d passed out during the first shot. Gradually the pain ebbed and his muscles responded to his tentative efforts to control them. He sat up and Sonia draped a sheet around his shoulders, then helped him rise.

  “Am I human?” he said, grinning at the sound of his own voice.

  “Back on the gurney, Lam. We have to get you to a room. I want to examine you. Find the location of the initial attack,” said Zharov.

  “No offense, Doc, but I’m not spending my time in this stinking hospital playing doctor with you.” He grasped Sonia’s hand and headed for the door.

  He met Mac just outside and for one minute worried he might order him back. But he didn’t. Instead, he extended his hand and they shook.

  “Thanks for the blood,” said Johnny.

  “Thanks for not dying on me.” He released Johnny’s hand. “John? I have some information about the night we were attacked in Afghanistan. I had them pull your medical records. Reports from the field hospital show your blood had traces of an agent used to cause memory loss. That’s why you can’t remember.”

  “Why would they do that?” he asked.

  “Don’t know. But we’ll find out. We have to find the physician who treated us. Some of your files were destroyed. I’m looking into that, too.”

  A corporal appeared carrying a freshly pressed set of cammies and Johnny slipped into them. They left the captain and he and Sonia headed up the hill on foot to the home they might share for a day or perhaps two.

  They stopped at the falls before Johnny’s swimming pool watching the pulse of water cascading to the rocks before settling into the slow and gentle journey through the deep natural pond. Sonia gripped his hand.

  “Maybe you should have stayed. Let the doctor check you. Maybe...”

  “Sonia, please. I want to be with you.”

  “Do you think they might be wrong?” she asked.

  “That I only have a day or two? No, Sonia. I think that’s all we have. Maybe all we’ll ever have.”

  Her lower lip trembled and she caught it between strong white teeth as she struggled with her erratic breathing. When she spoke, her voice was strained. “I wasted all those days.”

  “We were searching for a vampire most of it.” He used his knuckles to lift her chin until their eyes met. “You didn’t know.”

  “But they did. That’s why they were concerned when you couldn’t change. But they didn’t tell us. Why didn’t they tell us?”

  Johnny gave her a sad smile. “I don’t know.”

  “They’re hiding something else. I feel it.”

  “Sonia, I’ve never met anyone like you. And if I only have two days I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather spend them with.”

  She threw herself into his arms and he wrapped her up in a strong embrace. The sweetness of his body pressed to hers was punctuated by the knowledge that this would not last. She would not have him next week or next month. He’d be there, but beyond her reach.

  “I should have been here. I just...I was afraid.” She met his gaze, no longer hiding, no longer running. “Now I’m terrified.”

  He dipped his chin and she raised hers so that their mouths met with a sweet blending of texture and taste. But the need burned too hot in them both. Soon his kisses turned fierce. His tongue delved, mingling with hers in a dance of urgency. He caressed her throat, moving down to release each button of her shirt before casting the garment aside. She tugged his shirttails from his trousers and they separated for the time it took for him to pull his shirt over his head and for her to strip out of her bra. She fumbled with his zipper, the desperation making her clumsy. He dragged her to the soft grass and they tugged and pulled until their clothing lay strewn all about them.

  Johnny gave her a wicked smile that heated her body more thoroughly than the humid jungle air. She stroked his cheek and then threaded her fingers in his hair and tugged. He kissed her lips and then moved steadily downward, each kiss bringing her a dart of pleasure. At last his arousing mouth covered her breasts. His tongue grazed across her nipple fanning the steady pulse of need into a blazing fire. The aching want beat low and deep inside her. She pressed against him and he laid her back upon the sweet, fragrant grass. The damp smell of earth mingled with the scent of this man. She breathed deep, hoping to remember each moment, each detail. How long did they have this time?

  His knee pushed between her parting legs and she rose to rub against him, sending a shock of pleasure ripping through her body.

  Her fingers delved into his hair. Frantic, she tried to touch him everywhere at once, exploring his back and arms, stroking her palms over his skin as she rubbed her cleft against his erection.

  His fingers slipped into her hair, tangling in the long waves that fell about her and across the damp earth. His hips lowered to hers, pinning her to the ground. She felt his hard shaft against her trembling body, gliding against the moist folds of her genitalia but it was no longer enough. She needed to feel the thrust and grind of him inside her body.

  He extended his arms, staring down as his dark hair fell about his face. Intent dark eyes stared and the moisture of her kisses still clung to his lips. She tried to memorize every line and plane of his face. This was how she wanted to remember him, young and naked and desperate for what she would give him.

  How long until fate stole him once again? How long until his body finished destroying the protein
that made him human and she lost him once more?

  “Oh, Johnny,” she whispered as the grief seized her again.

  “Don’t think about that now,” he said. “Think about us and what I’m going to do to you. Give me this day to remember.”

  “I wish it were more.”

  “It’s enough.”

  But it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

  He smiled and then lowered his chest to hers as he kissed her neck and ear and finally back down over her throat to find one plump breast and hard nipple.

  There was only now.

  This time when their mouths met there was none of the playful exploration or lustful heat of their earlier meetings. Now, he sensed a wildness, a frenzy that approached panic. Each second that ticked by was a second lost. Johnny gripped her tight and she wrapped her legs about his hips, her body slick and ready. He hesitated.

  “I don’t have protection.”

  “I do,” she whispered. She drew a foil packet from the front pocket of her discarded clothing and tore it open before rolling the condom over the long length of him.

  Another moment and he had slipped inside her in one long, delicious slide. She dug her heels against his thighs, driving still deeper as her tongue delved in frantic, greedy thrusts. They fell into that magic complimentary rhythm, the perfect blending of friction and slick liquid heat. Each moved in opposition and each thrust, each withdrawal brought them closer to madness.

  This time the pleasure was so sweet, so piercing that her eyes rolled back in her head as the tension built and built.

  She threw back her head and arched against him as she came, her rippling contractions gripping him and casting him over the edge with her. Her eyes opened wide to see him staring back at her with the same ecstatic amazement. Could anything ever be that perfect again?

  Johnny felt the shattering orgasm go on and on as he forgot how to breathe. In that moment of supreme surrender, he knew that it was worth any price to have Sonia in his arms. He lay her back on the sweet-smelling grass falling beside her, rolling to his back. He stared up at the blue sky, there in little flashes through the green canopy. White and yellow butterflies flew in crazy patterns from one cascading group of flowers to the next. He pulled Sonia close. She nestled against his side, her hand resting familiar on his chest.

  If only he could stay with her like this forever. How long did they have? A day? A night? He didn’t know.

  They stretched out on a soft cushion of moss in the warm humid air and her breathing changed as she dozed. He turned to watch her sleeping, memorizing the shape of her face.

  He felt it coming this time. His skin tingled and then burned. His joints ached like the worst fever he’d ever had. Then his muscles pulled as if they were about to tear. He lifted a hand and saw the hair sprouting and his nails turning yellow, then black as they grew in a moment to claws. He glanced to Sonia, but she lay languid and still, with eyes still closed.

  He called her name but the sound strangled in his throat.

  “Johnny! Oh, no, Johnny, no.”

  He saw the horror in her eyes as the change gripped him. No, his mind screamed. It was too soon. He rolled in agony as if his skin were on fire.

  * * *

  The change back lasted only a few moments. He was a werewolf again and it had been less than half a day.

  Sonia scrambled into her clothing. He stopped her when she had her shirt and pants on by grasping both shoulders in his big, thick hands. She kept her head down and he made a sound in his throat, a huffing sound. The sound of an animal.

  She lifted her chin and met his gaze. Tears cascaded from her eyes and raced in silver ribbons down her cheeks.

  “Oh, Johnny. It was too quick. What are we going to do?” She fell against him and he gathered her up in his arms.

  He didn’t know but together they headed back to the medical facility.

  The next shot changed him back, but he knew it was the last time. He had time to kiss Sonia and tell her he was sorry. Then he changed back. Johnny tore the exam room to pieces. Even Mac in werewolf form couldn’t stop him. But Sonia did by telling him that he was scaring her. He finally came to rest to see the metal table shredded like aluminum foil and the machinery shattered into a million tiny pieces. He slumped against the wall and Sonia fell into his arms, curling against him with her head on his shaggy chest.

  “They’ll find a way. And I’ll stay with you. You won’t be alone this time.”

  Johnny hung his head and covered his eyes with his gnarled hand. He couldn’t have her. She deserved better than an animal for her guy. He realized one terrible truth. He did not want to live as a werewolf, even if Sonia was willing to stay with him.

  Johnny just wanted to crawl under a rock, but there was blood to draw and tests to run and results to consider. He spent the night in the facility. Sonia refused to leave him so they brought in another bed. The next morning Scofield, Zharov and MacConnelly came with the news that Johnny already knew. The shots would no longer work.

  But they did have another option. Johnny pushed himself up and stared from one grim face to the next. Whatever it was, not one of them liked it.

  Sonia must have sensed doom, as well, for she inched closer to his side and curled her cold hands around his furry bicep.

  It was his captain who broke the silence.

  “Zharov has been working on an avenue that shows some promise. This is entirely different than what you had. It’s not a treatment. More like a weapon. Instead of enabling you to change forms, it changes you back to human. All the way back. You’ll lose your special vision, enhanced sense of smell and you’ll lose your strength, too. We didn’t want that for you. We were hoping to keep you as a shifter, like me.”

  So he could fight vampire assassins overseas?

  The major took over here, seamlessly picking up where the captain left off and confirming her suspicions.

  “This formula is being developed for enemy combatant werewolves to give our men a chance.”

  A chance that her captain and Johnny never had, Sonia realized.

  The captain went on. “It works—100 percent in lab tests. It changes the dogs back to canine form.”

  Johnny’s sign was obvious as he thumped his chest. The captain shook his head.

  “Zharov has gone as far as he can with animal tests. We were hoping to field test it on an enemy werewolf before offering it to you. That opportunity has not been forthcoming.”

  Johnny signed his answer and listened as Sonia spoke his words.

  “We’re hard to catch.”

  Mac’s smile seemed forced. “Yeah, we sure the hell are.”

  Sonia watched Johnny’s words and then shook her head. He motioned to Mac. Sonia gritted her teeth as she spoke. “He says he’ll be the first human subject.”

  Zharov stepped forward, hands clasped behind his back, seeming at ease, but Johnny smelled the stress pheromones pouring from him like mist from a lake.

  “There is a seventy percent mortality rate, Lam. It’s consistent and I haven’t been able to increase the survival rate.”

  Johnny reached for the doctor gripping the front of his pristine white lab coat. Sonia saw murder in his eyes. The captain started towards Johnny, but Sonia was closer and she grabbed his thick wrist with both hands and tugged. She wasn’t strong enough to stop him, but she was strong enough to distract him.

  “Senior officer,” she said, appealing to his training.

  Johnny’s eyes flicked to her and then back to the doctor. He leaned in and growled, showing his powerful canines. Then he let go. Zharov staggered back, holding his chest.

  Johnny started signing.

  “He says he should have been given the choice.”

  “It was decided that the best option was to keep you safe and...”

  His words fell off and now Sonia was angry. They wanted Johnny to remain a werewolf. Sonia lunged at the doctor and Johnny swept her off her feet, holding her for the few seconds it took for h
er brain to reengage. She’d gotten into more trouble on impulse than anyone she knew.

  “Thanks,” she whispered.

  He released her and patted her shoulder.

  He signed his answer and Sonia threw up her hands angry at Johnny now. He didn’t care. This was his life and his decision.

  “What did he say?” asked Mac.

  “He said better odds than he got on his last mission.” She turned back to him.

  Mac took over here. “This wasn’t even an option until recently. This treatment, wasn’t intended for your situation. This is a weapon developed to neutralize the enemy. They plan to use it to kill werewolves. It’s lethal.”

  Johnny signed that they said they’d modified it so it wasn’t as lethal.

  Sonia spoke quickly, her voice sharp. “Not as lethal? Are you crazy? Didn’t you hear them? Seventy percent, they said. I’m not going to stand here and watch you die.”

  Well, he wasn’t staying like this and he told her so.

  “Why not? Why do you have to do this stupid dangerous thing instead of being patient for a little while longer? Wait until they catch a wolf and try it on someone other than you.”

  He signed and she translated.

  “Do you have anything else in the works?” Her eyes pleaded with the doctor, but Zharov shook his head.

  “This is our best option to date. We are predicting that if he survives, he would be human and all traces of the werewolf protein would be eliminated. He would not be able to shift again.”

  Johnny looked to Mac as he signed. Sonia spoke in cadence with his signs.

  He says, “What about Bri?”

  Mac met Johnny’s stare in silence for a moment. “Not your objective, soldier. You’re relieved of duty.”

  Johnny turned to Zharov.

  Do it, he signed.

  She didn’t translate. Instead she turned on him and clasped his hand in both of hers. “Johnny, don’t. I’ll wait if you will.”

  No.

  She didn’t give up. Just changed tactics like any good marine. “You have a family that needs you. Without you, they will lose their home. Remember? You’re mom doesn’t make enough to support them. Your sister won’t go to college. Don’t do this.”